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How many of you here get soo low sometimes you feel like popping your head of? Yeah am that low now. Any bright ideas to get me bubble again, please????
Whoa dude!
remember, after every night there is a morning, Whatever cr*p you have to go through, whatever hurdles you have to jump, trust in yourself.
Best advice I've ever recieved.
If you want someone to listen to all your problems, I'm all ears. Just don't consider rash decisions.....life's waay too precious/
Thanks Buddy
Merlin_reloaded said:
remember, after every night there is a morning, Whatever cr*p you have to go through, whatever hurdles you have to jump, trust in yourself.
Best advice I've ever recieved.
If you want someone to listen to all your problems, I'm all ears. Just don't consider rash decisions.....life's waay too precious/
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What can i say???? Thank you. Simple words but believe me you made me feel alot better. I mean that. Thank you
and
u can also think about people who go through alot more a day then urself. I just joined the Army and just finished basic training 3 weeks ago, and now go to AIT to become a Information Systems Specialist. My schedule is crazy and I barely have time for myself, but I just keep my head up and look to my battle buddies for morale boosts.
Anytime
Glad to be of help/
Think...
Think about the people in life who matter. If they're the problem then think about... your phone.
My best friend completed suicide 4 years ago. It was devastating!!! The fact that you are here asking, is a good thing. I honestly would urge you to call a hotline the next time you get the blues so bad you feel this way. Suicide is a permanant solution to a temporary problem, and those left behind will never understand why...they will always be left with a hole in their hearts. Trust me on this fact. While it often seems as if it is only you, it isn't. I can guarantee that folks care about you, and that you aren't alone...so go to those folks, or as I mentioned before call a hotline. There is a line in Gone With the Wind..."after all, tomorrow is another day"...you make it dark or sunny, hopefully you will choose to make it sunny.
I hope whatever has you down passes quickly.
You know, i can identify with you man... Life gets ****ty and the past 2 months for me have been the worst, and in all honesty i cant say that i havent had the same thoughts... But i could never do it, i have 2 young daughters and 2 young step daughters that i love more than anything... And i hate to sound like i play favorites, but my 2 yr old means more to me than anything and i couldnt imagine possibly leaving her, if there is one thing that brings me back to this world and reality its her... Moral of my story, there has to be something that will center you and bring you back, think about it
Been there bro...
Been there too... 3 and 6 yr old boys and fantastic wife keep me going.
Check out St. Johns Wart. It really helps me out when Im feeling blue and has little side effects. It has been used extensively in Germany and Europe for years.
I agree with everyone else... There is always tomorrow and it will be a better day.
Cheers.
It would also be a good idea for you to start going to the gym.
Weight lifting has helped me trough some bad times in my life.
It's amaizing how much can a little phisical activity help you.
Go and try it, if nothing else you will at least blow off some steam.
moral of the story is find something to do, something to keep your mind busy, tomorrow is a different day, it cant rain all the time
Exercise...
Try a recumbent bike...
http://www.sunbicycles.com/sun/recumbents.htm
I've been with my girlfriend for about 6 years. We have had our ups and our downs but it's always remained pretty good. Recently I caught her in a pretty big lie. It wasn't cheating or anything along those lines, just something that she felt might have caused me to want to break things off with her.
Here's my question, is the saying "once a liar always a liar" true? She promised to just be completely honest with me from now on. But, I'm the type of guy who definitely has a hard time trusting someone after they have lied to me once before. Should I try to trust her?
ericc191 said:
I've been with my girlfriend for about 6 years. We have had our ups and our downs but it's always remained pretty good. Recently I caught her in a pretty big lie. It wasn't cheating or anything along those lines, just something that she felt might have caused me to want to break things off with her.
Here's my question, is the saying "once a liar always a liar" true? She promised to just be completely honest with me from now on. But, I'm the type of guy who definitely has a hard time trusting someone after they have lied to me once before. Should I try to trust her?
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Well, thing is: you should try and rebuild the trust if you have feelings for her even after that...she cares for your relationship enough to lie, then try and forgive her.
