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here is my situation. my home has been foreclosed on, im filing for bankruptcy. i am injured and so have no money to find a new place. this injury id the reason i lost my house.
i have two kids, one is five and the other is five months old. i cant drag them down with me. i gotta be outta the hous by october 15th, and i just dont know where to go!!! i am trying so much but with no luck. i tryied to go back to work, but that only made my injury worse. i have a ruptured disk, i think some peolpe out ther can relate to me on how that feels.
my five year old boy is in kindergarden and the school i have him enrolled in is FAR better than the one i was blessed with.
i payed a company to assist with my home, boy did that back fire on me they said that they would save my home and get me a new loan, i payed them the rest of the money we had, $4800. they turned out to be a scam. i always read about people who get scammed and i always said, "idiots" well noe here i am. what goes around comes around. and boy did it ever.
i am 22 years old and i am surrounded by debt. i dont have that much time, is there anything i can do? im having illegal thoughts that i know im capable of, but surley dont wanna to that. please someone help me to through this very rough time.
Pray, If you aren't a member of a church i suggest you find one and talk to the pastor or priest, maybe he will know some way to help.
good luck
Whilst I do not doubt that there is someone on this forum who can help you, I suggest that you seek professional help. As stated above, speak to a preist or someone who works for your Local Authority (or Council or whatever they are called over in America).
Are there any charities that operate in the area that can assist?
I understand that this is an outlet for you and that you can open up here, but I think there are better suited people, than a collection of phone geeks. Please don't take this the wrong way, I am concerned and would like nothing more than to hear that you are back on track.
All the best
Dave
So this has absolutely nothing to do with Android or anything...
So me and my wife have been together since freshman year in high school we are now 27.. have a 7 year old and a 1 month old. I love her.. and would never cheat on her..
A week or so ago I got a message from a cute chick on facebook saying she wanted to be my friend. I asked her why she said because she thought i looked cute in my pictures. I told her she wasn't so bad looking and we had a kind of flirty conversation. I did however tell her about my wife and kids and we talked about things like where we live and what not.. noting more than a PG conversation..
IT NEVER WENT ANY FARTHER THAN THIS CONVERSATION AND ONLY ONCE...
So i left my FB page up and my wife snooped and read my messages.. she is now crying..
I do feel bad that she got her feelings hurt, but i don't really feel like i did anything wrong..
Let me know what you guys think about my mess i made... just curious about outside opinions..
Well, just tell her it was a mistake.
You were stupid and just liked the attention. It wasn't like you intended to cheat on her.
Think about how you would feel if you seen her doing that to you.
Nothing will gain you're trust back from her but time...
The above is very good advice.
This seems like a weird place to ask such a question, but what the hell, I'll give it a shot too.
Tell her you love her very much and that you would never, ever cheat on her. You have to be absolutely sincere about this and make yourself believe it even if you actually did think about cheating. Any doubt that you show she will pick up on now.
PS: I've never understood why everyone loves Facebook. I hate that ****.
shawayne21 said:
Well, just tell her it was a mistake.
You were stupid and just liked the attention. It wasn't like you intended to cheat on her.
Think about how you would feel if you seen her doing that to you.
Nothing will gain you're trust back from her but time...
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Thanks. Good advice
Haints said:
The above is very good advice.
This seems like a weird place to ask such a question, but what the hell, I'll give it a shot too.
Tell her you love her very much and that you would never, ever cheat on her. You have to be absolutely sincere about this and make yourself believe it even if you actually did think about cheating. Any doubt that you show she will pick up on now.
PS: Facebook sucks.
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I am sincere. I had no intentions of cheating..
LOL and i know but I am here alot you guys are like family and it seemed like a good place to get non objective view..
Its reasons like that me and my wife share a FB account. Full freaking transparency! Just tell her you got caught up for a minute because we all like to be flattered once in a while. I'm sure she has flirted at some point behind your back.
