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chuck norris

share your fav chuck norris pictures
http://www.problematik.net/wp-content/chuck_norris_nunchucks.jpg
http://www.alchemicoblu.it/images/chuck._wow.jpg
http://www.roundhousekick.de/wp-content/uploads/2006/02/azuregos.jpg
http://www.toadking.com/6x9=42/Chuck Norris 4th Wise Man.jpg
http://themolitor.files.wordpress.com/2006/04/Chuck Horse.jpg

How about a load of quotes as to how hard Chuck is? Here's one for starters:
Chuck Norris doesn't push himself up when doing a press up.....he pushes the whole World down.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

imagine that floppy with WHOLE internet on it(Chuck's of coz...).

Chuck Norris facts to make your Friday afternoon go faster than a Chuck Norris roundhouse....ok, nearly as fast. Nothing is faster than a roundhouse from the man himself.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING
Comn on we need more....

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Chuck Norris can mathematically make two wrongs equal a right.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
On the eighth day, God said, "Let there be Chuck Norris.", but put him into cryogenic sleep after he roundhouse kicked twelve Adams to death.
A midget, a rabbi, and a horse all walk into a bar. Ah, **** it. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked all their asses.
In a fight between Batman and Superman, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris thinks that MacGuyver is a complete prick because he doesn't have facial hair.
Fearing Chuck Norris to the point to shaking is an actual disease. Michael J. Fox is a sufferer. It is called Parkinson's Disease because calling it Norris' Disease would cause a worldwide pandemic
Chuck Norris rejected an invitation to Vin Diesel's house to play Xbox 720 and Playstation 4 as he was busy playing his Xbox 1080 and Playstation 5.
America didn't win the American Revolution. Chuck Norris beat the British by himself. Drunk.
It is common knowledge that there are three sides to the force: The Light Side, The Dark Side, and Chuck Norris.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
God wanted 10 days to create the world. Chuck Norris gave him 6.
the taliban had laws that every male had to have beard this was to make the afgan people look more like chuck norris!
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas
150,000 Americans die from Chuck Norris related accidents every year.
Steven Hawkings was the only man to outsmart Chuck Norris, he got what he deserved.
http://www.intrawebnet.com/chucknorris/images/ChuckNorrisSuperkicks1.gif
http://www.intrawebnet.com/chucknorris/images/ChuckNorrisSuperkicks2.gif
pics from the new ps3 game which is the best game ever released made EA get out of the business because people will never play any other game again

Chuck Norris counted to infinity...twice

The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Ah Chuck Norris what a man. About 7 years ago I used to do a TV listings animation, one of my favourites was a homage to the man himself.
Every body kung foo fighting la la la lala la la
http://www.macguffinandshemp.com/ms_site/nutshell/way.html
Bad script but I felt I did my part to bring Chuck to a younger generation and keep the dream alive : )

its friday guy's. lets roll them out!

Funny Chuck Norris videos:
http://www.guzer.com/videos/chuck_norris_facts.php

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Not sure if it's a repeat but its my fav. C.Norris line. Would be quite an interesting "skill" to have to say the least...would work wonders during exam weeks.

Oldies but goodies hehe...
The magic word is please as in "please don't kill me", too bad Chuck Norris doesn't believe in magic.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.
A blind guy stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe and Chuck Norris yelled at him. The sound of Chuck Norris' voice enabled him to see. Unfortunately the first and last thing he saw was a fatal roundhouse kick to his face.
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
Chuck Norris delivers more male with one thrust of his pelvis than the U.S. Postal Service and the Pony Express have combined for the last 146 years.
Chuck Norris's sperm cures AIDS. He's now going around the world trying to make a difference.

Dinty said:
Oldies but goodies hehe...
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.
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Click to collapse
LMFAO....thats a good one

Man this chuck norris thing is f****d up. If all of these jokes are true, he should come here and hit my head against my keybo382ß32ß92udnapirhiehareuaipe*hfiuaphpapüa3ßß32ß979r799e7rfw*9uqj

Best Pizza Topping

my vote: meatballs

olives.....

1 vote for cheese

For me it needs tomato sauce and cheese........lol
Seriously though, I like it hot & spicy, so peppers, chillies, chicken & onions would do it for me....sometimes with extra sweetcorn or something like that
Then again, you just can't beat the classic margharita!!

