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Sorry to post bad news but it's my daughter and I want to get as many prayers as possible.
She's not even two and is undergoing her second surgery in an attempt to fight off Melanoma.
I typically don't bother people with things like this but it's for my daughter. If it was for me, I wouldn't even bother.
As you can guess, I'm a mess. She's Stage IIIc currently and it could go either way.
Thanks in advance for your prayers.
Please spread the word.
EDIT: If you could reply here so I know how many people are pulling for her....even if you don't pray...that will help.
How this started: She was born with a type of birth mark on her back called a nevus. At her age the doctors told us it's more of a cosmetic decision to have it removed. I listened. They said that in older kids there is a potential for cancer but not in her age group....very rare. They advised that we wait until she was 2 years old to remove it if we decided to go that route, so we waited. Little did I know that it would turn into this. My advice is to remove any threat to your child even if there is a .000000000000000000000000000000000000001% risk...it's never worth it. Lesson #1, I wish I would have been more vain and said that "thing" has to go immediately. Well, all was going fine then one day we noticed that an area of the nevus started to change. We made an appointment at the specialists and it took a while to get her in. No one thought it was a threat but they wanted to do tests. We took her in and they took a piece and sent it to the lab. MISTAKE/LESSON #2...if there is any threat to your child...tell the doctors NOT to take a little piece and examine it...tell them to TAKE THE ENTIRE THING then do what they need to do, not leave pieces behind that could yield further issues. If they would have taken the entire thing out, the risk would have been greatly reduced. The longer you leave cancer cells in your body the worse it can become. After the tests came back as positive for cancer they immediately scheduled the operation to have it and a significant area around it removed for further testing. That happened, the rest of it went off to a lab and the perimeter came back with no cancerous cells. They also took out a few lymph nodes but those came back positive for cancer cells. As soon as those results came back she went back in for her second surgery.
Update: 09/14/2008. People have been asking me so I'm posting an update. She's undergone two surgeries. The second was to remove additional areas of potential threat and also all the lymph nodes under each arm. The cancer could have spread to these lymph nodes and they had to remove them in case it was contained there. I'm praying it was. As for how she's doing now, she has 4 drain tubes to drain fluids from her body while she recovers. One under each arm and two on her back. As the doctors explained, after surgery there are voids where the body tries to fill with fluid and they need to keep that fluid from settling. She had a couple of bad days with pain from these tubes that are going into her body but the past couple of days she's been doing wonderful. We have to stay on top of her to ensure she doesn't hurt herself. Right now the lymph nodes that were removed have been sent off for further testing and we should have results back sometime next week. She also starts cancer treatments next week in an attempt to cut off or delay any further manifestations in her little body.
Update: 09/17/08. We just got back from the doctor. Got the 4 drain tubes and "bulbs" removed so now she can move more freely and with less supervision. I can also go back to a normal sleep routine since I had to sleep with one eye open to ensure she didn't tangle herself with the plastic tubes when she turned in bed during the night. Big relief here. She also had her CT scan of the brain. We had the surgeon pull the file up as a favor and he said it looked okay BUT that he was not a neurologist nor was the scan officially reviewed yet so we continue to pray and soon we start the aggressive therapy...Interferon Alpha2b. Many side effects but nothing worse than cancer spreading so it's worth the ride for all involved. We now wait for the official results to get back to us and the results of all the lymph nodes that were removed in the second operation. Thank you all and keep praying for her no matter the faith you believe in and if you don't believe in any God please think positive thoughts for my little girl. I'm not too proud to beg when it comes to my child.
Update: 09/17/08 #2. Just got an e-mail from a doctor at the hospital. The results from the lymph node tests came back all negative and the nodes removed during the second operation had no cancer. This is great news for me and my family because statistically it puts the odds back in her favor. We're still moving forward with periodic scans of all her major organs and the cancer treatment, which we're starting next week. Keep praying for her people and thank you....thank you.....thank you!!!
Update: 09/23/08. All is positive but will be getting a little bad for her for the next year. She starts Interferon therapy on Monday. It's going to be an interesting year. Again, thank you all for your continued support. You have no idea how much it helps.
Update: 10/11/08. Thank you all for your continued support. She's not finished her first 2 of 52 week treatment. The first 4 weeks are the worst but she's actually doing extremely well. The only side effects she's demonstrated were high fever the first two days of treatment which we quickly got under control with a Motrin and Tylenol routine and her being more tired because we have to wake up extra early to be at the hospital every single day for her treatment. The first 4 weeks we have to be at the hospital anywhere from 3-7 hours for her treatments. She's doing extremely well and i'm still praying that this treatment is not necessary and that the cancer never made it past her lymph nodes into her body. This treatment doesn't really cure anything...it just prolonges the time before relapse. If the lymph nodes contained it then we're good. After the initial 4 weeks, we start giving her injections three times weekly at the house. This is going to be easier on her as she'll be able to start sleeping in again and taking her naps on time. Her eating habits are a little off as well because the treatments give you a bad taste in your mouth. Luckily for us, we're fortunate enough to be able to cook up a choice of dishes for her keeping her eating. She's gotten picky about what she eats but we're giving her enough choices to keep her eating. We're trying to avoid avoid weight loss which is one side effect but it's typically a result of patience not wanting to eat because food just doesn't taste as good. Kids at this age don't know to eat because they have to until they are starving when stuff like this happens...unless daddy feeds them some of the best Fajita's in town or a savory steak. We have two more weeks of the "hard" treatment and then it eases up on her body a bit because the dosage is reduced for the remaining 11 months.
