Database Develop

What grinds your gears?

Let some steam off and tell us what makes you go crazy.
That buzzing sound speakers make when someone calls you or when you receive a text message.
Cars that jump right in front of you then accelerate slooooooowly when you arrive at 90 km/h

You know what really grinds my gears?
This Lindsay Lohan. Eh? Lindsay Lohan with all those little outfits, jumping around there on stage, half naked with your little outfits. Ya know? You're ou... You're out there jumping around and I'm just sitting here with my beer. So, you know, what am I supposed to do? What do you what do you, what do you want? You know, are we gonna go out? Is that what you're trying to - why why are you leaping around there, throwing those things all up in my, over there in my face? What do you want, Lindsay? Tell me what you want? Well, I'll tell you what you want, you want nothing. You want nothing. All right? Because we all know that no woman anywhere wants to have sex with anyone, and to titillate us with any thoughts otherwise is - is just bogus.

Perhaps not all related to my ears but...
- The old lady in a great sports car driving at 40Km/h
- The corrupt policeman
- The long lines to pay for something on Xmas
- Posts like this (joking)
And so on.....

orb3000 said:
- The old lady in a great sports car driving at 40Km/h
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Or anyone getting the best version of something they will barely use, like old people getting the V6 engine in their awesome Camry and rolling at ridiculously slow speeds or my father getting a N97 when he only phones people, no texts or anything.
Also, people getting what you are saving for without even asking or requiring it. Looking at you and your 32GB iPhone, babe. It's alright, I still love you.

Just about everything, I would list them all but I'm sure there is a limit of characters I would go over.
-Those people that get in groups in a long hallway, blocking your passage through that walk at 1mi. an hour
-That one guy that when your driving is slow, but as soon as you pass him speeds up, gets in front of you, and slows down.
-That stupid gmail animation in my extension on chrome, i can turn it off but that requires clicks
-Clearing my history after months, and then finding out I needed a page and can't find it
-Bots on Twitter
-Answering some same stupid question in the same hour
-Having a cluttered bookmark bar
-That door that squeaks just a little too loud
-That feeling that someone is watching you at all times
-Being told I'm wrong, then they go back and find out I was right
-Having to correct my teacher's grammatical errors
-Accidentally hitting the caps lock instead of shift
-Having to press the 'fn' button to get the F(1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11, & 12) keys
-Arguments over the stupidest things
-Apple
-Apple's iPad
-Apple thinking the iPad is the best thing since fire
-Using the word Apple
-That stupid pillow fight on Facebook, it's a wall posting of empty promises
-Writing extremely long posts
-Knowing nobody is gonna make it this far
-That shampoo that smells really bad
-Washing a cup to use it but forgetting to do that last rinse and get that taste of meaty soap in your drink
-Having to cha-cha in the cha-cha slide
-Pressing on my G1 screen and hearing a creak (fixed)\
-Having to explain why my phone is better than a stock G1
-Having to talk to Apple fanbois
-Having to listen to fanbois think they had a feature first, when they didn't
-Having to hear about Steve Gods
-Having that one app that won't update ever
-People who write in all caps
-People who don't capitalize
-People who don't make use of paragraphs
-Ppl who typ n txt tlk
-Being asked why they can't type like that
-My mousepad randomly dies and needs to be jump-started by pressing really hard and furious-like for 30 seconds
-Not being able to afford a Nexus
-People who tease with the nexus, like being teased by an expensive hooker
-People who add extra vowels in words (okaaaaaaaaay)
Having to go back and edit things
-Getting 200 text messages out of unlimited a month
-Using more data than talk time
-Did I mention Apple fanbois?

Let's see here...
-When you ask your wife (whom you know is upset) if everything is okay, and she says "yes" as she's furiously slamming the dishes in the washer.
-Wife/girlfriend telling you to stop the car because she is so upset with you not doing what she wants, then getting mad at you when she does go home walking...even though you did what she wanted...
-Women that look pregnant, though they're not (don't dare tell me that has never happened before)
-Really, really having to use the restroom (public one) only to walk into what seems to wreak like a dying skunk. Courtesy flush people...
-People with awesome phones, and only use them to make phone calls.
-iPhone users without a data plan...
-Going through Mcdonald's and ordering a big mac meal and realizing that THEY FORGOT THE FREAKING STRAW!!!!!
-People that actually drive at 10 and 2...they scare me
-Stepping in wet dog poop...at least that's what you hope it was...
-Managers that like to rub their title in employees faces
-backstabbers
-Cheeto cheese that gets stuck inside your nails...
-Car spare donut tire...why can't they just put a full size spare?
-Girl scouts trying to sell you cookies outside a grocery store
-Getting hit in the groin (at the top of my list)
-When you walk outside in the freezimg cold to pick up your mail and you receive nothing but junkmail
-Guys with really girly voices
-Flashing to a ROM update only to realize that it's faulty and buggy and that you were better off with the one you had before...
-Chipotle

When UPS is driving up and down your road every damn day (around noon), and the day you're expecting a package, they're NOWHERE to be found... until 6:59PM when they practically doorbell ditch your package there.

You know what really grinds my gears? People in the 19th century. Why don't they get with the freakin program? It's called an automobile, folks. It's much faster than a horse!
You know what really grinds my gears? Nobody's come up with a new priest and a rabbi joke in like thirty years. Ya know? I mean, okay, ah, umm. Priest and a rabbi go, go onto the supermarket, and, uh, the priest wants to buy a ham. And the rabbi says, "Ah, I can't eat it. It's forbidden." Couldn't eat it. Not allowed, pigs are like superheroes to them. Is it perfect? No, but I, I don't see you coming up with anything.

beaner69 said:
You know what really grinds my gears? People in the 19th century. Why don't they get with the freakin program? It's called an automobile, folks. It's much faster than a horse!
You know what really grinds my gears? Nobody's come up with a new priest and a rabbi joke in like thirty years. Ya know? I mean, okay, ah, umm. Priest and a rabbi go, go onto the supermarket, and, uh, the priest wants to buy a ham. And the rabbi says, "Ah, I can't eat it. It's forbidden." Couldn't eat it. Not allowed, pigs are like superheroes to them. Is it perfect? No, but I, I don't see you coming up with anything.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Okay...thought I didn't have this one...
noobies with lame jokes.

When you are playing football in a sports hall and someone kicks the ball to the side and you kick it back (like everybody does) and then you get shouted at and kicked in the thigh
That does me head in!!!
So i get shouted out for what everybody does anyway!!!!!!
WANK**S!!!
FLYBOY

"- The long lines to pay for something on Xmas"
well buy them online!
"- The corrupt policeman"
well buy them online!

Rudegar said:
"- The long lines to pay for something on Xmas"
well buy them online!
"- The corrupt policeman"
well buy them online!
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
The moderator that closes threads all too easily-
well bribe them online!
*nudge nudge*
*wink wink*
*$5 handshake*

telegraph0000 said:
Let's see here...
-iPhone users without a data plan...
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Some of us just want an iPod Touch with the phone and GPS. In my case I've got Wi-Fi at home, at school, at work and at my girlfriend's house. Canadian carriers charge an arm for data.
Useless classes in cegep (college). I don't need 3 semesters of philosophy, 1 of phys. ed and 4 of litterature, I just want to play with ******* computers!

Rudegar said:
"- The long lines to pay for something on Xmas"
well buy them online!
"- The corrupt policeman"
well buy them online!
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Lol!!
- You took out the pleasure of seing people on a shopping mall
- Can you buy the Mexican police please?!!!!

[rant] If there's one thing that annoys me beyond belief, it's people who bring too many items into the 12 Items or Less Express Lane. IT'S NOT THAT DIFFICULT TO SEE WHEN YOU HAVE MORE THAN 12 ITEMS IN YOUR BASKET. Yet, people insist on taking too many items into the Express Lane, and because the people who do so are usually very stubborn, you often end up waiting the offender to argue with the checker about what constitutes an item, and whether they really have more than 12 items. After they inevitably lose this argument, they then must gather all their things back up and move to a different line, at which point the checker could have already served 2 or 3 customers instead of dealing with an insane person who can't do basic arithmetic.[/rant] Much better

- When my parents don't let me do anything with my friends.
- When I accept something on FACEBOOK and it shows fake pictures that "I uploaded"
- When my butt itches like right now and i can't itch it!

What makes me mad is when people have their music playing super loud in their car, and to make things worse there windows are rolled down also!!!!!!!!

Digging your car out of 2 freaking feet of snow, making the sorroundings (and your car) nice.and clean only to have your.retard neighbor clean their snow off their car and block your drivers side!!!!!! DARN YOU WILSON!!! DARN YOU TO HECK!!!!! Expect a burning paper bag on your front porch!!!!!