In times of great personal conflict and inner-turmoil with the ones I love, I also think of turning to an cell-phone internet message board of complete strangers for advice.
badaphooko01 said:
Its reasons like that me and my wife share a FB account. Full freaking transparency! Just tell her you got caught up for a minute because we all like to be flattered once in a while. I'm sure she has flirted at some point behind your back.
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+1 to this. My wife and I share one too and have the privacy set high. We orignally got it to "spy" on people but have since put some stuff on there. Agree also with the "everyone wants to feel special" once in awhile aspect too. I can garauntee that if you try hard enough, you can find some instance that she has flirted too, but why would you want to do that b/c you'll just end up over analyzing everything. Just say you are sorry.
Side story:
A long time ago (15+) before FB, G+ ot twitter, I used to work nights in college. I got home late one night and my girlfriend at the time was asleep. The phone rang and I used to have this habit of screwing with tele-marketers to hopefully piss them off enough to drop my number.
This time it was just a wrong number, but there was a shy, what sounded like a cute voice on the other line that apologized for calling the wrong number. Before she got off the phone, I asked her what she was wearing and messed with her a little bit, then hung up. Told my girlfriend in the morning about it and we laughed (full disclosure-sorry I'm honest like that).
Anyways this girl called back the next night too and this time my girlfriend was up and we totally messed with this girls head and got her to agree to meet for a 3-way (only problem was she didn't know my GF was on the phone so it was going to be with her and her boyfriend-I don't do two swords if you know what I mean).
Long story short, we completely messed with this girl and my phone company at the time had this feature that if right after you got an annoying call you could hit *57 and if you did it to the same number 3 times in one month, it got their phone shut off for a month for harassing.
If you can't or won't follow though woth something, don't chat with someone you don't know. For all you know, it could have been me on the other side of the Facebook message.
PJcastaldo said:
Thanks. Good advice
I am sincere. I had no intentions of cheating..
LOL and i know but I am here alot you guys are like family and it seemed like a good place to get non objective view..
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Yeah man, what you SHOULD do now, dont know if youre willing to do so, but you should just give her your facebook password. If you know youre not going to do anything like that again, she should be able to have it.
It will get a LOADDD off her shoulders knowing she doesnt have to sneak up on you, but rather look for herself at any time.
Hope everything goes well for you man. Just give it time.
FACEBOOK IS FULL OF PEOPLE YOU USED TO KNOW AND DONT WANT TO TALK TO, TWITTER IS FULL OF PEOPLE YOU DONT KNOW AND WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO..IMO,Hope everything works out,
hope everything is working out.
Im just a couple yrs older than you and have have been married about the same time, have 1 child also; so I can understand how this would be a really emotional situation for her and then you.
others gave good advice. be honest w her. tell her it was a mistake. let her look through all your other FB, email, ect... messages to prove to her that this was a one time semi-inocent situation.
even though you did nothing wrong, and maybe you did not, but put yourself in her situation. if you found that on her FB, you would probably be pretty pissed too (at least I would be).
so let her look at everything, give her your passwords, what ever you need to show her that this was a one time incident, that it was nothing more then casual chatting, but you understand that she is upset and you see how it looks now, you would be too in her situation, and that you wont do it again.
good luck
Online cheating is cheating.
I have a different opinion.
I think you should have never added her and never had any type of conversation with her. There is no reason a married man with children should be adding random females to his Facebook.
Secondly, you said you had no intention of cheating, but what about online cheating? What if she had asked you to get on Skype so she could give you a little show. Are you telling me you wouldn't go and watch and maybe join on Skype yourself?
That is my opinion. We live in a new world, and online relationships are a form of cheating in my opinion. You wouldn't sit with this girl at a coffee shop and chit chat, you shouldn't online either.
That's why I'm getting married till I'm like late 20's/early 30's
Hope it works out mate!
Sent from my T959 using xda premium
PJcastaldo said:
So this has absolutely nothing to do with Android or anything...
