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So we had another fight about me spending too much time playing with and talking about android and phones. As long as cellphones don't come up in conversation we were the happiest couple in the world. But I finally broke up with her because I couldn't even think about android without her getting mad at me. And I figured I would just find a girl that shared my interest. But I just realized that there are ZERO females(at least in the state of alabama) that even know what android is. Should I quit looking now? Does anyone have any advice to find them(if they exist that is)?
I lol'ed so hard.
if this isnt a troll , ur a noob for not being able to control urself not to talk about ur fone
sounded like my wife ...picking a fight because too much time on xda and phones.... Well, you can move from your state
souljaboy said:
if this isnt a troll , ur a noob for not being able to control urself not to talk about ur fone
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Sorry you think I'm a noob, but I can control myself enough to not talk about it, but WHY should I? I'm going to look for a girl with common interest, and if I don't find anyone I will suppress my techie talk. But until I know that she doesn't exist, why would I change the kind of woman I would like to date?
So next time your off just supermanning hoes think about what a relationship should be about.
This is what I get for asking for girl advice on xda
LMAOO! If your serious, I really think you messed up BIG time! Call her now, apologize, and get off of XDA.
sorry to hear it bro. my wife also gets pissy when im on modding/hacking forums too much, but she'll get used to it eventually
I somewhat agree with Original Android.... if you usually get along, apologize and try to consider some of her interests. some people just dont get our devotion(addiction) to such things
as far as quitting XDA..... bad idea. maybe just set a specific time for this great site.
its all about compromise homey..... i hate you for making me think serious!! j/k
Had a fight here too for this very same reason...
Mr. Clown said:
sounded like my wife ...picking a fight because too much time on xda and phones.... Well, you can move from your state
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orb3000 said:
Had a fight here too for this very same reason...
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Click to collapse
Well my friend, it's time to negotiate . I did this with my wife, I agreed with her that I will spend some hours a week to be on the web and xda of course (while she's around). So both of us are happy since I comply with the terms when she's around ....but she's not always around you know.
Yes, time is not equal my girl says...
Anyway we should re negotiate a new way if possible
She's the one, I'm pretty sure of it
Original Android <3ers! said:
LMAOO! If your serious, I really think you messed up BIG time! Call her now, apologize, and get off of XDA.
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Ok first off, hope you are LOVING highschool and football still. And yes I messed up big time, she's truely a wonderful person. But I didn't have to call her, she called me and we came to a compromise. She said if I would buy her that "nexus thingy" and actually "teach" her what I was talking about, she thinks she would really enjoy learning about it. And in my mind it wasn't a compromise, I got exactly what I wanted..... oh wait I just spent $500 on an N1
griffincash said:
Ok first off, hope you are LOVING highschool and football still. And yes I messed up big time, she's truely a wonderful person. But I didn't have to call her, she called me and we came to a compromise. She said if I would buy her that "nexus thingy" and actually "teach" her what I was talking about, she thinks she would really enjoy learning about it. And in my mind it wasn't a compromise, I got exactly what I wanted..... oh wait I just spent $500 on an N1
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I'm going to be frank. Return that N1. The relationship is now headed in the wrong direction for the wrong reasons.
In your future relationships, if you're with your girl, be with your girl. Learn to compromise. Your partner's reaction to the particular behavior (i.e., dealing/talking Android) is ultimately just a natural reaction towards the frequency in which you exhibited it (i.e., excessively). Imagine if your partner asked you to accompany them to go shopping every day of the week for at least 3 hours each day. While you guys are shopping, she'll talk to you about every brand, and fashion, etc. Should she leave you because you aren't interested in her interests?
Your Android fetish is a hobby. There are more important things in life that you should be paying attention to. I'm not saying this girl is -the- one you'll be with for the rest of your life, but things like growing and improving social skills should take greater precedence than learning and keeping what's up with the latest and greatest on Cyanogen mods.
Take my advice for what it's worth to you. Just remember, at the end of the day, it's just a phone.
Im not returning the N1. I shouldn't have ever posted this thread. I know exactly what important things are in my life(what exactly did you even mean by that??). I'm going to stop this now because people don't and can't know every detail about our relationship and it is now being misinterpreted.
And it's not about roms or tweaks it's about the future of technology, which I think everyone can agree is rather important
well this is funny... you are trying to find a girlfriend on XDA ?
cupcake2301 said:
well this is funny... you are trying to find a girlfriend on XDA ?
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LOL, I lol'd big time.
Sent from my GT-I9000 using XDA App
PaulForde said:
LOL, I lol'd big time.
Sent from my GT-I9000 using XDA App
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So did I mate ! The OP should go to some dating fora or something why on XDA ! LOL !
fk, i had something like this too once, since then i didnt talk about phones that much anymore xD..
well but she knows now that this is like a hobby for me, and its not that bad when i talk about it from time to time...
hell we are techjunkies, but even we need to hold back with our tech **** when talking to a girl xD
(i knew that before, but, for example, i couldnt live with it, if my gf would buy an iphone.................XD)
griffincash said:
Im not returning the N1. I shouldn't have ever posted this thread. I know exactly what important things are in my life(what exactly did you even mean by that??). I'm going to stop this now because people don't and can't know every detail about our relationship and it is now being misinterpreted.
And it's not about roms or tweaks it's about the future of technology, which I think everyone can agree is rather important
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
You telling me that it's not about ROM or tweaks and that it is actually about the future of technology is really a bad attempt at justifying your hobby. This is even illustrated by the following clause when you feel the need to garner further support of your hobby by amassing the opinions of your fellow XDA members.
But nevermind that, good luck with the relationship. I do hope that things work out in the end.
daamn!!!
