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So this has absolutely nothing to do with Android or anything...
So me and my wife have been together since freshman year in high school we are now 27.. have a 7 year old and a 1 month old. I love her.. and would never cheat on her..
A week or so ago I got a message from a cute chick on facebook saying she wanted to be my friend. I asked her why she said because she thought i looked cute in my pictures. I told her she wasn't so bad looking and we had a kind of flirty conversation. I did however tell her about my wife and kids and we talked about things like where we live and what not.. noting more than a PG conversation..
IT NEVER WENT ANY FARTHER THAN THIS CONVERSATION AND ONLY ONCE...
So i left my FB page up and my wife snooped and read my messages.. she is now crying..
I do feel bad that she got her feelings hurt, but i don't really feel like i did anything wrong..
Let me know what you guys think about my mess i made... just curious about outside opinions..
Well, just tell her it was a mistake.
You were stupid and just liked the attention. It wasn't like you intended to cheat on her.
Think about how you would feel if you seen her doing that to you.
Nothing will gain you're trust back from her but time...
The above is very good advice.
This seems like a weird place to ask such a question, but what the hell, I'll give it a shot too.
Tell her you love her very much and that you would never, ever cheat on her. You have to be absolutely sincere about this and make yourself believe it even if you actually did think about cheating. Any doubt that you show she will pick up on now.
PS: I've never understood why everyone loves Facebook. I hate that ****.
shawayne21 said:
Well, just tell her it was a mistake.
You were stupid and just liked the attention. It wasn't like you intended to cheat on her.
Think about how you would feel if you seen her doing that to you.
Nothing will gain you're trust back from her but time...
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Thanks. Good advice
Haints said:
The above is very good advice.
This seems like a weird place to ask such a question, but what the hell, I'll give it a shot too.
Tell her you love her very much and that you would never, ever cheat on her. You have to be absolutely sincere about this and make yourself believe it even if you actually did think about cheating. Any doubt that you show she will pick up on now.
PS: Facebook sucks.
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I am sincere. I had no intentions of cheating..
LOL and i know but I am here alot you guys are like family and it seemed like a good place to get non objective view..
Its reasons like that me and my wife share a FB account. Full freaking transparency! Just tell her you got caught up for a minute because we all like to be flattered once in a while. I'm sure she has flirted at some point behind your back.
In times of great personal conflict and inner-turmoil with the ones I love, I also think of turning to an cell-phone internet message board of complete strangers for advice.
badaphooko01 said:
Its reasons like that me and my wife share a FB account. Full freaking transparency! Just tell her you got caught up for a minute because we all like to be flattered once in a while. I'm sure she has flirted at some point behind your back.
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+1 to this. My wife and I share one too and have the privacy set high. We orignally got it to "spy" on people but have since put some stuff on there. Agree also with the "everyone wants to feel special" once in awhile aspect too. I can garauntee that if you try hard enough, you can find some instance that she has flirted too, but why would you want to do that b/c you'll just end up over analyzing everything. Just say you are sorry.
Side story:
A long time ago (15+) before FB, G+ ot twitter, I used to work nights in college. I got home late one night and my girlfriend at the time was asleep. The phone rang and I used to have this habit of screwing with tele-marketers to hopefully piss them off enough to drop my number.
This time it was just a wrong number, but there was a shy, what sounded like a cute voice on the other line that apologized for calling the wrong number. Before she got off the phone, I asked her what she was wearing and messed with her a little bit, then hung up. Told my girlfriend in the morning about it and we laughed (full disclosure-sorry I'm honest like that).
Anyways this girl called back the next night too and this time my girlfriend was up and we totally messed with this girls head and got her to agree to meet for a 3-way (only problem was she didn't know my GF was on the phone so it was going to be with her and her boyfriend-I don't do two swords if you know what I mean).
Long story short, we completely messed with this girl and my phone company at the time had this feature that if right after you got an annoying call you could hit *57 and if you did it to the same number 3 times in one month, it got their phone shut off for a month for harassing.
If you can't or won't follow though woth something, don't chat with someone you don't know. For all you know, it could have been me on the other side of the Facebook message.
PJcastaldo said:
Thanks. Good advice
I am sincere. I had no intentions of cheating..
LOL and i know but I am here alot you guys are like family and it seemed like a good place to get non objective view..
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Yeah man, what you SHOULD do now, dont know if youre willing to do so, but you should just give her your facebook password. If you know youre not going to do anything like that again, she should be able to have it.
It will get a LOADDD off her shoulders knowing she doesnt have to sneak up on you, but rather look for herself at any time.
Hope everything goes well for you man. Just give it time.
FACEBOOK IS FULL OF PEOPLE YOU USED TO KNOW AND DONT WANT TO TALK TO, TWITTER IS FULL OF PEOPLE YOU DONT KNOW AND WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO..IMO,Hope everything works out,
hope everything is working out.
Im just a couple yrs older than you and have have been married about the same time, have 1 child also; so I can understand how this would be a really emotional situation for her and then you.
others gave good advice. be honest w her. tell her it was a mistake. let her look through all your other FB, email, ect... messages to prove to her that this was a one time semi-inocent situation.
even though you did nothing wrong, and maybe you did not, but put yourself in her situation. if you found that on her FB, you would probably be pretty pissed too (at least I would be).
so let her look at everything, give her your passwords, what ever you need to show her that this was a one time incident, that it was nothing more then casual chatting, but you understand that she is upset and you see how it looks now, you would be too in her situation, and that you wont do it again.
good luck
Online cheating is cheating.
I have a different opinion.
I think you should have never added her and never had any type of conversation with her. There is no reason a married man with children should be adding random females to his Facebook.