So me and my wife have been together since freshman year in high school we are now 27.. have a 7 year old and a 1 month old. I love her.. and would never cheat on her..
A week or so ago I got a message from a cute chick on facebook saying she wanted to be my friend. I asked her why she said because she thought i looked cute in my pictures. I told her she wasn't so bad looking and we had a kind of flirty conversation. I did however tell her about my wife and kids and we talked about things like where we live and what not.. noting more than a PG conversation..
IT NEVER WENT ANY FARTHER THAN THIS CONVERSATION AND ONLY ONCE...
So i left my FB page up and my wife snooped and read my messages.. she is now crying..
I do feel bad that she got her feelings hurt, but i don't really feel like i did anything wrong..
Let me know what you guys think about my mess i made... just curious about outside opinions..
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Tell her you love her AND that you were A COMPETE DUMBASS for having a meaningless, stupid convo. Then be good and don't do this AGAIN!
Sent from my HTC Sensation 4G using Tapatalk
One day I was at my girlfriend's house, her hot sister came to me and asked if I would like to sleep with her. I was shocked, and, as fast as I could, ran out of the house to my car. To my surprise my girlfriend was outside leaning against the car. She then said, "I knew I could trust you! ", then gave me a hug and told me she loved me.
Moral of the story?
Always keep your condoms in your car.
Wow, what a mess you've gotten yourself into.
If you haven't already, I think you need to first know and understand why your wife is upset.
After years of marriage, she certainly knows you as a person. If you're the type of person who doesn't cheat, she probably knows it. So it's not really a matter of "cheating".
It's a matter of loyalty and sense of security.
It's inevitable that people change over time. They're older, wiser, have different perspectives, etc. But the one thing that doesn't (ie, shouldn't) change is your commitment to your spouse.
when people first started dating, they think they're the perfect match for each other. After years of marriage you might:
-pack on some extra weight
-lose some hair
-no longer buy flowers for your wife
-no longer put up the toilet seat
-have different political views
-discover both of you have different tastes in music
-etc
But, damn it, she knows that at least she can confidently say "After all this time, my husband still loves me."
And if she has a bad day at work or if she just needs a hug, you're there for her. No matter what, you're suppose to have her back. You're her pillar to lean on. She might not need your support all the time, but she knows that if she does, you're there all the time, rock solid.
That "pillar" is what you've compromised here.
So when trying to make amends, don't focus on the FB chat. That's not the real issue at hand. Do what you need to do to let her know that you're still there for her.
TO YOUR WIFE :
plz forgive him, it's nothing, he's a loving husband if he's asking such a small thing here, that means he loves you alot.
Sent from my X8 using Tapatalk
DevStaffAndroid said:
Sent from my X8 using Tapatalk
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now THATS a helpful answer xD
Sent from my GT-S5570 using XDA App
Me and my GF had a three day fight cause I never changed my Facebook profile from "single" to "in a relationship", and she thinks she had it bad. Of cpurse her drama queen sister conviced her it was so i can cheat. I only log in once or twice a month and never thought to change it.
OP you guys should just delete all your Facebook profiles, its more trouble than it's worth, like the situation you got into.
Facebook is nothing but a gathering for information and statistics anyway.
Simply don't post stuff at all
Wow, so today I found out that my ex-girlfriend now, been messaging her ex-boyfriend telling him he misses her and loves her and wants to be with him behind my back. Let me remind you that she is pregnant with my kid. I read her google chat log and found out all different kind of messages. I was completely shocked and completely *****ed at her. I told her stup*d as* to pack up her sh!t and get the f*ck out of my house. To think I was going to marry her as*.
Wow that's harsh man. Sorry to hear it. If there was no kid involved I'd say you're lucky to have found out, but that's just wrong on the little one. What a role model Mummy's gonna be
Sorry to hear that also, I think you need to care about your child now. Try not to confront her or him, just don't give a crap for the well being of your child (that needs to be your primary focus from now on).
