Related
Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a
scotch and soda."
Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.
An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
'How long has what been going on?' said the man.
Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.
1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.
Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.
Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.
Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter?
Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.
Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much.
Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup?
Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.
Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?
Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.
lol, nice jokes and thx for sharing it.
I especially like the "how old is your father" one and the "dinner choices' one
Really GOOD jokes, im LMAO!!!!
thanx for sharin' buddy..
My turn...
Q: How many software developers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Sorry dude, that's a hardware problem.
A man walks into a bar with a haddock under his arm and asks "Do you sell fish cakes?".
"Sorry but no", comes the reply.
"That's a shame", says he, "It's his birthday".
Old joke but funny (and about the only clean one i know !)
A guy walks in to a bar, grabs a stool and orders a drink. He takes a few sips when suddenly he hears a small voice say "thats a nice shirt", he looks round but theres nobody sitting by him, so he thinks nothing of it and starts drinking again, a few minutes later he hears "oh what a great tie" again he turns but again there's no one about, the barman sees him looking about and asks "problem sir ?" the guy tells the barman he keeps hearing a voice, the barman smiles and says "don't worry mate its just the complimentary nuts"
Forum members...
How many forum members does it takes to change a light bulb?
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
5 to flame the spell checkers
3 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to
condemn those 6 as stupid
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is
perfectly correct
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.
How do I change a lightbulb?
You forgot the 6 that complain about the cost of changing a light bulb and want it done for free for them. And the 4 that tell the complainers "If you don't like the cost, then live in the dark."
...and the 287 that wait until the lightbulb has been changed and then ask when the next lightbulb will be fitted
Re: Lightbulb
You Lightbulb guys are amazing, one gotta look at the extent of your imagination, hats off to u, buddies. Love to b a part of this community.
Adieu..
Lightbulb...
...and then 1 weirdo (me) will post about what happed to the lightbulb when he got the mad idea of shocking the lightbulb with a taser gun before fitting it... hehe, I looks freakin cool guys, the electricity runs up and down between the wires and you can see little flames on each side!!
rohitsharman said:
You Lightbulb guys are amazing, one gotta look at the extent of your imagination, hats off to u, buddies. Love to b a part of this community.
Adieu..
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Hehe, I love my imagination and it loves me.. mix that with my signature (see below) and you'll be well on your way to a very interesting and fun filled life!!
It's an honour for me to also be part of this community!!
Addicted...
You know you are addicted to the Internet when...
You kiss your girlfriend's home page.
Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.
All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: 28.8...ISDN...cable modem...T1...T3.
And even your night dreams are in HTML.
You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
You start introducing yourself as "Jim at I-I-Net dot net dot au
Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never had heart problems before.
You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue when it happened.
You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.
Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
All of your friends have an @ in their names.
When looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.
Your dog has its own home page.
You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.
You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.
You don't know the sex of three of your closest friends, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months.
You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.
You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.
Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."
You get a tatoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape 2.01 or higher."
You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP...because you never log off.
The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg.
You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.
Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.
As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.
py2o|\|oI|) said:
You know you are addicted to the Internet when...
You kiss your girlfriend's home page.
Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.
All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: 28.8...ISDN...cable modem...T1...T3.
And even your night dreams are in HTML.
You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
You start introducing yourself as "Jim at I-I-Net dot net dot au
Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never had heart problems before.
You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue when it happened.
You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.
Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
All of your friends have an @ in their names.
When looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.
Your dog has its own home page.
You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.
You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.
You don't know the sex of three of your closest friends, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months.
You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.
You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.
Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."
You get a tatoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape 2.01 or higher."
You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP...because you never log off.
The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg.
You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.
Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.
As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Good one, mate.
I think, i already have some of these symptoms in me..
....
rohitsharman said:
Good one, mate.
I think, i already have some of these symptoms in me..
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Then there's a good chance that you also have the following symptoms...
You can't sit through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz.