Secondly, you said you had no intention of cheating, but what about online cheating? What if she had asked you to get on Skype so she could give you a little show. Are you telling me you wouldn't go and watch and maybe join on Skype yourself?
That is my opinion. We live in a new world, and online relationships are a form of cheating in my opinion. You wouldn't sit with this girl at a coffee shop and chit chat, you shouldn't online either.
That's why I'm getting married till I'm like late 20's/early 30's
Hope it works out mate!
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PJcastaldo said:
So this has absolutely nothing to do with Android or anything...
So me and my wife have been together since freshman year in high school we are now 27.. have a 7 year old and a 1 month old. I love her.. and would never cheat on her..
A week or so ago I got a message from a cute chick on facebook saying she wanted to be my friend. I asked her why she said because she thought i looked cute in my pictures. I told her she wasn't so bad looking and we had a kind of flirty conversation. I did however tell her about my wife and kids and we talked about things like where we live and what not.. noting more than a PG conversation..
IT NEVER WENT ANY FARTHER THAN THIS CONVERSATION AND ONLY ONCE...
So i left my FB page up and my wife snooped and read my messages.. she is now crying..
I do feel bad that she got her feelings hurt, but i don't really feel like i did anything wrong..
Let me know what you guys think about my mess i made... just curious about outside opinions..
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Tell her you love her AND that you were A COMPETE DUMBASS for having a meaningless, stupid convo. Then be good and don't do this AGAIN!
Sent from my HTC Sensation 4G using Tapatalk
One day I was at my girlfriend's house, her hot sister came to me and asked if I would like to sleep with her. I was shocked, and, as fast as I could, ran out of the house to my car. To my surprise my girlfriend was outside leaning against the car. She then said, "I knew I could trust you! ", then gave me a hug and told me she loved me.
Moral of the story?
Always keep your condoms in your car.
Wow, what a mess you've gotten yourself into.
If you haven't already, I think you need to first know and understand why your wife is upset.
After years of marriage, she certainly knows you as a person. If you're the type of person who doesn't cheat, she probably knows it. So it's not really a matter of "cheating".
It's a matter of loyalty and sense of security.
It's inevitable that people change over time. They're older, wiser, have different perspectives, etc. But the one thing that doesn't (ie, shouldn't) change is your commitment to your spouse.
when people first started dating, they think they're the perfect match for each other. After years of marriage you might:
-pack on some extra weight
-lose some hair
-no longer buy flowers for your wife
-no longer put up the toilet seat
-have different political views
-discover both of you have different tastes in music
-etc
But, damn it, she knows that at least she can confidently say "After all this time, my husband still loves me."
And if she has a bad day at work or if she just needs a hug, you're there for her. No matter what, you're suppose to have her back. You're her pillar to lean on. She might not need your support all the time, but she knows that if she does, you're there all the time, rock solid.
That "pillar" is what you've compromised here.
So when trying to make amends, don't focus on the FB chat. That's not the real issue at hand. Do what you need to do to let her know that you're still there for her.
TO YOUR WIFE :
plz forgive him, it's nothing, he's a loving husband if he's asking such a small thing here, that means he loves you alot.
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DevStaffAndroid said:
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now THATS a helpful answer xD
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Me and my GF had a three day fight cause I never changed my Facebook profile from "single" to "in a relationship", and she thinks she had it bad. Of cpurse her drama queen sister conviced her it was so i can cheat. I only log in once or twice a month and never thought to change it.
OP you guys should just delete all your Facebook profiles, its more trouble than it's worth, like the situation you got into.
Facebook is nothing but a gathering for information and statistics anyway.
Simply don't post stuff at all
Just wanted to make sure everyone here is up to date on flash mob robberies, they are halarious, if you dont know about them yet check out you-tube and watch a few videos.
Basicaly the idea of a flash mob has turned from random bits of dance and entertainment to 50-100 people simotaniusley robbing/looting random corner stores and gas stations. I do not condone these acts (while I do think the videos are entertaining) and thought others may like to share opinions on this, so what do you guys think? I say its not long before a store owner pulls a weapon on these fools and we see mass casualties in a 7-11, how else are they gonna defend themselves against such a thing?
Is this happening in other counties or is this more of a U.S. based thing as of yet?
Please share which vidoes you find the most entertaining!!!!
(video for those unfamiliar)
I don't find anything remotely funny about small business owners being robbed by gangs of morons who deserve nothing more than being put against a wall and shot, one after the other, in the knee-caps.
I hope somebody does exactly that. On camera. Perhaps THEN i will laugh.
DirkGently said:
I don't find anything remotely funny about small business owners being robbed by gangs of morons who deserve nothing more than being put against a wall and shot, one after the other, in the knee-caps.
I hope somebody does exactly that. On camera. Perhaps THEN i will laugh.
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Sorry I still see the entertainment value in these videos (big fan of worlds dumbest lol). However I believe we are on the same page, that the next progression is going to be a store owner shooting at these groups of wild teens looting there store, untill than whats stopping them? The thought process must be "they cant catch all of us" I guess, but im not sure why nobodys wearing masks, idiots must not understand that there are cameras almost everywhere. Imagine if you were a cop and were first on scene to one of these calls best bet might be to baragade your cruiser against the door and lock them all in untill backup arrives, however that locks the loanly clerk and any possible legit patrons inside as posible hostages. Could you imagine going in to pay for gas or buy some smokes and 50+ kids run in and start looting the place!
DirkGently said:
I don't find anything remotely funny about small business owners being robbed by gangs of morons
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^^ This
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Yeah. Great, some store owner shoots one and the rest beat him to death...
That's entertainment alright..........
