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How many of you here get soo low sometimes you feel like popping your head of? Yeah am that low now. Any bright ideas to get me bubble again, please????
Whoa dude!
remember, after every night there is a morning, Whatever cr*p you have to go through, whatever hurdles you have to jump, trust in yourself.
Best advice I've ever recieved.
If you want someone to listen to all your problems, I'm all ears. Just don't consider rash decisions.....life's waay too precious/
Thanks Buddy
Merlin_reloaded said:
remember, after every night there is a morning, Whatever cr*p you have to go through, whatever hurdles you have to jump, trust in yourself.
Best advice I've ever recieved.
If you want someone to listen to all your problems, I'm all ears. Just don't consider rash decisions.....life's waay too precious/
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What can i say???? Thank you. Simple words but believe me you made me feel alot better. I mean that. Thank you
and
u can also think about people who go through alot more a day then urself. I just joined the Army and just finished basic training 3 weeks ago, and now go to AIT to become a Information Systems Specialist. My schedule is crazy and I barely have time for myself, but I just keep my head up and look to my battle buddies for morale boosts.
Anytime
Glad to be of help/
Think...
Think about the people in life who matter. If they're the problem then think about... your phone.
My best friend completed suicide 4 years ago. It was devastating!!! The fact that you are here asking, is a good thing. I honestly would urge you to call a hotline the next time you get the blues so bad you feel this way. Suicide is a permanant solution to a temporary problem, and those left behind will never understand why...they will always be left with a hole in their hearts. Trust me on this fact. While it often seems as if it is only you, it isn't. I can guarantee that folks care about you, and that you aren't alone...so go to those folks, or as I mentioned before call a hotline. There is a line in Gone With the Wind..."after all, tomorrow is another day"...you make it dark or sunny, hopefully you will choose to make it sunny.
I hope whatever has you down passes quickly.
You know, i can identify with you man... Life gets ****ty and the past 2 months for me have been the worst, and in all honesty i cant say that i havent had the same thoughts... But i could never do it, i have 2 young daughters and 2 young step daughters that i love more than anything... And i hate to sound like i play favorites, but my 2 yr old means more to me than anything and i couldnt imagine possibly leaving her, if there is one thing that brings me back to this world and reality its her... Moral of my story, there has to be something that will center you and bring you back, think about it
Been there bro...
Been there too... 3 and 6 yr old boys and fantastic wife keep me going.
Check out St. Johns Wart. It really helps me out when Im feeling blue and has little side effects. It has been used extensively in Germany and Europe for years.
I agree with everyone else... There is always tomorrow and it will be a better day.
Cheers.
It would also be a good idea for you to start going to the gym.
Weight lifting has helped me trough some bad times in my life.
It's amaizing how much can a little phisical activity help you.
Go and try it, if nothing else you will at least blow off some steam.
moral of the story is find something to do, something to keep your mind busy, tomorrow is a different day, it cant rain all the time
Exercise...
Try a recumbent bike...
http://www.sunbicycles.com/sun/recumbents.htm
Wow, so today I found out that my ex-girlfriend now, been messaging her ex-boyfriend telling him he misses her and loves her and wants to be with him behind my back. Let me remind you that she is pregnant with my kid. I read her google chat log and found out all different kind of messages. I was completely shocked and completely *****ed at her. I told her stup*d as* to pack up her sh!t and get the f*ck out of my house. To think I was going to marry her as*.
Wow that's harsh man. Sorry to hear it. If there was no kid involved I'd say you're lucky to have found out, but that's just wrong on the little one. What a role model Mummy's gonna be
Sorry to hear that also, I think you need to care about your child now. Try not to confront her or him, just don't give a crap for the well being of your child (that needs to be your primary focus from now on).
Cheers man and good luck.
Archer said:
Wow that's harsh man. Sorry to hear it. If there was no kid involved I'd say you're lucky to have found out, but that's just wrong on the little one. What a role model Mummy's gonna be
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Yeah, I really ended up with something huh.. Nice way to start off the New Years.. F*ck that b!tch!
UPDATE: She's calling me telling me sorry and how she doesnt want me to leave.. What a dumb b!tch. Seriously. I told her to get the f*ck out of my life and get her sh!t out. Tired of her bullsh!t.
Mr. Clown said:
Sorry to hear that also, I think you need to care about your child now. Try not to confront her or him, just don't give a crap for the well being of your child (that needs to be your primary focus from now on).
Cheers man and good luck.