You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends", but you forget to send your father a birthday card.
In computer shops, you eavesdrop on a salesman talking with customers, butt in to correct him and spend 20 minutes answering the customers' questions, while the salesman stands by silently, nodding his head.
You back up your data every day.
On holiday, you read a computer manual and turn the pages faster than those who read John Grisham novels.
You go to trade shows and map out your path of the exhibit hall in advance. But you can't give someone directions to your house without looking up street names.
You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon.
You are so knowledgeable about technology that you feel secure enough to say "I don't know" when someone asks you a technology question instead of feeling compelled to make something up.
You understand all these jokes.
If so, technology has taken over your life. We suggest you go lie under a tree and write a book.... and don't use a laptop!!
….I myself have a few of the above mentioned symptoms and it’s nothing to cause feelings of unworthiness, in fact I’m actually damn proud of it because that is what sets us apart from the human race, we’re part a breed with unique minds that surpasses those of normal beings and that makes our way of living much more advanced…. The end.
In computer shops, you eavesdrop on a salesman talking with customers, butt in to correct him and spend 20 minutes answering the customers' questions, while the salesman stands by silently, nodding his head.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
I do that at Best Buy all the time. They should higher smarter people!
py2o|\|oI|) said:
Then there's a good chance that you also have the following symptoms...
You back up your data every day.
You are so knowledgeable about technology that you feel secure enough to say "I don't know" when someone asks you a technology question instead of feeling compelled to make something up.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
ha ha ha, i liked the 2nd one, and i do take a backup everyday.
My girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home
Tech Support...
The tech support problem dates back to long before the industrial revolution, when primitive tribesmen beat out a rhythm on drums to communicate:
This fire help. Me Groog
Me Lorto. Help. Fire not work.
You have flint and stone?
Ugh
You hit them together?
Ugh
What happen?
Fire not work.
Make spark?
No spark, no fire, me confused.
Fire work yesterday.
You change rock?
I change nothing
You sure?
Me make one change.
Stone hot so me soak in stream so stone not burn Lorto hand. Small change, shouldn't keep Lorto from make fire.
*Grabs club and goes to Lorto's cave*
*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*
Hello thought i'd put it all together to make it easier to read im still adding but feel free to help add to it
if you cant tell im bored :/ btw also added txt file if you want to add then re upload in []'s is extra info or bits i added to make sense in ()'s is things that were there but don't make much sense
Edit: quite offended by some of the iPad comments on here as im using my ipad for the story and pc for typing
The fat man ran twenty miles round and round until he fell and went to rehab for
falling then he got up and started to dance like a chinpanzee with a very very large
pen in his left pocket, then went to mexico where he dated a rather nice banana in
pinstripes who was suspiciously not what she wanted to eat.
Whilst that's happening far far away on a distant planet where the came back
from the plastic beach geting blown by a mexican guy using a very large thread
closing moderator who closed a very sticky situation.
"Get yourself into a mental rehab" Mcintyre was singing, to an iphone, then found XDA
whilst browsing porn and did stuff with his tiny girl friends hand which was also
another name for a transforming robot which has the power to transform and split into
a HUGELY big piece of junk, which is worthless. Sell it quickly otherwise it will be
an iPhone, then your buggered, unless you dance to the biggest rom chef here whilst
chugging some delicious apple juice, which you made trying to forget about your Apple
with a worm.
Her big headahe caused me agro deep inside my thought about going to get some new
super powers so i can fly to a place where stories end but they don't and continue to
be exruciatingly long when all i want is to smash an iphone over something realy a
work of art like WP7S.
Sink or swim like Captain Planet when he go crying like a dirty girl trying to find
a Golden HD2 party in vegas that had a funny thing attatched [PAGE 10] used for
blowing small little holes in walls and a train that stopped in the middle of the
intergalactic track which was littered with broken iphones which she always hated.
