So this has absolutely nothing to do with Android or anything...
So me and my wife have been together since freshman year in high school we are now 27.. have a 7 year old and a 1 month old. I love her.. and would never cheat on her..
A week or so ago I got a message from a cute chick on facebook saying she wanted to be my friend. I asked her why she said because she thought i looked cute in my pictures. I told her she wasn't so bad looking and we had a kind of flirty conversation. I did however tell her about my wife and kids and we talked about things like where we live and what not.. noting more than a PG conversation..
IT NEVER WENT ANY FARTHER THAN THIS CONVERSATION AND ONLY ONCE...
So i left my FB page up and my wife snooped and read my messages.. she is now crying..
I do feel bad that she got her feelings hurt, but i don't really feel like i did anything wrong..
Let me know what you guys think about my mess i made... just curious about outside opinions..
Well, just tell her it was a mistake.
You were stupid and just liked the attention. It wasn't like you intended to cheat on her.
Think about how you would feel if you seen her doing that to you.
Nothing will gain you're trust back from her but time...
The above is very good advice.
This seems like a weird place to ask such a question, but what the hell, I'll give it a shot too.
Tell her you love her very much and that you would never, ever cheat on her. You have to be absolutely sincere about this and make yourself believe it even if you actually did think about cheating. Any doubt that you show she will pick up on now.
PS: I've never understood why everyone loves Facebook. I hate that ****.
shawayne21 said:
Well, just tell her it was a mistake.
You were stupid and just liked the attention. It wasn't like you intended to cheat on her.
Think about how you would feel if you seen her doing that to you.
Nothing will gain you're trust back from her but time...
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Thanks. Good advice
Haints said:
The above is very good advice.
This seems like a weird place to ask such a question, but what the hell, I'll give it a shot too.
Tell her you love her very much and that you would never, ever cheat on her. You have to be absolutely sincere about this and make yourself believe it even if you actually did think about cheating. Any doubt that you show she will pick up on now.
PS: Facebook sucks.
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I am sincere. I had no intentions of cheating..
LOL and i know but I am here alot you guys are like family and it seemed like a good place to get non objective view..
Its reasons like that me and my wife share a FB account. Full freaking transparency! Just tell her you got caught up for a minute because we all like to be flattered once in a while. I'm sure she has flirted at some point behind your back.
In times of great personal conflict and inner-turmoil with the ones I love, I also think of turning to an cell-phone internet message board of complete strangers for advice.
badaphooko01 said:
Its reasons like that me and my wife share a FB account. Full freaking transparency! Just tell her you got caught up for a minute because we all like to be flattered once in a while. I'm sure she has flirted at some point behind your back.
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+1 to this. My wife and I share one too and have the privacy set high. We orignally got it to "spy" on people but have since put some stuff on there. Agree also with the "everyone wants to feel special" once in awhile aspect too. I can garauntee that if you try hard enough, you can find some instance that she has flirted too, but why would you want to do that b/c you'll just end up over analyzing everything. Just say you are sorry.
Side story:
A long time ago (15+) before FB, G+ ot twitter, I used to work nights in college. I got home late one night and my girlfriend at the time was asleep. The phone rang and I used to have this habit of screwing with tele-marketers to hopefully piss them off enough to drop my number.
This time it was just a wrong number, but there was a shy, what sounded like a cute voice on the other line that apologized for calling the wrong number. Before she got off the phone, I asked her what she was wearing and messed with her a little bit, then hung up. Told my girlfriend in the morning about it and we laughed (full disclosure-sorry I'm honest like that).
Anyways this girl called back the next night too and this time my girlfriend was up and we totally messed with this girls head and got her to agree to meet for a 3-way (only problem was she didn't know my GF was on the phone so it was going to be with her and her boyfriend-I don't do two swords if you know what I mean).
Long story short, we completely messed with this girl and my phone company at the time had this feature that if right after you got an annoying call you could hit *57 and if you did it to the same number 3 times in one month, it got their phone shut off for a month for harassing.
If you can't or won't follow though woth something, don't chat with someone you don't know. For all you know, it could have been me on the other side of the Facebook message.
PJcastaldo said:
Thanks. Good advice
I am sincere. I had no intentions of cheating..
LOL and i know but I am here alot you guys are like family and it seemed like a good place to get non objective view..
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Yeah man, what you SHOULD do now, dont know if youre willing to do so, but you should just give her your facebook password. If you know youre not going to do anything like that again, she should be able to have it.
It will get a LOADDD off her shoulders knowing she doesnt have to sneak up on you, but rather look for herself at any time.
Hope everything goes well for you man. Just give it time.
FACEBOOK IS FULL OF PEOPLE YOU USED TO KNOW AND DONT WANT TO TALK TO, TWITTER IS FULL OF PEOPLE YOU DONT KNOW AND WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO..IMO,Hope everything works out,
hope everything is working out.
Im just a couple yrs older than you and have have been married about the same time, have 1 child also; so I can understand how this would be a really emotional situation for her and then you.
others gave good advice. be honest w her. tell her it was a mistake. let her look through all your other FB, email, ect... messages to prove to her that this was a one time semi-inocent situation.
even though you did nothing wrong, and maybe you did not, but put yourself in her situation. if you found that on her FB, you would probably be pretty pissed too (at least I would be).
so let her look at everything, give her your passwords, what ever you need to show her that this was a one time incident, that it was nothing more then casual chatting, but you understand that she is upset and you see how it looks now, you would be too in her situation, and that you wont do it again.
good luck
Online cheating is cheating.