Cheers man and good luck.
Archer said:
Wow that's harsh man. Sorry to hear it. If there was no kid involved I'd say you're lucky to have found out, but that's just wrong on the little one. What a role model Mummy's gonna be
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Yeah, I really ended up with something huh.. Nice way to start off the New Years.. F*ck that b!tch!
UPDATE: She's calling me telling me sorry and how she doesnt want me to leave.. What a dumb b!tch. Seriously. I told her to get the f*ck out of my life and get her sh!t out. Tired of her bullsh!t.
Mr. Clown said:
Sorry to hear that also, I think you need to care about your child now. Try not to confront her or him, just don't give a crap for the well being of your child (that needs to be your primary focus from now on).
Cheers man and good luck.
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Archer said:
Wow that's harsh man. Sorry to hear it. If there was no kid involved I'd say you're lucky to have found out, but that's just wrong on the little one. What a role model Mummy's gonna be
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Thank you both for hearing me out. Really appreciate the comments. Its good to talk to someone about something awful like this.
Make sure you don't sign that birth certificate until you get DNA confirmation that it's your baby.
I have a friend that got trapped and is paying child support on a child that's not his because he signed (acknowledged) that the child was his.
Sent from my SPH-D710 using XDA App
Above&Beyond™ said:
Yeah, I really ended up with something huh.. Nice way to start off the New Years.. F*ck that b!tch!
UPDATE: She's calling me telling me sorry and how she doesnt want me to leave.. What a dumb b!tch. Seriously. I told her to get the f*ck out of my life and get her sh!t out. Tired of her bullsh!t.
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That's going to be a hard line to take if she's pregnant with your child... sounds like she might be a part of your life for good now, one way or the other. :/
Still, sorry to hear it bro.
Yeah, it's a tough situation all round. As said above, you are going to be involved in her life now for many, many years, so as Mr Clown said you need to forget your anger towards them because the little one is the most important thing.
Obviously, I agree with Android300ZX that a DNA test is a wise precaution.
Just one pertinent question: Are you sure it's your kid?
One thing to say: She's only sorry because she got caught. Ditch the b*tch bro, plenty of other chicks out there.
also MAKE SURE U RECORD everything when it come time to back what u need ex tv,couch,phone,printer,computer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkt7Dx_uK5Y SHE DA CHEATING HO*
Its cheaper to keep her. Eff child support. My dad had to go through it 7, yes that's right, SEVEN times.
-My life is a shooting range, people never change-
watt9493 said:
Its cheaper to keep her. Eff child support. My dad had to go through it 7, yes that's right, SEVEN times.
-My life is a shooting range, people never change-
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This statement really pisses me off. One of my employees always says it all the time. It is not about what option is less expensive...it is about what makes you both happy.
You both need to have a heart to heart and decide if you want to make things work or if it is best to separate ways. Take it from someone who was married for 6 years with someone who didnt seem like he wanted to be there...in the end, I was tired of being in love with a man that didn't seem to feel the same about me and we were divorced. Now I am a single mom and things are much better off.
Examine your relationship now before you get to involved. Your baby will be best with 2 parents who love each other, rather then 2 parents who only stay together for the kid.
I agree you should catalog everything that you had pre-relationship with her. It's not marriage but things can go south very fast. I also agree with who ever posted about not signing the birth certificate until you know 110% sure that the baby is yours. I had a girlfriend who was messing around with other guys behind my back when she got pregnant (found that out after we went through everything). Good luck bro
Damn... Sorry to hear that bro
Sent from my LG-P999 using xda premium
Hey man, altough you think this is the end of the world, it isn´t. Let your friends and family comfort you, that life goes on.
That will be a prolonged pain. Find time to spend totally away from her to heal.
I'm gonna go back on what I previously said, after thinking about it some more. We've all made mistakes - I've made tons of them! If you care enough about the girl to be planning a family and marriage with her then maybe it's worth at least seeing what happens.