Dark cloudy skies only on Wednesdays or possibly Mondays when there is a spaceship
that used humans for thousands of years as an army to stop apple from taking over
Microsoft Windows Mobile because I love this amazing invention.
Chips glorious Chips wich i threw at your mum with a hot dog in a hallway and
slipped into ROM cooking frenzy but my device dropped into a pile of stinky rotting
apples which i'll eat after, whilst laughing at steve jobs who's such a smoking weed
dude who likes unicorns roasted with sauce on a shiny just washed underpant.
It's about time to watch 'The annoying Orange' advert thats should die very slowly
whilst creating non-lactoseintolerant cheese for his girl friend who likes things
bigger kind of like my big ego [PAGE 15] which also likes tobasco sauce on chilli
con carni and fish and chips in a house with no windows or any apples just palm and
android. Palm was bought by apple machintosh, a stupid brand who has milkshakes and
many cows.However, The cows like to smoke some candy ciggarets on the xda portal and
learn about how to ride starships into orbit whilst eating crispy Kentuck Fried
Chicken and then a big mac attack with fries and mcnugget grenades,whoppers, and
lemonade.
Meanwhile the starship crashed on steve Martin, not jobs, in the market on a sale.
Meanwhile the cockroach was singing with History Maker by Delirious and also with
post man pat, [who] squated and shat on the ipad, which was worse than a frickin
android and palm bad buisnes plan or better put Poop in a pan.
"4 Words bro" said Fallen Spartan laughing his head, Shooting the Armeter with her
hand and then jumped [PAGE 20] out of bed. What a voyage! What a Dream! to the other
side of the world through a wormhole chased the mole through the shoal of sweaty
clothes which then lead to the creation of the cyber phone which killed off
Steve jobs and Apple for good.
April fools day is the beggining to annoy people but its over, not next time because
the oldman died from non stop laughing of a joke about fishing boats and his desire
to feel free swimming in water [being] accused of man slaughter thinking why the
elephant ate a pink ribbon with a text in cuneiform script written in invisible,
about mac os4.0 and it's ability to crap without flushing the toilet and smell like
a decade old.
A new millennium with a giant appetite for apples didn't fill my pocket with lots.
Brush your teeth with a good and very brown chocolate mars bar that everyone hated
[PAGE 25]like an iphone, that people threw in the loo that was nasty just like poo
and like wee little green men [that] seem to run little leprachauns who are evil
No flights allowed due to ash and plane crashes which happened to no one any where.
How's this story going on untill now please advice, which i know makes no sence
but i don't involve myself in any meaningfull conversation [because it] would be
fruitless because he loved all the double posts [because it] help to increase
my post count so i can get 300 posts then get more, nothing to post because a
mod will make you cry for mama.(What the hell are we talking [about] in this thread?
(Simon posting crazy, pimple or boil?, for food or increased post count, no more
flashing, my eyes hurt so i need [to] go to specsavers and get a cool pair of Orsis
sunglasses, Please ban simon [PAGE 30] just because he is quadrupling his post count
haha)
(Feel like puking on this forum because it's something, something green yellow and
blue and that douche called me noobie as well all were once smoke to much simon
posts noncense he wont quit and keep posting read this post Please ban simon second
the motion y'all are mean we are not yes you are why you little amazingly handsome
person you wish buddy like the other no0b that went looking 4 a girlvery very
unlikley he gets love,in his dreams likley to be wet beond measure unless with a
rulerGramatical error encountered stop replying to "the frog went" [Nice try to
start the story again there by M_T_M ] everything i post no frog reply? whadaya
mean by frog)
"Anyway how are you doing today?" "I'm going to make out with your left hand"
also with my HD2 that i use for cooking dinner for my [PAGE 35] beautiful
HTC device.
Rock around the clock, 1 o'clock , no [it's] actualy 3, [oh wait] or maybe 4
when i went to kick (the) steve jobs because of his job trying to build a barbie
house out of iPad's on a piece of broken cardboard whichh happened to have a
HTC HD2 in it, [although] that was broken.
