Chat up/break up lines - Off-topic

Inspired by this thread, I searched and was surprised to see this didn't already exist.
Simply post your favorite chat up/break up lines here.
I'll get the ball rolling with - You're like a dictionary cause you add meaning to my life.
And the break up line - My goldfish died and I can't cope. Sorry.
Sent from Stephen Hawking's rooted wheelchair

Chat up: Nice legs, What time do they open.
Break up: Sorry, Its not me, its you.

Good day to you madam, lovely weather we are having.
Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

Get your coat. You've pulled
Sent from Stephen Hawking's rooted wheelchair

Break up text: ily.
Girl: obviously...
Me: no I'm leaving you.
Sent from Mount Olympus via Hermes.

Chat up: DAT ass.
Break up:
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Sent from your mom.

Break-up line - "I'm not sure our relationship can survive me going to prison"
Chat-up line - "Hi there, I'm a bad boy - wanna see my rap sheet?"

Chatup line - You don't sweat much for a fat chick.
Sent from my Sony Xperia S using XDA Premium
"Knowledge is power" = Check out this [GUIDE] How to be a New User (and not a noob)

Okay, I used all these and I got slapped around 10 times. What is this ****?
:trollface:

VaderSKN said:
Okay, I used all these and I got slapped around 10 times. What is this ****?
:trollface:
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
I never said they were good
Boyid you fall from heaven?
Girl:Aww, that's so sweet <3
Boy:Cause you sure as hell messed up your face a bit.
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"Knowledge is power" = Check out this [GUIDE] How to be a New User (and not a noob)

I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickel
What's a pretty girl like you doing with a face like that?

m1l4droid said:
My typical chat up line:
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Look into my eyes...

Pick-up line: You're the hottest goat I've seen in days
Break-up line: I was trolling you, babe. I was only with you so I could hack Cupertino home base from your IP. See you in 15-20.

Pick up line: ERMAHGERDDDD
Breakup Line: No...I think you were retard when we met.....
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debrancherenzym said:
Pick up line: ERMAHGERDDDD
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Click to collapse
You just reminded me of this -
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"Knowledge is power" = Read, Read, Read!

KidCarter93 said:
You just reminded me of this -
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"Knowledge is power" = Read, Read, Read!
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Click to collapse
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You're fired. Pack your stuff and get the **** out of here.
Auf wiedersehen

Chat up: I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you.
Break up: Get out. Just go. We are through. Through. Because of your actions, you scorpion woman.

StormMcCloud said:
Get out. Just go. We are through. Through. Because of your actions, you scorpion woman.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Did you just quote The Bold and the Beautiful?
I don't want to know..
Sent from my GT-N7000 using xda premium

LordManhattan said:
Did you just quote The Bold and the Beautiful?
I don't want to know..
Sent from my GT-N7000 using xda premium
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
facepalm.jpg
Both lines are from the same movie.

Related

What's 86 plus 264?

I'm not really good at math... can someone help me?
42 .
LordManhattan said:
42 .
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Click to collapse
It is the answer to all things.
Sent from my HTC Desire Z using XDA
LordManhattan said:
42 .
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Nice inference, but I appear to be alluding to something much more....
You've successfully wasted about and hour of your time for a simple math problem. Congratulations! Its called Google. Or even you're phone lol. Also, its 350.
Sent from my Sense 3.6 Glacier using XDA Premium.
invasion2 said:
You've successfully wasted about and hour of your time for a simple math problem. Congratulations! Its called Google. Or even you're phone lol. Also, its 350.
Sent from my Sense 3.6 Glacier using XDA Premium.
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Click to collapse
Did I ever tell you about the time I met the Lochness Monster?
graymonkey44 said:
Did I ever tell you about the time I met the Lochness Monster?
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Click to collapse
I need about three fiddy
Sent from my HTC Desire Z using XDA
I told you not to give that lochness monster no tree fiddy!
Last time I heard that I fell off my dinosaur!
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Damn tree fitty... Shoulda offered him a buck o' nine first.
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Answer = 2EA
I just asked Sergei....... Simples!
Elvis is aliveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ooh, it must have been about seven, eight years ago. Me and the little lady was out on this boat, you see, all alone at night, when all of the sudden this huge creature, this giant crustacean from the Paleolithic Era, comes out of the water. We was so scared, Lord have mercy, I jumped up in the boat, and I said, "Thomas, Thomas, what on earth is that creature?" It stood above us looking down with these big red eyes...Oh, it was so scary!...and I yelled, I said, "What do you want from us, monster?" And the monster bent down, and said, "I need about tree-fitty."