Wall Street's total disconnect with Main Street!

3 Word Story Put togethe CURRENTLY AT PAGE 55!!! (o'.')-o Q('.'Q)

Hello thought i'd put it all together to make it easier to read im still adding but feel free to help add to it
if you cant tell im bored :/ btw also added txt file if you want to add then re upload in []'s is extra info or bits i added to make sense in ()'s is things that were there but don't make much sense
Edit: quite offended by some of the iPad comments on here as im using my ipad for the story and pc for typing
The fat man ran twenty miles round and round until he fell and went to rehab for
falling then he got up and started to dance like a chinpanzee with a very very large
pen in his left pocket, then went to mexico where he dated a rather nice banana in
pinstripes who was suspiciously not what she wanted to eat.
Whilst that's happening far far away on a distant planet where the came back
from the plastic beach geting blown by a mexican guy using a very large thread
closing moderator who closed a very sticky situation.
"Get yourself into a mental rehab" Mcintyre was singing, to an iphone, then found XDA
whilst browsing porn and did stuff with his tiny girl friends hand which was also
another name for a transforming robot which has the power to transform and split into
a HUGELY big piece of junk, which is worthless. Sell it quickly otherwise it will be
an iPhone, then your buggered, unless you dance to the biggest rom chef here whilst
chugging some delicious apple juice, which you made trying to forget about your Apple
with a worm.
Her big headahe caused me agro deep inside my thought about going to get some new
super powers so i can fly to a place where stories end but they don't and continue to
be exruciatingly long when all i want is to smash an iphone over something realy a
work of art like WP7S.
Sink or swim like Captain Planet when he go crying like a dirty girl trying to find
a Golden HD2 party in vegas that had a funny thing attatched [PAGE 10] used for
blowing small little holes in walls and a train that stopped in the middle of the
intergalactic track which was littered with broken iphones which she always hated.
Dark cloudy skies only on Wednesdays or possibly Mondays when there is a spaceship
that used humans for thousands of years as an army to stop apple from taking over
Microsoft Windows Mobile because I love this amazing invention.
Chips glorious Chips wich i threw at your mum with a hot dog in a hallway and
slipped into ROM cooking frenzy but my device dropped into a pile of stinky rotting
apples which i'll eat after, whilst laughing at steve jobs who's such a smoking weed
dude who likes unicorns roasted with sauce on a shiny just washed underpant.
It's about time to watch 'The annoying Orange' advert thats should die very slowly
whilst creating non-lactoseintolerant cheese for his girl friend who likes things
bigger kind of like my big ego [PAGE 15] which also likes tobasco sauce on chilli
con carni and fish and chips in a house with no windows or any apples just palm and
android. Palm was bought by apple machintosh, a stupid brand who has milkshakes and
many cows.However, The cows like to smoke some candy ciggarets on the xda portal and
learn about how to ride starships into orbit whilst eating crispy Kentuck Fried
Chicken and then a big mac attack with fries and mcnugget grenades,whoppers, and
lemonade.
Meanwhile the starship crashed on steve Martin, not jobs, in the market on a sale.
Meanwhile the cockroach was singing with History Maker by Delirious and also with
post man pat, [who] squated and shat on the ipad, which was worse than a frickin
android and palm bad buisnes plan or better put Poop in a pan.
"4 Words bro" said Fallen Spartan laughing his head, Shooting the Armeter with her
hand and then jumped [PAGE 20] out of bed. What a voyage! What a Dream! to the other
side of the world through a wormhole chased the mole through the shoal of sweaty
clothes which then lead to the creation of the cyber phone which killed off
Steve jobs and Apple for good.
April fools day is the beggining to annoy people but its over, not next time because
the oldman died from non stop laughing of a joke about fishing boats and his desire
to feel free swimming in water [being] accused of man slaughter thinking why the
elephant ate a pink ribbon with a text in cuneiform script written in invisible,
about mac os4.0 and it's ability to crap without flushing the toilet and smell like
a decade old.
A new millennium with a giant appetite for apples didn't fill my pocket with lots.
Brush your teeth with a good and very brown chocolate mars bar that everyone hated
[PAGE 25]like an iphone, that people threw in the loo that was nasty just like poo
and like wee little green men [that] seem to run little leprachauns who are evil
No flights allowed due to ash and plane crashes which happened to no one any where.
How's this story going on untill now please advice, which i know makes no sence
but i don't involve myself in any meaningfull conversation [because it] would be
fruitless because he loved all the double posts [because it] help to increase
my post count so i can get 300 posts then get more, nothing to post because a
mod will make you cry for mama.(What the hell are we talking [about] in this thread?
(Simon posting crazy, pimple or boil?, for food or increased post count, no more
flashing, my eyes hurt so i need [to] go to specsavers and get a cool pair of Orsis
sunglasses, Please ban simon [PAGE 30] just because he is quadrupling his post count
haha)
(Feel like puking on this forum because it's something, something green yellow and
blue and that douche called me noobie as well all were once smoke to much simon
posts noncense he wont quit and keep posting read this post Please ban simon second
the motion y'all are mean we are not yes you are why you little amazingly handsome
person you wish buddy like the other no0b that went looking 4 a girlvery very
unlikley he gets love,in his dreams likley to be wet beond measure unless with a
rulerGramatical error encountered stop replying to "the frog went" [Nice try to
start the story again there by M_T_M ] everything i post no frog reply? whadaya
mean by frog)
"Anyway how are you doing today?" "I'm going to make out with your left hand"
also with my HD2 that i use for cooking dinner for my [PAGE 35] beautiful
HTC device.
Rock around the clock, 1 o'clock , no [it's] actualy 3, [oh wait] or maybe 4
when i went to kick (the) steve jobs because of his job trying to build a barbie
house out of iPad's on a piece of broken cardboard whichh happened to have a
HTC HD2 in it, [although] that was broken.
(i Hate braces by XDA forum)
Recieving a punch right at the nose of your very first wife "arhhhhhh~~!!!~!!"
she shout[ed] "pull it out" and kiss my three yellow zucchinis in my hand that i
punch[ed] you [with] in a private place leaving me unconcious because it's big.
(bad grammar again, btw afaic imnsho, speaking in tounges, with avatar accent)
Whilst texting friends from holy tree to a Wower ( Out of idea's hi mr.clown)
and Master Yoda, Shower he took in his pants, a dangerous weapon lurks waiting
for the use on (a hot laptop) an innocent person [and] an elderly woman
who was hot [PAGE 40] he then lol'ed at the age of 85.
Enjoy living in college, this big thing he found yesterday was round and long,
kind of smelly like a soccer ball, or baby even.
Keep her happy for 48 hours, (and) [also] the baby cried for candy that was
spicy and very sweet according to her tounge [which was] used for collecting
more samples, which enhances recreational activities during practice on
monday evenings, running around naked in his house.
(Dang your fast, your just old, but better looking, you wish @ , the age of
50 whilst im only 15 and good looking Beat that, bed ridden always, im sexy
and amazing and every one loves me, high on crack (obviously) and this old
, ignored by old)
The man mentioned in the OP is my bestfriend and also my dress is stained red
like those in my closet that look awful to me and (rock roll animal)
(a mi no me gusta rock musica) potatoes and goats.
[PAGE 45] like llamas and french calendar cookies who enjoy a good cup of
my new senior member memberness.
(that's cheating dude, that's completley right)
Once upon a time there was ( i like desire, i like me, sense made none
mocking you are, forgive me peace, i love u 2,)
Old school stuff is just a joke today from a clown who's named Bozo,
or Mr.Pennywise who makes funny jokes of lemons out of his list of
victims and People magazine [whilst] sharpening his knife [and]
gutting [a] big deer, thinking about stuff [like] the new iphone 4
(random iphone reference??) that was trashed by a gnome.
"Drink more beer" "Out of rum?"
(needs some posting, stop double postingn stop stopping me, you old man, why
i oughta)
Why don't you run like hell outa this website and [then] rush back because of
ORUD.
(whoever that is??, this still going??, amazingly yes continue,Anyway
where were we?, playing this game [PAGE 50], an ORUD is
obessesive Rom updating dissorder, game in overtime , or rolling ur dum butt,
that 3 plus,learn to count,Going party now, well deserved Orb,
arriving from party, welcome back orb.)
Nite, work tomorow,dance all night sleep
all day, Now @ work, i saw something /"\ hahaha, very mature indeed, and sometimes
childish, with some new direction of thinking, whil task 29 phone, when your strange,
strange what galaxys???, thats goors lyrics,obscure reference now, Nonsense funny
thread,)
Miliz is old (why you little) but wise enough to fry squirrels and eat them and
[then give] (gave) them to my hackintosh.
(yo quireo un Hackintosh,) one fine day,( with old men, what the hell, just happened
here?,) withh all this, insane music playin whilst vigrously touching a bald eagle
on a tree branch eating raw monkey flesh till [THE] (he) (grammatical error above)
teacher flunkeed (you) [him] whilst drinking something he doesnt like [PAGE 55]

Reserved for more

One more here

And one more to be safe (almost 200 pages in 4 posts if its completed

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahhaahahahaaaaaaa
Well don Macarony!!! Keep it up

We can have a best seller with that story.