(i Hate braces by XDA forum)
Recieving a punch right at the nose of your very first wife "arhhhhhh~~!!!~!!"
she shout[ed] "pull it out" and kiss my three yellow zucchinis in my hand that i
punch[ed] you [with] in a private place leaving me unconcious because it's big.
(bad grammar again, btw afaic imnsho, speaking in tounges, with avatar accent)
Whilst texting friends from holy tree to a Wower ( Out of idea's hi mr.clown)
and Master Yoda, Shower he took in his pants, a dangerous weapon lurks waiting
for the use on (a hot laptop) an innocent person [and] an elderly woman
who was hot [PAGE 40] he then lol'ed at the age of 85.
Enjoy living in college, this big thing he found yesterday was round and long,
kind of smelly like a soccer ball, or baby even.
Keep her happy for 48 hours, (and) [also] the baby cried for candy that was
spicy and very sweet according to her tounge [which was] used for collecting
more samples, which enhances recreational activities during practice on
monday evenings, running around naked in his house.
(Dang your fast, your just old, but better looking, you wish @ , the age of
50 whilst im only 15 and good looking Beat that, bed ridden always, im sexy
and amazing and every one loves me, high on crack (obviously) and this old
, ignored by old)
The man mentioned in the OP is my bestfriend and also my dress is stained red
like those in my closet that look awful to me and (rock roll animal)
(a mi no me gusta rock musica) potatoes and goats.
[PAGE 45] like llamas and french calendar cookies who enjoy a good cup of
my new senior member memberness.
(that's cheating dude, that's completley right)
Once upon a time there was ( i like desire, i like me, sense made none
mocking you are, forgive me peace, i love u 2,)
Old school stuff is just a joke today from a clown who's named Bozo,
or Mr.Pennywise who makes funny jokes of lemons out of his list of
victims and People magazine [whilst] sharpening his knife [and]
gutting [a] big deer, thinking about stuff [like] the new iphone 4
(random iphone reference??) that was trashed by a gnome.
"Drink more beer" "Out of rum?"
(needs some posting, stop double postingn stop stopping me, you old man, why
i oughta)
Why don't you run like hell outa this website and [then] rush back because of
ORUD.
(whoever that is??, this still going??, amazingly yes continue,Anyway
where were we?, playing this game [PAGE 50], an ORUD is
obessesive Rom updating dissorder, game in overtime , or rolling ur dum butt,
that 3 plus,learn to count,Going party now, well deserved Orb,
arriving from party, welcome back orb.)
Nite, work tomorow,dance all night sleep
all day, Now @ work, i saw something /"\ hahaha, very mature indeed, and sometimes
childish, with some new direction of thinking, whil task 29 phone, when your strange,
strange what galaxys???, thats goors lyrics,obscure reference now, Nonsense funny
thread,)
Miliz is old (why you little) but wise enough to fry squirrels and eat them and
[then give] (gave) them to my hackintosh.
(yo quireo un Hackintosh,) one fine day,( with old men, what the hell, just happened
here?,) withh all this, insane music playin whilst vigrously touching a bald eagle
on a tree branch eating raw monkey flesh till [THE] (he) (grammatical error above)
teacher flunkeed (you) [him] whilst drinking something he doesnt like [PAGE 55]
Reserved for more
One more here
And one more to be safe (almost 200 pages in 4 posts if its completed
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahhaahahahaaaaaaa
Well don Macarony!!! Keep it up
We can have a best seller with that story.
