Database Develop

Stupidest Tech Questions You've Ever Been Asked.

Ok, so chances are you're on this Site a lot. If you're like me, you're the house's free tech service for everything that has a switch, cord or wire.
And we all know we've been asked some pretty stupid questions. So why not have a good laugh about it rather than strangle the person who did it?
After you're out of real ones, if you have to feel free to make them up. Just make sure they're in the field of realism.
For example: no "How do you plug the computer in?" to get the most attention. (unless of course someone actually did ask you that and by all means feel free to say it.)
I'll go first because, well no one else has a choice I'm going first.
Earlier this year my sister asked me "How do you use iTunes?" and later... "How do I sync my iPod?"
(yes I understand that doesn't really seem to be in the bounds of realism, but I'm serious! It happened!)
So go ahead, think you can beat me with a dumber family member or friend?
Edit: Also, if you happen to be knowledgeable on the forums or you've seen people post this on forums, feel free to post those too.
No names please.

its not tech question but its funny....
i had saw a guy(troll) on a forum asking how to register!
looooooooooooooool

"How do I turn on the dvd player?" -my mom
Sent from my SPH-D710 using Tapatalk
Click here for custom mods for your E4GT

Is the iPhone better than your phone?
Sent from my jelly bean

How can I shutdown my PC? -my health education teacher (he really said that)

iok1 said:
Is the iPhone better than your phone?
Sent from my jelly bean
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Yup, I hear this frequently.

So can't you just Photoshop the video to be HD?

"My laptop just died and I had it plugged in you need to fix it." - Random stupid officer
*I check the power cable, sure enough it's plugged into the back of the laptop...just not the wall. I plug it into the wall and turn the laptop back on.*
"Sir, you have to actually plug the cable into the wall, not just the back of the computer." - Me
Yep, officers are the ones with the college education but they are easily the stupidest people in the military.

So all these programs that are popping up and asking me to update them (Adobe flash, btw).... are they free? Do I have to pay?!!

Hahahaha this awesome. It turns out I'm not he only one with stupid people in my life. :angel:

How do I turn off the YouTube?
Sent from my GT-I9000 using xda premium

Came in just today: i don't need the pc to connect my router to my modem, right??
i can post the ss of that sms if you need proof.
Sent from my rooted tomato using xda app

This happened a couple of years ago. A friend of mine (blond female, 18)
F = Friend
M = Me
(MSN conversation)
F - How do i (something, can't remember)
M - Open your browser.
F - What's that?
M - It's your internet browser
F - Internet browser?
M - Yes
F - Where do i find that?
M - Fine, open Internet Explorer
F - I've opened Google. Where do i find Internet Explorer?
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My mother said to me after I got my galaxy s2:
Is that an iphone?
I said: no
She said: what is it then?
I said: it is a smart phone
She said: so it's a iphone then,
I said: no the iphone is made by apple, this is made by Samsung,
She said: what's Samsung,
I said: it is a company which doesn't make the iphone,
She said: oh f*** this, if you can't explain anything, I am not going to listen.
This is true lol
Corey
Sent from my GT-I9100 using xda premium
---------- Post added at 02:02 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:01 AM ----------
My mother said to me after I got my galaxy s2:
Is that an iphone?
I said: no
She said: what is it then?
I said: it is a smart phone
She said: so it's a iphone then,
I said: no the iphone is made by apple, this is made by Samsung,
She said: what's Samsung,
I said: it is a company which doesn't make the iphone,
She said: oh f*** this, if you can't explain anything, I am not going to listen.
This is true lol
Corey
Sent from my GT-I9100 using xda premium

Well, my mom asked me, where she can find her wireless cable.
Another time, my grandpa wanted to know where his bluetooth cable is and I was like, go search it in the instructions, maybe you will find it. Good Luck.