</amateur-shrink>
Merlin_reloaded said:
she cares for your relationship enough to lie, then try and forgive her.
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Well said...
one more chance max... if it's an issue, then it will show up sooner than u think...
well for me, it really depends on the nature of the issue (lie)
if it was for good intentions, i'd say try again....
tell her that if before that lie your trust used to be at 100 on a scale of 0-100.
but now its at 95 and she killed those 5 marks permanently.
No Trust
Once trust is broken it's very very hard to repair......there will be a little thing in your mind always and forever at that moment when trust was broken ....think about it.....girls are very different about lies.....I'm 36 I know what I'm talking about.....All I'm saying is that be very very careful....The fear of lies is never ending once broken....confusing whats real.....
Peace
Mike
mike19722 said:
Once trust is broken it's very very hard to repair......there will be a little thing in your mind always and forever at that moment when trust was broken ....think about it.....girls are very different about lies.....I'm 36 I know what I'm talking about.....All I'm saying is that be very very careful....The fear of lies is never ending once broken....confusing whats real.....
Peace
Mike
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Yeah, I'm worried I'll find myself questioning a lot of things she does in my mind. But, I do love her. We plan on getting married and all that. I'm gonna go with the advice of telling her that there will now always be a little part of me will question whether or not she's being honest.
True Love is unconditional (unless unfaithfulness is there) we all do stupid things and im sure you have as well. If you really love her then love her now more than you ever have. alot of times we look at the end result (lying or what ever) instead of the underlying causes. Perhaps you could love her so much that she would have no reason to ever lie again?
and thats my Dr Phil for teh day
Tregrad said:
True Love is unconditional (unless unfaithfulness is there) we all do stupid things and im sure you have as well. If you really love her then love her now more than you ever have. alot of times we look at the end result (lying or what ever) instead of the underlying causes. Perhaps you could love her so much that she would have no reason to ever lie again?
and thats my Dr Phil for teh day
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Totally agree with it !!!
Thats what all about true relationship is,trust yourself to trust her !
Have a nice day
trust rebuilding strategy
I'd suggest a professional, since their paid to be objective. If you have medical coverage, this is a good time to use it, since your health is a good part dependent on the state of your love life (seriously).
Have a plan (devising one is where the third party comes in), or maybe a set of procedures (I know it sounds odd, but it's sort of an if-then, if you do this, then I do this....). If you guys can stick to the plan, then after some time the trust will be rebuilt.
If the lie had to do with money or shared tasks (like cleaning house, car maintenance), the issue is more important than it might seem right now. From what I've seen of stats, divorced people blame these things for thier breakups. IMHO, I think it gets down to the same things that help people keep thier jobs: percieved personal investment. You need to feel more important to your girlfiend than whatever it was she lied to you about, no?
If you value the relationship that much, then you need to value how you feel about the relationship. To value something means to *do* something about it. The relationship has shifted, so behaviors need to shift, too.
The short of it: don't let this fester. Forgiveness is good. The best. Things worth havng are seldom easy to get.
My American $ 0.02... worth less and less everyday....
You really Can't Trust Anyone who lies. Since Everyone lies. You really cannot trust Anyone.
Listen home scratch...
The trust issue is more about you than it is about her. Trust me. I went through the same thing that your going through now. If you are an optimistic person you might be fine, but if you are negative in nature you might think that she will mess up like that again. Then you will drive yourself nuts trying to catch her in a lie. The first thing and most important thing you have to do is ask yourself, 'Do I think I can ever trust her completely again'. If you have doubts, that means your relationship is in serious trouble. If you are completely confident, you will be fine. Don't over analyze why she lied. You will only end up with more questions than answers. People lie for different reasons, and you wont ever really know because your not in her head. So let it go and good luck with whatever you decide.
P.s. Never come online to ask advice about a relationship. I know you meant well. However, what I've learned is people sometimes give advice from a mindset of resentment. Thus, If someone has had a bad day, they might give you terrible advice.