As someone who very regularly has to deal with the kind of moron who thinks its acceptable to steal from and threaten those who work in customer service I do not find this remotely funny.
I see, all too often just how badly the people that do these jobs can be affected by even a minor incident and something such as this could have serious repercussions on the life of a completely innocent person who is not insured against any loss or injury and will receive nothing in compensation should they find themselves unable to work afterwards.
By simply reposting these videos you are glorifying these acts and only inciting more of this kind of action by the type of mindless cretins who make life difficult for those of us who work hard to earn a living.
conantroutman said:
By simply reposting these videos you are glorifying these acts and only inciting more of this kind of action by the type of mindless cretins who make life difficult for those of us who work hard to earn a living.
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Meh... understood. I did actually find myslef wondering why such videos remain on youtube, thinking along the same lines that actually seeing such a video would only insight further flash mob robberies sparking the mind of wasted youth. However that is enough self reflection into myself and will be reserved for another day when I feel more like looking back onto things I may or may not have done, that may or may not have been the "best choices"
I started this thread in thoughts of conversation and nothing more, please do not mistake this as approval to such acts
Yeah point taken, its probably not fair to blame you personally so sorry about that.
Just annoys me that's all
Sent From My Fingers To Your Face.....
conantroutman said:
Yeah point taken, its probably not fair to blame you personally so sorry about that.
Just annoys me that's all
Sent From My Fingers To Your Face.....
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No worries
It's OK, you did call them fools after all, and you do raise the point that it won't be long before it turns really ugly, i.e, loss of life ugly. Had anybody thought you were glorifying the acts the thread would be closed by now!
As CTM said, these things can only go south. The robbers come with knives, so owners buy guns and before long the robbers have guns. It's exactly what's happened in the USA, and as much as the gun advocates, i.e NRA members, defend their position.. it's completely illogical. The argument is cyclical. You defend your home with a BB Bat, robbers bring knives. You buy a knife, robbers bring guns. You buy a gun and before long your kid has accidentally shot himself to death.
The arguments go back and forth while the only clear and logical answer is to smelt every single fkin gun in existence. Fortunately it's the one thing the UK government here at home has gotten right.
The only guns should belong to the Army and Specialist Police forces. Beyond that, they shouldn't even be made. The only reason these cocky little ****es think they can get away with robbing innocent people is because most people are too sensible to start an arms race where nobody wins. And most people are too decent to shoot somebody, even when they themselves are being robbed.
Personally, i have no such reservations. I would kill each and every one of the bastards given the chance. Which is exactly why we have gun control here!
^^^lol, a bb bat excellent makeshift weapon
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deliriousDroid said:
^^^lol, a bb bat excellent makeshift weapon
Sent from my SilverBullet 'HTCDesireZ running CM7'
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I would swing like Babe Ruth if i thought a direct hit would save the life of someone i loved!
Tony Martin was jailed because we don't have the 'Castle doctrine' in this country. The biggest mistake he made wasn't to open fire on the assholes who tried to rob him. It was missing, and then not burying the bodies that messed up his life!
Like i said, it's a good thing that the law doesn't agree with me!
DirkGently said:
I would swing like Babe Ruth if i thought a direct hit would save the life of someone i loved!
Tony Martin was jailed because we don't have the 'Castle doctrine' in this country. The biggest mistake he made wasn't to open fire on the assholes who tried to rob him. It was missing, and then not burying the bodies that messed up his life!
Like i said, it's a good thing that the law doesn't agree with me!
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And what is this 'Castle doctrine' ?
Tomdg07 said:
And what is this 'Castle doctrine' ?
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It's the law that you have in the US that say's you have the right to protect yourself in your own home, against those that would trespass or do harm against you on your property.
Somebody breaks into your home and you shoot them? Their fault!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castle_doctrine
Sadly even this can lead to f**k ups of epic proportions. Take for instance new US laws that allow for entry to a property by law enforcement without the need for a warrant, or for announcing "Police..come out with your hands up..."
Tragically, a recent case highlighted the flaws in this. Police went to an ex-Marines house, on false evidence that he was supplying drugs. Rather than knock on the door they tried to break it down. He thought that his home was being invaded, so to protect his family to picked up his rifle and opened fire on the 'intruders'. He was shot forty times.
What would you have done?
If neither he, or the police were packing guns, everyone would have lived!
DirkGently said:
It's the law that you have in the US that say's you have the right to protect yourself in your own home, against those that would trespass or do harm against you on your property.
Somebody breaks into your home and you shoot them? Their fault!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castle_doctrine
Sadly even this can lead to f**k ups of epic proportions. Take for instance new US laws that allow for entry to a property by law enforcement without the need for a warrant, or for announcing "Police..come out with your hands up..."
Tragically, a recent case highlighted the flaws in this. Police went to an ex-Marines house, on false evidence that he was supplying drugs. Rather than knock on the door they tried to break it down. He thought that his home was being invaded, so to protect his family to picked up his rifle and opened fire on the 'intruders'. He was shot forty times.
What would you have done?
If neither he, or the police were packing guns, everyone would have lived!
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That's what I thought you were referring to, and yes it is an epic fail, no matter how "justified" you are I doubt it's ever worth it. I have a friend who shot and killed an intruder, no charges ever filled however I know he well never be the same. Partially in a good way as his life wasn't always on the up and up and has since in ways changed for the better for both him and his family, but we'll never be the same.
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These videos and the acts portrayed within are just terrible. I for one believe we need more small "mom and pop" stores, not less. Acts like these can very well cause someone innocent to be hurt (the morons doing these things NEED to be hurt....but I digress....) and drive these small stores out of business. Terrible, just terrible.
