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8 year old boy confess to murder
This almost makes me sick to my stomach. Watching the videos that are linked are even worse. The police did not read him his rights or even attempt to allow a guardian or parent to be involved. He said from the beginning that he found his Dad and friend dead when he came home from school and then half way through after an interrogation changed his story to admitting he killed them. Now who knows maybe the kid did shoot his Dad and friend but it sounds to me like these cops are willing to do anything and sink to a new low in Criminal justice.
Many morons there, i assume...
First of all...were you there....do you know all of the facts of the case....do you know if they had a magistrate's warning for the child....do you know anything about procedures, laws, case law or are you just spewing from your mouth. What makes me upset....is that people jump to conclusions without knowing all of the facts...as you can tell by my name I am a cop...a detective in fact....so I am familiar with procedures...and I am sure that the detectives that worked this case, were by the book...if they werent guess what the court will let them know....
Man, How do you know they are showing you the WHOLE tape? I don't think even the Newest Cop would interrogate a child with out following the proper procedure. That would be like me flashing an Incorrect Radio to my phone and asking why I don't have Sound. I'm experienced. I know what I need to do.
I think your anger is misplaced. I think you are appalled that an eight year old could be capable of such an act. But however, they are. So don't be mad at the cops. They are just the messenger.
Being from a city that has seen 4 cops murdered within 6 months, I take extreme offense to the accusations being thrown around here.
Since you weren't the person who recorded the video, then how can you assume you are viewing it in it's entirety? Scum comes in all forms/ages, and I for one, believe the kid is a murderer.
there' are good cops and bad cops!
just cus he/she is a cop, that doesnt automatically makes him/her a good person!
blind belief in authority causes great crimes... allways... thats a lesson from history.. and these cops didnt follow procedure according to the article!
i think when looking at the american justice system its EXTREMELY plausible that these cops just told this 8 year old he was the purpitrator....
avathar behemoth said:
blind belief in authority causes great crimes... allways... thats a lesson from history.. and these cops didnt follow procedure according to the article!
i think when looking at the american justice system its EXTREMELY plausible that these cops just told this 8 year old he was the purpitrator....
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Did I say I had blind belief?
No I said, Don't make sweeping accusations without all the information. And honestly, the American Media is not a good source for information. It's "infotainment"
JimmyMcGee said:
Man, How do you know they are showing you the WHOLE tape? I don't think even the Newest Cop would interrogate a child with out following the proper procedure. That would be like me flashing an Incorrect Radio to my phone and asking why I don't have Sound. I'm experienced. I know what I need to do.
I think your anger is misplaced. I think you are appalled that an eight year old could be capable of such an act. But however, they are. So don't be mad at the cops. They are just the messenger.
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if they are not showing the WHOLE tape, are they hiding something?
slawcop` said:
First of all...were you there....do you know all of the facts of the case....do you know if they had a magistrate's warning for the child....do you know anything about procedures, laws, case law or are you just spewing from your mouth. What makes me upset....is that people jump to conclusions without knowing all of the facts...as you can tell by my name I am a cop...a detective in fact....so I am familiar with procedures...and I am sure that the detectives that worked this case, were by the book...if they werent guess what the court will let them know....
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First of all i would like to say thank you (Slawcop) for your post as i am a LEO in Mich. Crazy how people can just start running their mouths without even knowing what exactly is going on. The news/media just want people to see what they want them to see point blank! "We" as Police Officer see everything that goes on, we get ALL the FACTS/INFO! Maybe they should try to get into a Police Academy and see if they have what it take to become a Officer!!!!!
the boy was not read his rights bc he was assumed to be a victom...not accused of anything...then the story changed and so did the situation.
Ridiculous.
slawcop` said:
First of all...were you there....do you know all of the facts of the case....do you know if they had a magistrate's warning for the child....do you know anything about procedures, laws, case law or are you just spewing from your mouth. What makes me upset....is that people jump to conclusions without knowing all of the facts...as you can tell by my name I am a cop...a detective in fact....so I am familiar with procedures...and I am sure that the detectives that worked this case, were by the book...if they werent guess what the court will let them know....