I am not wanting to seem uncaring towards you or dismissing the problem and saying everything will be fine, but for gods sake get over it , so she lied , have you never lied to anybody before? I am sure you have, as people have said, it is down to insecurities in yourself , i mean the fact you are asking online if you should trust her, is basically saying you can't even make the decision yourself. I have had this myself , but from the other side of things, as in it was my girlfriend of 3 1/2 years not trusting me over lots of things, questioning me about everything, even though i wasnt lying to her. You will end up pushing her away, because she will be holding lots of silly things back, simply because it will mean you will be questioning her over it if she mentions it. Which will cause more distrust and arguments.
So my advice is simply to let it go or it will eat away at your relationship forever.
Anyway off topic, can anyone help fix my wallaby with 1% GSM Error :lol: (joke)
Something like that happened to me. She lied, but, yeah, at the end of the day, I love her and she loves me. Story ends.
Give her a chance. Love her. Be a man. Stand beside her. Make her feel comfortable that she doesnt lie to you anymore
Thanks for all the replies. I've already let it go but I just wanted to see what other people would do if it happened to them. It's good to know that majority of people here would see it as "She loves me so much she lied in order to spare feelings" and love their spouse even more. I like this view and decided to go with it..
Well I normally dont bring my problems to the site but this one is big. I was on my way to my dads when I got a text from the girl I have been with that says she thinks she might be pregnant! Now the first thought I had was that she was screwing with me because she likes to do tht when im not all in my head if you know what I mean. I have already been woried because I am going in for an MRI early tomorrow because I seperated my left shoulder for the 8th time. I have already had surgery on this shoulder and they already know there is a chunk of bone the size of a quarter broke off and floating around in my shoulder. She knows all this so im thinking she is just screwing with my head trying to get my mind off my MRI but then I discovered she was serious so i proceeded to call my best friend since kindergaten and started talking about it to him she hasnt taken any tests yet but she has been reallly moody and stuff lately so idk but its only been about a week since we have done anything so I dont know just needed a place to vent and some advice. Oh and yes I did protect no matter how gone I was I know I did things safely.
yea I know but we are both in the tenth grade so its kinda hard to do that.
{SBR}_L3GION said:
yea I know but we are both in the tenth grade so its kinda hard to do that.
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You just go to the chemist and buy one, any doctor in most countries are obliged to treat you in confidence so I wouldn't worry to much about it.
well i just heard about it on the way to my dads i might be able to do something to help find out something in the afternoon
I'll try to share some of my experience
-There is a small chance that you get pregnant when using a condom.
-My ex thought she was pregnant at more than one occation without being so.
- Sometimes the menstruation can be a little off with women, making them worry if they are pregnant or not. This is often caused by using Birth control pills that can set off the menstruation cycle by more than a few weeks.
-You can't know until you take a pregnancy test, you can get from the apothek, chemists, drugstore or whatever you call it. Try and discuss with her before she takes the test what you will do if this or that happens. There is always more security for both of you when you know what the other will do.
At your age, parents can be like a nightmare, but at the end of the day, they normally only wants what is best for their offspring. So they might fly up in scared anger at first, but then they will be supportive after a few breathers...
Remember, all grownups have also been horny teenagers at one time, even though they would never admit it.
{SBR}_L3GION said:
yea I know but we are both in the tenth grade so its kinda hard to do that.
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what country do you live in? In the US you can get them at any drug store over the counter.
thanks for all the replies and we will talk about getting a test its only been about a week since we have done anything and I did protect so it should be ok.
{SBR}_L3GION said:
thanks for all the replies and we will talk about getting a test its only been about a week since we have done anything and I did protect so it should be ok.
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If it's only a week.... I don't think you can tell anything
I am starting this thread because I am sick and tired of losing developers for a phone that desperately needs them. First it was the WC and BC fiasco that damn near put us out and now some person with no sense of flashing and a lack of understanding when it comes to reading directions has driven away one of our most helpful and successful developers. (WHEN YOU ARE TOLD NOT TO FLASH UNLESS YOU FULLY AND COMPLETELY KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING THEN DONT FLIPPING FLASH IT)
To make it worth while I am starting a donation thread, to reward one of the people who have busted their ass (can I say that in the forums?) to help us and give us the phone we know the VIVID should be. I realize more then just PG has done a lot for us and I hope I am not offending anyone.