Mr. Clown said:
We can have a best seller with that story.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
We should make a book out of it....i would buy it
Sent from my ADR6300 using XDA App

pretty f'n' funny.
good day.

hehe yeah publish it nd call it the story of off topic XDA or somthing better starting to some more just got back in

Update now got to page 50 !!!!
bracket () = junk
not mentioning names but it's mostly OG (guests i think), M_T_M and simon_WM just metioning
and were at 1585 words it could almost be a book and 8793 letters
(that might be incorect becaue ive tried 3 they all give me dif results )

Page 55
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

MacaronyMax said:
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
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Click to collapse
page 55 is the page where i first come in to the three word story!!!!

lol of topic a sec but how did you change your name ??

MacaronyMax said:
lol of topic a sec but how did you change your name ??
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
i contacted @mikechannon and asked him to do it for me!

Cool thanks

Your thoughts on my short film

Hey guys, I would love to hear your opinions on my short film that i've made. This is my 2nd short film including my student short film from last year.
We spent about $300 for the whole short film, pre-production to completion. We didn't have much money to make the movie to begin with, so we went in and hoped for the best. The crew was very small too, but I guess we have to start somewhere
I encountered many problems, which you'd expect for such a low budget short film (especially actors), but I've learnt from those mistakes as I begin writing my next short film and hope for a much better output for the next one.
We got busted by the police for the traffic light scene with helicopters and all, but they were nice enough to let us go.
enjoy and let me know what you think
http://vimeo.com/18583050
PASSWORD: purgatory01
I'd appreciate it if you 'like' the page for extra support for our little crew of young film makers
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Aurolis-Pictures/333582799758

Psygnosis84 said:
Hey guys, I would love to hear your opinions on my short film that i've made. This is my 2nd short film including my student short film from last year.
We spent about $300 for the whole short film, pre-production to completion. We didn't have much money to make the movie to begin with, so we went in and hoped for the best. The crew was very small too, but I guess we have to start somewhere
I encountered many problems, which you'd expect for such a low budget short film (especially actors), but I've learnt from those mistakes as I begin writing my next short film and hope for a much better output for the next one.
We got busted by the police for the traffic light scene with helicopters and all, but they were nice enough to let us go.
enjoy and let me know what you think
http://vimeo.com/18583050
PASSWORD: purgatory01
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Sounds like you had some fun doing that! I would watch it, but I have to watch my download use for the rest of January... 10 days and we have used up 3/5 of our quota... and the movie file size is about 350mb I think it says, so tomorrow morning (off-peak ;D). Looks rather professional in the very first part!

Jonathon Grigg said:
Sounds like you had some fun doing that! I would watch it, but I have to watch my download use for the rest of January... 10 days and we have used up 3/5 of our quota... and the movie file size is about 350mb I think it says, so tomorrow morning (off-peak ;D). Looks rather professional in the very first part!
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
It was very challenging, especially shooting the whole film guerrilla style with no permission from the council, but I guess that's half the fun
looking forward to your feedback/criticism

Jonathon Grigg said:
Sounds like you had some fun doing that! I would watch it, but I have to watch my download use for the rest of January... 10 days and we have used up 3/5 of our quota... and the movie file size is about 350mb I think it says, so tomorrow morning (off-peak ;D). Looks rather professional in the very first part!
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
life is great living off a feeding tube isnt it
ot:
i think it was a bit too much of "dream in the dream" stuff , and i miss a happy ending , whys it called purgatory then ?
after purgatory folks end up in heaven but the ending story isnt what id call heaven

That was much more professional than what I was expecting. Good job.

Psygnosis84 said:
It was very challenging, especially shooting the whole film guerrilla style with no permission from the council, but I guess that's half the fun
looking forward to your feedback/criticism
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
That's more than half the fun! I have had some friends make very very short films, one of them they dressed up as a yeti and walked around the local streets So many cars stopped! I think one even started chasing them... still good times. I'll do my best in helping you with advice etc!

Will have a look and post later

Hmmm
Sent from my X10i

Psygnosis84 said:
Hey guys, I would love to hear your opinions on my short film that i've made. This is my 2nd short film including my student short film from last year.
We spent about $300 for the whole short film, pre-production to completion. We didn't have much money to make the movie to begin with, so we went in and hoped for the best. The crew was very small too, but I guess we have to start somewhere
I encountered many problems, which you'd expect for such a low budget short film (especially actors), but I've learnt from those mistakes as I begin writing my next short film and hope for a much better output for the next one.
We got busted by the police for the traffic light scene with helicopters and all, but they were nice enough to let us go.
enjoy and let me know what you think
http://vimeo.com/18583050
PASSWORD: purgatory01
I'd appreciate it if you 'like' the page for extra support for our little crew of young film makers
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Aurolis-Pictures/333582799758
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Well, firstly, you have a great camera-man! Those panning shots were smooth and I didn't see much if any shuddering etc. The focus is great, works especially well with the lights in the night, gives it some visual depth.
Music was soft and helpful for meaning in some scenes, and that keychain/locket was a good symbol for realising which car it was.
The actors weren't that bad in my opinion, way better than anything I could ever do Like others have said, it's more professional than I was expecting! The storyline was a bit confusing at times (or maybe it was me...) but I guess there's only so much you can fit into 16 minutes, so well done there.
Great job overall, keep up the good work! 'Liked' Maybe you should consider entering it somewhere, I'm not sure what's on in Sydney but it's worth a shot.
Just one thing though, why were you busted for the traffic light scene? Were you there for a while or something? I guess we only saw a tiny bit...

souljaboy said:
ot:
i think it was a bit too much of "dream in the dream" stuff , and i miss a happy ending , whys it called purgatory then ?
after purgatory folks end up in heaven but the ending story isnt what id call heaven
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
pur·ga·to·ry (pûrˈgə-tôrˌē, -tōrˌē)
noun pl. purgatories pur·ga·to·ries
A place or condition of suffering, expiation, or remorse: a purgatory of drug abuse.
purgatory; mental anguish or suffering
It's related to his past and the continued mental suffering he had every night. Especially the hallucinations caused by the pills he took to calm his anxiety attacks, which he didn't know were caused by the pills and was always stuck in this loop of events that haunted him, which is why the ending when Sandra's mother takes the pills from him, he is now able to deal with the past better because of the truth but also because the pills aren't there to bring back those hallucinations anymore to play with his mind again.
mikkohypponen said:
That was much more professional than what I was expecting. Good job.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Thanks , glad you liked it
Jonathon Grigg said:
That's more than half the fun! I have had some friends make very very short films, one of them they dressed up as a yeti and walked around the local streets So many cars stopped! I think one even started chasing them... still good times. I'll do my best in helping you with advice etc!
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Haha, I would've loved to see that!!
The one other thing I have to mention about this movie was the fact that the main character didn't know how to drive a car properly, he was very very bad actually. 'Smoke and mirrors' made him look like a very good driver in the end.