Update: 10/25/08. Thank you all yet again for your continued support. We've finished the month long daily treatments of heavy interferon dosage. She actually had two small side effects out of all the scary stuff and although we still have 11 more months of treatments that could yield some nasty side effects, she pulled through the heavy part like a champ. Of the 30 days she had 2 with fever which we brought under immediate control using Tylenol and Motrin and then she would get a little flush in the face a few other days but a hydration solution through the portacath in her chest fixed that right away. We had some long days at the hospital and i'm thankful that my customers are understanding. It's been tough but worth the fight and the entire family remains strong. Little Alessandra seems to be the strongest of the bunch, LOL. The grandmothers missed a lot of work because we didn't want to take Alessandra's little brother to the hospital for the long days so they stayed at the house until we returned from her treatments then they shot off to work. Friday was the last day of heavy treatments and now we start treating her at home by giving her three shots a week. We still have to monitor her for side effects, continue to take her in for regular scans of her organs to see if cancer pops up anywhere, and watch her skin to see if there are ANY changes. All in all a small price to pay if the cancer never manifests itself again. I think we've made a decision to remove every mole on her body once she goes back in for the, I hope to God, final surgery. The melanoma can manifest itself in moles much easier than in other areas of the skin and considering what she's already been through, I'm not leaving ANYTHING to chance. Some may think I'm crazy and this may be going too far but you wouldn't understand until you went through this. The odds of her having to go through this were astronomical but it happened. I'm not leaving it to chance and as another member in the forum reminded me, drastic times call for drastic measures. Again, thank you all and I will continue to keep the thread updated for those interested in our fight.
Thank you all for your continued support. She's tough and fighting it with a strength that is incredible for someone her age. BTW, she's now officially 2 years old.
Update: 11/25/08. Yesterday/Monday we took her to the hospital for a check up. Had ultra sounds done on the areas where they removed the lymph nodes and a chest x-ray. Thank God nothing was present. All tests came out clean and we're moving forward to enjoy our Thanksgiving Holidays. One thing we've taught Alessandra to do was pray. She enjoys it and now is old enough to join in and even ask us to pray with her. She looks like a little angel when praying, putting her hands together and bowing her little head while we all pray together. Thank you all for your continued prayers. Keep my little daughter in your prayers, positive thoughts, etc. it's working. She's a very strong little girl and is making it through all the shots and scans and pokes of her little body. No child should ever have to go through this but if they do they should with a loving family and as many prayers as possible. Thank you all for doing your part in helping us with this fight. Again, no matter your religion thank you in advance for your prayers. I have word that people all over the planet are praying for my little girl. Hundreds of churches of all religions and literally thousands (maybe tens of thousands) of people in many different countries are praying. Thanks again!
Update: 12/17/08. Last Saturday we had to take the little one into the emergency room. She had something swelling bad where the scar is from her last surgery. They did an ultra sound and found fluid and also some mass. Thursday/tomorrow we're schedule for her third operation. They want to go in and remove this immediately. They will run tests and determine if it's a reoccurance of her cancer or just the way that area healed. I'm praying that it's not cancer and that it just healed weird and caused the swelling. Thanks again everyone for your continued support.
Update: 12/28/08. The operation was good and she was out the same day. The results came back and it was more cancer. Not good. Over the holiday weekend we noticed another lump swelling on her back. It's most likely more cancer. On Monday we go in for entire body scans CT and PET. I'm praying and hoping to God that this is only isolated in those areas and once removed it's over with and that it's not in a major organ. Just thinking about it is the most painful thing I've ever experienced. Thank you all for your continued support and prayers. She needs that more than anything right now. We'll most likely be scheduling another operation to go in and remove the new lump from her back this week. Will make it her 5th operation within a 12 month period. All I can say is I wish it was me.