I usually dont talk about phones when Im with my girl... hell I've even visited xda less, since Im in a normal relations (not those in which I have to be responsible for everyf**king thing.. - had one of those about a year and a half ago)
anyways - just find something to talk about that is interesting for both of you + keeps your mind off the phones...
or if you can't you can get yourself off the xda, or you can always ask someone to ban you.. just kidding
so basically she had the bravery to say : $500 fone or no sammiches
and ur happy about it
One of our senior members, DaddieDiesel is in the hospital and has sustained some very serious injuries as of last night. I received a PM from his sister, as many of you may have, that he and his daughter were on a Daddy Daughter Valentine's Day date. They were walking across the road and were hit by a car. He shielded his little girl, and she isn't hurt too bad. When he took the blow for her, he took it hard. Many broken bones, a punctured lung, and a serious blow to the head when he hit the pavement. His condition is unknown, and he is currently unconscious in the ICU.
I don't know how many of you know him, but he's my friend. He has been there for me through all of my recent sadness... miscarriage and breakup of my long term relationship... calling and texting everyday just to make me laugh so that I don't fall apart. And even though I havent known him long... I feel like I've known him forever. He's my ChiTown, and I'm his ChuckTown. He's my friend, and I'm asking that you all please keep him, his little girl, and his entire family in your thoughts. Until he wakes up... I don't know what I'm gonna do without his daily calls, texts, and retarted ass picture mails he always sends just to make me smile. I'm not normally big on prayer... but I am now. For him.
UPDATE: FURTHER AND MORE DETAILED INFO FROM FAMILY ON DADDYDIESEL'S CONDITION
Dan sustained dislocations to his right hip and shoulder. 4broken ribs. Of which punctured his lung. Shattered his knee cap. Swelling in his brain from his head hitting so hard that it busted it open. His hand is badly swollen because he held his daughters head from also hitting the concrete. But after this mornings surgery we had a better outlook. He awoke for a bit confused at first because he didnt know where he was, but after we calmed him he immiediatly asked for his daughter.
Thank you for your kind words and let everyone know that he is doing better but not out of the woods yet. Still has a ton of swelling and it is still a concern.
Thank you for the prayers and either my sister or I will let you know more information as we can.
UPDATE 2.16.11:
Dan has been awake for longer periods. He still is unable to speak due to his breathing tube. When he does wake
he continues to be very confused and angry.It takes him a bit but he does realize where he is and seems to understand.
The first thing he does do is ask about his daughter by pointing to his tattoo of her. Which the doctors say is a good sign.
When we(dan's other sister and I)left this afternoon the doctors were hoping to remove his breathing tube later today.
The lingering concern is still the swelling but if you know my brother not much is gonna keep him down.
We have had great support from a couple of his rugby friends,his biker friends, and co-workers even to the fact of
taking time off work and picking my sister from the airport when she arrived.
For many years we all looked down on Dan for the things he did but we never realized how much he gave up of himself
for us. To this day all he says he did what he had to.Thank god our brother was so well organized as we were able to
get his passwords to his email and his account on the wonderful community you both belong to,and contact you and
his other friends.
It seems that you and Dan have a very special relationship and my sister and i decided to let you know a bit
about Dan. We snuck in Dan's laptop in and read to him his messages and the responses to the posting you started and
he was very moved. He also tapped your picture and put his hand to his lips. Thank you again and let everyone know that
have everyone who has prayed for our brother in our prayers as well.A Special thank you to the gentleman know as
Slayer69 as his messages were very kind.And too a very special thanks thank you for being such a beautiful person
and your wonderful support. We will let you know more as we know. thank you.
UPDATE 2.17.11:Dan had his breathing tube removed. He cant speak all that well and ended up
losing a molar.He has to try and write alot of what he wants to say.
But still a great sign. Tomorrow the plan on moving
him hopefully out of ICU. Also plan on getting him some movement
via therapy for his knee so it doesnt atrophy. We got his old
phone and will try to sneek it into him as he wants to get his messages,and make a few calls.
Its Dan being himself and nothing is gonna slow that guy down. He thinks he will be
out in time for his birthday next week. You know my brother
not much is gonna slow him down, apperantly not even getting hit by a car.
We all have our fingers crossed and know that all the prayers from everyone
on the website you and Dan belong to have helped. Thank you again from our
entire family. Dan sends his love to you especially.
UPDATE 2.18.11: Guess who just got a very personal update from the man himself? Me!! That's whassup. DaddieDiesel just called a few minutes ago and talked as long as he could before the meds started kicking in. He sounds like he got hit by a car! See... we can laugh about it now... lol. Got to, right? He is going to be fine, but in alot of pain as you can imagine. It was so good to hear his voice. When I saw "ChiTown" pop up on my caller ID... I almost cried. But enough about me... He says to tell ALL of you, "Thank you for all of your thoughts and support. I'm no hero, I'm just a Daddy. I do what I gotta do."
NOTE: Aight we gotta switch it up... flip the script right here since everything looks good for him now. Everyone here knows Dan's username here on XDA is DaddieDiesel. Fabulous. Call him what you will... DaddieDiesel, Dan, Double D... it's all good (except maybe that last one, he probably won't be feeling that one... lol) But I started this thread, and if you've read through all the updates... you've heard me call him ChiTown. So from here on out, all updates from ME specifically will be addressing him as such. Roll with it.
UPDATE 2.20.11:So where's whats new with this bad ass HERO named ChiTown. Most recent news from his equally bad ass sisters: His days are long, his nights are longer. Today will be his third day going through very, very painful physical therapy. He is pissy, they say... alot of swearing! But trust me... that's nothing new with ChiTown... lmao. The man has a mouth ALOST as dirty as mine. Tomorrow will be the one week mark since the accident. He hates hospitals more than most people who hate hospitals. His doctor continues to say its nothing short of a miracle that his head didn't split completely open when he hit the pavement. Yesterday's MRI results were looking good, which is awesome. And the doctors are happy with the way everything continues to be improving so rapidly. Now if he'd just get over this big ass knot on his head and grow some hair back where it had to be shaved to put him back together... then maybe he'd let this ChuckTown girl jack a plane and come say whassup...