I have a different opinion.
I think you should have never added her and never had any type of conversation with her. There is no reason a married man with children should be adding random females to his Facebook.
Secondly, you said you had no intention of cheating, but what about online cheating? What if she had asked you to get on Skype so she could give you a little show. Are you telling me you wouldn't go and watch and maybe join on Skype yourself?
That is my opinion. We live in a new world, and online relationships are a form of cheating in my opinion. You wouldn't sit with this girl at a coffee shop and chit chat, you shouldn't online either.
That's why I'm getting married till I'm like late 20's/early 30's
Hope it works out mate!
Sent from my T959 using xda premium
PJcastaldo said:
So this has absolutely nothing to do with Android or anything...
So me and my wife have been together since freshman year in high school we are now 27.. have a 7 year old and a 1 month old. I love her.. and would never cheat on her..
A week or so ago I got a message from a cute chick on facebook saying she wanted to be my friend. I asked her why she said because she thought i looked cute in my pictures. I told her she wasn't so bad looking and we had a kind of flirty conversation. I did however tell her about my wife and kids and we talked about things like where we live and what not.. noting more than a PG conversation..
IT NEVER WENT ANY FARTHER THAN THIS CONVERSATION AND ONLY ONCE...
So i left my FB page up and my wife snooped and read my messages.. she is now crying..
I do feel bad that she got her feelings hurt, but i don't really feel like i did anything wrong..
Let me know what you guys think about my mess i made... just curious about outside opinions..
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Tell her you love her AND that you were A COMPETE DUMBASS for having a meaningless, stupid convo. Then be good and don't do this AGAIN!
Sent from my HTC Sensation 4G using Tapatalk
One day I was at my girlfriend's house, her hot sister came to me and asked if I would like to sleep with her. I was shocked, and, as fast as I could, ran out of the house to my car. To my surprise my girlfriend was outside leaning against the car. She then said, "I knew I could trust you! ", then gave me a hug and told me she loved me.
Moral of the story?
Always keep your condoms in your car.
Wow, what a mess you've gotten yourself into.
If you haven't already, I think you need to first know and understand why your wife is upset.
After years of marriage, she certainly knows you as a person. If you're the type of person who doesn't cheat, she probably knows it. So it's not really a matter of "cheating".
It's a matter of loyalty and sense of security.
It's inevitable that people change over time. They're older, wiser, have different perspectives, etc. But the one thing that doesn't (ie, shouldn't) change is your commitment to your spouse.
when people first started dating, they think they're the perfect match for each other. After years of marriage you might:
-pack on some extra weight
-lose some hair
-no longer buy flowers for your wife
-no longer put up the toilet seat
-have different political views
-discover both of you have different tastes in music
-etc
But, damn it, she knows that at least she can confidently say "After all this time, my husband still loves me."
And if she has a bad day at work or if she just needs a hug, you're there for her. No matter what, you're suppose to have her back. You're her pillar to lean on. She might not need your support all the time, but she knows that if she does, you're there all the time, rock solid.
That "pillar" is what you've compromised here.
So when trying to make amends, don't focus on the FB chat. That's not the real issue at hand. Do what you need to do to let her know that you're still there for her.
TO YOUR WIFE :
plz forgive him, it's nothing, he's a loving husband if he's asking such a small thing here, that means he loves you alot.
Sent from my X8 using Tapatalk
DevStaffAndroid said:
Sent from my X8 using Tapatalk
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now THATS a helpful answer xD
Sent from my GT-S5570 using XDA App
Me and my GF had a three day fight cause I never changed my Facebook profile from "single" to "in a relationship", and she thinks she had it bad. Of cpurse her drama queen sister conviced her it was so i can cheat. I only log in once or twice a month and never thought to change it.
OP you guys should just delete all your Facebook profiles, its more trouble than it's worth, like the situation you got into.
Facebook is nothing but a gathering for information and statistics anyway.
Simply don't post stuff at all
Related
How many of you here get soo low sometimes you feel like popping your head of? Yeah am that low now. Any bright ideas to get me bubble again, please????
Whoa dude!
remember, after every night there is a morning, Whatever cr*p you have to go through, whatever hurdles you have to jump, trust in yourself.
Best advice I've ever recieved.
If you want someone to listen to all your problems, I'm all ears. Just don't consider rash decisions.....life's waay too precious/
Thanks Buddy
Merlin_reloaded said:
remember, after every night there is a morning, Whatever cr*p you have to go through, whatever hurdles you have to jump, trust in yourself.
Best advice I've ever recieved.
If you want someone to listen to all your problems, I'm all ears. Just don't consider rash decisions.....life's waay too precious/
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What can i say???? Thank you. Simple words but believe me you made me feel alot better. I mean that. Thank you
and
u can also think about people who go through alot more a day then urself. I just joined the Army and just finished basic training 3 weeks ago, and now go to AIT to become a Information Systems Specialist. My schedule is crazy and I barely have time for myself, but I just keep my head up and look to my battle buddies for morale boosts.
Anytime
Glad to be of help/
Think...
Think about the people in life who matter. If they're the problem then think about... your phone.