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Archer said:
Wow that's harsh man. Sorry to hear it. If there was no kid involved I'd say you're lucky to have found out, but that's just wrong on the little one. What a role model Mummy's gonna be
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Thank you both for hearing me out. Really appreciate the comments. Its good to talk to someone about something awful like this.
Make sure you don't sign that birth certificate until you get DNA confirmation that it's your baby.
I have a friend that got trapped and is paying child support on a child that's not his because he signed (acknowledged) that the child was his.
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Above&Beyond™ said:
Yeah, I really ended up with something huh.. Nice way to start off the New Years.. F*ck that b!tch!
UPDATE: She's calling me telling me sorry and how she doesnt want me to leave.. What a dumb b!tch. Seriously. I told her to get the f*ck out of my life and get her sh!t out. Tired of her bullsh!t.
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That's going to be a hard line to take if she's pregnant with your child... sounds like she might be a part of your life for good now, one way or the other. :/
Still, sorry to hear it bro.
Yeah, it's a tough situation all round. As said above, you are going to be involved in her life now for many, many years, so as Mr Clown said you need to forget your anger towards them because the little one is the most important thing.
Obviously, I agree with Android300ZX that a DNA test is a wise precaution.
Just one pertinent question: Are you sure it's your kid?
One thing to say: She's only sorry because she got caught. Ditch the b*tch bro, plenty of other chicks out there.
also MAKE SURE U RECORD everything when it come time to back what u need ex tv,couch,phone,printer,computer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkt7Dx_uK5Y SHE DA CHEATING HO*
Its cheaper to keep her. Eff child support. My dad had to go through it 7, yes that's right, SEVEN times.
-My life is a shooting range, people never change-
watt9493 said:
Its cheaper to keep her. Eff child support. My dad had to go through it 7, yes that's right, SEVEN times.
-My life is a shooting range, people never change-
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This statement really pisses me off. One of my employees always says it all the time. It is not about what option is less expensive...it is about what makes you both happy.
You both need to have a heart to heart and decide if you want to make things work or if it is best to separate ways. Take it from someone who was married for 6 years with someone who didnt seem like he wanted to be there...in the end, I was tired of being in love with a man that didn't seem to feel the same about me and we were divorced. Now I am a single mom and things are much better off.
Examine your relationship now before you get to involved. Your baby will be best with 2 parents who love each other, rather then 2 parents who only stay together for the kid.
I agree you should catalog everything that you had pre-relationship with her. It's not marriage but things can go south very fast. I also agree with who ever posted about not signing the birth certificate until you know 110% sure that the baby is yours. I had a girlfriend who was messing around with other guys behind my back when she got pregnant (found that out after we went through everything). Good luck bro
Damn... Sorry to hear that bro
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Hey man, altough you think this is the end of the world, it isn´t. Let your friends and family comfort you, that life goes on.
That will be a prolonged pain. Find time to spend totally away from her to heal.
I'm gonna go back on what I previously said, after thinking about it some more. We've all made mistakes - I've made tons of them! If you care enough about the girl to be planning a family and marriage with her then maybe it's worth at least seeing what happens.
It's easy for someone not in the situation to knee-jerk but what do we know about how you two really feel about each other? Nothing.
Just use this place to vent and see our responses, then ignore them all completely and do what's best for you, your misses and the little one. Just be honest and you can't go wrong.
I usually don't repeat myself but:
-Make sure you get a DNA test!
-A lot of females use that (I'm pregnant) against a guy to keep him. It may very well be true but be careful.
-Record everything! Make a backup on Gmail. I would use Google Voice and have Google Voice be your primary voicemail. If she calls you and leaves a voicemail it will get saved to Google Voice where you can download it to your desktop and keep it on file.
-Take most if not all the things she says to you with a grain of salt.
-Make sure you don't end up looking like the deadbeat that just picked up and left. They tend to make themselves look like the victim to their friends and family.
-If the child is yours take care of your business and appreciate them because they are pure.
-If you find it in your heart to forgive her make sure you really forgive her and not bring it up when you get into the occasional argument.
I have experience in this. My GF cheated on me twice. The first time she would go out with her "girls" (multiple instances of partying with her "girls" and coming back late in the AM) and I found out she was going out with a guy that I knew who was in our circle of friends. She would cut school and hang out with this guy all the while I was paying for her education. She doesn't work or hasn't in the 4 years we've been together because I took care of everything as a man. The second time I caught her was on her birthday when I came home early (unannounced) from work to surprise her and caught her leaving the neighbors house and overheard her on the phone discussing the events with her BFF. I couldn't forgive her because the thought of me seeing this guy's car every day and the fact that I know he's be laughing at me from behind the confines of his home taking me for a sucker. The only reason I haven't pummeled his face in is because of my daughter.