It's easy for someone not in the situation to knee-jerk but what do we know about how you two really feel about each other? Nothing.
Just use this place to vent and see our responses, then ignore them all completely and do what's best for you, your misses and the little one. Just be honest and you can't go wrong.
I usually don't repeat myself but:
-Make sure you get a DNA test!
-A lot of females use that (I'm pregnant) against a guy to keep him. It may very well be true but be careful.
-Record everything! Make a backup on Gmail. I would use Google Voice and have Google Voice be your primary voicemail. If she calls you and leaves a voicemail it will get saved to Google Voice where you can download it to your desktop and keep it on file.
-Take most if not all the things she says to you with a grain of salt.
-Make sure you don't end up looking like the deadbeat that just picked up and left. They tend to make themselves look like the victim to their friends and family.
-If the child is yours take care of your business and appreciate them because they are pure.
-If you find it in your heart to forgive her make sure you really forgive her and not bring it up when you get into the occasional argument.
I have experience in this. My GF cheated on me twice. The first time she would go out with her "girls" (multiple instances of partying with her "girls" and coming back late in the AM) and I found out she was going out with a guy that I knew who was in our circle of friends. She would cut school and hang out with this guy all the while I was paying for her education. She doesn't work or hasn't in the 4 years we've been together because I took care of everything as a man. The second time I caught her was on her birthday when I came home early (unannounced) from work to surprise her and caught her leaving the neighbors house and overheard her on the phone discussing the events with her BFF. I couldn't forgive her because the thought of me seeing this guy's car every day and the fact that I know he's be laughing at me from behind the confines of his home taking me for a sucker. The only reason I haven't pummeled his face in is because of my daughter.
I have a kid with her and I still live with her but we are only together for the sake of my daughter. She graduates this month from school and will get a job in her field so we will sit down and discuss our arrangements and separation.
Just make sure you cover all your bases man.
*** Again, Do the DNA test!! Don't fall for that guilt trip she may put on your about you denying your child and not trusting her ***
They will use that against you and make you succumb to signing the certificate.
Hang in there man, it's tough. I think that you best pursue what's going to be the best for your son or daughter.
There is a test they can do for paternity during gestation, it determines gender among other things of the child, mostly done for at risk older mothers.
If in the end you find you are a father, ill tell you first hand (literally holding my Lil guy) its a feeling like no other. You've got to do what's best for your own, which will likely be to split. Your gf likely grew up on a household with a limited example of a father figure, and you certainly don't want your own kid to turn into the same type of person as her.
Yeah, DNA test seems good suggestion. Make sure wich base it came from. Also maybe ask for a ETA.
Oké, now go to Dr Phill or Jerry Springer. Last time i checked it was a technical forum.
Cheers
Hey Guys,
so I'm 14 and coloured and my whole Village and school is full of "white",
i mean i have many friends but my computer science teacher is such a b***h.
She bullying on me where ever she can's just like in this project she said to me i have to use all the basic html comands without div's and so on. But to my other "white" classmates she said that they can usw everythung she helps them and when the others are disturbing the teaching lessons everytime she yells at me. my whole class thinks that she hates me...
So how would you handle it?
BTW: sry for my Bad english Dudes i'm living in Germany
milestone97 said:
Hey Guys,
so I'm 14 and coloured and my whole Village and school is full of "white",
i mean i have many friends but my computer science teacher is such a b***h.
She bullying on me where ever she can's just like in this project she said to me i have to use all the basic html comands without div's and so on. But to my other "white" classmates she said that they can usw everythung she helps them and when the others are disturbing the teaching lessons everytime she yells at me. my whole class thinks that she hates me...
So how would you handle it?
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Click to collapse
you take away her power, dont try to handle it with her, go her supervisor, ie the rector and report her. Aslong as you and you classmates and her are involved she will have the power.