My best friend completed suicide 4 years ago. It was devastating!!! The fact that you are here asking, is a good thing. I honestly would urge you to call a hotline the next time you get the blues so bad you feel this way. Suicide is a permanant solution to a temporary problem, and those left behind will never understand why...they will always be left with a hole in their hearts. Trust me on this fact. While it often seems as if it is only you, it isn't. I can guarantee that folks care about you, and that you aren't alone...so go to those folks, or as I mentioned before call a hotline. There is a line in Gone With the Wind..."after all, tomorrow is another day"...you make it dark or sunny, hopefully you will choose to make it sunny.
I hope whatever has you down passes quickly.
You know, i can identify with you man... Life gets ****ty and the past 2 months for me have been the worst, and in all honesty i cant say that i havent had the same thoughts... But i could never do it, i have 2 young daughters and 2 young step daughters that i love more than anything... And i hate to sound like i play favorites, but my 2 yr old means more to me than anything and i couldnt imagine possibly leaving her, if there is one thing that brings me back to this world and reality its her... Moral of my story, there has to be something that will center you and bring you back, think about it
Been there bro...
Been there too... 3 and 6 yr old boys and fantastic wife keep me going.
Check out St. Johns Wart. It really helps me out when Im feeling blue and has little side effects. It has been used extensively in Germany and Europe for years.
I agree with everyone else... There is always tomorrow and it will be a better day.
Cheers.
It would also be a good idea for you to start going to the gym.
Weight lifting has helped me trough some bad times in my life.
It's amaizing how much can a little phisical activity help you.
Go and try it, if nothing else you will at least blow off some steam.
moral of the story is find something to do, something to keep your mind busy, tomorrow is a different day, it cant rain all the time
Exercise...
Try a recumbent bike...
http://www.sunbicycles.com/sun/recumbents.htm
Last weekend, while i was at a batchelors party my roomate found it funny to use my user name to create posts. This ended up in me being banned for 7 days and the vulgarity used was very disrespectful to me and this community. He is/was pissed of at me because he hasnt chippd in on rent in about 2 1/2 months so i told him last friday he needed to move. So as i was at the party he used my user name (because cookies enabled im always logged in) and created a new user name using a diffrent broswer. I hope you members can accept my apologie, as im deeply sorry. This was extremely embarrasing to me. And now i have kicked this mother out of my home. again i am deeply sorry for the actions last weekend, and once again i hope you all can forgive the situation. And for reference here is a link to the post i was talking about (CLICK AT YOUR OWN RISK) http://forum.xda-developers.com/showthread.php?t=389943
And again im so so sorry.
don't sweat it man. we all run into people like that who are supposedly our friend's, but reality speak they are nothing more than a bunch of losers.
glad to see u got ur act reinstated.
That was not a good enough punishment. I think you should have to give me your Kasier/tilt/whatever, and that would be a suitable punishment.
thesire said:
don't sweat it man. we all run into people like that who are supposedly our friend's, but reality speak they are nothing more than a bunch of losers.
glad to see u got ur act reinstated.
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i concurr. . pick and choose them wisely.. hopefully this will be an eye opener!
As I previously stated in those threads, I didn't think that was you anyway. Just seemed really out of character to me. Almost child like I thought. No hard feelings here as I didn't think it was you anyway. I couldn't explain the IP similiarities but you just did so in my opinion its the past and there is no need to dwell in the past.
Welcome back.
I really appreciate the support, bad thing is this guy has been a really good friend since college. And ever since he moved in with me its been a nightmare. Well now he had moved in with his parents. I am also filing suit in small claim's to get back rent and utilites that he never paid.
So no tilt for me?
KD8DNS said:
I really appreciate the support, bad thing is this guy has been a really good friend since college. And ever since he moved in with me its been a nightmare. Well now he had moved in with his parents. I am also filing suit in small claim's to get back rent and utilites that he never paid.
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Sometimes its just better to cut your losses and move on.
I too thought it was a little strange to see Banned under your name. I had never seen any wild posts on your part that would have caused it...
Now take that SOB to People's Court so we can all watch him look like a jackass in front of Judge Marilyn Milian.
ChumleyEX said:
That was not a good enough punishment. I think you should have to give me your Kasier/tilt/whatever, and that would be a suitable punishment.
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Yea sure, I work for att so i can hook you up with a tilt (A dummy display)!! ha ha ha ha
Dude!! I was in the same exact situation. I kicked this one guy out, not because of rent, but because of disrespect. He would bring his gf at night and you know what when I was trying to get sleep. I gave the guy consideration to have the place to himself for a few hours. What I did was told him to watch a movie with him and his girlfriend as well as me adn my girlfriend. The movie was called You Me and Dupree (if I got it right) He got the point I was trying to make and at the end of the movie we got in an argument. I won. Yay!
Is it too soon to laugh at this? (Or am I just a bit twisted?).
Still, sorry to here that happen to you mate. Seen it happen on a Wiki I go on and it really pi$$es people off.
Once a vandal created a login of an admin with an i instead of an l in the username, everyone thought the admin had gone nuts. Very funny.
Dave
KD8DNS said:
Yea sure, I work for att so i can hook you up with a tilt (A dummy display)!! ha ha ha ha
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Hmm something to drop infront of a crowed to make them think I broke my preciouseses.. Sounds good to me.
ChumleyEX said:
Hmm something to drop infront of a crowed to make them think I broke my preciouseses.. Sounds good to me.