Update: 01/02/09. The CT came back clean but the PET found another tumor in addition to the one we visually detected. Doctors ordered an Ultrasound which initially confused me. I figured why an Ultrasound when we already did a CT and PET? Well, i'm glad we did. We noticed that the lump that was visually detected was actually two very close together. The Ultrasound gave everyone a more clear picture. I'm learning a lot more about this disease and will one day try to setup a website to help others. There is a lot of knowledge that i've gained that I haven't read about on any other website and all the sites basically tell you the same stuff over and over. It's good info but it's not good for when you're already in the fight. You need a new set of rules and data when battling this monster and maybe one day i can put it up to help others...one day after my daughter is done fighting and maybe she can even help me. Meanwhile, I sit at the hospital for the operation. They were initially going to go in to do "clean up" from the previous operation and remove the three additional tumors found. I spoke to the surgeon and told him I wanted to do more. I wanted to remove more of the "left over" lymph "channels" to avoid a reoccurance. I let him know that the disease is betting more aggressive and I wanted to do the same. He immediately called in the plastic surgeon that he had on standby and jumped right on the idea after consulting with another oncologist. She's now in there and it might be another 4-5 hours before she's done. No matter how many times I've been through this with her, I can never avoid crying when they take her from my arms and into the operating room. I just sit and wait now and pray all is going well and that this might be the last operation she'll ever have to endure. One thing I know for sure, this family will be unstoppable when we win this fight because the strength gained from this battle is not going to be taken for granted.
Now...i've gotten a lot of PM's offering help from users that have gone through cancer, from doctors that use the forum, from users who knew someone with cancer and even those just extending their best wishes but i was never really too sure what kind of help I could get for my daughter but now I know one thing that can help us greatly. Please continue your prayers...Muslim, Christian, Islam, whatever....please pray for Alessandra. Second, I know that best way to fight this is early detection so I ask the doctors and people that have been through this and those that know anything....help me by letting me know of any cutting edge medical scanning technology, etc. The CT and PET and Ultrasound are all great tools. There are also the 3D and even 4D Ultrasounds. I want to hear from you guys because I'm about to set appointments to get her entire body scanned with an Ultrasound. I know this will only catch stuff close to the surface and doesn't work well detecting tumors deep in her body, if i am understanding all of this correctly and please note that I haven't had much time to research it fully yet. For anyone out there that knows anything about this stuff, I have the following questions:
- Is there anything more advanced and higher resolution than an Ultrasound? From talking to the doctors it seems the Ultrasound can detect smaller "objects" than a CT or PET would be able to and it seems like the Ultrasound had a more "clear" view of the items. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
- Are there any other technologies that can be used to scan for cancer instances that a PET/CT/Ultrasound might miss?
- Has anyone heard of any other ways of detecting melanoma cancer once it's in the lymph nodes and even in the body once it gets past the lymph nodes? Other than scanning with the PET/CT/Ultrasound and waiting for a tumor to be large enough to show up?
- Any chemical detection methods available? I read that some cancer produces certain protein markers that can be detected very early via blood tests. Does anyone know of something similar for melanoma?
- The Interferon treatments she's undergoing might or might not be working. Has anyone heard of any available treatment for someone her age when Interferon doesn't work for melanoma cancer? I heard the Mayo clinic has alternate treatments but when I called the doctor wouldn't talk to me and insisted I go see them. All I wanted to know were questions to plan my trip accordingly like: Can it be administered with Interferon? If not, how long after the Interferon treatment finishes can the alternate treatment begin? What are some side effects, if any, of the alternate treatment? How long would the alternate treatment last for? All of these questions were so I knew what to expect, how to plan for it and how long we would be undergoing treatment. What really pissed me off is that the doctor wouldn't even answer questions through her assistant. Pretty damn petty and business like when a little girl's life might be at risk here. I know there might be protocol but hell, sometimes protocol needs to be circumvented when it's petty and someone's life is at risk...give me a ****ing break.
So if anyone has any knowledge they would like to share please do so in reply within the thread. Your response might help someone else that hasn't had time to post something like this or prefers to be more private than I'm being.
Thank you all again for your support and for any help you may give here for my daughter and for anyone else going through this.
Update: 04.20.09. The fight against the cancer continues. My daughter is hanging in there. She currently has three-four tumors. One was removed this week for a special trial that we've enrolled her in. She's undergone Interferon and Interlukin-2 treatments. I feel that the Interlukin-2 had an effect on the cancer and we're going to revisit it but right now it's time for more aggressive treatments. A friend of the family has put up a website that's not 100% done. I see AstainHellBring posted it and I thank him for that. I'm going to post more details there and what we've gone through. I hope this new site not only helps my family but also other families going through the same thing. There is so much miscommunication and things they dont' tell you that I want to communicate, it's crazy. Things that you need to prepare for but either they are affraid to tell you or they just don't know. Thank you all for your continued support for my daughter. I'll post more info later.
Can't post updates here...message too long so posting to the end of the thread again.
sorry to hear that
u have her in our prayers!
GOD BLESS!
You have my prayers and sympathies. Wishing your family nothing but absolutely the best and success.
good luck man i hope for the best
Oh man, that's terrible to have your child sick like that. We are praying for her and your family.
Best of luck that they are able to take care of this problem
Do not worry, we are with you and your daughter in our prayers.
I wish you much good luck
God Bless and our prayers go to her ..
horrible thing to have to go through, my best wishes to you and yours.
G,
Your request is circulating now throughout Ohio. Our prayers and support are with you and your family. Keep us posted.
Raskell
i got a 3 year old daughter myself i can imagine what your going thru, i'm not a religious guy but i'll do whatever i can to support her and your family, we're all thinking about her, i hope she get's well soon !
my best wishes and prayers for her speedy recovery!