"How do I turn off Caps Lock?"
"Does your Samsung phone have iOS?"
"Where is the wireless cable?"
Is there a difference between windows and mac?"
Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk 2

How to move the pointer on desktop?
Sent from my Galaxy Tab (CM10) using xda premium

apparently, people call technology support lines, and say "where is the any key"
A funny video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eL_yw_rwec&playnext=1&list=PL4153AF46EADC4DB3&feature=results_video
Watch it, its really funny.

A call from my mother.
Mom: Why won't computer turn on? Can you come over and take a look at it?
I drove 5 miles to her house.
Me: (Took a look at it and saw she had it unplugged. I plugged it back in, turned it on, said nothing, and walked out. *Sigh* )
When it comes to PC matters, she doesn't like to problem solve on her own sometimes.

*official*confession

I hope this is not around here already...... Any ways I did something bad and i don't know what to do...... Some few mounths ago I asked my Dad to get me a note 2... After weeks of pestering, he kept on saying I should be patient..... Thinking He was going to get it on my birthday which was last month I gave him a brief break. On my birthday no Note 2 then the devil in me gave me an idea..... I called my aunt, told her i needed a note 2 for school. When she asked if I had told my dad, I said i did but he refused telling me i just wanted to waste money(a lie I should have never said .... :'( ).... She got it for me a few weeks later..... As happy as i was, I could not let my dad see it cos i knew what will follow..... On Christmas day my dad came to my room and gave me my"Xmas box" I opened it up, and a note 2 was in.. He smiled to me and said merry Christmas buddy...... From my reaction he knew there was something wrong but I won't tell him..... He went ahead to apologies for the delay saying he wanted to surprise me ..... Now i know my aunt might come visit us on new year's day, and even if she doesn't she will surely tell my dad she bought me a note 2 and if she doesn't my dad might mention it to her one day . Now here I am, feeling like a greedy, lying a**hole..... Feeling bad with 2 note 2 phones on me..... How do i tell my dad what i did and how do I explain stuff to my aunt..... How do i say i lied and which should i return..... One thing I know for sure is my whole family will have a bad perception of me from now
Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using xda premium

This thread was around here, mods killed thread due to bad people, this thread will probably also be killed.

Kill it with fire? Or a lock?

Babydoll25 said:
Kill it with fire? Or a lock?
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Lock it with fire?

Babydoll25 said:
Kill it with fire? Or a lock?
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Kill it with lock?

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Sent from my Kindle Fire running CM10

Hit it with a brick?

Lol. OP wants easy way out! Sweat boy sweat. You'll think twice next time about deceiving loved ones for your petty greed!
Sent from my Kindle Fire running CM10

85gallon said:
Lol. OP wants easy way out! Sweat boy sweat. You'll think twice next time about deceiving loved ones for your petty greed!
Sent from my Kindle Fire running CM10
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Hit OP with a brick?

All of us get greedy at times...
Let he (or she) who has committed no sins throw the first brick.
Not passing judgement.

*throws*
Sent from my HTC One V using xda premium

SleepyKrushna said:
All of us get greedy at times...
Let he (or she) who has committed no sins throw the first brick.
Not passing judgement.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Fine. I'll hit you with one

lars1216 said:
*throws*
Sent from my HTC One V using xda premium
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
---------- Post added at 11:52 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:51 PM ----------
Babydoll25 said:
Fine. I'll hit you with one
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
*ducks*
You miss...

Some of my best life lessons were learned sweating stuff like this. then you learn to avoid situations that put you in this position.
OP, honesty is the best policy. And it will be better if you own up(before being found out) and take the punishment rather than stand by and get caught!! Trust me.

Pee on it. With flaming bricks.
-Easier than it sounds, harder than it looks.-

85gallon said:
Some of my best life lessons were learned sweating stuff like this. then you learn to avoid situations that put you in this position.
OP, honesty is the best policy. And it will be better if you own up(before being found out) and take the punishment rather than stand by and get caught!! Trust me.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
+1
They will find out eventually. Best is to tell them. They will be mad when you tell them, but it will be worse if you don't.
Sent from a dream.

Burn it with killing fire brick pee!