			
				
I dunno. I've never heard of this mystical thing known as plus. Who can explain it?
Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using XDA
Took me a few days but I finally figured it out! Its 86264!
Yuhfhrh said:
Took me a few days but I finally figured it out! Its 86264!
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Click to collapse
Meh. Literal addition. Funny.
Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using XDA
jaseglenn4 said:
Meh. Literal addition. Funny.
Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using XDA
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Click to collapse
Is there anything else besides literal addition? Never heard of illiteral addition... or of the word illiteral actually... And yeah I'm literally typing this because frankly I have nothing better to do! Literally!
Sent from my LG-P999 using xda premium

Reaction Time

For a science fair project I'm testing how fast people react based on their age. I need more subjects. I found an app by chingy1788 called Reaction Time that works well. it is free. So if you would post a screenshot along with your age (a range is fine like 45-50, 50-55) Yea, so thanks
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Don't do it, it's a trap
Ill do ot later when i get out of class
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OK ill bite
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30
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Here ya go
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That app is crap. It doesn't register multiple taps, so you can tap like crazy and get results like Sarni without any problems.
But okay, i'm the fastest man in the universe. 1 ms. I'm 25. Contact Guinness!
LordManhattan said:
That app is crap. It doesn't register multiple taps, so you can tap like crazy and get results like Sarni without any problems.
But okay, i'm the fastest man in the universe. 1 ms. I'm 25. Contact Guinness!
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
........... hes right the app also gives false readings too
there's always the old fashion way of Scaring Jebus out of someone and timing there facial muscles
htc fan89 said:
there's always the old fashion way of Scaring Jebus out of someone and timing there facial muscles
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
True u could try that lol
htc fan89 said:
there's always the old fashion way of Scaring Jebus out of someone and timing there facial muscles
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Hah, and make good use of any front facing camera..
103 years old! I destroyed all of you lazy kids! HA!
103? I bet you're like this then.
LordManhattan said:
103? I bet you're like this then.
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Click to collapse
Actually I'm like this!
Sent from my LG-P999 using xda premium
Cool! You're Orlando Cole!
LordManhattan said:
Cool! You're Orlando Cole!
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Click to collapse
Give or take a few letters!
Sent from my LG-P999 using xda premium
you really want to see insane reaction times..
Pull stat data from Star craft 2 "diamond" macro players.
LordManhattan said:
That app is crap. It doesn't register multiple taps, so you can tap like crazy and get results like Sarni without any problems.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Its not that bad.it works ok for my purposes... And you know of a better app?
Sent from my SGH-T989 using XDA
Hah, i haven't exactly looked for another app that does the same thing, so no
20.
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what are you doing when you are bored?

what are you doing when you are bored?
****except from watching porn, have sex,taking drugs and commit crimes!!!!!!****
Well you basically listed all the activities what I do when I'm bored so...
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Gotcha you forgot one: kissing my gf
Sent from my heart using Xperia X8
X8invisible13 said:
Gotcha you forgot one: kissing my gf
Sent from my heart using Xperia X8
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Click to collapse
Yup, Im also doing that
ArmorD said:
Well you basically listed all the activities what I do when I'm bored so...
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i was expecting that
X8invisible13 said:
Gotcha you forgot one: kissing my gf
Sent from my heart using Xperia X8
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Click to collapse
thats all right but the afterwards.......
X8invisible13 said:
Gotcha you forgot one: kissing my gf
Sent from my heart using Xperia X8
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Click to collapse
That's the least manly thing i've ever read on XDA
LordManhattan said:
That's the least manly thing i've ever read on XDA
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Then kissing my bf?
When im not pumping iron in the gym and pimping the hoe's I also like to pick flowers and make daisy chains and listen to take that.
Im the manliest man there's ever been.
I usually cut the grass, watch Netflix or play my bass.
Sent from my MB870 using Tapatalk 2
When I'm bored I like to come on here and close threads.
Like this.
Thread closed.
Not really
Archer said:
When I'm bored I like to come on here and close threads.
Like this.
Thread closed.
Not really
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
I read the first part of your post(at the participated,I didn't notice there weren't the lock icon...) and I was like what the f**** happend in there, I am sure there is nothing wrong with my thread!!!
You got me
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I like to smell flowers.
Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk 2
getting drunk. You?
Sent from my HTC One X using xda premium
veeman said:
I like to smell flowers.
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I bet you'd go out tonight but you haven't got a stitch to wear.....
Right?
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Watch Dawsons Creek
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LordManhattan said:
That's the least manly thing i've ever read on XDA
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Really? It just got its ass whooped in the girly comments contest...
isaiahe97 said:
Watch Dawsons Creek
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I997 using XDA
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Sent From My Fingers To Your Face.....
Archer said:
When I'm bored I like to come on here and close threads.
Like this.
Thread closed.
Not really
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
I knew you would come on in here and say that.
i post here when im bored
I think of Vanessaem
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vanessaem said:
I knew you would come on in here and say that.
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Click to collapse
I'm getting predictable, eh? I'll have to mix things up a little!