May God bless her!!
Let us hope & pray for the best for your daughter, and may God bless her with the strength to overcome this.
my best wishes for your duaghter... i wil pray... GOD bless...
I don't have words to express myself, prayers of me and my complete family are with your daughter.
My best wishes for your daughter and your family. I really hope she will recover quickly
You have my prayers for her. Have faith.
Adil
I wish you and your family all the best and will pray for your little girl to have a full recovery.
I am not a religious person, but as a recent father I am thinking of you and your daughter.
I wish her and all your family all the best.
@MikeChannon, very nice words.
Dave
I'm going to add this thread to my sig to help get the word out and to get the max amount of thoughts and prayers possible.
It's official. Wait times for the next batch is 3 weeks.
http://www.engadget.com/2012/11/15/nexus-4-backordered/
Thank you for your recent purchase on Google Play. Due to overwhelming demand, your Nexus 4 is on backorder and is expected to ship within three weeks. We'll send you a notification when your order has shipped and will credit the shipping charges.
To check the status of your order at any time, visit the link below: https://wallet.google.com/manage/#transactions
If you would prefer to cancel your order, please reply to this email and our team will assist you. Or you can cancel your order using our online tool. Please follow the instructions found here:
http://support.google.com/googleplay/bin/answer.py?hl=en&answer=2423477
We apologize for any inconvenience and thank you again for your order.
Thanks,
The Google Play Team
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Click to collapse
So pretty much anyone who hasn't been able to put in a order (like myself) are not going to be able to order the device for a long time.
Thanks for nothing LG.
I guess I'm stuck phoneless for 3 weeks, or whenever the next batch will be availabe...
But I am also sort of glad that I wasn't able to get my order in so we could see if Google will add the Nexus 4 to AOSP as well as fix up some of the thermal issues.
Question for you... do you even read forums before making a new thread? The email you just quoted has been posted numerous times...
Sent from my A510 using Tapatalk 2
c_86 said:
Question for you... do you even read forums before making a new thread? The email you just quoted has been posted numerous times...
Sent from my A510 using Tapatalk 2
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
It deserves it's own thread.
wilsonlam97 said:
It deserves it's own thread.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
It really doesn't. Also the E-mail doesn't say what you seem to think it does. Within 3 weeks means any time from today up untill 3 weeks. I'm not overly optomistic about the time frame myself but the thread title is still misleading at best.
your thread created privileges should be taken away...
Good thing I didnt sell my GNex yet.
Why are ppl in the states so crazy to get it even at the price of over $600 at ebay nearly double...can't they wait for the next wave just few weeks ahead..most other country don't even have play store to purchase that may sound reasonable
Sent from my GT-N7000 using xda premium
I am totally at a loss with Google on this? Total and epic failure from a company that prides itself on it's meticulous attention to detail and Engineers every little thing. How the hell am I supposed t believe that the company that can crunch massive data sets, route the quickest path to ones home, serve massive amounts of AD's and multimedia can blow it in running a simple Cart driven eCommerce business and fail to anticipate all these fairly obvious headaches coming to light. It really boggles the mind?
I got the Backorder letter too, but even that was very vague and provides no level of detail that can be useful. Already there is conflicting stories of folks getting the bo letter and a shipment letter, some who made two separate orders are left wondering which order is bo'd?
If I had to think out loud, I would surmise that in the effort of cutting costs down for this product they used there F-Team of managers for this product launch ... seriously!
*A notification system that failed to notify!
*No coherent product launch time (Midnight? 9EST? 9PST?) even when we fished around for details and the rumour mill had it at 9PST the damn store opened 30minutes earlier.
*No clear communication on stock levels
*No pre-order ... my god how stupid are the folks who ran this botched job!
*Not enough inventory on hand
*No cart limits like 1 per person or 2 per person ... I could add 100 to my cart and the thing would go through
*No cart queuing/ reserving/ holding mechanism ... ticketmaster holds a ticket for 5-10 minutes the instant it lands on your cart
*Cart/ Site kept crashing
*They didn't update the site to sold-out until late at night leading to the F5 phenomena, with people wasting time without knowing whether they can make an order or not ... fully knowing anyone after the initial 10 minutes after opening the Play store would be on backorder ... might as well keep selling now it makes no more difference at this point at least alleviate those who can't purchase now to join a queue and keep selling. What will happen now is they will launch in spurts resulting in the same level of chaos ... let people join the queue now if they will be backordered in anycase.
*For those of us who got the chance to order the assumption was that they would be able to make a shipment ... no reason why the system would fluctuate from in stock to of stock during the nightmare purchase with all the obstacles it had ... WHY THE HELL DID WE GET BO'd! If there system wasn't as one to one as it seemed with all it's rigidity in how much you can add to cart and it failing during purchase because it became out of stock ... then how the hell did you guys oversell?