To put it simple I am starting out with a personal $100 donation. It is not much but it is what I have right now. If anyone wants to flame about what I am doing here do me a favor and don't. MODS, if this turns into a bashing war I would hope for some regulation and the ultimate closure of the thread if problems arise, I am not here to make enemies.
To quote DeamonFish on IRC: "BABY COME BACK! YOU CAN BLAME IT ALL ON ME..."
I'll give 10, I know it's measly, but its all I can give without my wife noticing ; ) saving for Ireland
At this point in time I cannot donate, but I hope to soon.
PirateGhost, please, keep doing what you do. I personally enjoy your ROMs, they're absolutely Amazing.
Thanks, and I hope you reconsider.
I will contribute $20 if he decides to come back. I was very close to flashing his Ice Cream Float before the drama happened, and I want to help showing that there are some people out there who do read, listen to directions, and THINK before going on a forum.
I was and am planning on donating to PG and some of the others as well. I know PG was responsible for a lot of the good work here. The irony is that his RUU might be the one thing that actually could have saved my phone, (At least may have been.) and now it's gone, along with another talented developer. Win, lose or draw, I will donate to this cause after I get some sleep and calm down a little bit.
What others did TO THEIR OWN PHONE and blamed PG was just plain stupid. I'll be donating.
There was a fair warning from the very beginning..
I'll donate. I just need to transfer some funds to my PayPal first.
PG and the other devs left for different reasons but I can pretty surely say that money is not the problem. They did all this developing from free will, not for donations. If PG does come back, he'll just get hit with the same bull**** he's been having to deal with these past few days. I'm just not sure raising money is the right way to go.
We (as in the Vivid forum) were not ready for an ICS release. Based on the huge number of people with bricked phones or bootloops, you can all see how many people jumped in without knowing ANYTHING and for lack of a better term, winged it...which led to their problems. These members didn't wait for an RUU, didn't read any of the stickys, didn't read any of the answers PG already posted in his 20 page threads and on top of that, a couple even went as far as to blame their own failures on, as well as make crazy accusations towards PG. For that, the rest of us suffer and that's how it is.
I love the support so far, please keep it going. Hopefully word gets out
penguinfishies said:
PG and the other devs left for different reasons but I can pretty surely say that money is not the problem. They did all this developing from free will, not for donations. If PG does come back, he'll just get hit with the same bull**** he's been having to deal with these past few days. I'm just not sure raising money is the right way to go.
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I totally agree, but I feel that pledging to donate to him is a show of good faith that there are a number of us who enjoy his roms respectfully. I think it's time for the minority of users with good experiences to overshadow the stupid noobs who have ruined it for the rest of us.
I would for sure donate to the cause...
I myself have been known to ask stupid noobish questions, so I can only imagine how many posts, repeat questions and PMs he must have gotten after releasing this. I was amazed how many people blamed him for their own mistakes, I too bricked my phone but never once blamed him as after I did so I read everything again and again and then realized what I did wrong.
I do hope he comes back after maybe taking a little time away, but there has to be a way for him to have some protection from people, their questions and comments...
P.S.- A semi unrelated but somewhat related statement (and I don't want to start a firestorm) but I do wish in some of these DEV threads the fluff and worthless posts (mine included sometimes) would be erased to keep threads small and more full of worth while information.
I think people got their phone bricked cuz this update was for ATT Stock not any other carriers. So if they tried to flash, it's their own risk. Not to blame all the good devs out there give us better phone than stock.
I would donate too.
I myself asked a question in that very thread that got closed. I wanted to know if that ROM was for my phone because I didn't find any reference to "Velocity". Although people say Vivid and Velocity are interchangeable, I thought I'd ask. And I'm glad I did, otherwise I would have a bricked phone too.
Just one or two IDIOTS spoiling the party for everyone.
