The Ultimate Joke Thread - Off-topic

This thread is all about jokes. Post your favourite jokes (of any length) down here and let's keep this thread rolling for a long time. Please, don't post anything against the Forum Rules.
I'll start:
Whats the difference between a jeweler and a jailer??*One sells watches and one watches cells.

Hi there,
I'm afraid we already have a similar thread here. We will have to close this one.
Regards

Related

What is Off-topic ?

No offense meant to anyone. But why was this thread closed ? http://forum.xda-developers.com/showthread.php?t=609557
It wasn't posted in the wrong section. It is the definition of off-topic. It wasn't political. It wasn't racially or ethnically offensive. It wasn't obscene. Just because one ( again no offense ) didn't like it ?
I guess this begs the bigger question, what is the exact definition of off-topic that Mods use to decide on closing a thread ? What is too off topic. And is it a group decision to close a thread or is it a personal one ?
I have seen a lot of off....off....off topic threads in this section allowed to run their course and die ( " ...who here likes melon ? .....) Just wondering what is the definition and what is too far ?
As I felt that our discussion regarding the above-noted thread did not end on a positive tone, I took it upon myself to discuss my action of closing the thread with Flar ... as she is one of the Administrators of XDA, and ultimately should have a final word on what content should be permissible.
I remain firm that the thread should remain closed as it will simply serve to instigate a "flamewar" session amongst fellow XDA members or encourage comments that could be construed as a personal attack on Tiger Woods behaviour as depicted by the media.
That said, I am additionally concerned that closing the thread may also communicate a form of censoring as you implied - which is certainly not my intention. After my discussions with Flar, we have agreed to re-open the thread with the caveat that it not deteriorate into a personal attack on Tiger Woods or fellow XDA members.
Here is the relevant excerpt from our conversation
hilaireg said:
Hi denco7,
My intention was certainly not to offend you or to "sensor" the Off-Topic forum. I felt that no positive or constructive outcome would come from this thread.
Regards,
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denco7 said:
Don't get me wrong, I was neither offended nor did I think that you were censoring anyone's rights to their opinion.
There have been a lot of way of topic threads that have turned into fun little conversations. Getting personal insights and opinions on things from people who you usually interact with on a purely technical basis, let's you know people a little bit better and gives you an additional perspective on people. I think that is what off-topic is all about and there for. I don't think anyone is loking for anything constructive out of these threads, just fun.
I have always thought that moderation should be done in moderation. And if you thought that that violated the forum rules for off-topic, I thought that maybe it was time to start a conversation on what exactly off-topic was for and what content is too off-topic. And it wasn't just that particular thread, so I hope you weren't offended .
Cheers
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I have little interest in Tiger Woods' sex life or his moral make up. The only problem that I have is with " over moderation " In a semi public forum ( privately owned , but open to the public ) , as long as a thread does not violate forum rules, it should be allowed to run it's course and die a natural death. It is a public statement and the trashing of the thread , because one person objects to it's content or sees into the future that it " might " go awry, is censorship. I am however pleasantly surprised and most impressed that you were concerned enough to discuss it with Flar and return the threads. You have my utmost respect for doing the " right " thing despite your personal trepidations.
All that being said, let's get to my point in starting this thread. What is everyone else's opinion on what the off-topic thread should be. Aside from obvious offensive material like politics , war , race, ethnicity, porn, should we be allowed to discuss anything or just phones, HTC, or electronics.
What do people think off-topic should be, and what do you think is too off-topic
Sorry I have sbagliato where postare !
Bye
Simone
To answer your question as to what is off-topic? This thread certainly counts. You win the prize!

Complaint Department (useless posts,flaming, counter-flaming, and other nonsense)

In an effort to decrease what seems to be a growing number of complaints over useless, counter-productive posts (which in my humble opinion, are in and of themselves, also useless, counter-productive posts) I've started this thread.
Got a problem with a stupid, useless, thread-clogging post?
Want to flame someone endlessly for not reading the thread before posting? Or not reading the Original Post? Or asking a question that was clearly answered three posts before?
Cut and paste it, list it here and comment on it. Then if possible, PM the perceived wrongdoer and let them know. Or let them know as part of your next "useful" post by adding a short comment and a link to this thread. Take the fight or argument off-thread! That way, the complaints that you would be tempted to post in the affected thread, won't cause the very thing you're complaining about!
If anyone likes this idea, add the link to this thread in your signature...please don't PM me telling me you don't like this thread...
First Complaint
This is a waste of space.
All posts I make are a waste of space AND time.
The ironic thing is, although a majority of the posts on XDA qualify for this, watch this thread be the one that's the least commented in. Oh irony.
Oh NO!!!! It's Mr Bill!!!
G1BRICKED said:
All posts I make are a waste of space AND time.
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@ tnpapadakos
*sights*... how do I put this?....
There is no flaming allowed ANYWHERE in this site. Not even in Off Topic regarding to anything else. By opening this thread, you are in essence encouraging people to be rude to others, allowing them to "vent" against others. Users are not allowed to be disrespectful or flame at any time in this site. If a user does, then he/she is breaking forum rules and moderators will act accordingly. The little triangle with the exclamation sign on each post is so that anyone can let us know if any of this is going on...
I am going to close this thread simply because the only thing that you wanted this thread to do is causing users to do exactly that. They are flaming you and posting comments that serve no other purpose other than... well, flaming the OP.
If you would like to revisit this case, pm me and I will be more than happy to talk it over with the other mods. But for now...
thread closed.