I have a kid with her and I still live with her but we are only together for the sake of my daughter. She graduates this month from school and will get a job in her field so we will sit down and discuss our arrangements and separation.
Just make sure you cover all your bases man.
*** Again, Do the DNA test!! Don't fall for that guilt trip she may put on your about you denying your child and not trusting her ***
They will use that against you and make you succumb to signing the certificate.
Hang in there man, it's tough. I think that you best pursue what's going to be the best for your son or daughter.
There is a test they can do for paternity during gestation, it determines gender among other things of the child, mostly done for at risk older mothers.
If in the end you find you are a father, ill tell you first hand (literally holding my Lil guy) its a feeling like no other. You've got to do what's best for your own, which will likely be to split. Your gf likely grew up on a household with a limited example of a father figure, and you certainly don't want your own kid to turn into the same type of person as her.
Yeah, DNA test seems good suggestion. Make sure wich base it came from. Also maybe ask for a ETA.
Oké, now go to Dr Phill or Jerry Springer. Last time i checked it was a technical forum.
Cheers
Results announced. I did very, very poor. Actually the reason for this is, I am not at all interested in studying what I am. I am always like 'Not feeling to'. Currently in Uni, 2nd year. Thinking of dropping out, the same I thought when I was in 1st year but I gave that thought away thinking that its just a new place, I will get suited to it. But now I am fairly sure, that trying to do something which I am not interested in will not land me anywhere good.
Experienced people, please suggest should I drop out? Reason holding me back are, my 2 years will be wasted not to mention the money put in.
lamborg said:
Results announced. I did very, very poor. Actually the reason for this is, I am not at all interested in studying what I am. I am always like 'Not feeling to'. Currently in Uni, 2nd year. Thinking of dropping out, the same I thought when I was in 1st year but I gave that thought away thinking that its just a new place, I will get suited to it. But now I am fairly sure, that trying to do something which I am not interested in will not land me anywhere good.
Experienced people, please suggest should I drop out? Reason holding me back are, my 2 years will be wasted not to mention the money put in.
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I got 3 Choices for ya.
-Finish The School Year
-Switch Majors to something ya like
-Just Stick to it because you have put money in
Debel said:
I got 3 Choices for ya.
-Finish The School Year
-Switch Majors to something ya like
-Just Stick to it because you have put money in
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Cannot switch majors. Our uni doesn't give any option like that.
I might drag myself to the finish of the course or I might drop out. Lets see. Thanks for your opinion.
Sure thing good luck
That's impossible. School have to allow to let you switch majors, unless you live in commie cuba or something. Go back, take easy classes for now, don't overwhelm yourself. My school kicked me out due to low grades. I'm starting a different school in 2 weeks, and I will have to waste 1.5 hours on the subway one way, but I need to get my GPA up so then I can write an appeals to my old school. So just go back, and take classes that won't be too hard to understand.
Sent from my iPhone 6GS using Tapatalk.
Universities in the UK are run differently to the US.
I was at uni in the mid 90s and after a car accident in my first year, went back to start again.
About this time of year, a housemate came home high on drugs and attacked me, so I decided to leave uni, I wasn't enjoying it and back then with loans of only £1000 it was costing too much to live (not like students now with their generous loans).
I was unemployed for 2 weeks, had to pay Hampshire county council the small grant I had back.
However, times have changed, there were better employment prospects at the time, how are yours now?
xaccers said:
However, times have changed, there were better employment prospects at the time, how are yours now?
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What he said.
There's nothing worse than making a mistake that you can't take back. Especially one that could change your life forever. I'd stay the course and see if you can't work something out with your tutors to get on top of the situation.
One or two sucky years is better than forty or fifty!
this is a grim topic....
Let's say you already drop out of college, what would you do after that?
iynfynity said:
Let's say you already drop out of college, what would you do after that?
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Find a minimum wage job?
Stick it out. There are ways to make it more fun. Lots of people think back to college as a time when things were more fun. Get laid / smoke a joint. Oh, and don't forget about cheating to get good grades. Join a study group or frat (ie something where everybody ia trying for good grades). They might also have some fun activities.
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iynfynity said:
Let's say you already drop out of college, what would you do after that?
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Well, doing this course was never my interest. After drop out, I'll try to do what I always wanted to or had interest in and of course get some job.