Never heard of him, but i'll make sure to keep him in my prayers
Sorry to hear that...I wish him a speedy recovery....
He'll be in my prayer list. If you can talk to him, ask him to stay strong.
I hope everything works out for them. I am currently undergoing something myself so I understand how it feels. I hope the best for him and his family.
-There is a 35% chance that right now I'm on the toilet-
Although I don't know him I wish him the best in his recovery
I'm new here and so of course I don't know him, but I'll most definitely pray for him.
The selfless act of being brave even knowing the danger is my ultimate definition of courage, and I hope everyone else here will join me in agreement on that point.
The world is desperately in need of more brave and courageous heroes like Dan.
I'll pray for him.
I'll pray for him to recover and gain all strength.
Sent from my SGH-T959 using XDA App
hearing news like this is always upsetting and tough.
I will keep him in my thoughts and prayers.
Even though I don't know him I wish him the best of recovery. He gives me hope.
selflessness defines self.
with no personal connection i still offer him and his family the highest respect and deepest compassion. thanks op.
brtnygrey said:
One of our senior members, DaddieDiesel is in the hospital and has sustained some very serious injuries as of last night. I received a PM from his sister, as many of you may have, that he and his daughter were on a Daddy Daughter Valentine's Day date. They were walking across the road and were hit by a car. He shielded his little girl, and she isn't hurt too bad. When he took the blow for her, he took it hard. Many broken bones, a punctured lung, and a serious blow to the head when he hit the pavement. His condition is unknown, and he is currently unconscious in the ICU.
I don't know how many of you know him, but he's my friend. He has been there for me through all of my recent sadness... miscarriage and breakup of my long term relationship... calling and texting everyday just to make me laugh so that I don't fall apart. And even though I havent known him long... I feel like I've known him forever. He's my ChiTown, and I'm his ChuckTown. He's my friend, and I'm asking that you all please keep him, his little girl, and his entire family in your thoughts. Until he wakes up... I don't know what I'm gonna do without his daily calls, texts, and retarted ass picture mails he always sends just to make me smile. I'm not normally big on prayer... but I am now. For him.
UPDATE: FURTHER AND MORE DETAILED INFO FROM FAMILY ON DADDYDIESEL'S CONDITION
Dan sustained dislocations to his right hip and shoulder. 4broken ribs. Of which punctured his lung. Shattered his knee cap. Swelling in his brain from his head hitting so hard that it busted it open. His hand is badly swollen because he held his daughters head from also hitting the concrete. But after this mornings surgery we had a better outlook. He awoke for a bit confused at first because he didnt know where he was, but after we calmed him he immiediatly asked for his daughter.
Thank you for your kind words and let everyone know that he is doing better but not out of the woods yet. Still has a ton of swelling and it is still a concern.
Thank you for the prayers and either my sister or I will let you know more information as we can.
UPDATE 2.16.11:
Dan has been awake for longer periods. He still is unable to speak due to his breathing tube. When he does wake
he continues to be very confused and angry.It takes him a bit but he does realize where he is and seems to understand.
The first thing he does do is ask about his daughter by pointing to his tattoo of her. Which the doctors say is a good sign.
When we(dan's other sister and I)left this afternoon the doctors were hoping to remove his breathing tube later today.
The lingering concern is still the swelling but if you know my brother not much is gonna keep him down.
We have had great support from a couple of his rugby friends,his biker friends, and co-workers even to the fact of
taking time off work and picking my sister from the airport when she arrived.
For many years we all looked down on Dan for the things he did but we never realized how much he gave up of himself
for us. To this day all he says he did what he had to.Thank god our brother was so well organized as we were able to
get his passwords to his email and his account on the wonderful community you both belong to,and contact you and
his other friends.
It seems that you and Dan have a very special relationship and my sister and i decided to let you know a bit
about Dan. We snuck in Dan's laptop in and read to him his messages and the responses to the posting you started and
he was very moved. He also tapped your picture and put his hand to his lips. Thank you again and let everyone know that
have everyone who has prayed for our brother in our prayers as well.A Special thank you to the gentleman know as
Slayer69 as his messages were very kind.And too a very special thanks thank you for being such a beautiful person
and your wonderful support. We will let you know more as we know. thank you.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Well, it does seem like he didn't suffer any brain damage from the latest update. I'm sure that he'll make a full recovery!
Yay! What a miracle he survived!
So this has absolutely nothing to do with Android or anything...
So me and my wife have been together since freshman year in high school we are now 27.. have a 7 year old and a 1 month old. I love her.. and would never cheat on her..
A week or so ago I got a message from a cute chick on facebook saying she wanted to be my friend. I asked her why she said because she thought i looked cute in my pictures. I told her she wasn't so bad looking and we had a kind of flirty conversation. I did however tell her about my wife and kids and we talked about things like where we live and what not.. noting more than a PG conversation..
IT NEVER WENT ANY FARTHER THAN THIS CONVERSATION AND ONLY ONCE...
So i left my FB page up and my wife snooped and read my messages.. she is now crying..
I do feel bad that she got her feelings hurt, but i don't really feel like i did anything wrong..
Let me know what you guys think about my mess i made... just curious about outside opinions..
Well, just tell her it was a mistake.
You were stupid and just liked the attention. It wasn't like you intended to cheat on her.
Think about how you would feel if you seen her doing that to you.
Nothing will gain you're trust back from her but time...
The above is very good advice.
This seems like a weird place to ask such a question, but what the hell, I'll give it a shot too.
Tell her you love her very much and that you would never, ever cheat on her. You have to be absolutely sincere about this and make yourself believe it even if you actually did think about cheating. Any doubt that you show she will pick up on now.