PG - can you start a private share so that you can control who has access to your zips and we can still download them?
ststeve123 said:
Just one or two IDIOTS spoiling the party for everyone.
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And this is precisely why we can't have nice things.
Sent from my HTC PH39100 using XDA Premium App
I leave for a few hours to go to dinner with some friends and this is what I come back to?
What happened?
I've read 99% of all the posts in the Vivid section, including PG's. Can't belive how much patience and time he put in those replies. I, for one I wouldn't even bother to answer most of them. Unfortunately people don't always appreciate it from obvious reasons (have no idea what developing is). Hope he comes back, it's nor fair to leave us for one or two mindless posters. Is not the noobs, or only the Vivid owners, is the whole Android community that needs him.
Sent from my HTC Vivid via Tapatalk
thecubed said:
I leave for a few hours to go to dinner with some friends and this is what I come back to?
What happened?
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That is where I was at last night... Some Galaxy nexus moron didnt read instructions and bricked his wifes Vivid from what I caught on to. Then he blames it on PG. See General thread First Rom Flash Rum Float Beta for exact details.
I agree with everyone here. When I was told HTC flashing on the vivid was different from other phones and older HTC phones I listened. I waited 48 hours to flash until I made sure I knew everything. Even then I sat in the IRC and continued asking new stupid questions. I was never chewed out, never driven off. I was answered, had my own laughs for stupidity and ended up with ICS.
When someone flashes a rom its like accepting a TOS agreement that comes with software. You agree that it is your own fault if the flash fails, especially if it was successful for so many others.
I am sure PG doesnt care about the money, but its an attempt to show him that just because some people are morons doesnt mean no one supports him and appreciates what he does.
I still haven't flashed ics and won't until I have the time to do it correctly and the knowledge. I have reread how to do it many times. I want to understand how it works before I put it on my phone. It would be awesome to have the newest thing but not at the expense of my phone for not following instructions. I wish I had time to develop but I work two jobs and have a baby coming in a few months.
Sent from my HTC PH39100 using XDA
I'm not sure that he is taking donations at this point. I donated $10 earlier today and he refunded it?!?
I appreciate the gesture but I cannot bring myself back.
Jazz, I refunded your donation partly because of the way you handled yourself with WC, and partly because I want no expectations from any of this.
I refunded Uberamd because sending me a donation does not give you the right to say whatever you like. It's not a free pass to talk ****.
Sent from my HTC PH39100
Ok folks, I don't frequently ask for advice in matters of the heart or personal stuff. Typically I confine myself to the realm of IT and phones. But awhile back when I was still whacked out over my Ex, I hurt someone I cared for greatly. It's been tough making things work out but I decided to lay everything on the line and I am mailing the following letter to her in hopes of things working out. Any input especially from the fairer sex (if there be any here :laugh would be appreciated. Any thoughts folks?
Redacted
,
There’s a great deal of things I would like to say to you. Many would most likely just be a rehash of things I have said before. I don’t believe though that anything I ever say from this moment on would be sufficient to change the way things are right now. I know I have tried time and time again to express my sincere regret for my actions. I did something terrible to you. It wasn’t getting you sick, it wasn’t making you feel used, and it wasn’t being a real jerk to you. It was turning my back on you. I walked away when I should have stayed and stood by you. I truly regret my actions and if I could, I would take them back and do things differently. I would have stayed by your side. I would have shown you that I was a good man and that I truly do care for you.
I’ve said this before and I do mean it, I have always felt something for you. Ever since we were children a part of me has been in love with you. Not just because I think you are beautiful, but because of who you are. I’ve always loved the way you carried yourself, the way you moved, the way you sat, everything. It wasn’t until we were adults that I realized behind the beauty and grace was a mind that was as wonderful as the rest of you. You are an amazing woman whom anyone would be lucky to have in their life.
When I changed my status and you messaged me, we talked and ended up admitting truths. When you accepted my offer for a date, I was elated. How often does the woman of your dreams, the one you’ve had a crush on your entire life, the one you always imagined asking out, actually pay attention to you and says yes to a date with you? When we went out, I thought I was over the past and I was wrong. I didn’t mean to hurt you the way I did.