No sincere apology, no corrective actions are being laid out ... and that token free shipping in no way salvages this horribly broken Play Store. Heads have to roll ... seriously! I've read stories of better managers/ CEO's, project leads being fired for so little ... the folks who have done an outstanding job of tarnishing the Google brand and have been doing so seeing that this type of nonsense is not new with those familiar with the Play Store ... I am totally new to the Android verse coming from WP7.5, BB7, and Maemo ... this first impression of how Google runs this store is not what I always imagined of Google which I love and use from Email to Google+ ... I even enjoyed GWave, I put up with the Buzz mess up ... but Play is such a horrible brand tarnishing experience and Google needs to improve there retail program or get out of it and let the pro's at Amazon handle it.
This is a joke, I can't believe it Google has been running a psy-ops campaign over at the Play Store to ruin there hard fought branding of Engineered Excellence. I hate the Apple verse and the perception that they created whatever is the next best thing when rather they made a incremental improvement on the natural progression of a product life cycle ... but give credit where it is due they are a behemoth when it comes to the retail experience and the level of customer service ... night and day difference in these experiences Google, please rectify it. It makes it silly to have a building full of the brightest people who can't attempt to sell something online when you dominate on the Internet... it is a running joke this Play Store. Heads must roll!
wilsonlam97 said:
It deserves it's own thread.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Agreed with the others - this letter has been discussed ad nauseam in at least 2 other very large threads, so much so that one person that started another thread has already (as of earlier this afternoon) started a Google Docs spreadsheet where they are analyzing data entered by volunteers from this forum so that graphs and statistical analyses can be made correlating purchase time to shipping confirmation as well as how this data pertains to the email notification you wrote about.
Mods, please close this thread.
---------- Post added at 09:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:46 PM ----------
ryan92084 said:
It really doesn't. Also the E-mail doesn't say what you seem to think it does. Within 3 weeks means any time from today up untill 3 weeks. I'm not overly optomistic about the time frame myself but the thread title is still misleading at best.
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Click to collapse
Yes I had been reading about people's experiences with this backorder email for several hours already, since it was distributed around 3:00-4:00pm EST this afternoon, and then I see this thread title, and obviously I had to assume that someone had some NEW information, linking to a story at Engadget where perhaps they had confirmed that no additional units would be shipped for at least 3 weeks. But then I find, it was just a useless rehash of news and information the rest of us have been looking at and discussing for nearly 7 hours in other threads.
WTF.
joeski27 said:
Agreed with the others - this letter has been discussed ad nauseam in at least 2 other very large threads, so much so that one person that started another thread has already (as of earlier this afternoon) started a Google Docs spreadsheet where they are analyzing data entered by volunteers from this forum so that graphs and statistical analyses can be made correlating purchase time to shipping confirmation as well as how this data pertains to the email notification you wrote about.
Mods, please close this thread.
---------- Post added at 09:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:46 PM ----------
Yes I had been reading about people's experiences with this backorder email for several hours already, since it was distributed around 3:00-4:00pm EST this afternoon, and then I see this thread title, and obviously I had to assume that someone had some NEW information, linking to a story at Engadget where perhaps they had confirmed that no additional units would be shipped for at least 3 weeks. But then I find, it was just a useless rehash of news and information the rest of us have been looking at and discussing for nearly 7 hours in other threads.
WTF.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Yes but even backorders take "up to 3 weeks" (don't be optimistic). So people who haven't been able to order will obviously have to wait longer than that.
#firstworldproblems
x1000.
Get over it
Hello All:
I came here seeking advice from tech savvy individuals before my situation gets out of hand.
I have been engaged for several months now and I do everything for her - and I mean everything! From romantic dates, to helping her learn English (I create study plans), I treat her with love, respect and kindness, I am honest, I am faithful, I cook for her almost everyday day ...heck, I even rub her feet at night! I try to be the best man that I can.
She seemed like the perfect girl at first and showed me great character, personality and beauty - althogh some of my friends are skeptical and believe she may be using me for a Canadian citizenship (she is from Africa).
In the last two months, I have caught her erasing WhatsApp messages, SMS, call history, etc. I began periodically checking her phone and found that she was heavily into pornography (everyday - please have a mature mind), so I spoke to her about it - she downright lied to my face when I had asked her 5 times and now, she deletes her browser history regularly. I have always caught her deleting POF (plenty of fish) emails as they come in, but she claims she is inactive.
One night, when we were both laying in bed, she received a call from this guy at 23h30 (1130pm) while we were watching a romantic movie - she takes it. For the next 30 minutes, she spoke to him in her native tongue, laughed, smiled and I overheard the guy on the phone, who was talking in a deep flirtacious voice (most of you know what this means). I asked her to drop the call and she laughed at me and continued.
This is when I began to suspect she was cheating on me and perhaps that my friends were right all along.
I am using a GPS tracker on her phone (via Google Location History and Device Manager) and on several occasions, where she was supposed to be at work, the GPS reports shows her 5-7 minutes away from work in a hotel for 2-3 hours! I have all the data printed for a potential confrontation.