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Firstly, isn't it your job to jump to conclusions without knowing all of the facts? You create a painting with select facts and then when you get a confession the rest is filled in. This is how a lot of crimes are solved...on good hunches. So I think I should be able to make a judgment on something in an open discussion forum.
Hmmm...perhaps I should have said These cops are ridiculous. My question to you is that if a major crime happened and you were under suspicion would you answer any questions asked? My belief would be that you would immediately get a lawyer and refuse to answer anything, this is because as a police officer you know that they try to use your words against you and confuse you into a confession....or talk you into it. This is fine for a capable adult who can make decisions. However using these tactics on a 8 year old is beyond detestable. These cops did not play it by the book. They did not read the Miranda rights, or try to find a gaurdian they simply lead this child into a confession and then charged him with murder. Again it's beside the point whether or not he did it, it's the low these cops sank too to get what they wanted. Not surprising with an adult, but with a child? Puh-lease.
Also just remember that the seal on the side of your car states "to protect and serve" and not "what are you looking at?". We have every right to question police action.
For the record I dated a CSI whose immediately family were all in the police force. So it's not like I "hate" cops or anything.
well said burgertime!
but isnt any and all evidence, including any confession, inadmissible in court?
isnt that why not the whole tape is released?
reminds me about the story about that cop in the oj trial (mark fuhrman wasnt it?) who let a (probably) guilty guy walk because he "contaminated" evidence, oh and because he was a racist who enjoyed beating up people of colour.......cops should behave better than normal citizens, but i think in many american police departments respectable behaviour is discouraged.
whytestme said:
First of all i would like to say thank you (Slawcop) for your post as i am a LEO in Mich. Crazy how people can just start running their mouths without even knowing what exactly is going on. The news/media just want people to see what they want them to see point blank! "We" as Police Officer see everything that goes on, we get ALL the FACTS/INFO! Maybe they should try to get into a Police Academy and see if they have what it take to become a Officer!!!!!
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Wouldnt that be nice is to have all citizens required to pull a stint in the military and or police force....I bet that would change some of these peoples opinions..
burgertime said:
Firstly, isn't it your job to jump to conclusions without knowing all of the facts? You create a painting with select facts and then when you get a confession the rest is filled in. This is how a lot of crimes are solved...on good hunches. So I think I should be able to make a judgment on something in an open discussion forum.
Hmmm...perhaps I should have said These cops are ridiculous. My question to you is that if a major crime happened and you were under suspicion would you answer any questions asked? My belief would be that you would immediately get a lawyer and refuse to answer anything, this is because as a police officer you know that they try to use your words against you and confuse you into a confession....or talk you into it. This is fine for a capable adult who can make decisions. However using these tactics on a 8 year old is beyond detestable. These cops did not play it by the book. They did not read the Miranda rights, or try to find a gaurdian they simply lead this child into a confession and then charged him with murder. Again it's beside the point whether or not he did it, it's the low these cops sank too to get what they wanted. Not surprising with an adult, but with a child? Puh-lease.
Also just remember that the seal on the side of your car states "to protect and serve" and not "what are you looking at?". We have every right to question police action.
For the record I dated a CSI whose immediately family were all in the police force. So it's not like I "hate" cops or anything.
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Ok…are you really that naïve? It is obvious that you are that uninformed about this case and obviously about what it takes to be a police officer. I don’t jump to any conclusions…I take fact and reasonable prudent means when investigating. I don’t “fill” anything in based off of hunch…..Hunches don’t solve crime..nor have they ever….facts and evidence charge a person with a crime……Probable Cause…charges someone, reasonable suspicion to stop someone, proof beyond a reasonable doubt to convict someone…..no where in there is there anything about hunches….I don’t convict anyone…judges and jury do…..I just present them with the facts of the case not hunches or hearsay, which you obviously listen to. If your going to make a judgment at least make an educated, sound judgment and don’t quote CNN.