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p.m. your address to me and ill se what i can do
It all clicks into place now. Yeah I thought the same as P1Tater. You never really attacked the community, but the newbs. Then that day, you got more and more wacky and disrepectful. I thought you had gone off your meds.
BTW, Never become roomates with your buddies, they are always more of a slacker than you expect.
Anyhow, welcome back man.
JimmyMcGee said:
It all clicks into place now. Yeah I thought the same as P1Tater. You never really attacked the community, but the newbs. Then that day, you got more and more wacky and disrepectful. I thought you had gone off your meds.
BTW, Never become roomates with your buddies, they are always more of a slacker than you expect.
Anyhow, welcome back man.
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noo, i still taken my crazy pills, i think anyway. (listen do you hear that) what did you say. huh, your freakin me out. Ohhh what was i talking about
Decent
I think its decent of you to respond the way you did to the community. Given what life throws at us from time to time, it makes things like rubbish video drivers on the Kaiser rather a petty complaint (gritted teeth - gimme decent drivers HTC damn it!).
Bankside said:
I think its decent of you to respond the way you did to the community. Given what life throws at us from time to time, it makes things like rubbish video drivers on the Kaiser rather a petty complaint (gritted teeth - gimme decent drivers HTC damn it!).
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Calm down now Buudy. Take it from me, you are going to get ulcers if you worry about the Video Driver issue. My phone works great. Video could be better but, I live stress free not worrying about it.
Thank you
Just wanted to say thanks to all that realized that the disrespectful posts were not me but a immature arse hole x-roommate. (And today is the day i sue his ass in court) i have printed off the posts he created to use in court to justify his character. Anyway thanks much FRIENDS.
Hey guys I recently forgot to tell you guys that two girls wanted me to ask them out and I lied and told then I was but I never did.
Anyways this girl is out of nowhere beginning to be attractive and really pretty so I told her that I was gonna ask her out!
I think she still likes me so yea oh and did I mention shes white!
Interracial!
Lmao... Sorry, I'm.....I'm gonna get back to this tomorrow... I'm going to sleep haha
-There is a 35% chance that right now I'm on the toilet-
lol , just read the other thread again ... theres alot of knowledge in there , more than enuff
souljaboy said:
lol , just read the other thread again ... theres alot of knowledge in there , more than enuff
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Well, since I'm Chinese, and Chinese medicine likes to hit at the root cause...
Alan, the problem you are facing while 15... well... most of the people here already faced it. At that age, love is a game, and your hormones are affecting you too much for you to be able to react properly.
The Chinese have a saying, "There is no happiness if love is forced" (don't you dare snark me here), so you can't make her like you. If she does, then all is well. If she doesn't... that's too bad for her.
It is vital for you to realize that there are plenty more fishes in the sea. The fields are full of flowers.
sakai4eva's good friend said:
When I was young, I saw a flower. She was the most beautiful flower to me. I stared at this one flower until I failed to notice other flowers in the garden. But this flower was taken by someone else.
Many years later, I came to see this garden again to find this flower. She became like a tree trunk, and the garden became a forest.
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I guess, from my friend's anecdote, it is time to wake up and smell the forest.
Love... well... it is a matter of hit and miss. Fate will always have a hand in your (attempt to find) happiness. Maybe the fate is there, but the time is not right.
Getting a girl to like you will depend on the time frame that you are looking for. ONS will have a vast difference with someone you want to marry. I haven't been 15 for a long time, but back when I was 15, I was stupid, crazy and too courageous for my own good.
I chose to be single, and was glad to remain single for a long time. I flirted with every single pretty girl, and I sowed confusion by throwing gifts at girls whenever I can get away with it. It made me a lot of enemies in the school (That girl is mine, punk! Bla, bla, bla) but it was fun (for me). It got me into a lot of fights too (gangster's chick story another time).
But what was important was that I acted like a [email protected]@rd to the one girl I really liked. We argued a lot and she alluded that she is not ready to be in a relationship with anyone at that age. So I made fun of her, teased her about every single thing, had her chase me for what was the entire school block, etc. Good times...
Anyway, what happened after that was kinda creepy. I found out that she had a crush on me from day one, but didn't dare to admit it (this is Malaysia, after all, what with conservative parents, etc.). She was, ultimately, turned off because I would flirt too much. In the end, she hooked up with another guy (I was kinda proud that I set it up) and everything was history. Or at least geography because I had to move to another state.
So, what I'm trying to say is, just to be yourself and be honest. If she rejects your true and honest qualities, chances are she doesn't really like you. Even if she does like you, not having the chemistry to spark off the romance will simply cause another heartache.
Since you are still young, I really do suggest that you treat it as a game, in that you'll win some, and you'll very likely lose some.
Get her name tattooed across your forehead....
Chicks dig that........
sakai4eva said:
Well, since I'm Chinese, and Chinese medicine likes to hit at the root cause...
Alan, the problem you are facing while 15... well... most of the people here already faced it. At that age, love is a game, and your hormones are affecting you too much for you to be able to react properly.
The Chinese have a saying, "There is no happiness if love is forced" (don't you dare snark me here), so you can't make her like you. If she does, then all is well. If she doesn't... that's too bad for her.
It is vital for you to realize that there are plenty more fishes in the sea. The fields are full of flowers.
I guess, from my friend's anecdote, it is time to wake up and smell the forest.
Love... well... it is a matter of hit and miss. Fate will always have a hand in your (attempt to find) happiness. Maybe the fate is there, but the time is not right.