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It makes me sad to see this kind of stuff happen in the states... I can barely believe it!
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1) flash mobbers deserve whatever a store owner it's willing to give out.
2) I stand firmly in support of castle doctrine ... come into my house when
I'm not expecting you, and we'll see how it works.
My 2¢,
G
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I had her email.
Chatted with her on AIM
Actually she still has her account but hasn't signed in.
She deleted her Yahoo so no contact.
What should I do?
verycoolalan said:
i had her email.
Chatted with her on aim
actually she still has her account but hasn't signed in.
She deleted her yahoo so no contact.
What should i do?
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find a new girl alan
fleurdelisxliv said:
find a new girl alan
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+1.
-We do what we must because we can; for the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead-
She didn't delete it, she blocked you.
jaszek said:
She didn't delete it, she blocked you.
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Ouch
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VeryCoolAlan said:
What should I do?
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Continue with life. You have very little choice.
jaszek said:
She didn't delete it, she blocked you.
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Haha! If she is that girl for whom you opened 3 threads,she's blocked you for sure xD
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dexter93 said:
Haha! If she is that girl for whom you opened 3 threads,she's blocked you for sure xD
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Haha nahh they were about three different girls.
Lol okay
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Just float on man. No woman is worth the trouble. Just ask error or me. They're a pain in the arse.
-My life is a shooting range, people never change-
Alan, personally i think you're a bloody nice bloke. You're open, honest, sincere.. and i don't think you'd know a scruple if it hit you in the face. Basically you're too nice for most girls you're age. Hell, too nice for most girls full stop. You are in more danger of getting into the 'friendship zone' than any man i know!
All that means is you'll find it hard to find a woman that deserves you. The others will be going after guys that treat them crap, that don't appreciate them and who take them for granted, while you are left looking on from the sidelines wondering to yourself, "what the hell does she see in him?" That is the lot of the nice guy i'm afraid.
The good news is that those aren't the women you want to be with, and you're better off without them anyway. Right now, if one of the more shallow females that you may be acquainted with started showing interest, you would be right to question if there may be a chance that you became a gaping asshole over-night. If however, an equally kind and sincere woman decided to show some interest, no matter how long it took for that to happen, you would know that it's something worth betting the bank on.
The worst thing you could do right now, and the biggest pitfall, would be to try and be someone you're not, just to attract someone you like. Tempting as it may be to try and elevate your status to that of some sort of man-god, women of either kind will see right through that facade. Either way you'd lose!
What you should be doing right now is carrying on with your life. By all means take the opportunity to speak to as many members of the opposite sex as possible. But do it as one person to another, not as some post-pubescent teenager desperate to get his rocks off, Otherwise you may as well tattoo 'i want to get laid' on your forehead, guaranteeing that it will never happen! Don't be a douche, be the nice guy that you actually are. Be yourself.
Of course if you're good, you can fake confidence and charm. I know this from experience. You can trick a woman into liking you. But ultimately, you lose big time doing that. You can't keep up the pretence forever, and you'll always be with a person you have no respect for anyway. Epic Fail basically!
I'd say that perhaps 5% of the worlds population are decent people. People that i personally would want to know. I'd include you in that small percentage. Sadly that means that the odds are stacked against you when it comes to finding a suitable partner. After all, you shouldn't have to settle for one of the 95%, and everyone on your level is fighting it out for the remaining 5%! But on the upside, those 5% of decent women and prospective partners have already ruled out the 95% of sub-standard men and are looking for the 5% that they would be happy with too.
Another way to interpret that is to say that if you are average, and you are looking for average, there's a damn good chance that something will happen for you... no matter how 'average' that something is. If you are above average, and are looking for something that is equally decent, you had better bloody well be patient; but the payoff will be so much better in the end.
The way i see it playing out? One day when you're still scratching around in desperation trying to pinpoint your ideal woman, she'll already be in your life, trying to make herself known to you... and if you're lucky, you won't miss the signals.
Two things:
He is 14 or 15 (should be concentrating on having a life and school)
and he is a Troll...and this comes from a troll...I guess it takes one to know one
If I see any more threads like this I'ma lose it
When i was 15 i was already living with a girl. I wish there had been the Internet back then to vent my spleen in. As it was i had to write letters through a Sunday School support scheme for 'adolescent issues'. If i needed support with my teen problems i was SOL.
Alan is a genuine guy facing the same problems as any guy his age. He deserves a little guidance. God knows i wish i had some at that age!
Great advice Dirk. You are a true gentleman. Wise words as always. I (and I'm sure many others) read and respect many of your posts.
DirkGently said:
Alan, personally i think you're a bloody nice bloke. You're open, honest, sincere.. and i don't think you'd know a scruple if it hit you in the face. Basically you're too nice for most girls you're age. Hell, too nice for most girls full stop. You are in more danger of getting into the 'friendship zone' than any man i know!
All that means is you'll find it hard to find a woman that deserves you. The others will be going after guys that treat them crap, that don't appreciate them and who take them for granted, while you are left looking on from the sidelines wondering to yourself, "what the hell does she see in him?" That is the lot of the nice guy i'm afraid.
The good news is that those aren't the women you want to be with, and you're better off without them anyway. Right now, if one of the more shallow females that you may be acquainted with started showing interest, you would be right to question if there may be a chance that you became a gaping asshole over-night. If however, an equally kind and sincere woman decided to show some interest, no matter how long it took for that to happen, you would know that it's something worth betting the bank on.
The worst thing you could do right now, and the biggest pitfall, would be to try and be someone you're not, just to attract someone you like. Tempting as it may be to try and elevate your status to that of some sort of man-god, women of either kind will see right through that facade. Either way you'd lose!