If you want to do however want to solve it between you and her, start by talk to her straight up about the situation. If she dont accknowledge or take you serious, then tell her that you are heading to the rectors office.
Dont be afraid to start some beef, if you keep ignoring stuff like this then I can assure you wil send a signal that it is okey to do it.
Sent from my Transformer TF101 using Tapatalk
I already wanted to go there with my friends but she's a kind of teacher if you say something wrong she won't forget it, oh yeah and my nice headteacher -_-, 2 years ago i start to went to go in a laptop class i and my friend got a virus, where the systemadministraor said that was our own fault and i have to transfer 30 bucks to the bankaccount from the school, we done it already that that day bit one week later my headteacher came into the class took my laptop and heavily shouted at me so that i began start crying but he didn't stop he was contunine,
even my class teacher said that he was overacting, when i get home my dad calles the headmaster and said that whats he problem war after a quick talk my headteacher admit that he didn't look for along 3 weeks at his Bankaccount if the money was already there, so he just yelled at me without any information but my White friend didn't had any problems
Call the Police?
Sent using XDA Premium HD from my ICS Powered tablet
milestone97 said:
I already wanted to go there with my friends but she's a kind of teacher if you say something wrong she won't forget it, oh yeah and my nice headteacher -_-, 2 years ago i start to went to go in a laptop class i and my friend got a virus, where the systemadministraor said that was our own fault and i have to transfer 30 bucks to the bankaccount from the school, we done it already that that day bit one week later my headteacher came into the class took my laptop and heavily shouted at me so that i began start crying but he didn't stop he was contunine,
even my class teacher said that he was overacting, when i get home my dad calles the headmaster and said that whats he problem war after a quick talk my headteacher admit that he didn't look for along 3 weeks at his Bankaccount if the money was already there, so he just yelled at me without any information but my White friend didn't had any problems
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Is the headteacher your rector? you need to talk to someone who can do something about it, ask your dad or anyone who maybe have time to join you in class, to let the teachers know that you are not alone in this. If it doesnt help then you bring media attention to it. Dont worry, your father seems like he can protect you no matter what.
Sent from my Transformer TF101 using Tapatalkr
milestone97 said:
I already wanted to go there with my friends but she's a kind of teacher if you say something wrong she won't forget it, oh yeah and my nice headteacher -_-, 2 years ago i start to went to go in a laptop class i and my friend got a virus, where the systemadministraor said that was our own fault and i have to transfer 30 bucks to the bankaccount from the school, we done it already that that day bit one week later my headteacher came into the class took my laptop and heavily shouted at me so that i began start crying but he didn't stop he was contunine,
even my class teacher said that he was overacting, when i get home my dad calles the headmaster and said that whats he problem war after a quick talk my headteacher admit that he didn't look for along 3 weeks at his Bankaccount if the money was already there, so he just yelled at me without any information but my White friend didn't had any problems
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In the US, we have superintendents over school districts. There should be something similar for you. Unless schools are privately owned and funded then you may have nobody to go to other than the headmaster.
If you were in the US, I'd have more advice to give. I just don't know how things work there.
Either way, you don't deserve it. Don't just sit back and take it. You need to stand up for yourself. I'm sorry this is happening to you, racism is something that no one should tolerate - regardless of race.
Take a sound recorder, keep recording until there's racism, when you've got enough evidence show it to your local council or someone in power, such as school governors and your parents
Sent from my HTC Vision using XDA
The thing is that they won't call me a ****** at least the teachers...
i mean there many guys who made racism jokes when i'm around or they have massivly prejudice, that many tiny things over the years that let you feel different... like the thing where my neighbours collected signatures cause our house is concealeing them their sun so they wanted us to move out.
BTW: I don't know if we have something like a superitendor^^
Oh yeah and the headteacher and recoter is the same in germany
How about changing school? Are the other schools in the area that you can switch to?