PS: I've never understood why everyone loves Facebook. I hate that ****.
shawayne21 said:
Well, just tell her it was a mistake.
You were stupid and just liked the attention. It wasn't like you intended to cheat on her.
Think about how you would feel if you seen her doing that to you.
Nothing will gain you're trust back from her but time...
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Click to collapse
Thanks. Good advice
Haints said:
The above is very good advice.
This seems like a weird place to ask such a question, but what the hell, I'll give it a shot too.
Tell her you love her very much and that you would never, ever cheat on her. You have to be absolutely sincere about this and make yourself believe it even if you actually did think about cheating. Any doubt that you show she will pick up on now.
PS: Facebook sucks.
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Click to collapse
I am sincere. I had no intentions of cheating..
LOL and i know but I am here alot you guys are like family and it seemed like a good place to get non objective view..
Its reasons like that me and my wife share a FB account. Full freaking transparency! Just tell her you got caught up for a minute because we all like to be flattered once in a while. I'm sure she has flirted at some point behind your back.
In times of great personal conflict and inner-turmoil with the ones I love, I also think of turning to an cell-phone internet message board of complete strangers for advice.
badaphooko01 said:
Its reasons like that me and my wife share a FB account. Full freaking transparency! Just tell her you got caught up for a minute because we all like to be flattered once in a while. I'm sure she has flirted at some point behind your back.
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+1 to this. My wife and I share one too and have the privacy set high. We orignally got it to "spy" on people but have since put some stuff on there. Agree also with the "everyone wants to feel special" once in awhile aspect too. I can garauntee that if you try hard enough, you can find some instance that she has flirted too, but why would you want to do that b/c you'll just end up over analyzing everything. Just say you are sorry.
Side story:
A long time ago (15+) before FB, G+ ot twitter, I used to work nights in college. I got home late one night and my girlfriend at the time was asleep. The phone rang and I used to have this habit of screwing with tele-marketers to hopefully piss them off enough to drop my number.
This time it was just a wrong number, but there was a shy, what sounded like a cute voice on the other line that apologized for calling the wrong number. Before she got off the phone, I asked her what she was wearing and messed with her a little bit, then hung up. Told my girlfriend in the morning about it and we laughed (full disclosure-sorry I'm honest like that).
Anyways this girl called back the next night too and this time my girlfriend was up and we totally messed with this girls head and got her to agree to meet for a 3-way (only problem was she didn't know my GF was on the phone so it was going to be with her and her boyfriend-I don't do two swords if you know what I mean).
Long story short, we completely messed with this girl and my phone company at the time had this feature that if right after you got an annoying call you could hit *57 and if you did it to the same number 3 times in one month, it got their phone shut off for a month for harassing.
If you can't or won't follow though woth something, don't chat with someone you don't know. For all you know, it could have been me on the other side of the Facebook message.
PJcastaldo said:
Thanks. Good advice
I am sincere. I had no intentions of cheating..
LOL and i know but I am here alot you guys are like family and it seemed like a good place to get non objective view..
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Click to collapse
Yeah man, what you SHOULD do now, dont know if youre willing to do so, but you should just give her your facebook password. If you know youre not going to do anything like that again, she should be able to have it.
It will get a LOADDD off her shoulders knowing she doesnt have to sneak up on you, but rather look for herself at any time.
Hope everything goes well for you man. Just give it time.
FACEBOOK IS FULL OF PEOPLE YOU USED TO KNOW AND DONT WANT TO TALK TO, TWITTER IS FULL OF PEOPLE YOU DONT KNOW AND WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO..IMO,Hope everything works out,
hope everything is working out.
Im just a couple yrs older than you and have have been married about the same time, have 1 child also; so I can understand how this would be a really emotional situation for her and then you.
others gave good advice. be honest w her. tell her it was a mistake. let her look through all your other FB, email, ect... messages to prove to her that this was a one time semi-inocent situation.
even though you did nothing wrong, and maybe you did not, but put yourself in her situation. if you found that on her FB, you would probably be pretty pissed too (at least I would be).
so let her look at everything, give her your passwords, what ever you need to show her that this was a one time incident, that it was nothing more then casual chatting, but you understand that she is upset and you see how it looks now, you would be too in her situation, and that you wont do it again.
good luck
Online cheating is cheating.
I have a different opinion.
I think you should have never added her and never had any type of conversation with her. There is no reason a married man with children should be adding random females to his Facebook.
Secondly, you said you had no intention of cheating, but what about online cheating? What if she had asked you to get on Skype so she could give you a little show. Are you telling me you wouldn't go and watch and maybe join on Skype yourself?
That is my opinion. We live in a new world, and online relationships are a form of cheating in my opinion. You wouldn't sit with this girl at a coffee shop and chit chat, you shouldn't online either.
That's why I'm getting married till I'm like late 20's/early 30's
Hope it works out mate!
Sent from my T959 using xda premium
PJcastaldo said:
So this has absolutely nothing to do with Android or anything...
So me and my wife have been together since freshman year in high school we are now 27.. have a 7 year old and a 1 month old. I love her.. and would never cheat on her..
A week or so ago I got a message from a cute chick on facebook saying she wanted to be my friend. I asked her why she said because she thought i looked cute in my pictures. I told her she wasn't so bad looking and we had a kind of flirty conversation. I did however tell her about my wife and kids and we talked about things like where we live and what not.. noting more than a PG conversation..
IT NEVER WENT ANY FARTHER THAN THIS CONVERSATION AND ONLY ONCE...
So i left my FB page up and my wife snooped and read my messages.. she is now crying..
I do feel bad that she got her feelings hurt, but i don't really feel like i did anything wrong..
Let me know what you guys think about my mess i made... just curious about outside opinions..