What you should be doing right now is carrying on with your life. By all means take the opportunity to speak to as many members of the opposite sex as possible. But do it as one person to another, not as some post-pubescent teenager desperate to get his rocks off, Otherwise you may as well tattoo 'i want to get laid' on your forehead, guaranteeing that it will never happen! Don't be a douche, be the nice guy that you actually are. Be yourself.
Of course if you're good, you can fake confidence and charm. I know this from experience. You can trick a woman into liking you. But ultimately, you lose big time doing that. You can't keep up the pretence forever, and you'll always be with a person you have no respect for anyway. Epic Fail basically!
I'd say that perhaps 5% of the worlds population are decent people. People that i personally would want to know. I'd include you in that small percentage. Sadly that means that the odds are stacked against you when it comes to finding a suitable partner. After all, you shouldn't have to settle for one of the 95%, and everyone on your level is fighting it out for the remaining 5%! But on the upside, those 5% of decent women and prospective partners have already ruled out the 95% of sub-standard men and are looking for the 5% that they would be happy with too.
Another way to interpret that is to say that if you are average, and you are looking for average, there's a damn good chance that something will happen for you... no matter how 'average' that something is. If you are above average, and are looking for something that is equally decent, you had better bloody well be patient; but the payoff will be so much better in the end.
The way i see it playing out? One day when you're still scratching around in desperation trying to pinpoint your ideal woman, she'll already be in your life, trying to make herself known to you... and if you're lucky, you won't miss the signals.
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Yes! You understand me!
I always see really pretty girls be like made fun of and yet it makes them like them better. I tried that once but ended up being an ass so I stopped and went back to be myself. I also tried to dress differently and didn't like it. So i went back to baggy ripped jeans and a plain $5 shirt.
I also know about the too nice guy thing. People always tell me I'm too nice and when my someone make fun of me someone always tells me why I don't standup for myself....I don't know maybe I just don't like violence or yelling.
Anyways...thanks a lot for this advice!!!!
So now moving on xD
Should I chase another girl at school? or just not care?
DirkGently said:
Alan, personally i think you're a bloody nice bloke. You're open, honest, sincere.. and i don't think you'd know a scruple if it hit you in the face. Basically you're too nice for most girls you're age. Hell, too nice for most girls full stop. You are in more danger of getting into the 'friendship zone' than any man i know!
All that means is you'll find it hard to find a woman that deserves you. The others will be going after guys that treat them crap, that don't appreciate them and who take them for granted, while you are left looking on from the sidelines wondering to yourself, "what the hell does she see in him?" That is the lot of the nice guy i'm afraid.
The good news is that those aren't the women you want to be with, and you're better off without them anyway. Right now, if one of the more shallow females that you may be acquainted with started showing interest, you would be right to question if there may be a chance that you became a gaping asshole over-night. If however, an equally kind and sincere woman decided to show some interest, no matter how long it took for that to happen, you would know that it's something worth betting the bank on.
The worst thing you could do right now, and the biggest pitfall, would be to try and be someone you're not, just to attract someone you like. Tempting as it may be to try and elevate your status to that of some sort of man-god, women of either kind will see right through that facade. Either way you'd lose!
What you should be doing right now is carrying on with your life. By all means take the opportunity to speak to as many members of the opposite sex as possible. But do it as one person to another, not as some post-pubescent teenager desperate to get his rocks off, Otherwise you may as well tattoo 'i want to get laid' on your forehead, guaranteeing that it will never happen! Don't be a douche, be the nice guy that you actually are. Be yourself.
Of course if you're good, you can fake confidence and charm. I know this from experience. You can trick a woman into liking you. But ultimately, you lose big time doing that. You can't keep up the pretence forever, and you'll always be with a person you have no respect for anyway. Epic Fail basically!
I'd say that perhaps 5% of the worlds population are decent people. People that i personally would want to know. I'd include you in that small percentage. Sadly that means that the odds are stacked against you when it comes to finding a suitable partner. After all, you shouldn't have to settle for one of the 95%, and everyone on your level is fighting it out for the remaining 5%! But on the upside, those 5% of decent women and prospective partners have already ruled out the 95% of sub-standard men and are looking for the 5% that they would be happy with too.
Another way to interpret that is to say that if you are average, and you are looking for average, there's a damn good chance that something will happen for you... no matter how 'average' that something is. If you are above average, and are looking for something that is equally decent, you had better bloody well be patient; but the payoff will be so much better in the end.
The way i see it playing out? One day when you're still scratching around in desperation trying to pinpoint your ideal woman, she'll already be in your life, trying to make herself known to you... and if you're lucky, you won't miss the signals.
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That was so deep man
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VeryCoolAlan said:
Yes! You understand me!
I always see really pretty girls be like made fun of and yet it makes them like them better. I tried that once but ended up being an ass so I stopped and went back to be myself. I also tried to dress differently and didn't like it. So i went back to baggy ripped jeans and a plain $5 shirt.
I also know about the too nice guy thing. People always tell me I'm too nice and when my someone make fun of me someone always tells me why I don't standup for myself....I don't know maybe I just don't like violence or yelling.
Anyways...thanks a lot for this advice!!!!
So now moving on xD
Should I chase another girl at school? or just not care?
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Definitely move on to another girl in school, hell move to a girl at a different school, they don't know you as well as the others do and its like starting over, I'm 16 so I know this works (atleast for me)
Good luck!
Sent from my HTC Glacier using xda premium
Wow, so today I found out that my ex-girlfriend now, been messaging her ex-boyfriend telling him he misses her and loves her and wants to be with him behind my back. Let me remind you that she is pregnant with my kid. I read her google chat log and found out all different kind of messages. I was completely shocked and completely *****ed at her. I told her stup*d as* to pack up her sh!t and get the f*ck out of my house. To think I was going to marry her as*.