My question to you is how accurate is this GPS? It says 22-30 feet, but is it REALLY 22-30 feet? The GPS circle doesn't even range at her work area - could I be wrong or am I just in denial?
Can I perhaps PM someone screenshots of this to get a second/third look?
I am highly considering placing a spy Android app on her phone to get a second set of "proof" to end the engagement before I get burned. Please give me your advice and assistance as I don't want my marriage to be a sham and have my life completely destroyed. I have already given up a high paying job so we can be in proximity amongst other things - heck, I even plan to give up my dream of being a teacher because the university she was accepted to (the entire city) does not have my program - it's just too far and we all know how well long distance relationships work, right? ...I feel sick to my stomach right now.
Thoughts?
Talk to her?
Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk
Kareem83 said:
Hello All:
I came here seeking advice from tech savvy individuals before my situation gets out of hand.
I have been engaged for several months now and I do everything for her - and I mean everything! From romantic dates, to helping her learn English (I create study plans), I treat her with love, respect and kindness, I am honest, I am faithful, I cook for her almost everyday day ...heck, I even rub her feet at night! I try to be the best man that I can.
She seemed like the perfect girl at first and showed me great character, personality and beauty - althogh some of my friends are skeptical and believe she may be using me for a Canadian citizenship (she is from Africa).
In the last two months, I have caught her erasing WhatsApp messages, SMS, call history, etc. I began periodically checking her phone and found that she was heavily into pornography (everyday - please have a mature mind), so I spoke to her about it - she downright lied to my face when I had asked her 5 times and now, she deletes her browser history regularly. I have always caught her deleting POF (plenty of fish) emails as they come in, but she claims she is inactive.
One night, when we were both laying in bed, she received a call from this guy at 23h30 (1130pm) while we were watching a romantic movie - she takes it. For the next 30 minutes, she spoke to him in her native tongue, laughed, smiled and I overheard the guy on the phone, who was talking in a deep flirtacious voice (most of you know what this means). I asked her to drop the call and she laughed at me and continued.
This is when I began to suspect she was cheating on me and perhaps that my friends were right all along.
I am using a GPS tracker on her phone (via Google Location History and Device Manager) and on several occasions, where she was supposed to be at work, the GPS reports shows her 5-7 minutes away from work in a hotel for 2-3 hours! I have all the data printed for a potential confrontation.
My question to you is how accurate is this GPS? It says 22-30 feet, but is it REALLY 22-30 feet? The GPS circle doesn't even range at her work area - could I be wrong or am I just in denial?
Can I perhaps PM someone screenshots of this to get a second/third look?
I am highly considering placing a spy Android app on her phone to get a second set of "proof" to end the engagement before I get burned. Please give me your advice and assistance as I don't want my marriage to be a sham and have my life completely destroyed. I have already given up a high paying job so we can be in proximity amongst other things - heck, I even plan to give up my dream of being a teacher because the university she was accepted to (the entire city) does not have my program - it's just too far and we all know how well long distance relationships work, right? ...I feel sick to my stomach right now.
Thoughts?
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Well, that's a lot of Information to cover. The thing I would be asking yourself is if you were vindicated could you cope with it? If she hasn't done a thing and you were wrong could you put your paranoia behind you? What's been happening here in my personal opinion is unhealthy for you at minimum and very damaging to your relationship. I'm concerned about how little you mention any positives about her. Even if you do get your answers has the damage already been done?
You should never have to give up your dreams for love.
As far as GPS is concerned it can be accurate to a few metres if conditions are optimal for example a clear unobstructed skyline and satellite above. Things can get distorted when buildings get involved, interference from other technology etc.
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Break up with her now and cut your loses. Also, next time, don't be so nice. Ugly truth is, you got to be a slight jerk with your women for her to respect you. Don't ask my why, it's the way it is. If you're in a relationship, be the man, not the servant in the relationship.
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@Kareem83 Ohh man, I feel sorry for you. Not because of what she does, but because your suffering for not being able to let go of her. If there's any truths to all what you say, then there's only one way for you to be happy, drop her, like she's hot! And I say this, not because it is impossible to live with a person that have other interests, but because (1) you are not able to speak to each other about this, in an honest way, and (2) since you're even bringing this up here, it means you're really suffering from the idea that she could be with others.
Whoot! Giving up your job and dreams for a woman is just so wrong. It will never last, and it will not make either one of you happy, in the long run.
At this point you only have two options.
1) Let her go, and with that I mean get rid of her! Never fight with her when or before leaving, leave her as a proud man with good memories. Tell her you love her, but that you're just not her type.
2) Completely accept and embrace the fact that we live in a modern world where we as humans are more than capable to have multiple relationships and sexual partners, and still love each other. But from little psycho-analysis possible from your text above, this is not the right type of a relationship for you.
Good Luck!
(And please let us know what you do and how it goes.)
PS. There's no need for any more tracking and spying, just get over your denial and make a decision.