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Tell her you love her AND that you were A COMPETE DUMBASS for having a meaningless, stupid convo. Then be good and don't do this AGAIN!
Sent from my HTC Sensation 4G using Tapatalk
One day I was at my girlfriend's house, her hot sister came to me and asked if I would like to sleep with her. I was shocked, and, as fast as I could, ran out of the house to my car. To my surprise my girlfriend was outside leaning against the car. She then said, "I knew I could trust you! ", then gave me a hug and told me she loved me.
Moral of the story?
Always keep your condoms in your car.
Wow, what a mess you've gotten yourself into.
If you haven't already, I think you need to first know and understand why your wife is upset.
After years of marriage, she certainly knows you as a person. If you're the type of person who doesn't cheat, she probably knows it. So it's not really a matter of "cheating".
It's a matter of loyalty and sense of security.
It's inevitable that people change over time. They're older, wiser, have different perspectives, etc. But the one thing that doesn't (ie, shouldn't) change is your commitment to your spouse.
when people first started dating, they think they're the perfect match for each other. After years of marriage you might:
-pack on some extra weight
-lose some hair
-no longer buy flowers for your wife
-no longer put up the toilet seat
-have different political views
-discover both of you have different tastes in music
-etc
But, damn it, she knows that at least she can confidently say "After all this time, my husband still loves me."
And if she has a bad day at work or if she just needs a hug, you're there for her. No matter what, you're suppose to have her back. You're her pillar to lean on. She might not need your support all the time, but she knows that if she does, you're there all the time, rock solid.
That "pillar" is what you've compromised here.
So when trying to make amends, don't focus on the FB chat. That's not the real issue at hand. Do what you need to do to let her know that you're still there for her.
TO YOUR WIFE :
plz forgive him, it's nothing, he's a loving husband if he's asking such a small thing here, that means he loves you alot.
Sent from my X8 using Tapatalk
DevStaffAndroid said:
Sent from my X8 using Tapatalk
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
now THATS a helpful answer xD
Sent from my GT-S5570 using XDA App
Me and my GF had a three day fight cause I never changed my Facebook profile from "single" to "in a relationship", and she thinks she had it bad. Of cpurse her drama queen sister conviced her it was so i can cheat. I only log in once or twice a month and never thought to change it.
OP you guys should just delete all your Facebook profiles, its more trouble than it's worth, like the situation you got into.
Facebook is nothing but a gathering for information and statistics anyway.
Simply don't post stuff at all
Wow, so today I found out that my ex-girlfriend now, been messaging her ex-boyfriend telling him he misses her and loves her and wants to be with him behind my back. Let me remind you that she is pregnant with my kid. I read her google chat log and found out all different kind of messages. I was completely shocked and completely *****ed at her. I told her stup*d as* to pack up her sh!t and get the f*ck out of my house. To think I was going to marry her as*.
Wow that's harsh man. Sorry to hear it. If there was no kid involved I'd say you're lucky to have found out, but that's just wrong on the little one. What a role model Mummy's gonna be
Sorry to hear that also, I think you need to care about your child now. Try not to confront her or him, just don't give a crap for the well being of your child (that needs to be your primary focus from now on).
Cheers man and good luck.
Archer said:
Wow that's harsh man. Sorry to hear it. If there was no kid involved I'd say you're lucky to have found out, but that's just wrong on the little one. What a role model Mummy's gonna be
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Yeah, I really ended up with something huh.. Nice way to start off the New Years.. F*ck that b!tch!
UPDATE: She's calling me telling me sorry and how she doesnt want me to leave.. What a dumb b!tch. Seriously. I told her to get the f*ck out of my life and get her sh!t out. Tired of her bullsh!t.
Mr. Clown said:
Sorry to hear that also, I think you need to care about your child now. Try not to confront her or him, just don't give a crap for the well being of your child (that needs to be your primary focus from now on).
Cheers man and good luck.
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Archer said:
Wow that's harsh man. Sorry to hear it. If there was no kid involved I'd say you're lucky to have found out, but that's just wrong on the little one. What a role model Mummy's gonna be
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Thank you both for hearing me out. Really appreciate the comments. Its good to talk to someone about something awful like this.
Make sure you don't sign that birth certificate until you get DNA confirmation that it's your baby.
I have a friend that got trapped and is paying child support on a child that's not his because he signed (acknowledged) that the child was his.
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Above&Beyond™ said:
Yeah, I really ended up with something huh.. Nice way to start off the New Years.. F*ck that b!tch!
UPDATE: She's calling me telling me sorry and how she doesnt want me to leave.. What a dumb b!tch. Seriously. I told her to get the f*ck out of my life and get her sh!t out. Tired of her bullsh!t.
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That's going to be a hard line to take if she's pregnant with your child... sounds like she might be a part of your life for good now, one way or the other. :/
Still, sorry to hear it bro.
Yeah, it's a tough situation all round. As said above, you are going to be involved in her life now for many, many years, so as Mr Clown said you need to forget your anger towards them because the little one is the most important thing.
Obviously, I agree with Android300ZX that a DNA test is a wise precaution.
Just one pertinent question: Are you sure it's your kid?
One thing to say: She's only sorry because she got caught. Ditch the b*tch bro, plenty of other chicks out there.
also MAKE SURE U RECORD everything when it come time to back what u need ex tv,couch,phone,printer,computer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkt7Dx_uK5Y SHE DA CHEATING HO*
Its cheaper to keep her. Eff child support. My dad had to go through it 7, yes that's right, SEVEN times.
-My life is a shooting range, people never change-
watt9493 said:
Its cheaper to keep her. Eff child support. My dad had to go through it 7, yes that's right, SEVEN times.
-My life is a shooting range, people never change-
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This statement really pisses me off. One of my employees always says it all the time. It is not about what option is less expensive...it is about what makes you both happy.