Getting a girl to like you will depend on the time frame that you are looking for. ONS will have a vast difference with someone you want to marry. I haven't been 15 for a long time, but back when I was 15, I was stupid, crazy and too courageous for my own good.
I chose to be single, and was glad to remain single for a long time. I flirted with every single pretty girl, and I sowed confusion by throwing gifts at girls whenever I can get away with it. It made me a lot of enemies in the school (That girl is mine, punk! Bla, bla, bla) but it was fun (for me). It got me into a lot of fights too (gangster's chick story another time).
But what was important was that I acted like a [email protected]@rd to the one girl I really liked. We argued a lot and she alluded that she is not ready to be in a relationship with anyone at that age. So I made fun of her, teased her about every single thing, had her chase me for what was the entire school block, etc. Good times...
Anyway, what happened after that was kinda creepy. I found out that she had a crush on me from day one, but didn't dare to admit it (this is Malaysia, after all, what with conservative parents, etc.). She was, ultimately, turned off because I would flirt too much. In the end, she hooked up with another guy (I was kinda proud that I set it up) and everything was history. Or at least geography because I had to move to another state.
So, what I'm trying to say is, just to be yourself and be honest. If she rejects your true and honest qualities, chances are she doesn't really like you. Even if she does like you, not having the chemistry to spark off the romance will simply cause another heartache.
Since you are still young, I really do suggest that you treat it as a game, in that you'll win some, and you'll very likely lose some.
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Thanks you!
I'll just then be myself!
Sent from my SGH-T959 using XDA App
Alanrocks15 said:
Sorry for asking just curious
Oh and not to be confused this isn't the other girl from the other thread
I don't talk to her anymore!
Sent from my SGH-T959 using XDA App
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dress up like a twilight character?[/sarcasm]
Nice. And work out Luke Taylor lautner
Sent from my SGH-T959 using XDA App
just be urself.
if she doesnt likes that, shes not worth it.
thats it, and thats all
if u are that crappy that noone likes u, just continue with it, or u wont be happy with the girl
i mean, be urself, or u have to live as someone else forever, and thats not cool
Identify adapt and overcome. Conform to the girl and get laid. Works errytime
Sent from my PC36100 using XDA App
Don't overthink it. First of all don't ever give a girl too much attention, girls are weird and it scares them away. Second, don't give too LITTLE attention because then they just lose interest. Basically give them a few compliments, make them laugh and walk away and make them come back for more. If they start talking to you after the first time you meet them, that's when they are starting to like you, from then on it's just playing it cool and making the right moves at the right time, but don't wait too long because then comes "THE FRIEND ZONEEEEEEEEEEEE"
You have to chill and just have confidence, girls love that. Don't make it too serious, have some fun with it, and do your thing.
LikeAG2 said:
Don't overthink it. First of all don't ever give a girl too much attention, girls are weird and it scares them away. Second, don't give too LITTLE attention because then they just lose interest. Basically give them a few compliments, make them laugh and walk away and make them come back for more. If they start talking to you after the first time you meet them, that's when they are starting to like you, from then on it's just playing it cool and making the right moves at the right time, but don't wait too long because then comes "THE FRIEND ZONEEEEEEEEEEEE"
You have to chill and just have confidence, girls love that. Don't make it too serious, have some fun with it, and do your thing.
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Beg to differ actually. I have a lot of FWBs. They help keep me a float while waiting for my GF to come back
Okay just found out she has a boyfriend
Ahh I have plenty of time
Sent from my SGH-T959 using XDA App
1. Beat up the boyfriend
2. Flirt with her so that the boyfriend beats you up
sakai4eva said:
1. Beat up the boyfriend
2. Flirt with her so that the boyfriend beats you up
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Solved!
Sent from my SGH-T959 using XDA App
I like this thread.
Hmm giggity sense going haywire giggty giggly boo
Sent from my MB611 (Cliq 2)
Alanrocks15 said:
Okay just found out she has a boyfriend
Ahh I have plenty of time
Sent from my SGH-T959 using XDA App
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I'd leave well alone then. You don't want to be stirring another mans porridge!
DirkGently1 said:
I'd leave well alone then. You don't want to be stirring another mans porridge!
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Nope. Doesn't work that way. All my FWBs will beg to differ.
Old adage said:
All's fair in love and war
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sakai4eva said:
All's fair in love and war, but especially when your love is like a battlefield
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just wait for the right moment
Wow, so today I found out that my ex-girlfriend now, been messaging her ex-boyfriend telling him he misses her and loves her and wants to be with him behind my back. Let me remind you that she is pregnant with my kid. I read her google chat log and found out all different kind of messages. I was completely shocked and completely *****ed at her. I told her stup*d as* to pack up her sh!t and get the f*ck out of my house. To think I was going to marry her as*.
Wow that's harsh man. Sorry to hear it. If there was no kid involved I'd say you're lucky to have found out, but that's just wrong on the little one. What a role model Mummy's gonna be
Sorry to hear that also, I think you need to care about your child now. Try not to confront her or him, just don't give a crap for the well being of your child (that needs to be your primary focus from now on).
Cheers man and good luck.
Archer said:
Wow that's harsh man. Sorry to hear it. If there was no kid involved I'd say you're lucky to have found out, but that's just wrong on the little one. What a role model Mummy's gonna be
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Yeah, I really ended up with something huh.. Nice way to start off the New Years.. F*ck that b!tch!