Karakoram2 said:
Stick it out. There are ways to make it more fun. Lots of people think back to college as a time when things were more fun. Get laid / smoke a joint. Oh, and don't forget about cheating to get good grades. Join a study group or frat (ie something where everybody ia trying for good grades). They might also have some fun activities.
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Well yes, a lot of people think like 'College is the best part of life' and all, but honestly, I never felt that way not even close to. Everyday I am like, oh another week, I have to go to college so that I can get minimum attendance required so that they allow to give the exams. I am never excited or looking forward to going to the classes, not even a single class and no wonder this will affect my result which I have just seen.
... ... ...
after discussion with a few people, I am thinking of continuing this course and get a side course, like correspondence in which you have to study at home and only go to give the exams.
what's your course?
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Turn on, tune in, drop out.
iynfynity said:
what's your course?
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applied physics engineering
I was in a similar position several years ago. I've just finished my 2nd year of uni and I've completely lost interest in studying. My poor grades led to me being suspended for a semester.
I seriously considered dropping out to pursue a career in IT via A+ Certification. Anyway, after several long discussions with my family, I decided put my head down and graduate from uni first before making any further career decisions.
It was the best decision I ever made. I became a more mature and disciplined person through the experience. And I'm able to use it my advantage during job interviews. I'm able to say things like:
"I don't give up easily when faced with hardships. I hit a snag in the road during university but I'm able to push through it with my determination. My immaturity early-on cost me dearly in terms of average GPA. But if you just look at my grades over my last several semesters, those high marks represent my growth and my true potential."
If you drop out now, it would be hard to answer the inevitable interview question: "I see here on your CV that you've attended so-and-so university for 2 years. What happened there?"
ohyeahar said:
I was in a similar position several years ago. I've just finished my 2nd year of uni and I've completely lost interest in studying. My poor grades led to me being suspended for a semester.
I seriously considered dropping out to pursue a career in IT via A+ Certification. Anyway, after several long discussions with my family, I decided put my head down and graduate from uni first before making any further career decisions.
It was the best decision I ever made. I became a more mature and disciplined person through the experience. And I'm able to use it my advantage during job interviews. I'm able to say things like:
"I don't give up easily when faced with hardships. I hit a snag in the road during university but I'm able to push through it with my determination. My immaturity early-on cost me dearly in terms of average GPA. But if you just look at my grades over my last several semesters, those high marks represent my growth and my true potential."
If you drop out now, it would be hard to answer the inevitable interview question: "I see here on your CV that you've attended so-and-so university for 2 years. What happened there?"
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You have a good point there.
lamborg said:
You have a good point there.
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I went to engineering college studied electronics.
Passed a AVR & PIC exam.
Then got bored with my classes and dropped out after 2 years.
I went to look for a job... no luck anywhere.
Then wrote comptia +A exam.
Still no luck.
Passed N+
BAM finally got a position that i could live off of.
It's been a hard climb due to my age.
Time is limited.. go now.
Finish thy classes.
For thou shalt have time to peruse other things without the waste.
well im a full time welder and I've always liked my job But lately things have been going slow in my life and I feel like i'm just going nowhere in life.
I went to college coming out of high school and blew it off like an idiot. I've always been wanting to go back but I always feel like i'm setting myself up for failure and will just waste my time and money.
I'm 24 years old and now i'm at a point in my life where I have to start getting my **** together, but this welding job is just moving to slow for me.
for the past 3-4 years, I've been learning and working with computers. Im not a pro at it but I know more then the average person.
Well I've been doing a lot of thinking and its time I go back to school to improve my life. i want to get more into the computer world and chase a computer science degree. My question to you guys is, where should I start? I know I need to look into schools, classes etc. what I mean is what can I start studying in the mean time (before I actually start my schooling) so that I can have a head start.
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.
Thread moved. Would advise you to read forum rules and post in correct section.
Failure to comply with forum rules will result in an infraction and/or ban depending on severity of rule break.
Sorry about that.
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What kind of thing do you want to do with computers? Hardware, software, app development, web development, game development, db admin, network admin? There's loads of routes to go down, all dependant on what you want to do.
And if anyone recommends a programming language to you before you answer that question then they don't know what they're talking about. Either that, or they're just saying "this is what I know - look at me - aren't I clever?".
Im leaning toward network admin. Im planning to aign up fall or winter classes but I wanna study a bit before starting. My company will pay for the schooling depending on the grades.
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Good for you man !!! Its never too late to do something.
Im also going back to college in september, Im 22 with a fiance and child, But that aint stopping me !!