The worst thing for me is being alone. Not necessarily being alone, but being alone in my thoughts. When I’m alone, I have nothing to distract me from my thoughts. I’ve had time to evaluate my actions, my decisions, and my life. I see a great many mistakes I have made in my life. Many of them I cringe at knowing I did or said those things. I look back at turning my back on you and I want to just berate myself and kick myself over and over again for what I did. I was a fool for doing that. You deserved better than my actions and I have no excuse for what I did. Regardless of my mindset or my thoughts at the time, you deserved someone who would be there especially when he caused it. I wasn’t.
Since then, I have wanted nothing more than to make it up to you. To show you I am the man you deserve. I’ve wanted nothing more than to deserve you. I know I’ve made a royal mess of my life due to my actions and have damaged yours as well. You were doing great and while you may have wanted more in life and would have eventually attained that goal, I set you back. I don’t know how far and I hope it’s not nearly as far as I believe it to be. I believe you deserve the best in life. I believe we all do. I don’t know if I am what’s best for you, but I know that for me, settling for anyone other than you would be a grave mistake on my part. I would be a true fool to not try and show you I am a good man and I deserve a second chance.
I’ve tried calling you a fair amount lately, as well as texting you. You haven’t answered my phone calls and lately haven’t answered a single text. I can’t say I blame you for not talking to me all things considered. I’ve been terrible to you and haven’t been the person you need in your life. I want to be that man but I don’t know if you can ever let go of the past and the distrust. I don’t know if you can ever truly trust me again. That in itself is a shame as I am a good man and would be willing to do just about anything to ensure your well being and your happiness. Once committed to something, I am determined to see it through. Perhaps you think I should be committed for being this way, but it’s who I am. It takes something major to change my mind about things. I think you know that by now.
I know that between not working and with the medical issues you’ve mentioned that you might be unsure of things. I know that you’ve said you don’t believe I can make decisions that take you into consideration. I want you to know that even knowing that you have problems medically, that if things are as bad as you fear, that you may not be around for as long as you would like to be, I am still here and I won’t walk away just because things are difficult again. I did once and I learned a valuable lesson from doing so. I learned what was worth fighting for and what wasn’t. I want to be there for you. I want to show you the support you deserve and be there for you when you want and need me. I already am even though you may not want me to be.
You agreed with me once that if I had not been a fool and been the man a woman like you deserves, we both may have been happy together right now. Despite all the bad, we would have been together and together we would have worked towards something great.
There’s a saying, one that I agree with, “Nothing good in life is ever easy.” I believe that the best things in life are worth fighting for. I believe that you are worth it. That despite where I may stand in your eyes or in your heart, I believe trying is the right thing to do. I may be wrong but without your input, I don’t know to stop.
I am not asking you to jump into anything with me. I would like for you to, but I can wait a bit for that. What I am asking is that we start over and that you let me prove to you that I am worth a second chance. I want to prove to you that I am the man you deserve, one that will always be there for you. I’d like to pick up things where we left off, but I don’t believe that’s an option anymore. I’m willing to start anywhere you think we should just so that one day I can rebuild the trust I shattered and one day we can have a relationship that puts others to shame.
I want to be more to you than a bad decision easily forgotten. I believe I deserve better than that and I believe that I can be the absolute best choice you’ve ever made.
You once said that I should focus on rebuilding my life. You said that I should fix my life before trying to start a relationship with you. I am working towards that every day. I have good and bad days but overall, things are moving in the right direction. I believe though that when I am not working or able to work towards my goals, the free time I have so to speak, that those times are when I should work on rebuilding your trust and our friendship, that those times should be spent with you.