No... how i said this is a small village... i just wanted to wait cause next year i will be finished with this school and will going to another school in a city with more foreigners
So what the racism here? You think because you black she using racism on you, maybe its just they you see it.
milestone97 said:
Hey Guys,
so I'm 14 and coloured and my whole Village and school is full of "white",
i mean i have many friends but my computer science teacher is such a b***h.
She bullying on me where ever she can's just like in this project she said to me i have to use all the basic html comands without div's and so on. But to my other "white" classmates she said that they can usw everythung she helps them and when the others are disturbing the teaching lessons everytime she yells at me. my whole class thinks that she hates me...
So how would you handle it?
BTW: sry for my Bad english Dudes i'm living in Germany
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Click to collapse
The first question is how do you behave in class?
It is very easy as a teenager to feel that teachers are out to get you when their actions can be understandable.
We had someone in our class who messed around and was passive aggressive to the teachers. As far as he was concerned the teachers had it in for him, as far as they were concerned he was a troublesome child who took up too much of their time to the detriment of the other kids.
Now, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
Some teachers would target him and one tried to get him suspended. She was an art teacher and hated by most students, so one day they all lined up the stairs to the art room blocking the hand rail from her, she slipped. Rather than blame the kids who had caused the accident, she tried to have my friend suspended even though he was sat in the class nowhere near the stairs, behaving himself. She said because he was a disruptive child she was busy thinking what to do with him during the lesson so slipped on the stairs. Thankfully another teacher pointed out how stupid she was being.
Our head of year used to poke kids with the force of a punch, so if they complained it didn't sound that bad and would be ignored, imagine it, saying "he poked me really hard" it doesn't sound serious does it?
If you are genuinely always well behaved, never disrupt the class and are being unfairly harassed, then your parents must get involved and complain formally.
Who runs the school? In the UK most are run by the county council so a complaint can be made to them. Schools also often have governors; parents who help run and guide the school, if you have them get your parents to complain to them.
5yr old's bday is planned 2weeks ahead of time, then morning of, my brother who asked to host, asked to cancel and reschedule for the following day.
Reasons given, my brother's fiancé has her mom's death anniversary, and her grandmother is in the ICU with skin cancer, and she can't get it off work.
1) If this day bothered you so much, wouldn't you have recognized the date when we planned it? Or at least just not the morning of?
2) for skin cancer to put you in the ICU, that means you've had it for a while, so it's no shock. So go be with your grandma, absolutely, but why does it matter if you're with her today but not tomorrow? Plus you could be with her from 8am-4pm, then come to the party?
3) you can't get off work and you just found out now, even though you said you were booking it off 2weeks ago?
Aside from the fact that any sane/rational person would've just opted out so as not to inconvenience everyone else, she also assumed no one had anything else scheduled for the following day. Reverse the roles, if I was going to someone else's bday party and the morning of felt horrible, would I ask that person (and everyone else) to reschedule for tomorrow? No, definitely not.
What are your thoughts?
Personally... I think his reason is valid, his girlfriend's grandma is important to him. At the same time, you've planned this for two weeks so it would be a lot of work to reschedule.
My proposal: Have your kid's birthday, if your brother can't host then oh well, but welcome him to come when he can. Even if it's a day late, even if he misses the party, I'm sure your kid will appreciate seeing their uncle.
Life happens. Don't hold it against people.
To me, it's valid. Remember that we're talking about a birthday party for a kid who is in kindergarten or first grade. Does anyone remember their own 5th birthday and the associated celebration of it? I didn't think so.
Also, unless you are one of those parents that plans an extravaganza for such things and spends thousands of dollars on it, it's not that great of an inconvenience for you or your guests to show up the next day for an hour or so and wish the kid a happy birthday and possibly give him/her a gift. (Don't start on me with the pronouns argument, please. It's the kid's birthday we are celebrating here.)