Hopefully looking to do a course on Programming and Software Development
I'm trying to learn Python. I think I can get the hang of it before school starts again in September.
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I can't advise you on the network admin side of things, other than you'll need a good degree to get a decent job, or start really at the bottom and work your way up slowly. It's quite a well-educated field, for real pros. There's plenty of hack and slash network admins out there, but they're the type that bring networks down by saying "I wonder what that does!" (I've worked with some of them before )
azzledazzle said:
Good for you man !!! Its never too late to do something.
Im also going back to college in september, Im 22 with a fiance and child, But that aint stopping me !!
Hopefully looking to do a course on Programming and Software Development
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Respect man. I think it gets harder once you have a family. I got a nice girl now and been thinking about settling down but the thought of not being able to provide is the only thing stopping me.
Archer said:
I can't advise you on the network admin side of things, other than you'll need a good degree to get a decent job, or start really at the bottom and work your way up slowly. It's quite a well-educated field, for real pros. There's plenty of hack and slash network admins out there, but they're the type that bring networks down by saying "I wonder what that does!" (I've worked with some of them before )
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Well my plan is to use my company To pay for my school and at the.same time switch over to the I.T department (which will be no problem). That way I can be hands on while im learning. After im finished, I should have enough.experience to move up, weather its in this company or somewhere else.
Q
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Good luck
Its never to late to do something
W!LßSO @ XDA
Absolutely, good luck with it. I was 22 before I got a qualification in programming, despite developing software since the age of 8. No-one would give me a job without it, so I did a course, got the paper and got a job. Been doing it ever since.
It's good to do something new and start over, as long as it's something you have a passion for.
I'm in medical school now, three years to graduation(but, I'll study another six years after that...). I have this friend, he's, I think over 30 years, and he's at the same "grade" as I am. He also was like you, had a "low-education"(help me here ) job, and then he decided to go into Med. I'm kinda proud of him, he's a good inspiration for people like you. It's a long way to become a doc, but it's never too late. I strongly recommend you to go to school, it'll be worth it!
All respect and luck shall be with you!
(I just realized my grammar sucks )
Yea man 24 is not late at all! Im a emt and a emergency medical flight dispatcher and when my girl gets done with school in like 3 semesers i think ima go back and be a game warden for the state of louisiana. She is 28 and im 34 and we have a two year old good luck man its worth it.
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..if I were to go back to school I would like to take up Android Software Development & know all there is to know about Andy coz Andy is the Future
@Archer
my son will be graduating from HS, what's his best move to get into "Android Software Development"? you developed software at 8? how is that possible
tnx
Definitely check out the Community Colleges in your area, especially ones that have really good relationships with the better Engineering/Technical universities in your area. You will save yourself a ton doing your first two years there, and a lot of schools that will even let you get complete your four year degree through associated Community Colleges. You also get the benefit of smaller classes and professors that actually know your name.
I just finished my associates after going on and off forever so don't feel like you're outback because you've waited. Get it done man, you're still well ahead of the curve. If you want to start this fall though you need to go ahead and sign up.
deadlocked007 said:
Is it bad that I don't want to go to college? I'm a high honors student and everything but I don't know. My parents would hate me for this. After highschool I want to book a flight to some other part of the country. Maybe somewhere in California? Find an okay job and a little apartment. Buy myself a comfy couch and live alone and sit and soak in life. It's all I want I guess... But I get it you guys are motivated by things like your own family and stuff. I'd love to find someone but I know that probably won't happen because of the person I am. So I have no need to have a lot of money or be rich at all like most people. Just enough to get by and maybe occasionally buy a game or phone or something haha.
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Don't be a hermit.
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deadlocked007 said:
Not really a hermit haha. Just going on with life but alone mostly. I'd still have a job and stuff which would lead to talking to some extent. I'd be kinda talking to you guys through here because I would never leave you guys :3 even if I did go to college my life would be the same. I'd just be earning more money....
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With the high cost of living in California, you'll need more motivation than that.
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deadlocked007 said:
Fine then :I Texas?
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I never lived there, but if boborone finds this thread, he can clue you in on TX.
Sent from my coffee pot.
And as could I, im located about 45 minutes from houston xD
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Most apartments and stuff in my particular area are about 300 to 400 a month which isn't too bad for a decent place. But im in a small town, now if I was to drive about 15 minutes to the next town they can be around 700 to 1200 a month
Im a special case however the place I got me and the roommate own the property and the house, so we only have to pay utilities and bills.