Jonathon Grigg said:
Well, firstly, you have a great camera-man! Those panning shots were smooth and I didn't see much if any shuddering etc. The focus is great, works especially well with the lights in the night, gives it some visual depth.
Music was soft and helpful for meaning in some scenes, and that keychain/locket was a good symbol for realising which car it was.
The actors weren't that bad in my opinion, way better than anything I could ever do Like others have said, it's more professional than I was expecting! The storyline was a bit confusing at times (or maybe it was me...) but I guess there's only so much you can fit into 16 minutes, so well done there.
Great job overall, keep up the good work! 'Liked' Maybe you should consider entering it somewhere, I'm not sure what's on in Sydney but it's worth a shot.
Just one thing though, why were you busted for the traffic light scene? Were you there for a while or something? I guess we only saw a tiny bit...
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
We got busted by the cops because we had one car sit in the middle of the road high beaming the main characters car (when his face lights up as the other car speeds up towards him). This was around 11pm and the neighbours probably thought were doing something illegal like preparing for a drag race (we were beaming each other for 10 minutes) All of a sudden the ground illuminates and we look up and see a helicopter shining a light towards us, a minute later police arrive :\
The story was confusing at times but I made it so you essentially had to look back at even the subtle stuff he did, such as taking the pills then immediately after seeing the ghost car and girl to get a drift of the story.
To ease the confusion a bit for everyone, he was chasing himself. I left it open in one of the sections when Sandra reveals her name. In the story the character say's he doesn't know her however if the pills were causing only hallucinations, then how does he know he name. I left this part open for the audience to think for themselves. Did he know her name because of her death being mentioned at school but had completely forgotten about her until that night when he finally chases his own car and meets the girl or was she really a ghost who came down to tell him the truth about her actions.
The story was too complex for a short film but I think it was only after seeing so many simple linear short films that I wanted to take a different approach.
About entering it into festivals. I'm worried that the film isn't "good enough" yet to be shown at film festivals because of the small problems here and there. I'm trying to create a short film that really stands out at the film festivals and I personally don't believe this film is there yet.
Glad you liked it

I'm watching it right now, seen half of it, slow streaming
pretty cool, love it
only you have one problem, the camera shadow appears look at the photo

husam666 said:
I'm watching it right now, seen half of it, slow streaming
pretty cool, love it
only you have one problem, the camera shadow appears look at the photo
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Yeah I noticed that, but I couldn't do anything about it because by the time the other car turns left, it doesn't leave much room to fit in that shot and to give it the same kind of impact. I wanted to cut on the action of the main character turning left to the motion of the car but unfortunately the street lights caused a shadow. In the end, it was a very small problem that I couldn't to cut out because the content of the material was more important than the shadow appearing.

Psygnosis84 said:
We got busted by the cops because we had one car sit in the middle of the road high beaming the main characters car (when his face lights up as the other car speeds up towards him). This was around 11pm and the neighbours probably thought were doing something illegal like preparing for a drag race (we were beaming each other for 10 minutes) All of a sudden the ground illuminates and we look up and see a helicopter shining a light towards us, a minute later police arrive :\
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
That would be an experience! You should tell that story at parties and stuff But I guess if I was one of the neighbours I would be a little worried... still at least you got off safe!
The story was confusing at times but I made it so you essentially had to look back at even the subtle stuff he did, such as taking the pills then immediately after seeing the ghost car and girl to get a drift of the story.
To ease the confusion a bit for everyone, he was chasing himself. I left it open in one of the sections when Sandra reveals her name. In the story the character say's he doesn't know her however if the pills were causing only hallucinations, then how does he know he name. I left this part open for the audience to think for themselves. Did he know her name because of her death being mentioned at school but had completely forgotten about her until that night when he finally chases his own car and meets the girl or was she really a ghost who came down to tell him the truth about her actions.
The story was too complex for a short film but I think it was only after seeing so many simple linear short films that I wanted to take a different approach.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
I thought the pills may have had something to do with it! But I was still tired when I was watching it, so it didn't click then But when you say it like that, it does fall into place, so maybe it's a better plot than I thought
And different approaches are always good

Jonathon Grigg said:
That would be an experience! You should tell that story at parties and stuff But I guess if I was one of the neighbours I would be a little worried... still at least you got off safe!
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Believe it or not, that single traffic light scene was the hardest part of the whole film. We were running against the time especially having to deal with a public road and waiting for the road to clear on both sides for the other car to drive straight through... oh my goodness, what a nightmare hehe.
I thought the pills may have had something to do with it! But I was still tired when I was watching it, so it didn't click then But when you say it like that, it does fall into place, so maybe it's a better plot than I thought
And different approaches are always good
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Thanks hehe, yeah the plot appears to jump here and there but hopefully if the viewers pay attention to the small stuff that happen, then maybe the bigger picture makes more sense.

Pome: The Off-Topic Doggerel (Amateur Poetry) Thread

This is a place
To bring your face
And make up some rhyme
This is a place
Where, at a lyrical pace
We can all have a fun time!
I just felt like making a thread where we could all talk in rhyme.
And if any serious poetry does come out of it, all the better! :laugh:
Oh, and I do know that this is probably a BAD idea. -_-​

Roses are pome
Violets are pome
I wrote a pome
pome pome pome pome

A pirate, history relates
Was scuffling with some of his mates
When he slipped on a cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates

There is a kind dolphin in me
With tight blue skin that you can't see
It moves smoothly like sparkling waves
And sound like a loud horn that can help save

Roses are bad
Violets are bad
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She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow'd to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.
And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!
- Lord Byron (LordManhatten's Grandfather!)

DirkGently said:
She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow'd to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.
And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!
- Lord Byron (LordManhatten's Grandfather!)
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

Danial723 said:
Roses are bad
Violets are bad
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Somuchwin.jpg

Danial723 said:
Roses are bad
Violets are bad
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Your lulz were had,
But that made me sad.
Imma get mad
And beat ya up so bad!!!
Sent from my HTC Sensation on CM10.1

There was an old man from Japan,
Whose poems, just wouldn't scan,
When asked the reason why,
He'd always give the reply,
"I try to fit as many words into the last line as I possibly can."

Awesome idea :thumbup:
The only problem is : I can only write poetry in Arabic
Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710e using Tapatalk 2

If you can keep your head when all about youAre losing theirs and blaming it on you;*If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,*But make allowance for their doubting too:*If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,*Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,*Or being hated don't give way to hating,*And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;*If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;*If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,*If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster*And treat those two impostors just the same:.*If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken*Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,*Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,*And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;*If you can make one heap of all your winnings*And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,*And lose, and start again at your beginnings,*And never breathe a word about your loss:*If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew*To serve your turn long after they are gone,*And so hold on when there is nothing in you*Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"*If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,*Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,*If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,*If all men count with you, but none too much:If you can fill the unforgiving minute*With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,*Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,*And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!
Rudyard Kipling
---------- Post added at 07:12 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:57 PM ----------
Lazy cut and paste i know, it's a better poem than "Mary had a little bike, she rode it back to front" which was going to be my first choice
“I've had great success being a total idiot. ”*―*Jerry Lewis

jugg1es said:
...Lazy cut and paste i know, it's a better poem than "Mary had a little bike, she rode it back to front" which was going to be my first choice
Click to expand...
Click to collapse

I'm no good at making rhymes,
My poems are less than sublime,
Yet still I post in this thread,
And revive it back from the dead.
It's nice to important, but it's more important to be nice.
"When I was a young man, I had liberty, but I did not see it. I had time, but I did not know it. And I had love, but I did not feel it. Many decades would pass before I understood the meaning of all three. And now, in the twilight of my life, this understanding has passed into contentment. Love, liberty, and time: once so disposable, are the fuels that drive me forward"

Twinkle Twinkle little star,
I've just found out what you are.
A lump of rusting rocket case,
A rubbish tip in outer space.
Spike Milligan
"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana." - Groucho Marx

In the words of Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz:
"Oh freddled gruntbuggly thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.
Groop I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes.
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!"
I could not have done any better myself!

stephj said:
In the words of Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz:
"Oh freddled gruntbuggly thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.
Groop I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes.
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!"
I could not have done any better myself!
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Ah... Jeltz... he was a Vogon before his time... *le sigh*