You don’t know these cops are ridiculous. They might have made mistakes, but you quoting what CNN is saying it pretty uninformed on your part since you aren’t there. For you information and to answer your question..i have been accused and under suspicion for a crime before and yes I have and would answer questions. I wouldn’t get a lawyer because I have nothing to hide….I am not some unethical, untrustworthy, human being….I am a man who can and will admit when he messes up…See what is wrong with this world today is that everyone wants to blame everyone else for their problems instead of taking responsibility. Us as men are the main culprits…I am a MAN….I don’t need a lawyer nor are you offered one until you are charged….This is the way it works for all….What I really love about your statement is this, “this is because as a police officer you know that they try to use your words against you and confuse you into a confession....or talk you into it.” OMG….and I really hate using that…try to use your words against you…and confuse you into a confession or talk you into it…are you kidding me….that has to be a joke right…I am not even going to dignify that with a response. Grow up man, stop watching cop drama movies and listen to the news and educate yourself about the facts of not only the criminal justice system, but life in general.
“Again it's beside the point whether or not he did it, it's the low these cops sank too to get what they wanted. Not surprising with an adult, but with a child? Puh-lease.” I love this one too, it is beside the point….yeah two lives are lost and that is the point…remember that…if the cops screwed up then they screwed up…they “we” are human cut us some slack. If you think you can do it….come on with it.
I am very aware of what the side of a car says. I can even tell you what my oath is…so I don’t need some uninformed person telling me what my job is especially when you don’t know…”
Well I am glad you dated a CSI…that means absolutely nothing….and it completely irrelevant. The entire point in my response is that you don’t know anything about the case, but yet you are quick to call it….know the facts before you put your name as a “MAN” behind what your saying…
JimmyMcGee said:
Man, How do you know they are showing you the WHOLE tape? I don't think even the Newest Cop would interrogate a child with out following the proper procedure. That would be like me flashing an Incorrect Radio to my phone and asking why I don't have Sound. I'm experienced. I know what I need to do.
I think your anger is misplaced. I think you are appalled that an eight year old could be capable of such an act. But however, they are. So don't be mad at the cops. They are just the messenger.
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NotATreoFan said:
Being from a city that has seen 4 cops murdered within 6 months, I take extreme offense to the accusations being thrown around here.
Since you weren't the person who recorded the video, then how can you assume you are viewing it in it's entirety? Scum comes in all forms/ages, and I for one, believe the kid is a murderer.
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Well said both of you....
avathar behemoth said:
well said burgertime!
but isnt any and all evidence, including any confession, inadmissible in court?
isnt that why not the whole tape is released?
reminds me about the story about that cop in the oj trial (mark fuhrman wasnt it?) who let a (probably) guilty guy walk because he "contaminated" evidence, oh and because he was a racist who enjoyed beating up people of colour.......cops should behave better than normal citizens, but i think in many american police departments respectable behaviour is discouraged.
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Wow...you obvioulsy have alot of well known facts about America and its police force....
yes evidence would be inadmissble if it is obtained wrong....and yes that cop made a mistake, but he is human....he can do that...he is no longer a cop because he was a racist...i am sure you have the perfect police force where you are....
slawcop` said:
Ok…are you really that naïve? It is obvious that you are that uninformed about this case and obviously about what it takes to be a police officer. I don’t jump to any conclusions…I take fact and reasonable prudent means when investigating. I don’t “fill” anything in based off of hunch…..Hunches don’t solve crime..nor have they ever….facts and evidence charge a person with a crime……Probable Cause…charges someone, reasonable suspicion to stop someone, proof beyond a reasonable doubt to convict someone…..no where in there is there anything about hunches….I don’t convict anyone…judges and jury do…..I just present them with the facts of the case not hunches or hearsay, which you obviously listen to. If your going to make a judgment at least make an educated, sound judgment and don’t quote CNN.
You don’t know these cops are ridiculous. They might have made mistakes, but you quoting what CNN is saying it pretty uninformed on your part since you aren’t there. For you information and to answer your question..i have been accused and under suspicion for a crime before and yes I have and would answer questions. I wouldn’t get a lawyer because I have nothing to hide….I am not some unethical, untrustworthy, human being….I am a man who can and will admit when he messes up…See what is wrong with this world today is that everyone wants to blame everyone else for their problems instead of taking responsibility. Us as men are the main culprits…I am a MAN….I don’t need a lawyer nor are you offered one until you are charged….This is the way it works for all….What I really love about your statement is this, “this is because as a police officer you know that they try to use your words against you and confuse you into a confession....or talk you into it.” OMG….and I really hate using that…try to use your words against you…and confuse you into a confession or talk you into it…are you kidding me….that has to be a joke right…I am not even going to dignify that with a response. Grow up man, stop watching cop drama movies and listen to the news and educate yourself about the facts of not only the criminal justice system, but life in general.