StormMcCloud said:
Burn it with killing fire brick pee!
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Apply burning brick pee to the burn, err whatever...
-Easier than it sounds, harder than it looks.-

Another confessions thread?
a.k.a. Josepho1997

What's the point in putting "official" in the OPs? What's official here?
I presume that's gonna fetch a bunch of more people to check the thread out?!

[TIP] Better colour with flash photos.

Hey all, this isn't a mind blowing tip, it's just something easily overlooked. Forgive me if it's been covered but i could not find it.
When taking photos with flash I found under my tungsten light source that everything had a blue tint to it.
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This I found results from the phone incorrectly detecting the white balance.
It is easily fixed by pressing the picture button and holding it while your phone focuses and measures the shot. Then a second later release it and the results are a marked difference.
To those using any camera with a half and full press button this isn't a large surprise but with the trend to simple tap on smartphones I find this easily overlooked.
Thanks
Sent from my Nexus 4 using xda app-developers app

Here you go my friend its been discussed long time ago and also its kind of obvious well at least for me:
http://forum.xda-developers.com/showthread.php?t=2176601
Hope you will find more tips in existing thread.
I actually think there's existing almost every thread for anything that you can think of
Sent from my Nexus 4 using xda app-developers app

Please post something other than your dogs testicles next time
Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk 4 Beta

gie62001 said:
Here you go my friend its been discussed long time ago and also its kind of obvious well at least for me:
http://forum.xda-developers.com/showthread.php?t=2176601
Hope you will find more tips in existing thread.
I actually think there's existing almost every thread for anything that you can think of
Sent from my Nexus 4 using xda app-developers app
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
II know its sad i arrived rather late to the show. Playing catch up on such an active device forum is madness
oSandmaNo said:
Please post something other than your dogs testicles next time
Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk 4 Beta
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
If he would be so kind as to show me something besides his testicles next time

How intriguing to see a picture of your dog's bullocks, first thing in the morning.
Sent from my Nexus 4

Lol i dunno if i should take this tip seriously ?? its useful though.

I will have to give this a try. Thanks for the heads up.

drawkcaB said:
Hey all, this isn't a mind blowing tip, it's just something easily overlooked. Forgive me if it's been covered but i could not find it.
When taking photos with flash I found under my tungsten light source that everything had a blue tint to it.
View attachment 2087850
This I found results from the phone incorrectly detecting the white balance.
It is easily fixed by pressing the picture button and holding it while your phone focuses and measures the shot. Then a second later release it and the results are a marked difference.
View attachment 2087856
To those using any camera with a half and full press button this isn't a large surprise but with the trend to simple tap on smartphones I find this easily overlooked.
Thanks
Sent from my Nexus 4 using xda app-developers app
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
First of cute dog, and this is news to me just got a N4 loving it. Also, what kinda pit is that? He looks adorable I have a mastiff/american pit mix, but bigger testies lol.

Fairlady-Z said:
First of cute dog, and this is news to me just got a N4 loving it. Also, what kinda pit is that? He looks adorable I have a mastiff/american pit mix, but bigger testies lol.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
He's a street dog. Someone found him as a pup in the rain and put him online. He's pretty mixed as a breed but has some hound in him. And much smaller than a mastiff :cyclops:
I didnt know about the hold focus either. I felt it wasnt obvious because the N4 unlike htc's and iphones doesnt do an instant photo. it does the shenanigan of focusing with the ring and all the jazz so one would assume it would measure its white balance then. Anyway you live and you learn

I will have to give this a try. Thanks for the heads up.

drawkcaB said:
He's a street dog. Someone found him as a pup in the rain and put him online. He's pretty mixed as a breed but has some hound in him. And much smaller than a mastiff :cyclops:
I didnt know about the hold focus either. I felt it wasnt obvious because the N4 unlike htc's and iphones doesnt do an instant photo. it does the shenanigan of focusing with the ring and all the jazz so one would assume it would measure its white balance then. Anyway you live and you learn
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Oh just like the video says I am a total noob when it comes to android phones. I have always had iPhones from the first one to 5, and after it broke I thought I mix it up and got a lumia 920 (terrible experience I had no clue what I was doing) and that bought the Nexus 4. I got to say there is a whole lot of little tricks such as this which is great, so thanks again for posting.