Moderators moving treads all over the place

OK I am fairly new here, But I can now see why alot of people are leaving this forum and going to others. One main gripe i have is moderators up and moving posts all over the place. Ill be coming back to check a post and then all of a sudden its gone? no idea where it went have to dig through 20 topics to find it. lots of this going on as of late.
Not to mention some of my own posts moved for no reason, well at least not ones that make sence. Had one moved from general to off topic why? my post was a general post about tblet and phone things it wasent an off topic post.
also had a post for the acer iconia a500 moved from the acer iconis a500 forum becasue it was a question??? Um would not people looking for questions and answers about the iconia go look in that section? No ones gonna go to the q&a section to look for my acer iconia spacific topic. makes no sence that it was moved.
I have noticed a few devs have also abandoned xda becasue of the silliness here and moved to other forums.
OK so let me know where your gonna move this topic too ok I put it in off topic sooo. I guess im not off topic enough?
Everything ends up in OT eventually.
General section is more general and relates to some "useful" or "serious" information or discussion. OT is mainly meta topics or spam parties or jokes or happy-fun time.
Questions are ALWAYS in Q&A section, unless the question is not a question and is more of a rant.
Did I answer you enough?
p/s: Don't mess with the mods.
sakai4eva said:
Everything ends up in OT eventually.
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There's a singularity around here somewhere, sucking everything in. Once you cross the event horizon there is no escape. We are the XDA flotsam
DirkGently1 said:
There's a singularity around here somewhere, sucking everything in. Once you cross the even horizon there is no escape. We are the XDA flotsam
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Have we reached critical mass yet? Can we do time travel?
sakai4eva said:
Have we reached critical mass yet? Can we do time travel?
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Not yet I'm afraid.... Some say next year, 2012
...aes eht rednu
peed morf tneS
If your post/thread was moved most likely it was rightly so. Devs are not leaving XDA because of threads are being mved...devs are leaving because of many reasons, one being noobs posting in Dev when they should not be. We are very strict when it comes to where something goes...and soon to be more strict. We have a method to our madness...if you are confident that something you have posted was in the right area, I would suggest sending a PM to your forum moderator. You can find the list in my sig if you are not sure who that is.
And to add to the TRM post....if a MOD moved any thread, an automated PM is sent to the OP of such thread sooooooo, your accusation/rant/complain is futile and irrelevant
I call for closing this thread...question has been answered already and as Apu says: "Thank you, come again!!"
M_T_M said:
And to add to the TRM post....if a MOD moved any thread, an automated PM is sent to the OP of such thread sooooooo, your accusation/rant/complain is futile and irrelevant
I call for closing this thread...question has been answered already and as Apu says: "Thank you, come again!!"
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Agreed. Thread closed.
To the OP: If the thread was moved, it was most likely ill-placed to begin with. If you have a particular instance in which you believe your thread was moved in error, PM me the URL to the thread and I will look into it.

Who's Who at XDA 2012 *No pic no post*

Hello XDA,
I thought I'd make this thread because it would be great to put members faces to usernames. To keep it clean MOD's can help, no picture, no post.
This is me on the left with a mate from Australia, I live in New Zealand :>
http://forum.xda-developers.com/showthread.php?t=531488
IBA
This thread is a nice idea, but we really don't need two with such a similar topic.
Closed.

[OFFICIAL] "Original Cellphones" Thread

Wait... what's a smartphone? My Samsung Fliptop is now an outdated piece of tech
Have you ever thought of the fact that before smartphones, there were flip tops, normal cellphones and pocket PDAs?!
Well then this is the thread for you minority of people, including myself! In this thread, us minority can all discuss what ACTUALLY was considered "an awesome phone" before smart touch screen devices were made!
Ahh, I still rememb-... I'll stop there.
Post your photos of old phones, discuss what cell phones were like before smartphones, and have fun!
(In my opinion, a pocket PDA isn't a smart phone )
Thread already exists.
http://forum.xda-developers.com/showthread.php?t=1084240
I am posting here prior to a moderator deciding this thread no longer needs to be open!! Note to mods: I didn't say IB4L!!!
85gallon said:
Thread already exists.
http://forum.xda-developers.com/showthread.php?t=1084240
I am posting here prior to a moderator deciding this thread no longer needs to be open!! Note to mods: I didn't say IB4L!!!
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
I don't think there's anything wrong with posting the link to the already-existing thread. That actually serves a useful purpose whereas the IB4L people are just boosting their post count. Closed.

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