You both need to have a heart to heart and decide if you want to make things work or if it is best to separate ways. Take it from someone who was married for 6 years with someone who didnt seem like he wanted to be there...in the end, I was tired of being in love with a man that didn't seem to feel the same about me and we were divorced. Now I am a single mom and things are much better off.
Examine your relationship now before you get to involved. Your baby will be best with 2 parents who love each other, rather then 2 parents who only stay together for the kid.
I agree you should catalog everything that you had pre-relationship with her. It's not marriage but things can go south very fast. I also agree with who ever posted about not signing the birth certificate until you know 110% sure that the baby is yours. I had a girlfriend who was messing around with other guys behind my back when she got pregnant (found that out after we went through everything). Good luck bro
Damn... Sorry to hear that bro
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Hey man, altough you think this is the end of the world, it isn´t. Let your friends and family comfort you, that life goes on.
That will be a prolonged pain. Find time to spend totally away from her to heal.
I'm gonna go back on what I previously said, after thinking about it some more. We've all made mistakes - I've made tons of them! If you care enough about the girl to be planning a family and marriage with her then maybe it's worth at least seeing what happens.
It's easy for someone not in the situation to knee-jerk but what do we know about how you two really feel about each other? Nothing.
Just use this place to vent and see our responses, then ignore them all completely and do what's best for you, your misses and the little one. Just be honest and you can't go wrong.
I usually don't repeat myself but:
-Make sure you get a DNA test!
-A lot of females use that (I'm pregnant) against a guy to keep him. It may very well be true but be careful.
-Record everything! Make a backup on Gmail. I would use Google Voice and have Google Voice be your primary voicemail. If she calls you and leaves a voicemail it will get saved to Google Voice where you can download it to your desktop and keep it on file.
-Take most if not all the things she says to you with a grain of salt.
-Make sure you don't end up looking like the deadbeat that just picked up and left. They tend to make themselves look like the victim to their friends and family.
-If the child is yours take care of your business and appreciate them because they are pure.
-If you find it in your heart to forgive her make sure you really forgive her and not bring it up when you get into the occasional argument.
I have experience in this. My GF cheated on me twice. The first time she would go out with her "girls" (multiple instances of partying with her "girls" and coming back late in the AM) and I found out she was going out with a guy that I knew who was in our circle of friends. She would cut school and hang out with this guy all the while I was paying for her education. She doesn't work or hasn't in the 4 years we've been together because I took care of everything as a man. The second time I caught her was on her birthday when I came home early (unannounced) from work to surprise her and caught her leaving the neighbors house and overheard her on the phone discussing the events with her BFF. I couldn't forgive her because the thought of me seeing this guy's car every day and the fact that I know he's be laughing at me from behind the confines of his home taking me for a sucker. The only reason I haven't pummeled his face in is because of my daughter.
I have a kid with her and I still live with her but we are only together for the sake of my daughter. She graduates this month from school and will get a job in her field so we will sit down and discuss our arrangements and separation.
Just make sure you cover all your bases man.
*** Again, Do the DNA test!! Don't fall for that guilt trip she may put on your about you denying your child and not trusting her ***
They will use that against you and make you succumb to signing the certificate.
Hang in there man, it's tough. I think that you best pursue what's going to be the best for your son or daughter.
There is a test they can do for paternity during gestation, it determines gender among other things of the child, mostly done for at risk older mothers.
If in the end you find you are a father, ill tell you first hand (literally holding my Lil guy) its a feeling like no other. You've got to do what's best for your own, which will likely be to split. Your gf likely grew up on a household with a limited example of a father figure, and you certainly don't want your own kid to turn into the same type of person as her.
Yeah, DNA test seems good suggestion. Make sure wich base it came from. Also maybe ask for a ETA.
Oké, now go to Dr Phill or Jerry Springer. Last time i checked it was a technical forum.
Cheers
Ok folks, I don't frequently ask for advice in matters of the heart or personal stuff. Typically I confine myself to the realm of IT and phones. But awhile back when I was still whacked out over my Ex, I hurt someone I cared for greatly. It's been tough making things work out but I decided to lay everything on the line and I am mailing the following letter to her in hopes of things working out. Any input especially from the fairer sex (if there be any here :laugh would be appreciated. Any thoughts folks?
Redacted
,
There’s a great deal of things I would like to say to you. Many would most likely just be a rehash of things I have said before. I don’t believe though that anything I ever say from this moment on would be sufficient to change the way things are right now. I know I have tried time and time again to express my sincere regret for my actions. I did something terrible to you. It wasn’t getting you sick, it wasn’t making you feel used, and it wasn’t being a real jerk to you. It was turning my back on you. I walked away when I should have stayed and stood by you. I truly regret my actions and if I could, I would take them back and do things differently. I would have stayed by your side. I would have shown you that I was a good man and that I truly do care for you.
I’ve said this before and I do mean it, I have always felt something for you. Ever since we were children a part of me has been in love with you. Not just because I think you are beautiful, but because of who you are. I’ve always loved the way you carried yourself, the way you moved, the way you sat, everything. It wasn’t until we were adults that I realized behind the beauty and grace was a mind that was as wonderful as the rest of you. You are an amazing woman whom anyone would be lucky to have in their life.
When I changed my status and you messaged me, we talked and ended up admitting truths. When you accepted my offer for a date, I was elated. How often does the woman of your dreams, the one you’ve had a crush on your entire life, the one you always imagined asking out, actually pay attention to you and says yes to a date with you? When we went out, I thought I was over the past and I was wrong. I didn’t mean to hurt you the way I did.
The worst thing for me is being alone. Not necessarily being alone, but being alone in my thoughts. When I’m alone, I have nothing to distract me from my thoughts. I’ve had time to evaluate my actions, my decisions, and my life. I see a great many mistakes I have made in my life. Many of them I cringe at knowing I did or said those things. I look back at turning my back on you and I want to just berate myself and kick myself over and over again for what I did. I was a fool for doing that. You deserved better than my actions and I have no excuse for what I did. Regardless of my mindset or my thoughts at the time, you deserved someone who would be there especially when he caused it. I wasn’t.