UPDATE: She's calling me telling me sorry and how she doesnt want me to leave.. What a dumb b!tch. Seriously. I told her to get the f*ck out of my life and get her sh!t out. Tired of her bullsh!t.
Mr. Clown said:
Sorry to hear that also, I think you need to care about your child now. Try not to confront her or him, just don't give a crap for the well being of your child (that needs to be your primary focus from now on).
Cheers man and good luck.
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Archer said:
Wow that's harsh man. Sorry to hear it. If there was no kid involved I'd say you're lucky to have found out, but that's just wrong on the little one. What a role model Mummy's gonna be
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Thank you both for hearing me out. Really appreciate the comments. Its good to talk to someone about something awful like this.
Make sure you don't sign that birth certificate until you get DNA confirmation that it's your baby.
I have a friend that got trapped and is paying child support on a child that's not his because he signed (acknowledged) that the child was his.
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Above&Beyond™ said:
Yeah, I really ended up with something huh.. Nice way to start off the New Years.. F*ck that b!tch!
UPDATE: She's calling me telling me sorry and how she doesnt want me to leave.. What a dumb b!tch. Seriously. I told her to get the f*ck out of my life and get her sh!t out. Tired of her bullsh!t.
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That's going to be a hard line to take if she's pregnant with your child... sounds like she might be a part of your life for good now, one way or the other. :/
Still, sorry to hear it bro.
Yeah, it's a tough situation all round. As said above, you are going to be involved in her life now for many, many years, so as Mr Clown said you need to forget your anger towards them because the little one is the most important thing.
Obviously, I agree with Android300ZX that a DNA test is a wise precaution.
Just one pertinent question: Are you sure it's your kid?
One thing to say: She's only sorry because she got caught. Ditch the b*tch bro, plenty of other chicks out there.
also MAKE SURE U RECORD everything when it come time to back what u need ex tv,couch,phone,printer,computer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkt7Dx_uK5Y SHE DA CHEATING HO*
Its cheaper to keep her. Eff child support. My dad had to go through it 7, yes that's right, SEVEN times.
-My life is a shooting range, people never change-
watt9493 said:
Its cheaper to keep her. Eff child support. My dad had to go through it 7, yes that's right, SEVEN times.
-My life is a shooting range, people never change-
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This statement really pisses me off. One of my employees always says it all the time. It is not about what option is less expensive...it is about what makes you both happy.
You both need to have a heart to heart and decide if you want to make things work or if it is best to separate ways. Take it from someone who was married for 6 years with someone who didnt seem like he wanted to be there...in the end, I was tired of being in love with a man that didn't seem to feel the same about me and we were divorced. Now I am a single mom and things are much better off.
Examine your relationship now before you get to involved. Your baby will be best with 2 parents who love each other, rather then 2 parents who only stay together for the kid.
I agree you should catalog everything that you had pre-relationship with her. It's not marriage but things can go south very fast. I also agree with who ever posted about not signing the birth certificate until you know 110% sure that the baby is yours. I had a girlfriend who was messing around with other guys behind my back when she got pregnant (found that out after we went through everything). Good luck bro
Damn... Sorry to hear that bro
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Hey man, altough you think this is the end of the world, it isn´t. Let your friends and family comfort you, that life goes on.
That will be a prolonged pain. Find time to spend totally away from her to heal.
I'm gonna go back on what I previously said, after thinking about it some more. We've all made mistakes - I've made tons of them! If you care enough about the girl to be planning a family and marriage with her then maybe it's worth at least seeing what happens.
It's easy for someone not in the situation to knee-jerk but what do we know about how you two really feel about each other? Nothing.
Just use this place to vent and see our responses, then ignore them all completely and do what's best for you, your misses and the little one. Just be honest and you can't go wrong.
I usually don't repeat myself but:
-Make sure you get a DNA test!
-A lot of females use that (I'm pregnant) against a guy to keep him. It may very well be true but be careful.
-Record everything! Make a backup on Gmail. I would use Google Voice and have Google Voice be your primary voicemail. If she calls you and leaves a voicemail it will get saved to Google Voice where you can download it to your desktop and keep it on file.
-Take most if not all the things she says to you with a grain of salt.
-Make sure you don't end up looking like the deadbeat that just picked up and left. They tend to make themselves look like the victim to their friends and family.
-If the child is yours take care of your business and appreciate them because they are pure.
-If you find it in your heart to forgive her make sure you really forgive her and not bring it up when you get into the occasional argument.
I have experience in this. My GF cheated on me twice. The first time she would go out with her "girls" (multiple instances of partying with her "girls" and coming back late in the AM) and I found out she was going out with a guy that I knew who was in our circle of friends. She would cut school and hang out with this guy all the while I was paying for her education. She doesn't work or hasn't in the 4 years we've been together because I took care of everything as a man. The second time I caught her was on her birthday when I came home early (unannounced) from work to surprise her and caught her leaving the neighbors house and overheard her on the phone discussing the events with her BFF. I couldn't forgive her because the thought of me seeing this guy's car every day and the fact that I know he's be laughing at me from behind the confines of his home taking me for a sucker. The only reason I haven't pummeled his face in is because of my daughter.
I have a kid with her and I still live with her but we are only together for the sake of my daughter. She graduates this month from school and will get a job in her field so we will sit down and discuss our arrangements and separation.