“Again it's beside the point whether or not he did it, it's the low these cops sank too to get what they wanted. Not surprising with an adult, but with a child? Puh-lease.” I love this one too, it is beside the point….yeah two lives are lost and that is the point…remember that…if the cops screwed up then they screwed up…they “we” are human cut us some slack. If you think you can do it….come on with it.
I am very aware of what the side of a car says. I can even tell you what my oath is…so I don’t need some uninformed person telling me what my job is especially when you don’t know…”
Well I am glad you dated a CSI…that means absolutely nothing….and it completely irrelevant. The entire point in my response is that you don’t know anything about the case, but yet you are quick to call it….know the facts before you put your name as a “MAN” behind what your saying…
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Naive? Hardly. Uninformed on this case? I will concede to that....either way it is my opinion and evidently quite a few lawyers and former prosecutors agree. Just google this case and see.
Now on to your other points. If your a detective and were under suspicion of something as serious as murder and you would answer all questions with out a lawyer then your the one who is naive. I have served on a jury, and have a friend who is a public defender. I've seen first hand how the justice system works. Also my friend has told me plenty about how cops and detectives operate. Lets get one thing straight, I think those tactics are fair when it is two adults. If your stupid enough to admit to something then that is your fault and I applaud the cop who can get his man just using his guile....however this was a child and not an adult.
As an adult it should be easy to see that a detective who is interrogating me is tricking me, and I also know that "anything I say will be used AGAINST ME". It doesn't say in the Miranda rights anything can be used for me it says anything can be used against me. However your average child can't comprehend this. You know that and I know that. Guilty or not guilty has no bearing on this. It's the fact that these cops were willing to curt the legal system to prosecute a child.
Come on, I am not an idiot, your telling me that you have never just suspected someone based on circumstantial evidence? Then got that person to confess only using the circumstantial evidence? If not, your not doing job good enough. Cases are won and lost all the time on circumstantial evidence. This is evidence that is merely suspicion and not based on hard evidence.
I think the problem here is twofold:
First, people who are not Cops seem almost invariably to fall for the media hype that Cops aren't "real people" but some kind of group of brainwashed individuals who only care about getting a tick mark on their record for solving cases. This is simply NOT TRUE. Cops don't get paid extra for solving cases. They don't get rewards, awards, or any "kudos" other than maybe a slap on the back or a "good job" from their supervisors. They are people who hate the thought of a child victim or a child committing a crime as much as any other reasonable person in society. It is expounded upon over and over again in a Cop's career that it is as more important to make sure innocent persons don't go to jail than it is to catch a crook. It is simply unbelievable how many criminals I have seen that were not charged with the crime because there was an enormous amount of circumstantial evidence... But, maybe, not quite enough for a proof beyond a reasonable doubt.
Second, the media rarely shows the whole video of any Police involved incident because they want RATINGS and MONEY. I can't recall how many videos I have watched in training in which 48 hrs or a similar show chopped up an in car video and showed only the seemingly negative sections of the video just to create a national uproar about an incident. Then Cops get to watch the video years later (after the court case is over) with the edited parts included. Then you see the cop ask the suspect out of the vehicle six-eight times before the fight is on.
In my experience most Cops care the MOST about children. Children tend to be the most innocent and when they are victimized they are true victims in every sense of the word without any way remove themselves from the situation or defend themselves. Many Detectives REFUSE to work child crimes because they don't think they can personally/mentally handle seeing the abuse that occurs.
Allegations that some Cops would attempt to FRAME and 8 year old child both makes me sick at my stomach and makes me realize just how much people are willing to see another as an ogre rather than look for a reasonable/rational reason for the conduct.
So I was wondering what you lot think of paparazzi photographers. I'm sure I will see mixed opinions and some flaming, but I'm just interested what you guys (and of course girl ;-) ) think. Once this thread gets moving I will tell you why I posted this.