Wow that's harsh man. Sorry to hear it. If there was no kid involved I'd say you're lucky to have found out, but that's just wrong on the little one. What a role model Mummy's gonna be
Sorry to hear that also, I think you need to care about your child now. Try not to confront her or him, just don't give a crap for the well being of your child (that needs to be your primary focus from now on).
Cheers man and good luck.
Archer said:
Wow that's harsh man. Sorry to hear it. If there was no kid involved I'd say you're lucky to have found out, but that's just wrong on the little one. What a role model Mummy's gonna be
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Yeah, I really ended up with something huh.. Nice way to start off the New Years.. F*ck that b!tch!
UPDATE: She's calling me telling me sorry and how she doesnt want me to leave.. What a dumb b!tch. Seriously. I told her to get the f*ck out of my life and get her sh!t out. Tired of her bullsh!t.
Mr. Clown said:
Sorry to hear that also, I think you need to care about your child now. Try not to confront her or him, just don't give a crap for the well being of your child (that needs to be your primary focus from now on).
Cheers man and good luck.
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Archer said:
Wow that's harsh man. Sorry to hear it. If there was no kid involved I'd say you're lucky to have found out, but that's just wrong on the little one. What a role model Mummy's gonna be
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Thank you both for hearing me out. Really appreciate the comments. Its good to talk to someone about something awful like this.
Make sure you don't sign that birth certificate until you get DNA confirmation that it's your baby.
I have a friend that got trapped and is paying child support on a child that's not his because he signed (acknowledged) that the child was his.
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Above&Beyond™ said:
Yeah, I really ended up with something huh.. Nice way to start off the New Years.. F*ck that b!tch!
UPDATE: She's calling me telling me sorry and how she doesnt want me to leave.. What a dumb b!tch. Seriously. I told her to get the f*ck out of my life and get her sh!t out. Tired of her bullsh!t.
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That's going to be a hard line to take if she's pregnant with your child... sounds like she might be a part of your life for good now, one way or the other. :/
Still, sorry to hear it bro.
Yeah, it's a tough situation all round. As said above, you are going to be involved in her life now for many, many years, so as Mr Clown said you need to forget your anger towards them because the little one is the most important thing.
Obviously, I agree with Android300ZX that a DNA test is a wise precaution.
Just one pertinent question: Are you sure it's your kid?
One thing to say: She's only sorry because she got caught. Ditch the b*tch bro, plenty of other chicks out there.
also MAKE SURE U RECORD everything when it come time to back what u need ex tv,couch,phone,printer,computer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkt7Dx_uK5Y SHE DA CHEATING HO*
Its cheaper to keep her. Eff child support. My dad had to go through it 7, yes that's right, SEVEN times.
-My life is a shooting range, people never change-
watt9493 said:
Its cheaper to keep her. Eff child support. My dad had to go through it 7, yes that's right, SEVEN times.
-My life is a shooting range, people never change-
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This statement really pisses me off. One of my employees always says it all the time. It is not about what option is less expensive...it is about what makes you both happy.
You both need to have a heart to heart and decide if you want to make things work or if it is best to separate ways. Take it from someone who was married for 6 years with someone who didnt seem like he wanted to be there...in the end, I was tired of being in love with a man that didn't seem to feel the same about me and we were divorced. Now I am a single mom and things are much better off.
Examine your relationship now before you get to involved. Your baby will be best with 2 parents who love each other, rather then 2 parents who only stay together for the kid.
I agree you should catalog everything that you had pre-relationship with her. It's not marriage but things can go south very fast. I also agree with who ever posted about not signing the birth certificate until you know 110% sure that the baby is yours. I had a girlfriend who was messing around with other guys behind my back when she got pregnant (found that out after we went through everything). Good luck bro
Damn... Sorry to hear that bro
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Hey man, altough you think this is the end of the world, it isn´t. Let your friends and family comfort you, that life goes on.
That will be a prolonged pain. Find time to spend totally away from her to heal.
I'm gonna go back on what I previously said, after thinking about it some more. We've all made mistakes - I've made tons of them! If you care enough about the girl to be planning a family and marriage with her then maybe it's worth at least seeing what happens.
It's easy for someone not in the situation to knee-jerk but what do we know about how you two really feel about each other? Nothing.
Just use this place to vent and see our responses, then ignore them all completely and do what's best for you, your misses and the little one. Just be honest and you can't go wrong.
I usually don't repeat myself but:
-Make sure you get a DNA test!
-A lot of females use that (I'm pregnant) against a guy to keep him. It may very well be true but be careful.
-Record everything! Make a backup on Gmail. I would use Google Voice and have Google Voice be your primary voicemail. If she calls you and leaves a voicemail it will get saved to Google Voice where you can download it to your desktop and keep it on file.
-Take most if not all the things she says to you with a grain of salt.
-Make sure you don't end up looking like the deadbeat that just picked up and left. They tend to make themselves look like the victim to their friends and family.
-If the child is yours take care of your business and appreciate them because they are pure.
-If you find it in your heart to forgive her make sure you really forgive her and not bring it up when you get into the occasional argument.
I have experience in this. My GF cheated on me twice. The first time she would go out with her "girls" (multiple instances of partying with her "girls" and coming back late in the AM) and I found out she was going out with a guy that I knew who was in our circle of friends. She would cut school and hang out with this guy all the while I was paying for her education. She doesn't work or hasn't in the 4 years we've been together because I took care of everything as a man. The second time I caught her was on her birthday when I came home early (unannounced) from work to surprise her and caught her leaving the neighbors house and overheard her on the phone discussing the events with her BFF. I couldn't forgive her because the thought of me seeing this guy's car every day and the fact that I know he's be laughing at me from behind the confines of his home taking me for a sucker. The only reason I haven't pummeled his face in is because of my daughter.