Just make sure you cover all your bases man.
*** Again, Do the DNA test!! Don't fall for that guilt trip she may put on your about you denying your child and not trusting her ***
They will use that against you and make you succumb to signing the certificate.
Hang in there man, it's tough. I think that you best pursue what's going to be the best for your son or daughter.
There is a test they can do for paternity during gestation, it determines gender among other things of the child, mostly done for at risk older mothers.
If in the end you find you are a father, ill tell you first hand (literally holding my Lil guy) its a feeling like no other. You've got to do what's best for your own, which will likely be to split. Your gf likely grew up on a household with a limited example of a father figure, and you certainly don't want your own kid to turn into the same type of person as her.
Yeah, DNA test seems good suggestion. Make sure wich base it came from. Also maybe ask for a ETA.
Oké, now go to Dr Phill or Jerry Springer. Last time i checked it was a technical forum.
Cheers
that my wife is having an affair. I can't tell my family, friends, or co-workers because they all know her and I'm trying to keep things normal for my kids. So I thought I would tell a bunch of near-strangers instead because I have to tell SOMEBODY! I'm ok, not going to do anything crazy or stupid, I just wanted to get it off my chest.
You should get her drunk and drop her off in the ghetto
austontatious said:
that my wife is having an affair. I can't tell my family, friends, or co-workers because they all know her and I'm trying to keep things normal for my kids. So I thought I would tell a bunch of near-strangers instead because I have to tell SOMEBODY! I'm ok, not going to do anything crazy or stupid, I just wanted to get it off my chest.
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hmm that really sucks man...
when are you going to tell her? eventually you have to...
dont do strange things , keep it up mate
Sometimes doing the right thing, is the hardest thing.
Stuff like this would me up from the inside, i respect people who take the well being of their family over themselves.
Keep strong man, dont let **** like this bring you down
Nexus s
iPad 3rd gen
And dont forget her to show where her stuff and bags are.. when you showed her that, show her where the door is.
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Are you 100 percent sure. This is some serious ****.
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Wrong forum I know, but i'm sorry to hear about your wife. Are you absolutely sure? Someone close to me told his best friend his girl was cheating (lie) so he could be the one to comfort her and become her new guy...it worked. Be sure...btw do you still love her?
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Naw, I'm sure. I don't normally do this, but I felt like something was up, so I snooped her FB. Found a convo between her and this guy talking about their feelings for each other. She might not be banging him, but feelings are maybe worse.
I couldn't ever let my kids know anything - my parents used me and my sisters as weapons in their divorce, I won't do it.
I believe that you have to take some ownership if your significant other cheats - People cheat because they have a need that isn't being met. So I take some responsibility. It still feels a little like being punched in the stomach.
austontatious said:
Naw, I'm sure. I don't normally do this, but I felt like something was up, so I snooped her FB. Found a convo between her and this guy talking about their feelings for each other. She might not be banging him, but feelings are maybe worse.
I couldn't ever let my kids know anything - my parents used me and my sisters as weapons in their divorce, I won't do it.
I believe that you have to take some ownership if your significant other cheats - People cheat because they have a need that isn't being met. So I take some responsibility. It still feels a little like being punched in the stomach.
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"People cheat because they have a need that isnt being met" --> i completely agree with that!
You gotta talk it out.. and yess. The 2nd option is to show her the door..
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It wasn't me
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austontatious said:
Naw, I'm sure. I don't normally do this, but I felt like something was up, so I snooped her FB. Found a convo between her and this guy talking about their feelings for each other. She might not be banging him, but feelings are maybe worse.
I couldn't ever let my kids know anything - my parents used me and my sisters as weapons in their divorce, I won't do it.
I believe that you have to take some ownership if your significant other cheats - People cheat because they have a need that isn't being met. So I take some responsibility. It still feels a little like being punched in the stomach.
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Yes people do cheat cause they are missing something from the relationship, but that isn't your fault. If there was something wrong with your relationship it was both duty to sit and talk about it or maybe search for council. If there wasn't nothing wrong with the two of you, then it's her entire fault, and once again she had the duty to sit and talk with you about it.
And piece of advice, don't just patronize cause of the kids, it will be mush worse. Go to her, talk with her and explain what you just found out. After that both of you make a decision. In case of divorce, at least try to make it the most friendly as possible...
I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through...
I'm a very jealous man and even non issue things drive me insane.
Obviously you can't deal and live with her doing this and be a normal family forever... Take it one day at a time and think it through.
Maybe go see a Counselor or something to talk, many local counties have a department of health and human services where most services are free or low cost where they don't charge you to start and bill you according to your income.
It's very private and uplifting.
. I used them for aoda for some personal issues I had. If you need anyone to talk to, you can pm me.
Also if you have some type of cash or homes /property, please start checking out divorce attorneys and only attorneys that specialize in divorce, preferably a male firm.
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Also I found some things my gf lied to me about to my face multiple times about her past in her Facebook and when confronted months later after a long night together at the bar she still denied it until I said I saw it in her Facebook and the next thing was why are you going through my **** lol
It shouldn't of been a issue because it was her past but I knew she was lying and that was my issue.
Anyways sadly Facebook and other social networking is making this type of behavior easier.
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austontatious said:
Naw, I'm sure. I don't normally do this, but I felt like something was up, so I snooped her FB. Found a convo between her and this guy talking about their feelings for each other. She might not be banging him, but feelings are maybe worse.