Mr. Clown said:
We can have a best seller with that story.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
We should make a book out of it....i would buy it
Sent from my ADR6300 using XDA App
pretty f'n' funny.
good day.
hehe yeah publish it nd call it the story of off topic XDA or somthing better starting to some more just got back in
Update now got to page 50 !!!!
bracket () = junk
not mentioning names but it's mostly OG (guests i think), M_T_M and simon_WM just metioning
and were at 1585 words it could almost be a book and 8793 letters
(that might be incorect becaue ive tried 3 they all give me dif results )
Page 55
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
MacaronyMax said:
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
page 55 is the page where i first come in to the three word story!!!!
lol of topic a sec but how did you change your name ??
MacaronyMax said:
lol of topic a sec but how did you change your name ??
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
i contacted @mikechannon and asked him to do it for me!
Cool thanks
okay I admit that I'm a little bit bored right now. how about some jokes or funny stories? I found that really funny jokes always make my day. I'm sure all people loves funny stuff...why not sharing it to everybody else here? here is my version, and I'm looking forward to yours!
this joke is a rather old one but it makes me laugh every time.
*The Lone Ranger*
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.
After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says,
'Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see? '
'The Lone Ranger replies,
'I see millions of stars.'
'What that tell you?' asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says,
'Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of
Galaxies & potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.
Theologically
The Lord is all-powerful & we are small & Insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful Day tomorrow.
What's it tell you, Tonto?'
Tonto shout :
'You dumber than buffalo .
It means someone stole the tent.'
LOL I like that one. This one manages to get a chuckle out of at least one person every time:
How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to change a light bulb?
Wanna go ride bikes?
Sent from my Droid Incredible running CM7.0.3.
Hey guys.
Something horrible happened to me today.
Here goes: Me and my other two friends, Adrian and Argelio were riding our bikes for like an hour outside. We rode everywhere and had no problems with anyone.
We turn at a school where we see a group of 5 kids all dark clothed and looking a little cholo. We ignore them and I'm just talking to my friend when suddenly we all hear the word ******. I just laughed and said "I love you too" they stop and all of them turn around and said something so we just ignored them. About 50 feet away now from them we were about to turn the corner and I decide to scream "I love you too" because all I was hearing was talking and screaming from them. WE suddenly see two of them on a bike and one running. Towards us.
We start peddling faster and like another 100 feet from them.......the damn bike chain gets loose so my friends are on their bikes and I have to run like 1/2 mile to my house with the damn bike on my side. My heart was pounding and I just kept running. We go to my house and this time I call my sister out thinking she might know some of them....turns out they're all in gangs and had knifes with them so I told her if she could come with us and talk to them....we went again and found them at a park...all of a sudden my sister and my friends all say.."RUN!" They want you so run, don't look back, they're gonna kill you. I started laughing and thinking "THIS ISN'T REAL" So I stayed thinking I could confront them and try to talk but one of them was just running at me saying. "Come on 1 on 1 pu**y, come, right here right now b*tch. I said, "I just wanted to say Hi" Now I though to my self ...Do I wanna live or get jumped and get rushed to the hospital....LIVE So I took all of my friends' advice and just rode. Luckily I run track and cross country so I had wayy more stamina than them..I go around the neighborhood and hide at home for a while....you might be thinking but cant you 10th grade friends beat them up?....no there was only 1 my age and the rest of my friends were like 12 year old because my real friends are lazy and play black ops......So they are no use to me in helping....
My friends and sister came back and told me "Alan you lucky son of a b*tch, my homeboy AJ called of his homeboys to chase you" "Your never bike riding without me"
So instead of what she said because it's confusing so I'm gonna tell you what she told me..
They were planning on all 3 of them jumping me..they all had knives and were probably gonna leave me dead in the street and flee themselves..
one of them (the one that was talking to me and wanted to fight me) has already killed 1 and was just released from jail...he is about my age and got kicked out of school because of all his gang stuff and smoking weed in the bathroomm
the second - AJ- he's on parrol and got kicked out of school too--he's 14
the 3rd Isaiah is some weed smoker that has been on probation and got kicked out of school too...
My sister then told me how as soon as they learned I was her brother they stopped.....and said if they ever saw me again..I better watch my back....