Fairlady-Z said:
Oh just like the video says I am a total noob when it comes to android phones. I have always had iPhones from the first one to 5, and after it broke I thought I mix it up and got a lumia 920 (terrible experience I had no clue what I was doing) and that bought the Nexus 4. I got to say there is a whole lot of little tricks such as this which is great, so thanks again for posting.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Welcome to the droid community. Once you get sucked in its hard to go back. I try using the i5 now and then. The lack of a back button and my app settings within a separate settings app really bug me.

Any ideas on how to get the money for the N5?

Hey all, I love my N4, but seeing everyone in the android communities with the nexus 5 makes me cry inside, so I wanted to get one. Problem is, I'm 14 which is below the legal age to work, I root/flash/unlock/etc. peoples phones off craigslist, but that isn't too efficient as I get about $40 a week from that IF THAT, and $40 a month goes to my servers, any ideas on how I can make money? Preferably online as I go to school and I can't really do as many things during the day. I know Java, HTML, CSS, a LITTLE JavaScript, Python, C++, and some Lua. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know. Thanks all! <3
Sent from my Nexus 4 using XDA Premium 4 mobile app
Mod edit: Not really what xda is for....thread closed

Well first, I think this is the wrong forum. Might want to post in Q&A. Secondly, my advice as a guy who has experienced the same phone envy as you is to be patient, save up, and wait for the Nexus 6 to come out and get that. It'll hand better battery life, and you're not making a huge step up. I've tried it out, it's not worth the upgrade if you're strapped for cash.
IF you're still interested in a Nexus 5 in spite of all these discouragements, then my advice is this. Sell your phone, which should net you at least half the value (more if you're crafty) of the Nexus 5, and do some phone repair. With the addition of phone repair, which could give you, say, $80/week or every two weeks, within a month you'll have the proper funds. If you sell your phone, get a dumb phone in the meantime. I'll donate one of my old ones to you for free if you want.
Shovel snow, mow lawns, work your ass off doing odd jobs going door to door until you get that phone (wash windows, teach elderly how to use a computer or tablet, walk dogs). You'll be a better man for it and it'll build up that work ethic. Honestly when I was younger I walked rich people's dogs and made a ton of money, helped me save up for a car.
Sent from my Nexus 4 using xda app-developers app

Tanmaynarang said:
Hey all, I love my N4, but seeing everyone in the android communities with the nexus 5 makes me cry inside, so I wanted to get one. Problem is, I'm 14 which is below the legal age to work, I root/flash/unlock/etc. peoples phones off craigslist, but that isn't too efficient as I get about $40 a week from that IF THAT, and $40 a month goes to my servers, any ideas on how I can make money? Preferably online as I go to school and I can't really do as many things during the day. I know Java, HTML, CSS, a LITTLE JavaScript, Python, C++, and some Lua. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know. Thanks all! <3
Sent from my Nexus 4 using XDA Premium 4 mobile app
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
I would say find a part time job with at least 10-18 hours per week, in one or two month (depends upon salary) u'll be able to buy nexus 5 without even selling nexus 4.

Sell it
sell it ? go cex? cashy g?

benjamun19911 said:
sell it ? go cex? cashy g?
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Make your first ten posts meaningful by preferably answering questions in a Q&A forum or doing concise responds in a general forum?
Sent from my GT-I9505G using Tapatalk

how good is your PC? You could set it up as a bit coin Miner, mine a s##tload of bit coins and sell them for a profit?
Sent from my HTC Sensation using Tapatalk

Yeah, i'm a massive douche, OP
http://forum.xda-developers.com/showthread.php?t=2609916

LordManhattan said:
Yeah, i'm a massive douche, OP
http://forum.xda-developers.com/showthread.php?t=2609916
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Hahahahahaha
Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk

LordManhattan said:
Yeah, i'm a massive douche, OP
http://forum.xda-developers.com/showthread.php?t=2609916
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Click to collapse
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Sent from my Nexus 7 2013 edition.