I am going to rebuild my life better than before. I want that life to include you, to be there for you and you for me. I would like for us to be together for as long as we have on this earth. I would ask for the next life too, but I don’t want to seem too eager or greedy. I know things don’t always work out as planned and that all of this may be wishful thinking, but I truly believe that we were in each other’s paths again after so long a time apart for a reason. I do not believe though that our paths should diverge just yet. I believe that there is more for us here and that we should pursue it. I hope that deep down you feel the same way. I hope that somewhere deep inside is the desire to see things work out and for us to have a chance together even after everything that I caused.
I’ve made mistakes in my life before. I’ve made a great many of them, but none as great or none I regret more than hurting you and breaking your trust. I want you to know I will spend the rest of my life and do anything I have to in order to earn back your trust and friendship, to earn back the look in your eyes when you looked into mine, the right to hold your hand in mine again, to hold you close and say the things that matter in life.
I want to try again. I want to be the man for you. Will you let me be that man?
Sincerely,
Darrell
You sound like a young man. Take some advice from a 33 yr old that has walked many paths and who has loved and lost. As cliche as it sounds, its true, if its ment to be, it will happen. Explaining to her how you hurt and and how much you love her will not make her comeback. The heart wants what it wants. I know the pain at time seems unbearable at times and the obsesive thoughts seem to never to stop, but in time, the pain starts to recede, the thoughts slowly die down. Concentrate on yourself for now, stay away from alcohol, and live one day at a time. In time, you will find that special someone, and she will be nothing but a memory.
Man I hate to tell you but I hope the kids in OT don't have a hay day with this. It's a legitimate request. If things get to outta hand, hit me up with a PM. I've been down this road and it's not an easy one. If you want advice, shoot me a message. Best of luck to ya man!!
A toast from my Gnex aboard the Satisfaction!
Actually I'm 33. Big loveable guy at heart lol.
Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using xda premium
DarrellRaines said:
Actually I'm 33. Big loveable guy at heart lol.
Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using xda premium
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O rly!? :what: Me and you have lived very diffrent lives.
Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 2
Some parts of it seemed long and repetitive.
I think you can cut it shorter but still say what you want to say.
If she hasn't replied your texts or returned your phone calls, a letter this long may be thrown out immediately.
Just my 2 cents.
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LoopDoGG79 said:
O rly!? :what: Me and you have lived very diffrent lives.
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I've been lucky. Up until recently I should say. I love freely and end up getting hurt a lot. We are the sum of our life experiences.
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I immediately skipped to this line at the bottom
I want to try again. I want to be the man for you. Will you let me be that man?
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That's all I need to read to tell you that you need to move on. Sorry, but it's true. Just the fact that you're asking her if you can "be that man" just says a lot.
I believe I deserve better than that
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Prove it. Go out there and find somebody better. After all, you do deserve it.
Ooooohhhhhh k, now that I've re-read it, I gotta take back what I said. Dude, you can't put yourself out there like that. You might as well be the weird stalker guy that watches her go to the grocery store. You gotta move on man. Swallow what little bit of pride you have and keep on going.
A wise man once told me, the only way to get over one girl is to get under another.
A toast from my Gnex aboard the Satisfaction!
'I am not asking you to jump into anything with me. I would like for you to, but I can wait a bit for that.'
you shouldn't write 'i can wait a bit'...
it sounds like 'yeah if you don't get laid by me next week, i'll search for another one'...
just write 'i can wait'
PS: good luck to you man!
Okay, I'm writing this in Notepad as I read what you wrote.
First paragraph, I'd trim this down. A lot of it is shooting yourself in the foot is going on here if your goal in this is to try to win her back.
"I turned my back on you. I walked away when I should have stayed and stood by you. I truly regret my actions. I wish I'd had the sense to stay by your side - I wish I could have been a better man."
Second paragraph, I'd cut this entirely, at least this early on.
Third paragraph : "You deserved better". You could attach this to the first at this point. A lot of this feels like a guilt trip for her when you're claiming you've hurt her. Don't tell her why YOU are needy and need her - why should she care (even if she does) ?
Fourth paragraph, same as second. This feels kind of random and unnecessary at this point.