I'm not really scared...
They just freaked me out because they were horrible looking mexicanss
Well thats it!
Alanrocks15 said:
Hey guys.
Something horrible happened to me today.
Here goes: Me and my other two friends, Adrian and Argelio were riding our bikes for like an hour outside. We rode everywhere and had no problems with anyone.
We turn at a school where we see a group of 5 kids all dark clothed and looking a little cholo. We ignore them and I'm just talking to my friend when suddenly we all hear the word ******. I just laughed and said "I love you too" they stop and all of them turn around and said something so we just ignored them. About 50 feet away now from them we were about to turn the corner and I decide to scream "I love you too" because all I was hearing was talking and screaming from them. WE suddenly see two of them on a bike and one running. Towards us.
We start peddling faster and like another 100 feet from them.......the damn bike chain gets loose so my friends are on their bikes and I have to run like 1/2 mile to my house with the damn bike on my side. My heart was pounding and I just kept running. We go to my house and this time I call my sister out thinking she might know some of them....turns out they're all in gangs and had knifes with them so I told her if she could come with us and talk to them....we went again and found them at a park...all of a sudden my sister and my friends all say.."RUN!" They want you so run, don't look back, they're gonna kill you. I started laughing and thinking "THIS ISN'T REAL" So I stayed thinking I could confront them and try to talk but one of them was just running at me saying. "Come on 1 on 1 pu**y, come, right here right now b*tch. I said, "I just wanted to say Hi" Now I though to my self ...Do I wanna live or get jumped and get rushed to the hospital....LIVE So I took all of my friends' advice and just rode. Luckily I run track and cross country so I had wayy more stamina than them..I go around the neighborhood and hide at home for a while....you might be thinking but cant you 10th grade friends beat them up?....no there was only 1 my age and the rest of my friends were like 12 year old because my real friends are lazy and play black ops......So they are no use to me in helping....
My friends and sister came back and told me "Alan you lucky son of a b*tch, my homeboy AJ called of his homeboys to chase you" "Your never bike riding without me"
So instead of what she said because it's confusing so I'm gonna tell you what she told me..
They were planning on all 3 of them jumping me..they all had knives and were probably gonna leave me dead in the street and flee themselves..
one of them (the one that was talking to me and wanted to fight me) has already killed 1 and was just released from jail...he is about my age and got kicked out of school because of all his gang stuff and smoking weed in the bathroomm
the second - AJ- he's on parrol and got kicked out of school too--he's 14
the 3rd Isaiah is some weed smoker that has been on probation and got kicked out of school too...
My sister then told me how as soon as they learned I was her brother they stopped.....and said if they ever saw me again..I better watch my back....
I'm not really scared...
They just freaked me out because they were horrible looking mexicanss
Well thats it!
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you get a knife. why do you think i carry one?
watt9493 said:
you get a knife. why do you think i carry one?
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^ I don't even hang around anywhere shady, but I always have a knife, just in case. Its also convenient if something needs to be opened! Lol
Sent from my Droid Incredible running a random CM7 nightly.
You didn't bother calling 911? Or batman?
Sent from my SGH-T959 using XDA App
Why don't you get help from the nearest adult? Don't go get your sister, lol. Stop at the first door and ask an adult there for help.
I'd love to be sipping on a Miller watching Top Gear and some little kid bangs on my door for help! Seriously tho. Its the best thing to do, since that person will probably immediately call 911(or batman) and then you'll have all the help you need.
trolololol
Where do you live? Zacatecas?
gangsta wannabes dont mess with satanist or people who look satanic so i've never really had to deal with them so you might want to wear more black
Why do I like this thread more than the others you created?
Sent from my HTC Desire
M_T_M said:
Where do you live? Zacatecas?
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haha I don't live in Mexico..haven't been there in ten years.