It's also a teaching moment where the kid will learn that life doesn't always go according to plan and we must make due with what life gives us. The kid will probably cry and express frustration at not having the party as planned, but it's good to get used to those things happening at a young age so that in the future your kid won't grow up to be a YouTube "entitled person" and be the focus of bad commentary about how they melt down like a snowflake when things don't go right.
Have cupcakes with your kid on their birthday and a quiet celebration with the knowledge that most of the guests will be over tomorrow for the real party.
V0latyle said:
Personally... I think his reason is valid, his girlfriend's grandma is important to him. At the same time, you've planned this for two weeks so it would be a lot of work to reschedule.
My proposal: Have your kid's birthday, if your brother can't host then oh well, but welcome him to come when he can. Even if it's a day late, even if he misses the party, I'm sure your kid will appreciate seeing their uncle.
Life happens. Don't hold it against people.
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Your proposal is a little more complex as now the decorations and supplies (that were brought over there last week) need to be picked up, moved and put back up. While it isn't a big deal, it's an unnecessary 2hr drive there and back, plus setup time. There isn't enough time in the day, so having it tomorrow is unavoidable now, crushing whatever plans people had. My mom frequently works on Sunday, I don't even want to ask her. While my wife and I did had plans for tomorrow, luckily it's wasn't with my wife's parents and we could easily move it to today.
I'm impressed with your outlook on things, don't think I could do it given I'm also undergoing life saving treatment right now. My hat's off to you, the world needs more kind people like you in it. All the best.
blaacksheep said:
To me, it's valid. Remember that we're talking about a birthday party for a kid who is in kindergarten or first grade. Does anyone remember their own 5th birthday and the associated celebration of it? I didn't think so.
Also, unless you are one of those parents that plans an extravaganza for such things and spends thousands of dollars on it, it's not that great of an inconvenience for you or your guests to show up the next day for an hour or so and wish the kid a happy birthday and possibly give him/her a gift. (Don't start on me with the pronouns argument, please. It's the kid's birthday we are celebrating here.)
It's also a teaching moment where the kid will learn that life doesn't always go according to plan and we must make due with what life gives us. The kid will probably cry and express frustration at not having the party as planned, but it's good to get used to those things happening at a young age so that in the future your kid won't grow up to be a YouTube "entitled person" and be the focus of bad commentary about how they melt down like a snowflake when things don't go right.
Have cupcakes with your kid on their birthday and a quiet celebration with the knowledge that most of the guests will be over tomorrow for the real party.
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Click to collapse
I know the kid won't be able to tell the difference, I'm talking more of the inconvenience for everyone else. What's the point of planning something with multiple people 2weeks ahead of time, if we're just going to force everyone to do it on another day so as to accommodate one person? It sounds ridiculous to suggest, because that would mean there is never a choice then? Choice is only an illusion.
To me, the logical answer would be to have the one person that can't make it (for whatever reason), not make it. If "the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one", then the decision is clear. 5 people inconvenienced, versus 1, and really, how inconvenienced can you be if you've only met the kid less than 10 times, and miss one of the many children's parties.
IMO ( worldwide accepted) common valid reasons to cancel last minute include sudden illness or injury, family emergencies, unexpected work obligations, transportation issues, and inclement weather.
IMPORTANT:
Don’ text them your excuse, CALL THEM.
jwoegerbauer said:
IMO ( worldwide accepted) common valid reasons to cancel last minute include sudden illness or injury, family emergencies, unexpected work obligations, transportation issues, and inclement weather.
IMPORTANT:
Don’ text them your excuse, CALL THEM.
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Click to collapse
Lol, indeed those are all great reasons for YOU not to make it, which would've been 100% cool. It's not the first time she missed a family event. If it were me, I would've bailed on the party and went to be with my ill relative. If she just wanted to stay in bed, and maybe come down for 15min to have dessert, 100% cool with me too. But to shut down the entire party morning of, inconvenience everyone else by scrambling last minute to rearrange plans, all while presuming everyone is free on the day you choose.......no, that's selfish.