Ode to a Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Arm Pit One Mid-Summer Morning:
The sun creeps over the lands edge
Though the crack in the window it did wedge
Slowly brightening stinging my eye
as sleepily on my bed I lie
August sixth is the new day
Its in the summer half way
Stirring from my slumber I must arise
Must cloth myself and put on my guise
The sound of birds chirping through the air
Roosting and singing without a care
The sound of the lawn mower way far away
As the work men greet the brand new day
The smell of fresh cut grass intrudes
Sending me into wonderful moods
The smell of the fresh breeze moves the curtain
Its going to be a wonderful day , I'm Certain
On my bed i still here lie
I have to get up, yes I must try
Its so comfortable so soft and still
getting up is like climbing an insurmountable hill
I move my foot a little off the bed
Moving my arm slowly to the cots edge
Dropping my foot off and onto the floor
I rest before I do any more
Squiggling my butt to the edge nearer
Seeing my frame across in the mirror
To the floor I drop my other foot
The other hand on the edge I put
Raising my body to be upright
I raise my weight with all my might
in the mirror is my stout frame
Too much good food is the blame
Scraping my foot on the floor boards
Through the sea of cloths it fords
Finding at last one clean sock
My toes around its soft edge lock
Dragging it to me, I reach to the ground
Clasping on to the sock I found
Slipping it on to one of my smooth feet
I slide a little on my seat
I search again for another to put on
I find another that I soon don
Searching I find a pair of pants, mostly clean
With a newly repaired crotch seam
I find my undershirt in the cloths pile
I'm happy find my shirt and smile
Just then in my arm pit I itch
Its making my arm and body twitch
I reach for my arm pit deciding to scratch
When on to something smooth I latch
It felt soft and a little muddy
It turned out to be a green piece of putty
It was soft an somewhat sticky
It felt strange, kind of icky
When pushed on it slowly depressed
When I let go the dent sluggishly regressed
All together it was an unusual texture
I wondered what made up this green mixture
It looked so smooth and kind of glassy
yet in a way it was cloudy and waxy
Aside from the look it had a strange smell
What it smelt like was hard to tell
Kind of like sweat, kind of like perfume
it made an oder that filled the room
When pushed on it made a strange sound
As my finger rolled it around
It sounded kind of squeaky, kind of a smack
and kind of a pop when pulled and snapped back
Where did it come from this green dough
I couldn't imagine, I just didn't know
The waxiness and perfume, deodorant it could be
But that wasn't all , could some of it be me
Deodorant, dead skin, hair and some sweat
It all fused together in my arm pit I bet
Baking all night in the heat of my arm
Keeping it safe for any kind of harm
So in the morning I find the treasure
And how much joy I couldn't measure
I must set this aside and cherish it well
Despite its green color and it's terrible smell
Propping it on to an old golf tee
And into a jar so all could see
I raise it to an exalted place
So it could behold everyones face
Time now to put on my shoes
Where is the left one I always lose
There it is and in go my feet
The soft insole, what a treat
I put on my tee-shirt, then my shirt
It looked mostly clean except for some dirt
It was time for some breakfast, what shall I eat
Maybe eggs, toast, and some fried meat
I made up the bacon and the eggs I fried
Some toast, butter and jelly I tried
Cinnamon rolls I had, then some coffee cake
A whole bagel I toasted and ate
Juice and coffee I drank with pride
Till it made me full and feel good inside
Back to my putty, I liked not its place
I needed to find it a new kind of space
What a beautiful creation my arm pit made
I moved the jar and on to the table it laid
It made my soul leap that this I created
I needed a better display to have it mated
Something elaborate not just a jar
I would have to look for it near and far
Something with silver an a little gold
Something to display it so bold
At the door came a loud knock
Who could it be, I looked at the clock
Time for my maid service to arrive
She comes to clean up my cluttered dive
I shuffle to the door to let her in
I show her my putty and for it affection win
What praise would she have for my creation of green
She will be amazed as soon as its seen
I turn the door knob and open the door
It was her to clean a little bit more
I thought I'd wait till she cleaned up some
If I showed her now, distracted she'd become
She shoveled my cloths into the washer near
and washed all my dishes, she's such a dear
Sweeping and mopping around the whole place
Dusting every nook, cranny and every small space
She was nearly done when I told her the news
Of the thing I created while I did snooze
I could see a skeptical look crawl across her face
I lead her over to the sacred place
There sat my green putty, still amazing to me
On the table where all could see
She looked and squinted at its form
And asked me how it came to be born
I told her clearly how it came about
She promptly told me she'd throw it out
Her attitude gave me quite a shock
I thought about it and then I took stock
Jealous she was that she had not this putty
Jealous she was that she had not this buddy
She shook he head with a curse she left
I went over and slammed the door with all my heft
I stared at it till the middle of the day
As I walked by it I always looked its way
Remembering the joy it's birth did bring
I made me want to dance and sing
It was time for my midday meal
I started with the potatoes that I had to peel
Put them in a pot and bring to a boil
Then mash them and butter them with much toil
I wondered how the green putty tasted
But didn't try it, didn't want it to be wasted
Instead I opened up a tub of sour cream
Put it on the potatoes, what a dream
Deep fried cheese sticks for a side dish
Stuffed mushrooms filled with my wish
A slab of sausage adorned my plate
And my fine meal I sat and ate
For desert there was ice cream and some cake
and a box of brownie mix to stir and bake
While my brownies cooked in my stove
Into a piece of cheese cake my fork dove
Eating the last of the brownie pan
I opened up a cold beer can
Drank it up to my hearts content
I considered my putty with deep intent
I hear the barking of the neighbor's dog
Along comes the man who delivers through rain and fog
It's the Mailman bringing news from afar
In his white and blue car
Yes I'll show him my putty dear
He'll be excited and eager to hear
How my putty came into my arm pit today
And how it grew there while asleep I lay
I hear him approaching the black mail box
I waddled to the door and undid the locks
As he put the mail into its holder
I spoke aloud I tried to be bolder
I said come and see my putty so green
He was a skinny man limber and lean
He poked his head through the jam of the door
I said you'll want to look at this, you won't be sore
I showed him the green putty, I made in the night
I tried to control my pride, with all my might
He looked and said that he really didn't see
Why I should so happy about this putty be
He thought it a nuisance and said “send it away”
But he couldn't bend my resolve, he couldn't it sway
He didn't appreciate the creation of green
He is very shallow, so it would seem
So I sent him away telling him to forget
That on this day the green putty he met
Away from my door he quickly ran
He was a poor excuse for a postman
I must look for people who appreciate the unique
I'll look for intelligent people with which to speak
Not every one can appreciate my putty of green
Most people are prejudice it would clearly seem
Full of food I went out for a walk
meeting people so about my putty I could talk
Down to the shops looking for a display of gold
I found one suitable that the craft store sold
My green putty would look fine in this gold case
It was encircled with a fine looking silver lace
A window of fine glass like fine crystal
and mount it on a sparkling pedestal
I wonder if the world should see my putty dear
Or the tale of its creation should they hear
Would they appreciate putty's story
And hear about it in all its glory
Society is so quick now a days
And people walk around, as in a daze
Long gone is the willingness to hear
About great stories and things so dear
People are skeptical and soon to doubt
And if the story is long the begin to pout
“Hurry up” they say “get to the point”
And if your too long they get out of joint
People lack the patience needed
Unwilling with culture to have their mind seeded
They are unwilling to have goodness grow
Would they respect my miraculous dough?
So far the few I have shown my putty to
And shown my inner feelings true
They have been a jealous and uncultured lot
And haven't appreciated the wonder I have got
Will the rest of the world this way be
Or can they my putty's virtue see
Or will most scoff and mock its wonder
And call it a mistake, a serious blunder
Should the world accept my dough
Would their greed for it be my foe
Would they try to take it far from me
Would I my putty no longer see?
Or would the world reject my putty dear
And think it's creation rather queer
I think they lack the culture they need
And reject my putty and call it demon seed
I'll protect my putty from the world, evil
Protect it from any upheaval
I'll keep my dough to myself
And keep it safe on my shelf
I would like to show putty to my son
I think he would think it rather fun
But his mother, estranged to me
Won't let me my favored son see
He's like me in so many ways
And wishes to be with me, so he says
He would understand my putty dear
And gladly its life story hear
My son could appreciate the unique creation
He would approve toast with a libation
But his mother keeps him from me, unseen
At least until he is seventeen
So I'll be sure to write this story down
And when he's old enough he'll hear the sound,
Of a story about putty so dear
He won't upon hearing frown and jeer
Upon hearing the story he will wish he could
have this happen to him, I know he would.
He's the only one who can appreciate putty
He's the only one who could also be his buddy
My wife, on the other hand
My poetry, she couldn't stand
She lived with me for a few short years
And seemed to have a lot of tears
She said if she had known what our life was to be
She would have never paid the marriage license fee
But would have called off the wedding
And never would have touched my bedding
She never appreciated my poetic rhyme
And said so over and over many a time
She came from a family of and uncultured lot
And for poetry, appreciation they had not
So I'd never show her my putty true
For I know it's story, she would boo
I'll protect my putty from her wrath
Even if she thinks me daft
I began to wonder what our future together would hold
When all was accomplished and finally told
How my putty and I together would be
And our partnership together for all to see
Could we go traveling across the land
And on some high peak together stand
Visit some deep canyon or some black abyss
See the sights that we both wouldn't miss
My putty and I could cross the years
and toast the good life with many beers
We could seek to increase our poetic muse
and argue and debate and see others views
To the pub we could go so all could see
What my putty and I could turn out to be
Friends for life a companion though all
Even though some say its rather small
Small that he is, faithful would he be
I began to wonder if it were a he or a she
I've been calling it “it” for all this time
What gender would it have this, product of grime
At last I decided it was a unique creation
And not to give it a gender was a liberation
So “It” remains the gender I give
And believe to live and let live
Would this putty of green so dear
Live to see my final year
Would it go though all my life together
Or would one of us go first and our relationship sever
I would like this green to be my life long putty
But the future I see looks rather muddy
How long could a piece of putty hope to live
But every chance, every advantage I shall it give
I hurried back to my humble home
Eager to place my putty in the gold dome
My putty sagged on the golf tee stick
I rolled it and shaped it, it still looked sick
I should mount it in the display case
The one surrounded with the silver lace
But once inside it seemed to droop
like it was dissolving and turning to soup
I pressed it together but to no avail
A piece broke loose it looked like a tail
I worried if my putty would be alright
I won't lose it with out a great fight
I cooled it, froze it, but it looked worse for wear
I shaped it and rounded it as much as I dare
My putty was now drying and cracking apart
What to do? I had to be smart
Now the sun was setting, and what to do
I tried to think of ideas but only had two
First was to put it into a glass of water
It would be to much, my ball I'd slaughter
I thought it over while i fixed the evening meal
Saving my putty was to me a big deal
I fried up some chicken wings with Buffalo sauce
And ate the while I tried to prevent my loss
A slice or two of pizza left from another lunch
I sat and thought on it while I did munch
When I was through with the meal of the eve
I feared I'd loose my putty and I would grieve
As twilight came and the sun was set
An idea came and with my mind it met
to take the remains and put it in my other arm pit
and over night just let it simmer and sit
Now in the evening, time for my bath
I like to soak , make gurgling rhymes and laugh
But tonight I think I shall not scrub
For will conditions be right, if I enter the tub
For if I clean under my arm pit
will the putty bake and contently sit
if it be clean will it rejuvenate putty dear
or will it need sweat, dead skin and hair
Then again if I keep my pit out of the wet
Then conditions would be right to dampen with sweat
But what if I slip and accidentally clean
It might make my putty no longer seen
Should I chance to bath tonight again
Or should I put off cleanliness till who knows when
I shall put it off again once more
For I haven't bathed in days, it will be twenty four
So I guess I go to bed real soon
And rest myself in the rising of the moon
And hope my decision not to clean myself
Will not adversely affect my health
Time again for my nightly stop
To the restroom up the stairs, at the top
In the room sits a porcelain seat
I must go up and soon it meet
I'll have to soon take a crap
It takes so long I'll take a nap
Then I'll squeeze with all my soul
Look there, it's a telephone pole
Now off to bed I soon must go
And into my arm pit place the dough
I hope it will be alright in there
With deodorant, sweat, skin and hair
So I scraped the goo from the display
And into my other arm pit I let it lay
Off with my shirt and my tee shirt
Pressing my arm down till it hurt
Off with my socks and my pants taken off
I climbed into my sleeping loft
With the remains of my putty green
I hope it will revive, thats my dream
Off I sleep with a midnight snack
I hope excessive sweat I don't lack
I want my putty to come back again
Its cracks and dryness to heal and mend
I laid my head but had unsettled dreams
I guess it was a nightmare, so it seams
It was about my putty dear
And that I had had it about a year
In its dome it began to reproduce
and soon it got completely loose
It began to multiply very fast
I left my house in terror, at last
Putty was getting to big I fear
It was making growling noises I could hear
I was scared it would feed on me
And that I would no longer be
There was so much all over my house
There was no more room, not even for a mouse
It got into the sewer and down the tile
It plugged every drain all the while
Not a drain worked all over the town
Got into the water pipes all around
All the water stopped , everything went dry
I went about thirsty, heaving a big sigh
The town elders traces this blight back to me
And called a session of court, Me they wanted to see
Blaming me and my putty so dear
For all the confusion, and everyones fear
“lock him away for harboring such a menace”
“Give him some bread, water, and some lettuce”
“Starve him, chain him, let him lose weight”
“Sentence him to a Terrible fate”
They cast me into a dungeon full of goo
I seemed a familiar spirit, but who
It was green and sticky, like my green putty
Yes this was the reproduction of my green buddy
At first I feared it would eat me soon
As a beam of light lit the room
It twitched and wiggled in the cell so deep
It scared me so, I couldn't sleep
Then it covered me drew so near
It embraced me and thought me dear
It may have been a terror to all other
But thought of me as its mother
It slithered into the dungeon's door
Slipped into the keyhole pore
It jiggled and wiggled the door lock
I was worried and watched the clock
Then the door swung open to let me free
It oozed into the hall way as far as I could see
It smothered the guards and it lead me out
It went down their throats to prevent any shout
We fled into the heart of the town
We moved about not making a sound
I found myself something to eat
While every foe my putty was able to defeat
We would have to leave this urban scrawl
And go where we're not known at all
They wouldn't let us leave in peace
They would try to kill us or hurt us at least
They burnt putty out of every drain
And every pipe they did the same
Drying up every piece of goo
They'd keep working till they were through
The last of putty and I held up in a narrow place
His destruction I'd soon have to face
They would come soon with a wall of flame
His fate and mine would be the same
I hear them coming to destroy the rest
of putty's off spring in our secret nest
Out shot a flame of fire so red
putty screamed and I jumped out of bed
It was a nightmare in the heat of the night
And putty is still in my underarm suffering its plight
I drank a glass of water filled to the rim
And back to my bed and let my eyes dim
I tossed and turned the rest of the night
And for some sound sleep, I tried to fight
Was this dream foreboding for putty
Would I loose my green little buddy
In the morning it showed up true
That my putty was no longer new
It had died during the night
But I hadn't given up with out a fight
As you hear the sadness of this poem
and as you travel back to your home
don't gnaw your leg off with emotional pain
for compassion to all is the poets aim