I live in Texas. Houston/Pasadena.....just not in the ghetto parts
mostly in deer park
this has to be the most awesome off topic post I have ever seen
SteveG12543 said:
^ I don't even hang around anywhere shady, but I always have a knife, just in case. Its also convenient if something needs to be opened! Lol
Sent from my Droid Incredible running a random CM7 nightly.
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Like steve. Just keep one for emergencies. And when the sh!t hits the fan, be glad you have it
ADR6300
This has happendd a couple times to us. We've had the local gang "get off" on us and oh man is it a scary experience. Being outnumbered, outaged and having to defend your own. My best friend has had a knife pulled at his stomach, I've almost gotten jumped for a blue bike. My advice is don't let them intimidate yOu. Next time some confronts you if they're unarmed don't say anything back, take flight immediately. Use all your brute force and aim for his jaw. His buddy's won't do a dam thing trust me on this one.
Alex530 said:
This has happendd a couple times to us. We've had the local gang "get off" on us and oh man is it a scary experience. Being outnumbered, outaged and having to defend your own. My best friend has had a knife pulled at his stomach, I've almost gotten jumped for a blue bike. My advice is don't let them intimidate yOu. Next time some confronts you if they're unarmed don't say anything back, take flight immediately. Use all your brute force and aim for his jaw. His buddy's won't do a dam thing trust me on this one.
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So your not intimated by a local gang, but your intimated by a ghost? Lol wtf?
Yeah well not gonna lie I'd be more scared of a ghost also...
Still this was a bad ass thread.
Vibrant users have the best threads in off- topic!
Ah, the experience...
First of all, having a knife is pointless and gets you into more trouble than it's worth with school authorities.
Secondly, I fight dirty. Jaw? Please, the groin is more reachable.
Thirdly, and I don't teach this enough, is to learn to sacrifice your off-hand (left, as usual) to displace the opponent's weapon and groin him hard with your knee. Learn to deal with downward stabs, upward stabs, and swings. A weapon is useless at closer to arms-length, and that is great reason to learn Krav Maga or Muay Thai (I know a bit of the latter).
Fourthly, don't pick a fight you can't win.
My worse experience was being ganged up by a bunch of kids my age. About six of them, I believe. They circled me in the park and hit me from the back. In the end, I chased one of them down and beat him to a near pulp. His friends decided that running away from me and hitting my back was preferable to fighting directly, so I chased the slowest of the bunch and trashed him. Of course, they never bugged me again.
Another experience with knives was when I used my right hand (wrong hand) to fight off a knife attacker. Bled all over the place despite him not hitting an artery. Apparently, I broke his wrist and cracked his skull over the incident. As usual his friends left him high and dry when it got tough.
I'm from Argentina, and, just for the record, living here it's like being a marine in Irak, but, maybe, without the AK47 and all the Lady Gaga stuff XD
All I can say is don't mess with sakai4eva.
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iynfynity said:
All I can say is don't mess with sakai4eva.
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Punk(s) deserved it. Of course, I whined like a baby about my injuries after the fight, but during?
Sweet sweet adrenaline and natural painkillers.
Of course, I've mellowed a lot since then.
sakai4eva said:
Punk(s) deserved it. Of course, I whined like a baby about my injuries after the fight, but during?
Sweet sweet adrenaline and natural painkillers.
Of course, I've mellowed a lot since then.
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Yes yes adrenaline, love that feeling. It's like you got all the strength and take down anyone you see. Lol
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duboi97 said:
So your not intimated by a local gang, but your intimated by a ghost? Lol wtf?
Yeah well not gonna lie I'd be more scared of a ghost also...
Still this was a bad ass thread.
Vibrant users have the best threads in off- topic!
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We've had run ins with them more times then I've flashed my phone. After a while you get used to it.
Sent from my GT-I9000 using XDA App
Just tell them you got rid of your blackberry and they should leave you alone
Sent from my SilverBullet 'HTCDesireZ running CM7'
Hey guys.