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Ok folks, I don't frequently ask for advice in matters of the heart or personal stuff. Typically I confine myself to the realm of IT and phones. But awhile back when I was still whacked out over my Ex, I hurt someone I cared for greatly. It's been tough making things work out but I decided to lay everything on the line and I am mailing the following letter to her in hopes of things working out. Any input especially from the fairer sex (if there be any here :laugh would be appreciated. Any thoughts folks?
Redacted
,
There’s a great deal of things I would like to say to you. Many would most likely just be a rehash of things I have said before. I don’t believe though that anything I ever say from this moment on would be sufficient to change the way things are right now. I know I have tried time and time again to express my sincere regret for my actions. I did something terrible to you. It wasn’t getting you sick, it wasn’t making you feel used, and it wasn’t being a real jerk to you. It was turning my back on you. I walked away when I should have stayed and stood by you. I truly regret my actions and if I could, I would take them back and do things differently. I would have stayed by your side. I would have shown you that I was a good man and that I truly do care for you.
I’ve said this before and I do mean it, I have always felt something for you. Ever since we were children a part of me has been in love with you. Not just because I think you are beautiful, but because of who you are. I’ve always loved the way you carried yourself, the way you moved, the way you sat, everything. It wasn’t until we were adults that I realized behind the beauty and grace was a mind that was as wonderful as the rest of you. You are an amazing woman whom anyone would be lucky to have in their life.
When I changed my status and you messaged me, we talked and ended up admitting truths. When you accepted my offer for a date, I was elated. How often does the woman of your dreams, the one you’ve had a crush on your entire life, the one you always imagined asking out, actually pay attention to you and says yes to a date with you? When we went out, I thought I was over the past and I was wrong. I didn’t mean to hurt you the way I did.
The worst thing for me is being alone. Not necessarily being alone, but being alone in my thoughts. When I’m alone, I have nothing to distract me from my thoughts. I’ve had time to evaluate my actions, my decisions, and my life. I see a great many mistakes I have made in my life. Many of them I cringe at knowing I did or said those things. I look back at turning my back on you and I want to just berate myself and kick myself over and over again for what I did. I was a fool for doing that. You deserved better than my actions and I have no excuse for what I did. Regardless of my mindset or my thoughts at the time, you deserved someone who would be there especially when he caused it. I wasn’t.
Since then, I have wanted nothing more than to make it up to you. To show you I am the man you deserve. I’ve wanted nothing more than to deserve you. I know I’ve made a royal mess of my life due to my actions and have damaged yours as well. You were doing great and while you may have wanted more in life and would have eventually attained that goal, I set you back. I don’t know how far and I hope it’s not nearly as far as I believe it to be. I believe you deserve the best in life. I believe we all do. I don’t know if I am what’s best for you, but I know that for me, settling for anyone other than you would be a grave mistake on my part. I would be a true fool to not try and show you I am a good man and I deserve a second chance.
I’ve tried calling you a fair amount lately, as well as texting you. You haven’t answered my phone calls and lately haven’t answered a single text. I can’t say I blame you for not talking to me all things considered. I’ve been terrible to you and haven’t been the person you need in your life. I want to be that man but I don’t know if you can ever let go of the past and the distrust. I don’t know if you can ever truly trust me again. That in itself is a shame as I am a good man and would be willing to do just about anything to ensure your well being and your happiness. Once committed to something, I am determined to see it through. Perhaps you think I should be committed for being this way, but it’s who I am. It takes something major to change my mind about things. I think you know that by now.
I know that between not working and with the medical issues you’ve mentioned that you might be unsure of things. I know that you’ve said you don’t believe I can make decisions that take you into consideration. I want you to know that even knowing that you have problems medically, that if things are as bad as you fear, that you may not be around for as long as you would like to be, I am still here and I won’t walk away just because things are difficult again. I did once and I learned a valuable lesson from doing so. I learned what was worth fighting for and what wasn’t. I want to be there for you. I want to show you the support you deserve and be there for you when you want and need me. I already am even though you may not want me to be.
You agreed with me once that if I had not been a fool and been the man a woman like you deserves, we both may have been happy together right now. Despite all the bad, we would have been together and together we would have worked towards something great.
There’s a saying, one that I agree with, “Nothing good in life is ever easy.” I believe that the best things in life are worth fighting for. I believe that you are worth it. That despite where I may stand in your eyes or in your heart, I believe trying is the right thing to do. I may be wrong but without your input, I don’t know to stop.