Can we all die now, Grunthos Gently? :/

Sleepy! said:
Can we all die now, Grunthos Gently? :/
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I'm surprised you haven't already! :laugh:

Opinions on Top Gun: Maverick **SPOILER WARNING**

If you've seen the movie, go ahead and share your thoughts here. I'll go first. Obviously, I understand this is just a movie, it's made for the entertainment value, but I can't help picking it apart.
Overall, I think the movie did what it was supposed to do - a "feel good" flick about America. The nostalgia was nice. But, my experience as a Marine veteran as well as knowledge of military aviation raised a lot of issues for me.
First...The SR-72/Aurora/Darkwing project. It's plausible that someone like Maverick could indeed become a test pilot, but most such projects are run under the Air Force, at the end of a pilot's career. It would have made more sense to put this at the end of the movie, although he would have a literal snowflake's chance in hell of surviving a Mach 10+ disintegration. The human body cannot withstand supersonic ejection; the force of the air stream can literally rip your body apart. Maverick would have been pink mist. Also...You crash a multi-billion (if not trillion) dollar prototype, chances are you'll never fly again.
This brings me to the bar scene, where apparently no one knows who he is, and he eventually gets thrown out by Hangman and the other pilots. The problem with this is, someone like Maverick would have quite the reputation; everyone there would have been buying him drinks, not throwing him out on his ass. Not to mention anyone in the military knows you don't put your hands on an O-6.
I do like the line where he tells Penny "Being a fighter pilot is what I am". This is true for pretty much every career pilot I've known - their whole life revolves around it, and when it's over, they have a lot of trouble finding a sense of purpose. It's tough to know you're staring at the end of something you've done (and loved) your entire adult life, wondering what the hell do you do now?
The element of TOPGUN itself, the Navy's Strike Fighter Tactics Instructor program, was rather lacking. The pilots were all graduates of TOPGUN, sure...but the idea that only they could perform the mission doesn't make sense. In reality, the military would simply use whatever assets that were the closest and most capable. But, assuming all this...Why are all these pilots struggling against G's like 2nd week flight school boots in the G trainer? They're fighter pilots, not truck drivers. They should be well used to handling high Gs with composure. Then Phoenix crashes her jet...Bird strikes are a thing, engine flameouts are a thing, but she apparently forgot all the boldface procedures. Chances are she'd still have at least limited power even with a fragged motor, and there's no reason she'd lose control of the jet. Still, she crashed it, and they still somehow sent her on this high risk mission. In reality, that wouldn't happen...She wouldn't necessarily be grounded, but she'd be off the team after that. And why are they flying out of NAS North Island? TOPGUN has been at NAS Fallon since 1996, and it's just a waste of gas to fly back and forth that far. That being said, they could have been training at MCAGCC Twentynine Palms, also out in the middle of the Mojave desert. Also, why are two admirals running TOPGUN? And what's the point of Hangman? His story arc is basically "mean girl" > "Not mean girl". No pilot would volunteer for mission commander; if anything they'd fight about who DOESN'T want to be mission commander.
The mission itself doesn't make a whole lot of sense. It's extremely unlikely that something high risk like this would be flown by a four ship strike package of Rhinos (Super Hornets). A real strike package would have included AWACS, air superiority fighters, SEAD taking out the SAMs, most likely some EA-18G Growlers...and if they absolutely had to be subtle, they'd use F-35Cs....assuming the mission wasn't carried out by Air Force B-2's. GPS jamming is a thing, but it's much harder to jam laser, and they'd probably drop some SEALs in to lase the target for them. The whole valley thing doesn't make a whole lot of sense, either. No way is any adversary going to leave such an obvious back door open. That entire valley would be littered with SAMs, MANPADs, and AAA....and if for whatever reason they didn't see them on radar (which they would have while they were out to sea) they would definitely have heard them. The TLAM strike does make sense, but they'd probably program them with an off-axis waypoint so they didn't come in from the same direction as the fighters. The pilots wouldn't be too happy about missiles flying a couple hundred feet over their heads; if one goes haywire, that could be it for you or your wingman. It's worth noting that TLAMs are subsonic cruise missiles, too, so they wouldn't be outrunning fighters cruising at 400+ knots.
The diving delivery doesn't make a whole lot of sense. F/A-18s are 4th generation fighters; laser guided bombs don't have to be dropped in a dive, they just have to be dropped into a virtual "basket" where the seeker head can acquire the laser signal. They could do this while staying under the rim of the mountain crater.
The F-14 scene is pretty cool, although if he'd taken off using flaps...he might have saved the nose gear. But, if he saved the nose gear, he wouldn't be able to barricade, and movies have to have tension, right? That being said, the chances of surviving against not just one, but two Su-57s in a F-14 are...Not great. The Felon's capabilities are doubted, sure...the cockpit looks like it has very poor rear visibility...but, it is a 5th gen fighter with 3D thrust vectoring. It would make quick work out of the heavy, ungainly F-35, let alone a Tomcat, and modern heat seeking missiles like the AIM-9X and R-73 (R-74 in the Su-57's case) are hard to decoy with flares. There's no way flying through a canyon would confuse the Felon's systems...they'd just hang back and keep firing missiles until they brought the Tomcat down. They wouldn't bother following it through the canyon, either...they could just fly a couple thousand feet above and behind and maintain visual contact.
Finally...nobody would be crowding the flight deck celebrating. Everyone topside has a job; if your job doesn't involve you being on the flight deck, you won't be there. Their first priority would be ensuring nothing caught fire, and they did that. Second priority would be clearing the deck, because an aircraft carrier is busy 24/7 with launches, recoveries, and training.
Anyway, that's just my take. Feel free to share yours.