I have a kid with her and I still live with her but we are only together for the sake of my daughter. She graduates this month from school and will get a job in her field so we will sit down and discuss our arrangements and separation.
Just make sure you cover all your bases man.
*** Again, Do the DNA test!! Don't fall for that guilt trip she may put on your about you denying your child and not trusting her ***
They will use that against you and make you succumb to signing the certificate.
Hang in there man, it's tough. I think that you best pursue what's going to be the best for your son or daughter.
There is a test they can do for paternity during gestation, it determines gender among other things of the child, mostly done for at risk older mothers.
If in the end you find you are a father, ill tell you first hand (literally holding my Lil guy) its a feeling like no other. You've got to do what's best for your own, which will likely be to split. Your gf likely grew up on a household with a limited example of a father figure, and you certainly don't want your own kid to turn into the same type of person as her.
Yeah, DNA test seems good suggestion. Make sure wich base it came from. Also maybe ask for a ETA.
Oké, now go to Dr Phill or Jerry Springer. Last time i checked it was a technical forum.
Cheers
that my wife is having an affair. I can't tell my family, friends, or co-workers because they all know her and I'm trying to keep things normal for my kids. So I thought I would tell a bunch of near-strangers instead because I have to tell SOMEBODY! I'm ok, not going to do anything crazy or stupid, I just wanted to get it off my chest.
You should get her drunk and drop her off in the ghetto
austontatious said:
that my wife is having an affair. I can't tell my family, friends, or co-workers because they all know her and I'm trying to keep things normal for my kids. So I thought I would tell a bunch of near-strangers instead because I have to tell SOMEBODY! I'm ok, not going to do anything crazy or stupid, I just wanted to get it off my chest.
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hmm that really sucks man...
when are you going to tell her? eventually you have to...
dont do strange things , keep it up mate
Sometimes doing the right thing, is the hardest thing.
Stuff like this would me up from the inside, i respect people who take the well being of their family over themselves.
Keep strong man, dont let **** like this bring you down
Nexus s
iPad 3rd gen
And dont forget her to show where her stuff and bags are.. when you showed her that, show her where the door is.
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Are you 100 percent sure. This is some serious ****.
Sent from my Nexus S 4G using XDA
Wrong forum I know, but i'm sorry to hear about your wife. Are you absolutely sure? Someone close to me told his best friend his girl was cheating (lie) so he could be the one to comfort her and become her new guy...it worked. Be sure...btw do you still love her?
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Naw, I'm sure. I don't normally do this, but I felt like something was up, so I snooped her FB. Found a convo between her and this guy talking about their feelings for each other. She might not be banging him, but feelings are maybe worse.
I couldn't ever let my kids know anything - my parents used me and my sisters as weapons in their divorce, I won't do it.
I believe that you have to take some ownership if your significant other cheats - People cheat because they have a need that isn't being met. So I take some responsibility. It still feels a little like being punched in the stomach.
austontatious said:
Naw, I'm sure. I don't normally do this, but I felt like something was up, so I snooped her FB. Found a convo between her and this guy talking about their feelings for each other. She might not be banging him, but feelings are maybe worse.
I couldn't ever let my kids know anything - my parents used me and my sisters as weapons in their divorce, I won't do it.
I believe that you have to take some ownership if your significant other cheats - People cheat because they have a need that isn't being met. So I take some responsibility. It still feels a little like being punched in the stomach.
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"People cheat because they have a need that isnt being met" --> i completely agree with that!
You gotta talk it out.. and yess. The 2nd option is to show her the door..
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It wasn't me
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austontatious said:
Naw, I'm sure. I don't normally do this, but I felt like something was up, so I snooped her FB. Found a convo between her and this guy talking about their feelings for each other. She might not be banging him, but feelings are maybe worse.
I couldn't ever let my kids know anything - my parents used me and my sisters as weapons in their divorce, I won't do it.
I believe that you have to take some ownership if your significant other cheats - People cheat because they have a need that isn't being met. So I take some responsibility. It still feels a little like being punched in the stomach.
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Yes people do cheat cause they are missing something from the relationship, but that isn't your fault. If there was something wrong with your relationship it was both duty to sit and talk about it or maybe search for council. If there wasn't nothing wrong with the two of you, then it's her entire fault, and once again she had the duty to sit and talk with you about it.
And piece of advice, don't just patronize cause of the kids, it will be mush worse. Go to her, talk with her and explain what you just found out. After that both of you make a decision. In case of divorce, at least try to make it the most friendly as possible...
I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through...
I'm a very jealous man and even non issue things drive me insane.
Obviously you can't deal and live with her doing this and be a normal family forever... Take it one day at a time and think it through.
Maybe go see a Counselor or something to talk, many local counties have a department of health and human services where most services are free or low cost where they don't charge you to start and bill you according to your income.
It's very private and uplifting.
. I used them for aoda for some personal issues I had. If you need anyone to talk to, you can pm me.
Also if you have some type of cash or homes /property, please start checking out divorce attorneys and only attorneys that specialize in divorce, preferably a male firm.
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Also I found some things my gf lied to me about to my face multiple times about her past in her Facebook and when confronted months later after a long night together at the bar she still denied it until I said I saw it in her Facebook and the next thing was why are you going through my **** lol
It shouldn't of been a issue because it was her past but I knew she was lying and that was my issue.