I despise them. I consider them failed journalists and art majors. If I was famous, I would probably have lawsuits against me for cracking their skulls.
And it's the idiotic public who can not seem to get enough "real life" bull**** from the tv that is fueling the fire. [/rant]
I find them annoying Every where i go they follow me, they list everything I buy, Cant they just leave me alone Jk no paparazzi ever follow me apart from that one time when i threw half eaten hot dog at them, it was more of a chase though
Fair enough to them though, it's there jobs, but when they just follow people for nothing eg. going to the shops, thats annoying no one cares what they bought.We care if they marry etc. though
So now my opinion. I'm a part time paparazzi (and she's my biggest fan, she follows me around....lol) and had a job yesterday. When some people say it's illegal it's 100% legal to photograph anyone on public property. Even though I just started I consider myself an old school pap (as in having a huge lens waiting on the other side of the street photographing without the celebs seeing me). The new type of paparazzi piss me off. They stand in front of doors and bombard the celeb fith flash, which doesn't show what they are doing. Why do we do it? There's a market for it. Many people are annoyed by paps saying that they don't respect the privacy of celebs, but yet these same people are the ones that buy and read all the gossip magazines trying to know what their favorite stars are doing. Also my shots from yestarday might jeapordize someone's marrige
jaszek said:
When some people say it's illegal it's 100% legal to photograph anyone on public property.
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no , its not like that ... its 100% legal to photograph you on public property
and its also 100% legal but ull be on the ****ter with a broken nose and felony charges for assaulting an officer(just to be sure) before u kno it if u try and film the popo (cuz theyre gods)
It's legal stalking that is fed by the dollars of the stupid.
Stardom has its cost. And I guess that cost is jackholes behind a bush or other places with a camera.
good day.
I, personally, don't hate paparazzi. Just regular people (mostly) trying to make a living.
What I hate is that there is actually a market for this garbage. I blame the tabloids, and the "spell" Hollywood has over us as a society.
I hate celebrity gossip magazines. I dont care what a "celebrity" is doing unless I am watching them in a movie. Paparazzi are annoying, but the publications that purchase their photos and make up BS stories are inane and frankly just scum.
Sorry about putting this here, seeing as its not the most cheerful subject and all.
A close friend passed away recently and I wanted to get something to put on his grave, I dont know if you've seen them but you can get these large plastic frames that have real flowers on them arranged to make text like "Brother".
I wanted something like that but a bit more permanent and I want to be able to put custom text there.
Are any of you aware of any such service? Time doesnt really matter but as always I havent got tons of money to spend so I dont really know where to look first.
raze599 said:
Sorry about putting this here, seeing as its not the most cheerful subject and all.
A close friend passed away recently and I wanted to get something to put on his grave, I dont know if you've seen them but you can get these large plastic frames that have real flowers on them arranged to make text like "Brother".
I wanted something like that but a bit more permanent and I want to be able to put custom text there.
Are any of you aware of any such service? Time doesnt really matter but as always I havent got tons of money to spend so I dont really know where to look first.
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Talk to the funeral parlour. They should know where to arrange a stone engraving service of sorts.
Other than that, I don't know
And I'm sorry for your loss.
Sorry to hear about your friend. Spike Milligan had "I told you i was ill" as his epitaph. Personally, i'd prefer something with humour rather than something somber too, but most churches have strict rules about this so you'd have to check to see what is or isn't deemed acceptable where you are.
DirkGently1 said:
Sorry to hear about your friend. Spike Milligan had "I told you i was ill" as his epitaph. Personally, i'd prefer something with humour rather than something somber too, but most churches have strict rules about this so you'd have to check to see what is or isn't deemed acceptable where you are.
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Infact due to church rules, he had to have "Dúirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite" which is the Irish for "I told you I was ill"
My sister met Spike once as a young relative of his went to our school, he was a fun guy.
Some rules are pathetic such as not allowing Daddy or Mummy.
You can get realistic small flowers which can make up the flower arrangements such as MUM.
Another thought would be if you have a group photo, or the pair of you together, get it printed on metal/acrylic/perspex so that it can be placed with the grave and cope with the weather, just make sure you get assurances from the printer that their process is suitable for outdoor display and resistant to fading.