We Were Soldiers and Hamburger Hill are good... never liked Tom bs Cruise at all.

blackhawk said:
We Were Soldiers and Hamburger Hill are good... never liked Tom bs Cruise at all.
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Hacksaw Ridge was pretty excellent too. I'm not a huge fan of Cruise either but the intent here is to talk about what we like or didn't like about Maverick

V0latyle said:
Hacksaw Ridge was pretty excellent too. I'm not a huge fan of Cruise either but the intent here is to talk about what we like or didn't like about Maverick
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Numerous technical errors as usual... try to pretend you're stupid, don't think, pretend it's not Tom Cruise and the movie might be ok.
Probably not.
I once shot out a 30" crt with a 9mm Glaser safety slug because Tom Cruise was on it at that time. Got him center mass
Deeply satisfying and the micro shrapnel from it was incredible. Replaced the crt for $169... it was so worth it.
After thinking over, watch Spy Hard instead. Far more believable, better script and acting too

Dang! Glad I saw the movie before reading all of this. I loved it! Could care less about all the technical authenticity or whatever, I go to the movies to forget about the real world, and if I wanted to see all this technical stuff, I could have saved the $60 bucks, had a few sips of Scotch and looked it all up on the interwebz, and forgotten all about it anyways!
Good thing Badgers are simple creatures!

Badger50 said:
Dang! Glad I saw the movie before reading all of this. I loved it! Could care less about all the technical authenticity or whatever, I go to the movies to forget about the real world, and if I wanted to see all this technical stuff, I could have saved the $60 bucks, had a few sips of Scotch and looked it all up on the interwebz, and forgotten all about it anyways!
Good thing Badgers are simple creatures!
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Any critter that decorates its den entrance with bones from its plunders isn't a simple creature

blackhawk said:
simple creature
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I think you meant, Simply effective!

Badger50 said:
I think you meant, Simply effective!
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Simply hungry too
Meh... saw it.
Great cinematography... at times,
sound track- meh,
script- another death star miracle... it was pretentious and rehashed.
wokeness- a token women top gun, lame.
It had a click to it but it felt like a 80yo cougar making a pass at you.
It's ok... hella better then any of the new woke Disney crap

Guess I'll watch it again. Older Tom Cruise isn't nearly as anoying as young TC.
What do two F18 pilots, Wombat and Mover think?
They bring up some interesting aspects of the movie.
I want to believe... *explodes into pink mist*

The sequel to a classic created another classic...Tom Cruise back as Maverick is fantastic...a film to watch and re-watch..

V0latyle said:
If you've seen the movie, go ahead and share your thoughts here. I'll go first. Obviously, I understand this is just a movie, it's made for the entertainment value, but I can't help picking it apart.
Overall, I think the movie did what it was supposed to do - a "feel good" flick about America. The nostalgia was nice. But, my experience as a Marine veteran as well as knowledge of military aviation raised a lot of issues for me.
First...The SR-72/Aurora/Darkwing project. It's plausible that someone like Maverick could indeed become a test pilot, but most such projects are run under the Air Force, at the end of a pilot's career. It would have made more sense to put this at the end of the movie, although he would have a literal snowflake's chance in hell of surviving a Mach 10+ disintegration. The human body cannot withstand supersonic ejection; the force of the air stream can literally rip your body apart. Maverick would have been pink mist. Also...You crash a multi-billion (if not trillion) dollar prototype, chances are you'll never fly again.
This brings me to the bar scene, where apparently no one knows who he is, and he eventually gets thrown out by Hangman and the other pilots. The problem with this is, someone like Maverick would have quite the reputation; everyone there would have been buying him drinks, not throwing him out on his ass.
I do like the line where he tells Penny "Being a fighter pilot is what I am". This is true for pretty much every career pilot I've known - their whole life revolves around it, and when it's over, they have a lot of trouble finding a sense of purpose. It's tough to know you're staring at the end of something you've done (and loved) your entire adult life, wondering what the hell do you do now?
The element of TOPGUN itself, the Navy's Strike Fighter Tactics Instructor program, was rather lacking. The pilots were all graduates of TOPGUN, sure...but the idea that only they could perform the mission doesn't make sense. In reality, the military would simply use whatever assets that were the closest and most capable. But, assuming all this...Why are all these pilots struggling against G's like 2nd week flight school boots in the G trainer? They're fighter pilots, not truck drivers. They should be well used to handling high Gs with composure. Then Phoenix crashes her jet...Bird strikes are a thing, engine flameouts are a thing, but she apparently forgot all the boldface procedures. Chances are she'd still have at least limited power even with a fragged motor, and there's no reason she'd lose control of the jet. Still, she crashed it, and they still somehow sent her on this high risk mission. In reality, that wouldn't happen...She wouldn't necessarily be grounded, but she'd be off the team after that. And why are they flying out of NAS North Island? TOPGUN has been at NAS Fallon since 1996, and it's just a waste of gas to fly back and forth that far. That being said, they could have been training at MCAGCC Twentynine Palms, also out in the middle of the Mojave desert. Also, why are two admirals running TOPGUN? And what's the point of Hangman? His story arc is basically "mean girl" > "Not mean girl". No pilot would volunteer for mission commander; if anything they'd fight about who DOESN'T want to be mission commander.
The mission itself doesn't make a whole lot of sense. It's extremely unlikely that something high risk like this would be flown by a four ship strike package of Rhinos (Super Hornets). A real strike package would have included AWACS, air superiority fighters, SEAD taking out the SAMs, most likely some EA-18G Growlers...and if they absolutely had to be subtle, they'd use F-35Cs....assuming the mission wasn't carried out by Air Force B-2's. GPS jamming is a thing, but it's much harder to jam laser, and they'd probably drop some SEALs in to lase the target for them. The whole valley thing doesn't make a whole lot of sense, either. No way is any adversary going to leave such an obvious back door open. That entire valley would be littered with SAMs, MANPADs, and AAA....and if for whatever reason they didn't see them on radar (which they would have while they were out to sea) they would definitely have heard them. The TLAM strike does make sense, but they'd probably program them with an off-axis waypoint so they didn't come in from the same direction as the fighters. The pilots wouldn't be too happy about missiles flying a couple hundred feet over their heads; if one goes haywire, that could be it for you or your wingman. It's worth noting that TLAMs are subsonic cruise missiles, too, so they wouldn't be outrunning fighters cruising at 400+ knots.
The diving delivery doesn't make a whole lot of sense. F/A-18s are 4th generation fighters; laser guided bombs don't have to be dropped in a dive, they just have to be dropped into a virtual "basket" where the seeker head can acquire the laser signal. They could do this while staying under the rim of the mountain crater.
The F-14 scene is pretty cool, although if he'd taken off using flaps...he might have saved the nose gear. But, if he saved the nose gear, he wouldn't be able to barricade, and movies have to have tension, right? That being said, the chances of surviving against not just one, but two Su-57s in a F-14 are...Not great. The Felon's capabilities are doubted, sure...the cockpit looks like it has very poor rear visibility...but, it is a 5th gen fighter with 3D thrust vectoring. It would make quick work out of the heavy, ungainly F-35, let alone a Tomcat, and modern heat seeking missiles like the AIM-9X and R-73 (R-74 in the Su-57's case) are hard to decoy with flares. There's no way flying through a canyon would confuse the Felon's systems...they'd just hang back and keep firing missiles until they brought the Tomcat down. They wouldn't bother following it through the canyon, either...they could just fly a couple thousand feet above and behind and maintain visual contact.
Finally...nobody would be crowding the flight deck celebrating. Everyone topside has a job; if your job doesn't involve you being on the flight deck, you won't be there. Their first priority would be ensuring nothing caught fire, and they did that. Second priority would be clearing the deck, because an aircraft carrier is busy 24/7 with launches, recoveries, and training.
Anyway, that's just my take. Feel free to share yours.
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The best Way to explain what I think is summed up in the video of this guy..
*not my video* hope it’s ok to post
I think maverick died in the beginning and lived his dream afterlife. However, we will never know.
I’ve read many posts about it, so I don’t think I’m the only one (besides the guy making the video).
It makes sense. But if he died that also means.. no part 3. 🫤