Anyways sadly Facebook and other social networking is making this type of behavior easier.
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austontatious said:
Naw, I'm sure. I don't normally do this, but I felt like something was up, so I snooped her FB. Found a convo between her and this guy talking about their feelings for each other. She might not be banging him, but feelings are maybe worse.
I couldn't ever let my kids know anything - my parents used me and my sisters as weapons in their divorce, I won't do it.
I believe that you have to take some ownership if your significant other cheats - People cheat because they have a need that isn't being met. So I take some responsibility. It still feels a little like being punched in the stomach.
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their was a guy in Michigan who logged into his wifes email and found she was cheating on him... He was later arrested and charged... see this... he now faces 5 years and a felony so he may not be ever able to work again as felons are usually unable to get work.
http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/appeals-court-rules-husband-can-be-charged-criminally-for-reading-wifes-email/
---------- Post added at 04:00 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:57 AM ----------
dpeeps74 said:
It wasn't me
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http://youtu.be/cQ4axo9rmJY
also in some states like Indiana and Colorado adultery is illegal
On the books
Excerpts from state adultery laws:
South Carolina: “Any man or woman who shall be guilty of the crime of adultery or fornication shall be liable to indictment and, on conviction, shall be severally punished by a fine of not less than $100 nor more than $500 or imprisonment for not less than six months nor more than one year or by both fine and imprisonment, at the discretion of the court. ...‘Adultery’ is the living together and carnal intercourse with each other or habitual carnal intercourse with each other without living together of a man and woman when either is lawfully married to some other person.”
Minnesota: “When a married woman has sexual intercourse with a man other than her husband, whether married or not, both are guilty of adultery and may be sentenced to imprisonment for not more than one year or to payment of a fine of not more than $3,000, or both.”
North Carolina: “Fornication and adultery. If any man and woman, not being married to each other, shall lewdly and lasciviously associate, bed and cohabit together, they shall be guilty of a Class 2 misdemeanor: Provided, that the admissions or confessions of one shall not be received in evidence against the other.”
New Hampshire: “A person is guilty of a class B misdemeanor if, being a married person, he engages in sexual intercourse with another not his spouse or, being unmarried, engages in sexual intercourse with another known by him to be married.”
Google_Nexus said:
their was a guy in Michigan who logged into his wifes email and found she was cheating on him... He was later arrested and charged... see this...
http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/ap...e-charged-criminally-for-reading-wifes-email/
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The laws differ in each state and it's a real Grey area.
How do we know she didn't leave her fb open?
Some states allow call recording in court with only one party knowing.
. I believe in a relationship, let alone marriage, that everything should be open, accessible and on the table. but everyone is different.
. I personally would start some spy stuff. There are apps in the play store that secretly install and forward all texts received and sent and if it's your bill and your name on the account its legal.
It's your life and future, along with your children's lives at stake.
Need more information pm me for the app names.
Gps trackers are small and magnetic and are easily hidden.
If it's your car It's also legal.
It's your life.
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Sensitive guy strikes again. These online douchebags talk to and act like they care about ur wife's feelings, then talk em into some crazy affair. Then leaves her high n dry and she realizes she should be with you, for the kids. Put her out, dude, there's tons more that value family and true love more than she apparently does. Hasn't happened to me, but ive had some friends fall prey to "sensitive guy". But, you cant just blame him cud it takes em both to start it. Put her out while u still have some sanity. You'll feel great about it.
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mangohorse said:
Sensitive guy strikes again. These online douchebags talk to and act like they care about ur wife's feelings, then talk em into some crazy affair. Then leaves her high n dry and she realizes she should be with you, for the kids. Put her out, dude, there's tons more that value family and true love more than she apparently does. Hasn't happened to me, but ive had some friends fall prey to "sensitive guy". But, you cant just blame him cud it takes em both to start it. Put her out while u still have some sanity. You'll feel great about it.
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,, I also to fell prey to the quote unquote sensitive guy with my ex 4 years when we were having problems he would swoop in and act like he was caring, listening and whatever. She left and moved out of my place, when she tried to come back and I wasn't having it she was devastated, but I told her now she knew how I felt that entire week and what I did wrong, but it was nothing about me. What goes around comes back around.
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Things are not so easy as you guys put it. Yes it's a ****ed up situation, yes he has all rights to feel bad about it, but by no means he should loose his temper.
If it was me, I would pickup my things and move to a motel our something like that followed by an attorney visit to take care of the divorce. Thing is, there's kids involved, kids that I'm sure he loves. He must do things right to get the best for him and for his kids.
It's easy to talk when we are single, cause we can do pretty much what we want and send the consequences to the hell, not so much when we are married
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That really sucks man... just talk to her ask her what she want being with you...if her answer is negative better of divorcing her and find another wife that will love you and your children..
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DeuXGod said:
Things are not so easy as you guys put it. Yes it's a ****ed up situation, yes he has all rights to feel bad about it, but by no means he should loose his temper.
If it was me, I would pickup my things and move to a motel our something like that followed by an attorney visit to take care of the divorce. Thing is, there's kids involved, kids that I'm sure he loves. He must do things right to get the best for him and for his kids.
It's easy to talk when we are single, cause we can do pretty much what we want and send the consequences to the hell, not so much when we are married
Sent from my
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Yeah I definitely didn't say to do anything related to revenge or anger.
Just advised that he should get more proof and be 150% sure before he says anything. Then if is true, then go get that attorney to get all your affairs in order before the confrontation.
Also OP, I know this is none of our business, but has your relationship with her changed at all recently or anything? What about sex life? Is it the same? Worse?
Is she going out more, working "longer hours", or just acting suspicious?
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