I started watching this from its first episode. I like the "what is actually going on here? " feel to it. I stopped watching it every week though cuz now, out of a thirteen episode season, only 2 episodes are dedicated to the bigger picture of the show. The there's 11 filler episodes which is just a man in a dog suit, ****ting on elijahs character for 30 min.
Which is my main problem with the show. I don't wanna watch 30 episodes of a guy acting like a dog just to get to the few episodes that explain things.
I have a few theories though now that I've caught myself up with season 3....
Wilfred is ryans guide through a sort of purgatory due to the over dose being successful. However, I don't like that theory since it's the first thing people think of.
The one in leaning toward the most is, he's like the trickster gods throughout religion.
He creates mayhem, because he enjoys it.
There's two ways that could go though, one, it benefits Elijahs character in some way... Or two, it doesn't. But with the last episode of season 3, with the drawings and his dad and the symbol and the statue....I think it's obvious that he's some metaphysical type of entity.
The statue had the typical Joker type face on him too.
Then there's Bruce. Who im beginning to think is some animal too. Maybe a cat. But I don't know why he wouldn't have a costume on too. But I don't think Bruce is a person in the real world.
I like the concept of this show a lot. However, I hate that the main concept is usual only covered in the first and the last two episodes of each season.
Contemplating getting the S5....
SaintCity86 said:
Hey guys.
I started watching this from its first episode. I like the "what is actually going on here? " feel to it. I stopped watching it every week though cuz now, out of a thirteen episode season, only 2 episodes are dedicated to the bigger picture of the show. The there's 11 filler episodes which is just a man in a dog suit, ****ting on elijahs character for 30 min.
Which is my main problem with the show. I don't wanna watch 30 episodes of a guy acting like a dog just to get to the few episodes that explain things.
I have a few theories though now that I've caught myself up with season 3....
Wilfred is ryans guide through a sort of purgatory due to the over dose being successful. However, I don't like that theory since it's the first thing people think of.
The one in leaning toward the most is, he's like the trickster gods throughout religion.
He creates mayhem, because he enjoys it.
There's two ways that could go though, one, it benefits Elijahs character in some way... Or two, it doesn't. But with the last episode of season 3, with the drawings and his dad and the symbol and the statue....I think it's obvious that he's some metaphysical type of entity.
The statue had the typical Joker type face on him too.
Then there's Bruce. Who im beginning to think is some animal too. Maybe a cat. But I don't know why he wouldn't have a costume on too. But I don't think Bruce is a person in the real world.
I like the concept of this show a lot. However, I hate that the main concept is usual only covered in the first and the last two episodes of each season.
Contemplating getting the S5....
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Sorry, but I have to disagree. To me, Wilfred is Ryan's saviour. Yes everything looks bad, but he always helps him. There have been no end of episodes that start out with Wilfred saying something seemingly innocuous, but then when he repeats it again at the end of the episode it all makes sense and it turns out he was right all along.
I think Wilfred is Ryan's guide and possibly Ryan has been dead all along, like a 6th Sense meets Jacob's Ladder kind of world.
The American version has that long-running back story, but other than that it's staying pretty true to the original. Did you ever watch the Australian one? I'd highly recommend it, and it has nothing to do with the American storyline so it won't spoil anything. You can clearly see the evolution from that to the US version, and that evolution is the attempt to explain Wilfred. The Australian one is pretty much a buddy programme, with a farting, swearing dog.
I love Wilfred and can't wait for the 4th season to start!
Yeah but that's the part of the show I don't like. If he is some metaphysical gaurdian Angel, then why is most the season him acting like a stupid dog. I think they should stay true to the deeper storyline about what's really going on.... Instead of only dedicating 3 episodes to the story, and filling the rest with fart jokes. One things for sure, Wilfred is not being honest. And so far, it seems he's getting worse and worse. For the better eventually...idk
Contemplating getting the S5....