I couldn't ever let my kids know anything - my parents used me and my sisters as weapons in their divorce, I won't do it.
I believe that you have to take some ownership if your significant other cheats - People cheat because they have a need that isn't being met. So I take some responsibility. It still feels a little like being punched in the stomach.
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their was a guy in Michigan who logged into his wifes email and found she was cheating on him... He was later arrested and charged... see this... he now faces 5 years and a felony so he may not be ever able to work again as felons are usually unable to get work.
http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/appeals-court-rules-husband-can-be-charged-criminally-for-reading-wifes-email/
---------- Post added at 04:00 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:57 AM ----------
dpeeps74 said:
It wasn't me
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http://youtu.be/cQ4axo9rmJY
also in some states like Indiana and Colorado adultery is illegal
On the books
Excerpts from state adultery laws:
South Carolina: “Any man or woman who shall be guilty of the crime of adultery or fornication shall be liable to indictment and, on conviction, shall be severally punished by a fine of not less than $100 nor more than $500 or imprisonment for not less than six months nor more than one year or by both fine and imprisonment, at the discretion of the court. ...‘Adultery’ is the living together and carnal intercourse with each other or habitual carnal intercourse with each other without living together of a man and woman when either is lawfully married to some other person.”
Minnesota: “When a married woman has sexual intercourse with a man other than her husband, whether married or not, both are guilty of adultery and may be sentenced to imprisonment for not more than one year or to payment of a fine of not more than $3,000, or both.”
North Carolina: “Fornication and adultery. If any man and woman, not being married to each other, shall lewdly and lasciviously associate, bed and cohabit together, they shall be guilty of a Class 2 misdemeanor: Provided, that the admissions or confessions of one shall not be received in evidence against the other.”
New Hampshire: “A person is guilty of a class B misdemeanor if, being a married person, he engages in sexual intercourse with another not his spouse or, being unmarried, engages in sexual intercourse with another known by him to be married.”
Google_Nexus said:
their was a guy in Michigan who logged into his wifes email and found she was cheating on him... He was later arrested and charged... see this...
http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/ap...e-charged-criminally-for-reading-wifes-email/
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The laws differ in each state and it's a real Grey area.
How do we know she didn't leave her fb open?
Some states allow call recording in court with only one party knowing.
. I believe in a relationship, let alone marriage, that everything should be open, accessible and on the table. but everyone is different.
. I personally would start some spy stuff. There are apps in the play store that secretly install and forward all texts received and sent and if it's your bill and your name on the account its legal.
It's your life and future, along with your children's lives at stake.
Need more information pm me for the app names.
Gps trackers are small and magnetic and are easily hidden.
If it's your car It's also legal.
It's your life.
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Sensitive guy strikes again. These online douchebags talk to and act like they care about ur wife's feelings, then talk em into some crazy affair. Then leaves her high n dry and she realizes she should be with you, for the kids. Put her out, dude, there's tons more that value family and true love more than she apparently does. Hasn't happened to me, but ive had some friends fall prey to "sensitive guy". But, you cant just blame him cud it takes em both to start it. Put her out while u still have some sanity. You'll feel great about it.
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mangohorse said:
Sensitive guy strikes again. These online douchebags talk to and act like they care about ur wife's feelings, then talk em into some crazy affair. Then leaves her high n dry and she realizes she should be with you, for the kids. Put her out, dude, there's tons more that value family and true love more than she apparently does. Hasn't happened to me, but ive had some friends fall prey to "sensitive guy". But, you cant just blame him cud it takes em both to start it. Put her out while u still have some sanity. You'll feel great about it.
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,, I also to fell prey to the quote unquote sensitive guy with my ex 4 years when we were having problems he would swoop in and act like he was caring, listening and whatever. She left and moved out of my place, when she tried to come back and I wasn't having it she was devastated, but I told her now she knew how I felt that entire week and what I did wrong, but it was nothing about me. What goes around comes back around.
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Things are not so easy as you guys put it. Yes it's a ****ed up situation, yes he has all rights to feel bad about it, but by no means he should loose his temper.
If it was me, I would pickup my things and move to a motel our something like that followed by an attorney visit to take care of the divorce. Thing is, there's kids involved, kids that I'm sure he loves. He must do things right to get the best for him and for his kids.
It's easy to talk when we are single, cause we can do pretty much what we want and send the consequences to the hell, not so much when we are married
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That really sucks man... just talk to her ask her what she want being with you...if her answer is negative better of divorcing her and find another wife that will love you and your children..
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DeuXGod said:
Things are not so easy as you guys put it. Yes it's a ****ed up situation, yes he has all rights to feel bad about it, but by no means he should loose his temper.
If it was me, I would pickup my things and move to a motel our something like that followed by an attorney visit to take care of the divorce. Thing is, there's kids involved, kids that I'm sure he loves. He must do things right to get the best for him and for his kids.
It's easy to talk when we are single, cause we can do pretty much what we want and send the consequences to the hell, not so much when we are married
Sent from my
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Yeah I definitely didn't say to do anything related to revenge or anger.
Just advised that he should get more proof and be 150% sure before he says anything. Then if is true, then go get that attorney to get all your affairs in order before the confrontation.
Also OP, I know this is none of our business, but has your relationship with her changed at all recently or anything? What about sex life? Is it the same? Worse?
Is she going out more, working "longer hours", or just acting suspicious?
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