Since then, I have wanted nothing more than to make it up to you. To show you I am the man you deserve. I’ve wanted nothing more than to deserve you. I know I’ve made a royal mess of my life due to my actions and have damaged yours as well. You were doing great and while you may have wanted more in life and would have eventually attained that goal, I set you back. I don’t know how far and I hope it’s not nearly as far as I believe it to be. I believe you deserve the best in life. I believe we all do. I don’t know if I am what’s best for you, but I know that for me, settling for anyone other than you would be a grave mistake on my part. I would be a true fool to not try and show you I am a good man and I deserve a second chance.
I’ve tried calling you a fair amount lately, as well as texting you. You haven’t answered my phone calls and lately haven’t answered a single text. I can’t say I blame you for not talking to me all things considered. I’ve been terrible to you and haven’t been the person you need in your life. I want to be that man but I don’t know if you can ever let go of the past and the distrust. I don’t know if you can ever truly trust me again. That in itself is a shame as I am a good man and would be willing to do just about anything to ensure your well being and your happiness. Once committed to something, I am determined to see it through. Perhaps you think I should be committed for being this way, but it’s who I am. It takes something major to change my mind about things. I think you know that by now.
I know that between not working and with the medical issues you’ve mentioned that you might be unsure of things. I know that you’ve said you don’t believe I can make decisions that take you into consideration. I want you to know that even knowing that you have problems medically, that if things are as bad as you fear, that you may not be around for as long as you would like to be, I am still here and I won’t walk away just because things are difficult again. I did once and I learned a valuable lesson from doing so. I learned what was worth fighting for and what wasn’t. I want to be there for you. I want to show you the support you deserve and be there for you when you want and need me. I already am even though you may not want me to be.
You agreed with me once that if I had not been a fool and been the man a woman like you deserves, we both may have been happy together right now. Despite all the bad, we would have been together and together we would have worked towards something great.
There’s a saying, one that I agree with, “Nothing good in life is ever easy.” I believe that the best things in life are worth fighting for. I believe that you are worth it. That despite where I may stand in your eyes or in your heart, I believe trying is the right thing to do. I may be wrong but without your input, I don’t know to stop.
I am not asking you to jump into anything with me. I would like for you to, but I can wait a bit for that. What I am asking is that we start over and that you let me prove to you that I am worth a second chance. I want to prove to you that I am the man you deserve, one that will always be there for you. I’d like to pick up things where we left off, but I don’t believe that’s an option anymore. I’m willing to start anywhere you think we should just so that one day I can rebuild the trust I shattered and one day we can have a relationship that puts others to shame.
I want to be more to you than a bad decision easily forgotten. I believe I deserve better than that and I believe that I can be the absolute best choice you’ve ever made.
You once said that I should focus on rebuilding my life. You said that I should fix my life before trying to start a relationship with you. I am working towards that every day. I have good and bad days but overall, things are moving in the right direction. I believe though that when I am not working or able to work towards my goals, the free time I have so to speak, that those times are when I should work on rebuilding your trust and our friendship, that those times should be spent with you.
I am going to rebuild my life better than before. I want that life to include you, to be there for you and you for me. I would like for us to be together for as long as we have on this earth. I would ask for the next life too, but I don’t want to seem too eager or greedy. I know things don’t always work out as planned and that all of this may be wishful thinking, but I truly believe that we were in each other’s paths again after so long a time apart for a reason. I do not believe though that our paths should diverge just yet. I believe that there is more for us here and that we should pursue it. I hope that deep down you feel the same way. I hope that somewhere deep inside is the desire to see things work out and for us to have a chance together even after everything that I caused.
I’ve made mistakes in my life before. I’ve made a great many of them, but none as great or none I regret more than hurting you and breaking your trust. I want you to know I will spend the rest of my life and do anything I have to in order to earn back your trust and friendship, to earn back the look in your eyes when you looked into mine, the right to hold your hand in mine again, to hold you close and say the things that matter in life.
I want to try again. I want to be the man for you. Will you let me be that man?
Sincerely,
Darrell
You sound like a young man. Take some advice from a 33 yr old that has walked many paths and who has loved and lost. As cliche as it sounds, its true, if its ment to be, it will happen. Explaining to her how you hurt and and how much you love her will not make her comeback. The heart wants what it wants. I know the pain at time seems unbearable at times and the obsesive thoughts seem to never to stop, but in time, the pain starts to recede, the thoughts slowly die down. Concentrate on yourself for now, stay away from alcohol, and live one day at a time. In time, you will find that special someone, and she will be nothing but a memory.
Man I hate to tell you but I hope the kids in OT don't have a hay day with this. It's a legitimate request. If things get to outta hand, hit me up with a PM. I've been down this road and it's not an easy one. If you want advice, shoot me a message. Best of luck to ya man!!
A toast from my Gnex aboard the Satisfaction!
Actually I'm 33. Big loveable guy at heart lol.
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DarrellRaines said:
Actually I'm 33. Big loveable guy at heart lol.
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O rly!? :what: Me and you have lived very diffrent lives.
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Some parts of it seemed long and repetitive.
I think you can cut it shorter but still say what you want to say.
If she hasn't replied your texts or returned your phone calls, a letter this long may be thrown out immediately.
Just my 2 cents.
Sent from my iPhone 5 using Tapatalk only because my kids are playing with the Note 2.
LoopDoGG79 said:
O rly!? :what: Me and you have lived very diffrent lives.
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I've been lucky. Up until recently I should say. I love freely and end up getting hurt a lot. We are the sum of our life experiences.