Fresh dried tomatos, olives, cheese, & anchovies

Bacon. Lots of it.

Tomato, mozzarella, onions, mushrooms & pesto.
N1c0_ds said:
Bacon. Lots of it.
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Click to collapse
*Hiss*

Tunafish and onions

Pesto & mozzarella!

French fries (on a plain Jane Cheese pizza)...don't knock it 'til you've tried it.

sausage & green peppers
F'N YUM!

Bacon, Chicken, Onions, Feta, BBQ-sauce....!

chicken, bacon, red peppers, olives and mushrooms

hmmm...
Best single topping: Pepperoni
Best Topping Combination: X Pepperoni, Bacon, Meatballs

pepperoni would be a better contender if THICK CUT pepperoni was standard on pizza

Ok... we all know that the best answer is CHEESE, as said earlier.. but the best topping besides cheese is Pineapple, or "cube style" pepoeroni

Rusticana.

Definitely human appendages

I like sausages and tomato sauce !

JAguirre1231 said:
Definitely human appendages
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Click to collapse
I'm guessing that includes male genitalia.

Weirdest Movie You've Seen

What's the weirdest movie you've ever seen? For me, it's Outlander. It's about an alien that comes to Earth during the Middle Ages and teams up with Vikings to kill an alien dragon that stowed away on his ship.
Please include the title and a brief explanation of what's weird.
___
An army of pacifists can be defeated by one man with the will to fight.

A Scanner Darkly
Just because of the filming method.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0405296/plotsummary

The Human Centipede. Think about it..
Splice. Everything.
The Dark Crystal. A dark Jim Henson

Eternal sunshine on the spotless mind, no doubt about it

Human centipede is pretty weird but for me its going to be dumplings.
Bai ling is a sorceress of eternal youth who sells said youth to wealthy chinese women. Her secret? Dumplings stuffed with diced abortions.
See bai ling in other screenings including the crow and entourage.
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The Human Centipede
Creepy Shizzle http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvuopBG7tBc

Oh come on guys. There is a thread about weird movies and not a single mention of Japanese films?
Robo Geisha... nuff said.

Bad Boy Bubby. - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106341/
Seriously effed up...

A Scanner Darkly - classic Phillip K. ****
Bladerunner - another P.K.D.
A Clockwork Orange - Stanley Kubrick, nuff said
Dr. Strangelove - Kubrick again
Watchmen - alternate reality superheros
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas - ummm... Hunter S. Thompson
Soylent Green - It's people! People!
A Boy and His Dog - telepathic canine, underground society, Don Johnson

Human centipede looks just... wrong
Simon Says was a creeper!

How about movies that weren't intended to be weird but are (like Outlander). Because if you include intentionally weird movies, I'd have to say Ink. It's on Netflix instant and it's not bad.
___
An army of pacifists can be defeated by one man with the will to fight.

For me gamer and the human centipede. Gamer just too outta line and human centipede is just to yucky
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Favorite Music lyrics

Music is a very powerful and influential medium. What are Some of your favorite, influential, or unforgettable song lyrics?
Mine:
"Really love your peaches, want to shake your tree"
By Steve Miller Band

"I'm the real Macaroni you cheesy b*tch"
By Eminem

There she stood in the doorway; I heard the mission bell And I was thinking to myself, ’this could be heaven or this could be hell’ Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way.
Luckyly for me it turned out to be "Heaven".
The Eagles: "Hotel California"

Some people think I'm bonkers. But I just think I'm free. Man, I'm just livin' my life. There's nothin' crazy about me.
Dizzee Rascal-Bonkers
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Haha, I was actually planning on making a thread like this yesterday, but got sidetracked
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Today I didn't even have to use my A.K.
I got to say it was a good day.
Ice Cube - It was a Good Day.

Off the top of my head..
"We stoop so low to reach so high.."
U2 - Red Hill Mining Town

All of this song.

Thanksgiving!!

Hey everyone. Since thanksgiving is right around the corner I wanted to ask: what does your family do? We go to a cousins house and eat some sort of Mexican food (we are vegetarians).
I need to stop unintentionally stealing peoples sigs

Have some pizza
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