Cv7676 said:
The best Way to explain what I think is summed up in the video of this guy..
*not my video* hope it’s ok to post
I think maverick died in the beginning and lived his dream afterlife. However, we will never know.
I’ve read many posts about it, so I don’t think I’m the only one (besides the guy making the video).
It makes sense. But if he died that also means.. no part 3. 🫤
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Click to collapse
That's one way to put it.
On another topic, I saw several comments on YouTube insisting that they used minimal CGI in the movie because Tom Cruise apparently doesn't like doing CGI. So, explain these:
- The SR-72 Darkstar is still in development; if there are any flying prototypes, they are undoubtedly UAVs, much less capable of Mach 10.
- The US military has very specific rules on "safety bubbles" in training - a buffer zone around your aircraft that MUST be clear of other aircraft, the only exceptions being formation flight. Even professional stunt pilots like the Blue Angels and Thunderbirds maintain "bubbles" of at least several hundred feet and use perspective angles to create the illusion of much closer proximity for maneuvers such as the head on break. Why would the military break hard and fast rules written in blood for a film?
- There are only 5 total flying Su-57/PAK-FA fighters, all in the Russian Air Force. How exactly did the Navy gain cooperation from a historically belligerent foreign military to use their 5th generation fighters for a film?
- The only flying F-14 Tomcats are all owned by Iran, again historically belligerent towards the United States, so same problem as above. While a real F-14 was used in the movie, it's a non-flying airframe with no engines or avionics that was shipped in pieces to the film set.
- The missiles...think those were real?
- The one thing that MIGHT be real would be the Mi-24 helicopter, just because there are so many all around the world.

V0latyle said:
That's one way to put it.
On another topic, I saw several comments on YouTube insisting that they used minimal CGI in the movie because Tom Cruise apparently doesn't like doing CGI. So, explain these:
- The SR-72 Darkstar is still in development; if there are any flying prototypes, they are undoubtedly UAVs, much less capable of Mach 10.
- The US military has very specific rules on "safety bubbles" in training - a buffer zone around your aircraft that MUST be clear of other aircraft, the only exceptions being formation flight. Even professional stunt pilots like the Blue Angels and Thunderbirds maintain "bubbles" of at least several hundred feet and use perspective angles to create the illusion of much closer proximity for maneuvers such as the head on break. Why would the military break hard and fast rules written in blood for a film?
- There are only 5 total flying Su-57/PAK-FA fighters, all in the Russian Air Force. How exactly did the Navy gain cooperation from a historically belligerent foreign military to use their 5th generation fighters for a film?
- The only flying F-14 Tomcats are all owned by Iran, again historically belligerent towards the United States, so same problem as above. While a real F-14 was used in the movie, it's a non-flying airframe with no engines or avionics that was shipped in pieces to the film set.
- The missiles...think those were real?
- The one thing that MIGHT be real would be the Mi-24 helicopter, just because there are so many all around the world.
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Click to collapse
If you watch Hamburger Hill or We Were Soldiers you don't have turn off your your intellect while watching, but it may get bruised. Hamburger Hill is one of the most realistic war movies ever made. My Nam buddy Al said "It was like that!". It seems plotless and random, horrible $hit happens just like war. Hard to say who "won".
I've watched Hamburger Hill over a dozen times.
Das Boot (director's cut) is another excellent war movie. Uboat ace Captain Eric Topp was a consultant for that film.

blackhawk said:
If you watch Hamburger Hill or We Were Soldiers you don't have turn off your your intellect while watching, but it may get bruised. Hamburger Hill is one of the most realistic war movies ever made. My Nam buddy Al said "It was like that!". It seems plotless and random, horrible $hit happens just like war. Hard to say who "won".
I've watched Hamburger Hill over a dozen times.
Das Boot (director's cut) is another excellent war movie. Uboat ace Captain Eric Topp was a consultant for that film.
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Yeah. And the whole point of Top Gun is a feel good all American movie. If we want to talk about ridiculously unrealistic, how about Mission: Impossible...

V0latyle said:
Yeah. And the whole point of Top Gun is a feel good all American movie. If we want to talk about ridiculously unrealistic, how about Mission: Impossible...
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Yeah I blew MI off after a few minutes
The Bruce Lee movies still impress, he was pulling punches and nunchuk hits so fast it was a blur even at 40fps? Wow. Like Jimi on the guitar, where they mere mortals?
Two oldies but goodies are the original Freaks (all the freaks are real) and Spider Baby with a young Sid Haig, a stellar performance from Lon Chaney jr plus more top shelf character actors.

blackhawk said:
Yeah I blew MI off after a few minutes
The Bruce Lee movies still impress, he was pulling punches and nunchuk hits so fast it was a blur even at 40fps? Wow. Like Jimi on the guitar, where they mere mortals?
Two oldies but goodies are the original Freaks (all the freaks are real) and Spider Baby with a young Sid Haig, a stellar performance from Lon Chaney jr plus more top shelf character actors.
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Typical movie framerate is 24fps. I've honestly never watched the Bruce Lee movies so I don't know.

V0latyle said:
Typical movie framerate is 24fps. I've honestly never watched the Bruce Lee movies so I don't know.
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Maybe 36fps, they deliberately used a higher frame rate to shoot the action scenes. Don't ask me how they integrated that?

blackhawk said:
Maybe 36fps, they deliberately used a higher frame rate to shoot the action scenes. Don't ask me how they integrated that?
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Now there's a technical brain teaser. Before digital film, both cameras and film projectors were mechanical, so the movie had to be played at the same rate at which it was filmed. Variable speeds would be a problem since the soundtrack was synchronized to the film as well. It's not so difficult with digital technology, but most video encoders use a static frame rate - the BIT rate can be variable, wherein the "depth" of the information recorded can vary, but the frame rate generally doesn't.
Now if they shot the entire movie in 36fps, that would make sense.

V0latyle said:
Now there's a technical brain teaser. Before digital film, both cameras and film projectors were mechanical, so the movie had to be played at the same rate at which it was filmed. Variable speeds would be a problem since the soundtrack was synchronized to the film as well. It's not so difficult with digital technology, but most video encoders use a static frame rate - the BIT rate can be variable, wherein the "depth" of the information recorded can vary, but the frame rate generally doesn't.
Now if they shot the entire movie in 36fps, that would make sense.
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36fps it appears to be. Lee was incredibly fast and formidable.

blackhawk said:
36fps it appears to be. Lee was incredibly fast and formidable.
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Oh okay, so they shot at 34fps, which resulted in a bit of a "slow motion" effect when played at the standard 24fps.