Fifth paragraph. Okay. I don't know the situation, so that makes this really hard. But I wouldn't say in your letter that you DESERVE a second chance. Don't put this on her like she somehow needs to do you a favour. " I know I’ve made a royal mess of my life due to my actions and have damaged yours as well. You were doing great and while you may have wanted more in life and would have eventually attained that goal, I set you back. I don’t know how far, but I hope you're still able to attain all you wanted*" (*I don't know the situation, so I don't know how much she can expect ?) Tell her how you can HELP her attain whatever it is you set her back from, even if you can't directly.
Sixth paragraph. This whole letter is really vague so far - have you edited it for the internet ? If not, I'd be more specific. "I don't know if you can ever trust me again, that I understand". She knows she's been ignoring you - you don't have to tell HER that.
Seventh. "I wish I had been good enough to not have to hurt you in the process of learning what was worth living and fighting for". Somethingn like that.
Eight. You've basically said this before. Stop dwelling on it - it happened. What can you do to at least tell her in words that you're comitted to making a CHANGE ? What would you do in the FUTURE with her if you got back together at this point ? What would you do for HER ?
Nine. "Starting over" is not what you want. If you started over, well, you'd end up in the same place, right ? You need to express that you've learned and that that is always with you - that you're not going to mentally "start over".
Ten. Okay, what progress HAVE you made ? Can you tell her about THAT ? What can you do to make progress with her ? What would you like to do if you were to start "slow" ?
Eleven and Tweleve. I'm not going to comment on these, specifically.
Okay, so.
If I was reading this, I would feel you're too focused on NEEDING her and it's a lot of words, words, words - but no action. It's all talk and not much substance to actually mean something to someone who's been hurt. Address what you did. Address what you would DO. Address HOW you've changed, what you're doing. Let her know specifics about what you're doing to improve your life and yourself. Let her know HOW you can help her, what are you willing to do ? How can you support her ?
I'm not here to comment on if this is the right thing to do or if you need to move on. Maybe you do - I don't know. I don't know you or the situation. I'm just reading this, trying to think about if I'd been sent it.
I'm reading a whole lot of "I WANT you in MY life" - but no really good reasons why she should want to be in yours. Why should she ? ... SHOULD she ? If it really would be good for her, why ? Don't tell her that she needs to "fight" for this with you - if she's the one who's been hurt, why should she have to struggle any more ? Show her that you've changed and advanced enough that it wouldn't need to be something difficult.
Don't take this too personally. I don't know you, I don't know her - I don't know what happened. I can't tell you the best 'advice' possible without that.
Beware rebounds. If you haven't fixed your **** before trying to move on, you'll invariably **** up again and probably make the same sort of mistakes - or hey, maybe even all new ones. Figure your **** out - it's what this girl you're writing to wants to see - and it's what any girl who isn't going to be another couple broken hearts is going to want to see. It's old, but it's true - you can't expect to find someone to fully love and commit to you if you're not even fully what you want from yourself.
I tried. :good:
^ Great suggestions.
To OP, I read the whole thing. Twice. You're truly expressing yourself, but you don't need to keep reminding her what happened. She KNOWS what happened. And I would even say she dwells on it. So saying stuff like 'I turned my back on you" wouldn't really help. Being self critical is fine, but I found it to be slightly overkill.
And, in the whole letter, I kept searching for the world "sorry". You haven't said sorry even once. You NEED to tell her your sorry. She NEEDS to know that. You need to actually apologize to her instead of saying that you are unworthy.
If you really think she's the one, go pursue her, and don't let up.
I'm much younger than you, but I hope my advice helps.
Best of luck, mate.
So I read your letter and I can see that you're very troubled with the situation. A lot of people here have given you great advice, I'd really consider not shooting yourself in the foot like the person above stated.
My main concern is the letter seems more about you feeling bad and wanting to make things right rather than actually apologize and let the chips fall where they may, again like the person above stated.
My two cents, take out at least half of your "I"s . Don't beat yourself up especially in a letter to her as that won't inspire confidence in you as a man. Straight up, be a man; apologize for whatever happened, tell her what you feel, and then give her space. Sucks but other than that you'll suffocate her.
Hope all goes well man.
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