Ya Bud,if you havent yet,I'd kick her to the curb.Sounds like she is at the very least still looking for something else.Trust is most important in a relationship if you ain't got that,you got sh!t
Hey everyone, I'm E-Jay and 2 years ago I knew absolutely nothing about Android, apps, or anything related to it. I was interested in Facebook and only because in 2013 I had started a group for people recovering from drug and alcohol addiction or looking for help finding recovery resources, I myself am in recovery, and it was more successful than I ever could imagine. Unfortunately in 2018 I had left the group in the hands of my #1 admin while I was out of town working because I didn't have the spare time to put 100% into the group and it's membership and I had done this multiple times in the 5yrs of it's existence. Now with over 10k followers and a list of on call recovery professionals we called The Recovery Professional Network, we guaranteed that any active user anywhere in the USA would be in a bed in a rehab center within 24hrs of reaching out for help as long as they did they're part and followed through and not a single time was that promise broken. Including one Alaskan member which amazed even me. During my absence the woman running the group added an admin member who we both knew from interaction in the group who I never cared for but Rachel, my admin really liked. When she asked if I was ok with it I told her about the alarm bells that went off the time I talked to her but know I'm a very unsocial person and said it's her call because I was away indefinitely and she went ahead and added her. About a month later I noticed I hadn't gotten notifications from my group in a few days and normally got 20+ so signed in and to my surprise the new admin member had removed Rachel from the group and blocked her, removed the other admins, and put By Her Name with her work title next to her name. Even removed my active profile but fortunately I still had access to the profile I started the group with and as owner she couldn't remove me. I had no idea how long it had been like that but immediately logged in the owner profile, removed her, and took her name off the page. Unfortunately, the damage was done. She had used my group for her job as a headhunter for recovery centers. At that time it was a common practice and they were banned from the group because the profession was known for underhanded tactics, illegal even. She had gotten a minor from the group in a Florida rehab, flew him down, did the paperwork fictitiously, and used with him when he got there. The mother was being charged with Medicaid fraud and the kid a mess and worse than ever in his addiction. So, I decided that the damage to the group was to much to recover from. I didn't have the free time it would take to repair the damage done. So I archived it because I always said if it ever got to where it wasn't the tool that active users could count on to help them, free of charge, any way possible in their recovery I would shut it down. I did exactly that. About 6 months later started another one that was attached to a conspiracy theory blog. Once again it was more successful than I imagined. About 2 months in with a couple thousand followers I started researching groups that are tied to the subject and did a post about the yellow vest protest in France. The research for this brought me into contact with Anoyomous and other hacktivist groups because they are front line fighters against what is known as the NWO, one of the most well known conspiracy theories and in my eyes one that has evidence of truth everywhere you look. I started noticing strange things my PC and then my phone started to do and eventually shut the group down because I was certain I had been hacked. I got consumed by trying to figure out who and how someone was doing what was going on with my devices. Everyone I know thought I was crazy and after 18 months of looking and telling people who always had same reaction of looking at me like I lost my mind and saying as much behind my back, I quit talking about it. I even stopped using my phone even though I knew I was right because 50 or more times I thought I was being led to a certain thing that I was being led to believe was happening in my personal life that ended up being true. 100% of the conclusions I thought was being told to me ended up being true. Yet still, everybody thought I was crazy and still do honestly. Yesterday I discovered Total Virus and scanned my device there and finally I have proof my OS is corrupted. The scan found a keylogger, 2 Trojas one which is a dropper and hides the viruses in legit apps so antivirus apps don't find them, and finally a RAT or Remote Operation Terminal that gives the owner full operational control of my device including the mic, camera, and files. The reason I am posting here is to ask for help A-tracing who did this because part of me suspects it's someone I know but the other part remembers the time with the hacktivist and a argument I had with one certain person that ended with us both not liking each other. B-emoving these from my system without losing everything and having to start over. I have made countless Google accounts, profiles, multiple devices, and have deleted more apps than I can count yet still at this followed me through these two years. I appreciate any help I can get and thank you in advance. I look forward meeting anyone from this forum who thinks they can help and has the willingness to do so. I attached Screenshots Of the Total VIRUS scAN aND SD maids oVErVIeW oF MY dEvCE.
5yr old's bday is planned 2weeks ahead of time, then morning of, my brother who asked to host, asked to cancel and reschedule for the following day.
Reasons given, my brother's fiancé has her mom's death anniversary, and her grandmother is in the ICU with skin cancer, and she can't get it off work.
1) If this day bothered you so much, wouldn't you have recognized the date when we planned it? Or at least just not the morning of?
2) for skin cancer to put you in the ICU, that means you've had it for a while, so it's no shock. So go be with your grandma, absolutely, but why does it matter if you're with her today but not tomorrow? Plus you could be with her from 8am-4pm, then come to the party?
3) you can't get off work and you just found out now, even though you said you were booking it off 2weeks ago?
Aside from the fact that any sane/rational person would've just opted out so as not to inconvenience everyone else, she also assumed no one had anything else scheduled for the following day. Reverse the roles, if I was going to someone else's bday party and the morning of felt horrible, would I ask that person (and everyone else) to reschedule for tomorrow? No, definitely not.