I am not asking you to jump into anything with me. I would like for you to, but I can wait a bit for that. What I am asking is that we start over and that you let me prove to you that I am worth a second chance. I want to prove to you that I am the man you deserve, one that will always be there for you. I’d like to pick up things where we left off, but I don’t believe that’s an option anymore. I’m willing to start anywhere you think we should just so that one day I can rebuild the trust I shattered and one day we can have a relationship that puts others to shame.
I want to be more to you than a bad decision easily forgotten. I believe I deserve better than that and I believe that I can be the absolute best choice you’ve ever made.
You once said that I should focus on rebuilding my life. You said that I should fix my life before trying to start a relationship with you. I am working towards that every day. I have good and bad days but overall, things are moving in the right direction. I believe though that when I am not working or able to work towards my goals, the free time I have so to speak, that those times are when I should work on rebuilding your trust and our friendship, that those times should be spent with you.
I am going to rebuild my life better than before. I want that life to include you, to be there for you and you for me. I would like for us to be together for as long as we have on this earth. I would ask for the next life too, but I don’t want to seem too eager or greedy. I know things don’t always work out as planned and that all of this may be wishful thinking, but I truly believe that we were in each other’s paths again after so long a time apart for a reason. I do not believe though that our paths should diverge just yet. I believe that there is more for us here and that we should pursue it. I hope that deep down you feel the same way. I hope that somewhere deep inside is the desire to see things work out and for us to have a chance together even after everything that I caused.
I’ve made mistakes in my life before. I’ve made a great many of them, but none as great or none I regret more than hurting you and breaking your trust. I want you to know I will spend the rest of my life and do anything I have to in order to earn back your trust and friendship, to earn back the look in your eyes when you looked into mine, the right to hold your hand in mine again, to hold you close and say the things that matter in life.
I want to try again. I want to be the man for you. Will you let me be that man?
Sincerely,
Darrell
You sound like a young man. Take some advice from a 33 yr old that has walked many paths and who has loved and lost. As cliche as it sounds, its true, if its ment to be, it will happen. Explaining to her how you hurt and and how much you love her will not make her comeback. The heart wants what it wants. I know the pain at time seems unbearable at times and the obsesive thoughts seem to never to stop, but in time, the pain starts to recede, the thoughts slowly die down. Concentrate on yourself for now, stay away from alcohol, and live one day at a time. In time, you will find that special someone, and she will be nothing but a memory.
Man I hate to tell you but I hope the kids in OT don't have a hay day with this. It's a legitimate request. If things get to outta hand, hit me up with a PM. I've been down this road and it's not an easy one. If you want advice, shoot me a message. Best of luck to ya man!!
A toast from my Gnex aboard the Satisfaction!
Actually I'm 33. Big loveable guy at heart lol.
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DarrellRaines said:
Actually I'm 33. Big loveable guy at heart lol.
Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using xda premium
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O rly!? :what: Me and you have lived very diffrent lives.
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Some parts of it seemed long and repetitive.
I think you can cut it shorter but still say what you want to say.
If she hasn't replied your texts or returned your phone calls, a letter this long may be thrown out immediately.
Just my 2 cents.
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LoopDoGG79 said:
O rly!? :what: Me and you have lived very diffrent lives.
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I've been lucky. Up until recently I should say. I love freely and end up getting hurt a lot. We are the sum of our life experiences.
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I immediately skipped to this line at the bottom
I want to try again. I want to be the man for you. Will you let me be that man?
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That's all I need to read to tell you that you need to move on. Sorry, but it's true. Just the fact that you're asking her if you can "be that man" just says a lot.
I believe I deserve better than that
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Prove it. Go out there and find somebody better. After all, you do deserve it.
Ooooohhhhhh k, now that I've re-read it, I gotta take back what I said. Dude, you can't put yourself out there like that. You might as well be the weird stalker guy that watches her go to the grocery store. You gotta move on man. Swallow what little bit of pride you have and keep on going.
A wise man once told me, the only way to get over one girl is to get under another.
A toast from my Gnex aboard the Satisfaction!
'I am not asking you to jump into anything with me. I would like for you to, but I can wait a bit for that.'
you shouldn't write 'i can wait a bit'...
it sounds like 'yeah if you don't get laid by me next week, i'll search for another one'...
just write 'i can wait'
PS: good luck to you man!
Okay, I'm writing this in Notepad as I read what you wrote.
First paragraph, I'd trim this down. A lot of it is shooting yourself in the foot is going on here if your goal in this is to try to win her back.
"I turned my back on you. I walked away when I should have stayed and stood by you. I truly regret my actions. I wish I'd had the sense to stay by your side - I wish I could have been a better man."