So this has absolutely nothing to do with Android or anything...
So me and my wife have been together since freshman year in high school we are now 27.. have a 7 year old and a 1 month old. I love her.. and would never cheat on her..
A week or so ago I got a message from a cute chick on facebook saying she wanted to be my friend. I asked her why she said because she thought i looked cute in my pictures. I told her she wasn't so bad looking and we had a kind of flirty conversation. I did however tell her about my wife and kids and we talked about things like where we live and what not.. noting more than a PG conversation..
IT NEVER WENT ANY FARTHER THAN THIS CONVERSATION AND ONLY ONCE...
So i left my FB page up and my wife snooped and read my messages.. she is now crying..
I do feel bad that she got her feelings hurt, but i don't really feel like i did anything wrong..
Let me know what you guys think about my mess i made... just curious about outside opinions..
Well, just tell her it was a mistake.
You were stupid and just liked the attention. It wasn't like you intended to cheat on her.
Think about how you would feel if you seen her doing that to you.
Nothing will gain you're trust back from her but time...
The above is very good advice.
This seems like a weird place to ask such a question, but what the hell, I'll give it a shot too.
Tell her you love her very much and that you would never, ever cheat on her. You have to be absolutely sincere about this and make yourself believe it even if you actually did think about cheating. Any doubt that you show she will pick up on now.
PS: I've never understood why everyone loves Facebook. I hate that ****.
shawayne21 said:
Well, just tell her it was a mistake.
You were stupid and just liked the attention. It wasn't like you intended to cheat on her.
Think about how you would feel if you seen her doing that to you.
Nothing will gain you're trust back from her but time...
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Thanks. Good advice
Haints said:
The above is very good advice.
This seems like a weird place to ask such a question, but what the hell, I'll give it a shot too.
Tell her you love her very much and that you would never, ever cheat on her. You have to be absolutely sincere about this and make yourself believe it even if you actually did think about cheating. Any doubt that you show she will pick up on now.
PS: Facebook sucks.
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I am sincere. I had no intentions of cheating..
LOL and i know but I am here alot you guys are like family and it seemed like a good place to get non objective view..
Its reasons like that me and my wife share a FB account. Full freaking transparency! Just tell her you got caught up for a minute because we all like to be flattered once in a while. I'm sure she has flirted at some point behind your back.
In times of great personal conflict and inner-turmoil with the ones I love, I also think of turning to an cell-phone internet message board of complete strangers for advice.
badaphooko01 said:
Its reasons like that me and my wife share a FB account. Full freaking transparency! Just tell her you got caught up for a minute because we all like to be flattered once in a while. I'm sure she has flirted at some point behind your back.
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+1 to this. My wife and I share one too and have the privacy set high. We orignally got it to "spy" on people but have since put some stuff on there. Agree also with the "everyone wants to feel special" once in awhile aspect too. I can garauntee that if you try hard enough, you can find some instance that she has flirted too, but why would you want to do that b/c you'll just end up over analyzing everything. Just say you are sorry.
Side story:
A long time ago (15+) before FB, G+ ot twitter, I used to work nights in college. I got home late one night and my girlfriend at the time was asleep. The phone rang and I used to have this habit of screwing with tele-marketers to hopefully piss them off enough to drop my number.
This time it was just a wrong number, but there was a shy, what sounded like a cute voice on the other line that apologized for calling the wrong number. Before she got off the phone, I asked her what she was wearing and messed with her a little bit, then hung up. Told my girlfriend in the morning about it and we laughed (full disclosure-sorry I'm honest like that).
Anyways this girl called back the next night too and this time my girlfriend was up and we totally messed with this girls head and got her to agree to meet for a 3-way (only problem was she didn't know my GF was on the phone so it was going to be with her and her boyfriend-I don't do two swords if you know what I mean).
Long story short, we completely messed with this girl and my phone company at the time had this feature that if right after you got an annoying call you could hit *57 and if you did it to the same number 3 times in one month, it got their phone shut off for a month for harassing.
If you can't or won't follow though woth something, don't chat with someone you don't know. For all you know, it could have been me on the other side of the Facebook message.