What are your thoughts?
Personally... I think his reason is valid, his girlfriend's grandma is important to him. At the same time, you've planned this for two weeks so it would be a lot of work to reschedule.
My proposal: Have your kid's birthday, if your brother can't host then oh well, but welcome him to come when he can. Even if it's a day late, even if he misses the party, I'm sure your kid will appreciate seeing their uncle.
Life happens. Don't hold it against people.
To me, it's valid. Remember that we're talking about a birthday party for a kid who is in kindergarten or first grade. Does anyone remember their own 5th birthday and the associated celebration of it? I didn't think so.
Also, unless you are one of those parents that plans an extravaganza for such things and spends thousands of dollars on it, it's not that great of an inconvenience for you or your guests to show up the next day for an hour or so and wish the kid a happy birthday and possibly give him/her a gift. (Don't start on me with the pronouns argument, please. It's the kid's birthday we are celebrating here.)
It's also a teaching moment where the kid will learn that life doesn't always go according to plan and we must make due with what life gives us. The kid will probably cry and express frustration at not having the party as planned, but it's good to get used to those things happening at a young age so that in the future your kid won't grow up to be a YouTube "entitled person" and be the focus of bad commentary about how they melt down like a snowflake when things don't go right.
Have cupcakes with your kid on their birthday and a quiet celebration with the knowledge that most of the guests will be over tomorrow for the real party.
V0latyle said:
Personally... I think his reason is valid, his girlfriend's grandma is important to him. At the same time, you've planned this for two weeks so it would be a lot of work to reschedule.
My proposal: Have your kid's birthday, if your brother can't host then oh well, but welcome him to come when he can. Even if it's a day late, even if he misses the party, I'm sure your kid will appreciate seeing their uncle.
Life happens. Don't hold it against people.
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Your proposal is a little more complex as now the decorations and supplies (that were brought over there last week) need to be picked up, moved and put back up. While it isn't a big deal, it's an unnecessary 2hr drive there and back, plus setup time. There isn't enough time in the day, so having it tomorrow is unavoidable now, crushing whatever plans people had. My mom frequently works on Sunday, I don't even want to ask her. While my wife and I did had plans for tomorrow, luckily it's wasn't with my wife's parents and we could easily move it to today.
I'm impressed with your outlook on things, don't think I could do it given I'm also undergoing life saving treatment right now. My hat's off to you, the world needs more kind people like you in it. All the best.
blaacksheep said:
To me, it's valid. Remember that we're talking about a birthday party for a kid who is in kindergarten or first grade. Does anyone remember their own 5th birthday and the associated celebration of it? I didn't think so.
Also, unless you are one of those parents that plans an extravaganza for such things and spends thousands of dollars on it, it's not that great of an inconvenience for you or your guests to show up the next day for an hour or so and wish the kid a happy birthday and possibly give him/her a gift. (Don't start on me with the pronouns argument, please. It's the kid's birthday we are celebrating here.)
It's also a teaching moment where the kid will learn that life doesn't always go according to plan and we must make due with what life gives us. The kid will probably cry and express frustration at not having the party as planned, but it's good to get used to those things happening at a young age so that in the future your kid won't grow up to be a YouTube "entitled person" and be the focus of bad commentary about how they melt down like a snowflake when things don't go right.
Have cupcakes with your kid on their birthday and a quiet celebration with the knowledge that most of the guests will be over tomorrow for the real party.
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I know the kid won't be able to tell the difference, I'm talking more of the inconvenience for everyone else. What's the point of planning something with multiple people 2weeks ahead of time, if we're just going to force everyone to do it on another day so as to accommodate one person? It sounds ridiculous to suggest, because that would mean there is never a choice then? Choice is only an illusion.
To me, the logical answer would be to have the one person that can't make it (for whatever reason), not make it. If "the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one", then the decision is clear. 5 people inconvenienced, versus 1, and really, how inconvenienced can you be if you've only met the kid less than 10 times, and miss one of the many children's parties.
IMO ( worldwide accepted) common valid reasons to cancel last minute include sudden illness or injury, family emergencies, unexpected work obligations, transportation issues, and inclement weather.
IMPORTANT:
Don’ text them your excuse, CALL THEM.
jwoegerbauer said:
IMO ( worldwide accepted) common valid reasons to cancel last minute include sudden illness or injury, family emergencies, unexpected work obligations, transportation issues, and inclement weather.
IMPORTANT:
Don’ text them your excuse, CALL THEM.
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Lol, indeed those are all great reasons for YOU not to make it, which would've been 100% cool. It's not the first time she missed a family event. If it were me, I would've bailed on the party and went to be with my ill relative. If she just wanted to stay in bed, and maybe come down for 15min to have dessert, 100% cool with me too. But to shut down the entire party morning of, inconvenience everyone else by scrambling last minute to rearrange plans, all while presuming everyone is free on the day you choose.......no, that's selfish.