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I immediately skipped to this line at the bottom
I want to try again. I want to be the man for you. Will you let me be that man?
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That's all I need to read to tell you that you need to move on. Sorry, but it's true. Just the fact that you're asking her if you can "be that man" just says a lot.
I believe I deserve better than that
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Prove it. Go out there and find somebody better. After all, you do deserve it.
Ooooohhhhhh k, now that I've re-read it, I gotta take back what I said. Dude, you can't put yourself out there like that. You might as well be the weird stalker guy that watches her go to the grocery store. You gotta move on man. Swallow what little bit of pride you have and keep on going.
A wise man once told me, the only way to get over one girl is to get under another.
A toast from my Gnex aboard the Satisfaction!
'I am not asking you to jump into anything with me. I would like for you to, but I can wait a bit for that.'
you shouldn't write 'i can wait a bit'...
it sounds like 'yeah if you don't get laid by me next week, i'll search for another one'...
just write 'i can wait'
PS: good luck to you man!
Okay, I'm writing this in Notepad as I read what you wrote.
First paragraph, I'd trim this down. A lot of it is shooting yourself in the foot is going on here if your goal in this is to try to win her back.
"I turned my back on you. I walked away when I should have stayed and stood by you. I truly regret my actions. I wish I'd had the sense to stay by your side - I wish I could have been a better man."
Second paragraph, I'd cut this entirely, at least this early on.
Third paragraph : "You deserved better". You could attach this to the first at this point. A lot of this feels like a guilt trip for her when you're claiming you've hurt her. Don't tell her why YOU are needy and need her - why should she care (even if she does) ?
Fourth paragraph, same as second. This feels kind of random and unnecessary at this point.
Fifth paragraph. Okay. I don't know the situation, so that makes this really hard. But I wouldn't say in your letter that you DESERVE a second chance. Don't put this on her like she somehow needs to do you a favour. " I know I’ve made a royal mess of my life due to my actions and have damaged yours as well. You were doing great and while you may have wanted more in life and would have eventually attained that goal, I set you back. I don’t know how far, but I hope you're still able to attain all you wanted*" (*I don't know the situation, so I don't know how much she can expect ?) Tell her how you can HELP her attain whatever it is you set her back from, even if you can't directly.
Sixth paragraph. This whole letter is really vague so far - have you edited it for the internet ? If not, I'd be more specific. "I don't know if you can ever trust me again, that I understand". She knows she's been ignoring you - you don't have to tell HER that.
Seventh. "I wish I had been good enough to not have to hurt you in the process of learning what was worth living and fighting for". Somethingn like that.
Eight. You've basically said this before. Stop dwelling on it - it happened. What can you do to at least tell her in words that you're comitted to making a CHANGE ? What would you do in the FUTURE with her if you got back together at this point ? What would you do for HER ?
Nine. "Starting over" is not what you want. If you started over, well, you'd end up in the same place, right ? You need to express that you've learned and that that is always with you - that you're not going to mentally "start over".
Ten. Okay, what progress HAVE you made ? Can you tell her about THAT ? What can you do to make progress with her ? What would you like to do if you were to start "slow" ?
Eleven and Tweleve. I'm not going to comment on these, specifically.
Okay, so.
If I was reading this, I would feel you're too focused on NEEDING her and it's a lot of words, words, words - but no action. It's all talk and not much substance to actually mean something to someone who's been hurt. Address what you did. Address what you would DO. Address HOW you've changed, what you're doing. Let her know specifics about what you're doing to improve your life and yourself. Let her know HOW you can help her, what are you willing to do ? How can you support her ?
I'm not here to comment on if this is the right thing to do or if you need to move on. Maybe you do - I don't know. I don't know you or the situation. I'm just reading this, trying to think about if I'd been sent it.
I'm reading a whole lot of "I WANT you in MY life" - but no really good reasons why she should want to be in yours. Why should she ? ... SHOULD she ? If it really would be good for her, why ? Don't tell her that she needs to "fight" for this with you - if she's the one who's been hurt, why should she have to struggle any more ? Show her that you've changed and advanced enough that it wouldn't need to be something difficult.
Don't take this too personally. I don't know you, I don't know her - I don't know what happened. I can't tell you the best 'advice' possible without that.
Beware rebounds. If you haven't fixed your **** before trying to move on, you'll invariably **** up again and probably make the same sort of mistakes - or hey, maybe even all new ones. Figure your **** out - it's what this girl you're writing to wants to see - and it's what any girl who isn't going to be another couple broken hearts is going to want to see. It's old, but it's true - you can't expect to find someone to fully love and commit to you if you're not even fully what you want from yourself.
I tried. :good:
^ Great suggestions.
To OP, I read the whole thing. Twice. You're truly expressing yourself, but you don't need to keep reminding her what happened. She KNOWS what happened. And I would even say she dwells on it. So saying stuff like 'I turned my back on you" wouldn't really help. Being self critical is fine, but I found it to be slightly overkill.
And, in the whole letter, I kept searching for the world "sorry". You haven't said sorry even once. You NEED to tell her your sorry. She NEEDS to know that. You need to actually apologize to her instead of saying that you are unworthy.
If you really think she's the one, go pursue her, and don't let up.
I'm much younger than you, but I hope my advice helps.
Best of luck, mate.
So I read your letter and I can see that you're very troubled with the situation. A lot of people here have given you great advice, I'd really consider not shooting yourself in the foot like the person above stated.
My main concern is the letter seems more about you feeling bad and wanting to make things right rather than actually apologize and let the chips fall where they may, again like the person above stated.
My two cents, take out at least half of your "I"s . Don't beat yourself up especially in a letter to her as that won't inspire confidence in you as a man. Straight up, be a man; apologize for whatever happened, tell her what you feel, and then give her space. Sucks but other than that you'll suffocate her.
Hope all goes well man.
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