[GAME] First song you get by shuffling is how you die.

This thingy is popular on Reddit, so I decided to bring it here!
Here are the rules:
1.Go to your songs app.
2.Pick a song.
3.Press the shuffle button.
4.Go to the next song by clicking next.
5.Post the result here
Mine was Viva la vida by Coldplay.
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bad meets evil - eminem
Niceee
I want to live forever by Queen.
So I'm all set!
Easier than it sounds, harder than it looks.
Apparently I'm going to bleed out.
Slipknot - Wait and Bleed
Justin Bieber - Baby
I guess I'll die by listening to that song then.
"If God is my witness, he must be a stalker"
KidCarter93 said:
Justin Bieber - Baby
I guess I'll die by listening to that song then.
"If God is my witness, he must be a stalker"
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
You should die for simply having that song on your phone.
StormMcCloud said:
You should die for simply having that song on your phone.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Of course I haven't got it on my phone. I'm not that much of a ****
"If God is my witness, he must be a stalker"
KidCarter93 said:
Of course I haven't got it on my phone. I'm not that much of a ****
"If God is my witness, he must be a stalker"
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Baracuda - I Will Love Again.
''Grand theft auto theme song''
I dunno how i have tht on my phone O.Õ
Sent from my HTC Hero using xda premium
Radical Face - Wrapped In Piano Strings
Hahaha
Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk 2
Just realized that this is no different from the 'what are you listening to' thread. As you even said in the OP, click next and post the results. That has nothing to do with dying.
Eye of the Tiger - Survivor
Sent from my Kindle Fire using xda premium
KidCarter93 said:
Just realized that this is no different from the 'what are you listening to' thread. As you even said in the OP, click next and post the results. That has nothing to do with dying.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
This isn't the same. In the music thread you post what you're listening to, and this thread is about how you're going to die.
So this thread is automatically better. But excuse me, i have to burn my piano.
Written and sent by Google Now
Can't wish for a better death-
Comfortably numb - Pink Floyd
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loneagl said:
Can't wish for a better death-
Comfortably numb - Pink Floyd
Sent from my GT-I9003 using xda app-developers app
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
maybe 'wish you were here", but I think you nailed it.:highfive:
KidCarter93 said:
Just realized that this is no different from the 'what are you listening to' thread. As you even said in the OP, click next and post the results. That has nothing to do with dying.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Sorry if I did something wrong, but I don't think this is a repost.
Oh nose...
"Dead Skin Mask" by Slayer.
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Closer to god by NIN
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Favourite Person in the World:)

Who's yr favorite person on Earth...
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It's you again?
You are my favorite person
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Me ofcourse
Sent from...
why do you care where I sent it from??
Who ever locks this thread.
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Me
Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk 2
People who start threads like this and don't answer their own question in the OP
Dr. Deflecto says:
Let's go a different direction with this here thread.
Least Favourite Person in the World
Mine,
The ahole a few streets over with all junk stored in front of his sh*thole house.
Thats OK said:
Dr. Deflecto says:
Let's go a different direction with this here thread.
Least Favourite Person in the World
Mine,
The ahole a few streets over with all junk stored in front of his sh*thole house.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
So you live in a trailer park?
boborone said:
So you live in a trailer park?
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Lol
Nah...
Not yet anyhoo.
I have a bad habit of thinking people should have respect for their neighbors.
Lol
Sent from my HTC Sensation XE with Beats using xda-titanium app
Leeroy Jenkins.
Sent from my premium leather sofa
Myself!:cyclops:
Leslie Nielson. George Carlin.
-Older than I look, younger than I feel.-
Today:
Guy at DMV that made things easy.
Usually my wife, sometimes my son.
Aside from family or friends, George Carlin is a great choice.
People in my case:
Chris Farley
Will Ferrell
Brittany Murphy
Timothy Leary
H. S. Thompson
Johnny Depp
Einstein
Mattias Duarte
Adam West
Patrick Stewart
Neil deGrasse Tyson
jRi0T68 said:
Usually my wife...
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Not a lie, lol. She doesn't read xda and wouldn't ever know I said it. Usually, she is.
She's funny, sarcastic, highly motivated and intelligent and helps push me toward my goals. Sometimes, though...
jRi0T68 said:
Not a lie, lol. She doesn't read xda and wouldn't ever know I said it. Usually, she is.
She's funny, sarcastic, highly motivated and intelligent and helps push me toward my goals. Sometimes, though...
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Lol, I knew the truth will come out.
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Jesus' driver, Kevin Mahogny.
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