Break Phone In Anger Because Of ROM

If you like talking about breaking your phones because pissed of by rom , This is the right place...
This thread is created by request of nick37332001
http://forum.xda-developers.com/showpost.php?p=50805671&postcount=3363
Feel free to share your experiences (smashing on the floor after several reboot, plunged in acid, and so on...)

I bricked my iPhone 3g and I threw it out the window
Sent from tapatalk using my C2105

In my personal opinion people who wretch anger because their ROM doesn't work properly needs anger management issues.
[A gorilla dies for every smartphone.
Stop using gorilla glass and save planet earth]

Not because of my rom though. Im now gonna throw this s*it because of that idiot bird. Yes the flappy bird. And then imma blame my rom for this so yeahhh.
Sent from my GT-I8160 using xda app-developers app

Lol this considered off topic ???
A Samsung Galaxy ace 2 (GT-I8160) User
Other devices: iPod Touch 5G, Ainol Novo 7 ELF, Sony Vaio PC VPCEH38FG

Thank you Nick for this idea of such an off-topic
One day, I was so angry with my defy+ with wiui (but same with cm7) that I threw it on the floor.
The gorilla glass was strong enough but the lcd panel broke inside...
I repair it, put stock rom on it and it is working nice !
And yes, it's bad, those things costs money... Now I prefer to take a deep breath before becoming mad.

These kind of threads are useless. Why the hell u would throw a expensive phone because of a crap rom. My advice for those idiots(no offense) is to see the reviews and the thread before installing the rom.
It's going to be LEGEND--wait for it--DARY!!!-Barney Stinson(How I Met Your Mother)

RIP phone

Please, do not harm an innocent phone. Next time you feel the anger swelling due to a bad ROM, simply put the phone down and send it to me. I'll give it the peaceful home it deserves.
Sent from my GT-I9505G using Tapatalk

Instead of breaking your phone, how about you put it down and go release that anger on killing noobs in a video game or something.

LoopDoGG79 said:
Please, do not harm an innocent phone. Next time you feel the anger swelling due to a bad ROM, simply put the phone down and send it to me. I'll give it the peaceful home it deserves.
Sent from my GT-I9505G using Tapatalk
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Hahaha xD
Sent from my GT-I8160 using xda app-developers app

I once punched my phone screen for losing a game I was playing due to a crappy ROM freezing up the phone. Luckily I didn't have gorilla knuckles.
Sent from my Nexus 5 using XDA Premium 4 mobile app

The only phone I've broken in anger was when I was 14 or 15 and snapped my $1200 Motorola Wings (V50) in half. I can't remember why I did it, but I still have it somewhere.
Yes, spoiled as ****.
Sent from my C6806_GPe using Tapatalk

my phone bricked
so i went into best buy and pretended like i was checking out phones
but i just pushed really hard on them until they craked on the back or side.
thats what u get brick phone
WATUP?!?!
then i flew to space and made a new phone with my imagination
:silly:

tacotester1 said:
then i flew to space and made a new phone with my imagination
:silly:
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LordManhattan said:
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Yep!
outchea bra!

I once had to calibrated the rom on my Gnex with asphalt ,REMEMBER if your try this the key is to drop it from a height of 4ft any higher or lower will result incorrect calibration and will brick your device. also it is recommended clean the system partition prior to the asphalt calib., I suggest using warm water not hot and normal dish detergent, use your favorite brand is fine.:silly::highfive:

SacredMyths said:
Instead of breaking your phone, how about you put it down and go release that anger on killing noobs in a video game or something.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
+1

next time breaking it send it to me,ok.killing is in no way better than giving

brick or break??
i dropped my phone 20times+ but no breaking