Second paragraph, I'd cut this entirely, at least this early on.
Third paragraph : "You deserved better". You could attach this to the first at this point. A lot of this feels like a guilt trip for her when you're claiming you've hurt her. Don't tell her why YOU are needy and need her - why should she care (even if she does) ?
Fourth paragraph, same as second. This feels kind of random and unnecessary at this point.
Fifth paragraph. Okay. I don't know the situation, so that makes this really hard. But I wouldn't say in your letter that you DESERVE a second chance. Don't put this on her like she somehow needs to do you a favour. " I know I’ve made a royal mess of my life due to my actions and have damaged yours as well. You were doing great and while you may have wanted more in life and would have eventually attained that goal, I set you back. I don’t know how far, but I hope you're still able to attain all you wanted*" (*I don't know the situation, so I don't know how much she can expect ?) Tell her how you can HELP her attain whatever it is you set her back from, even if you can't directly.
Sixth paragraph. This whole letter is really vague so far - have you edited it for the internet ? If not, I'd be more specific. "I don't know if you can ever trust me again, that I understand". She knows she's been ignoring you - you don't have to tell HER that.
Seventh. "I wish I had been good enough to not have to hurt you in the process of learning what was worth living and fighting for". Somethingn like that.
Eight. You've basically said this before. Stop dwelling on it - it happened. What can you do to at least tell her in words that you're comitted to making a CHANGE ? What would you do in the FUTURE with her if you got back together at this point ? What would you do for HER ?
Nine. "Starting over" is not what you want. If you started over, well, you'd end up in the same place, right ? You need to express that you've learned and that that is always with you - that you're not going to mentally "start over".
Ten. Okay, what progress HAVE you made ? Can you tell her about THAT ? What can you do to make progress with her ? What would you like to do if you were to start "slow" ?
Eleven and Tweleve. I'm not going to comment on these, specifically.
Okay, so.
If I was reading this, I would feel you're too focused on NEEDING her and it's a lot of words, words, words - but no action. It's all talk and not much substance to actually mean something to someone who's been hurt. Address what you did. Address what you would DO. Address HOW you've changed, what you're doing. Let her know specifics about what you're doing to improve your life and yourself. Let her know HOW you can help her, what are you willing to do ? How can you support her ?
I'm not here to comment on if this is the right thing to do or if you need to move on. Maybe you do - I don't know. I don't know you or the situation. I'm just reading this, trying to think about if I'd been sent it.
I'm reading a whole lot of "I WANT you in MY life" - but no really good reasons why she should want to be in yours. Why should she ? ... SHOULD she ? If it really would be good for her, why ? Don't tell her that she needs to "fight" for this with you - if she's the one who's been hurt, why should she have to struggle any more ? Show her that you've changed and advanced enough that it wouldn't need to be something difficult.
Don't take this too personally. I don't know you, I don't know her - I don't know what happened. I can't tell you the best 'advice' possible without that.
Beware rebounds. If you haven't fixed your **** before trying to move on, you'll invariably **** up again and probably make the same sort of mistakes - or hey, maybe even all new ones. Figure your **** out - it's what this girl you're writing to wants to see - and it's what any girl who isn't going to be another couple broken hearts is going to want to see. It's old, but it's true - you can't expect to find someone to fully love and commit to you if you're not even fully what you want from yourself.
I tried. :good:
^ Great suggestions.
To OP, I read the whole thing. Twice. You're truly expressing yourself, but you don't need to keep reminding her what happened. She KNOWS what happened. And I would even say she dwells on it. So saying stuff like 'I turned my back on you" wouldn't really help. Being self critical is fine, but I found it to be slightly overkill.
And, in the whole letter, I kept searching for the world "sorry". You haven't said sorry even once. You NEED to tell her your sorry. She NEEDS to know that. You need to actually apologize to her instead of saying that you are unworthy.
If you really think she's the one, go pursue her, and don't let up.
I'm much younger than you, but I hope my advice helps.
Best of luck, mate.
So I read your letter and I can see that you're very troubled with the situation. A lot of people here have given you great advice, I'd really consider not shooting yourself in the foot like the person above stated.
My main concern is the letter seems more about you feeling bad and wanting to make things right rather than actually apologize and let the chips fall where they may, again like the person above stated.
My two cents, take out at least half of your "I"s . Don't beat yourself up especially in a letter to her as that won't inspire confidence in you as a man. Straight up, be a man; apologize for whatever happened, tell her what you feel, and then give her space. Sucks but other than that you'll suffocate her.
Hope all goes well man.
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