PJcastaldo said:
Thanks. Good advice
I am sincere. I had no intentions of cheating..
LOL and i know but I am here alot you guys are like family and it seemed like a good place to get non objective view..
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Yeah man, what you SHOULD do now, dont know if youre willing to do so, but you should just give her your facebook password. If you know youre not going to do anything like that again, she should be able to have it.
It will get a LOADDD off her shoulders knowing she doesnt have to sneak up on you, but rather look for herself at any time.
Hope everything goes well for you man. Just give it time.
FACEBOOK IS FULL OF PEOPLE YOU USED TO KNOW AND DONT WANT TO TALK TO, TWITTER IS FULL OF PEOPLE YOU DONT KNOW AND WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO..IMO,Hope everything works out,
hope everything is working out.
Im just a couple yrs older than you and have have been married about the same time, have 1 child also; so I can understand how this would be a really emotional situation for her and then you.
others gave good advice. be honest w her. tell her it was a mistake. let her look through all your other FB, email, ect... messages to prove to her that this was a one time semi-inocent situation.
even though you did nothing wrong, and maybe you did not, but put yourself in her situation. if you found that on her FB, you would probably be pretty pissed too (at least I would be).
so let her look at everything, give her your passwords, what ever you need to show her that this was a one time incident, that it was nothing more then casual chatting, but you understand that she is upset and you see how it looks now, you would be too in her situation, and that you wont do it again.
good luck
Online cheating is cheating.
I have a different opinion.
I think you should have never added her and never had any type of conversation with her. There is no reason a married man with children should be adding random females to his Facebook.
Secondly, you said you had no intention of cheating, but what about online cheating? What if she had asked you to get on Skype so she could give you a little show. Are you telling me you wouldn't go and watch and maybe join on Skype yourself?
That is my opinion. We live in a new world, and online relationships are a form of cheating in my opinion. You wouldn't sit with this girl at a coffee shop and chit chat, you shouldn't online either.
That's why I'm getting married till I'm like late 20's/early 30's
Hope it works out mate!
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PJcastaldo said:
So this has absolutely nothing to do with Android or anything...
So me and my wife have been together since freshman year in high school we are now 27.. have a 7 year old and a 1 month old. I love her.. and would never cheat on her..
A week or so ago I got a message from a cute chick on facebook saying she wanted to be my friend. I asked her why she said because she thought i looked cute in my pictures. I told her she wasn't so bad looking and we had a kind of flirty conversation. I did however tell her about my wife and kids and we talked about things like where we live and what not.. noting more than a PG conversation..
IT NEVER WENT ANY FARTHER THAN THIS CONVERSATION AND ONLY ONCE...
So i left my FB page up and my wife snooped and read my messages.. she is now crying..
I do feel bad that she got her feelings hurt, but i don't really feel like i did anything wrong..
Let me know what you guys think about my mess i made... just curious about outside opinions..
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Tell her you love her AND that you were A COMPETE DUMBASS for having a meaningless, stupid convo. Then be good and don't do this AGAIN!
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One day I was at my girlfriend's house, her hot sister came to me and asked if I would like to sleep with her. I was shocked, and, as fast as I could, ran out of the house to my car. To my surprise my girlfriend was outside leaning against the car. She then said, "I knew I could trust you! ", then gave me a hug and told me she loved me.
Moral of the story?
Always keep your condoms in your car.
Wow, what a mess you've gotten yourself into.
If you haven't already, I think you need to first know and understand why your wife is upset.
After years of marriage, she certainly knows you as a person. If you're the type of person who doesn't cheat, she probably knows it. So it's not really a matter of "cheating".
It's a matter of loyalty and sense of security.
It's inevitable that people change over time. They're older, wiser, have different perspectives, etc. But the one thing that doesn't (ie, shouldn't) change is your commitment to your spouse.
when people first started dating, they think they're the perfect match for each other. After years of marriage you might:
-pack on some extra weight
-lose some hair
-no longer buy flowers for your wife
-no longer put up the toilet seat
-have different political views
-discover both of you have different tastes in music
-etc
But, damn it, she knows that at least she can confidently say "After all this time, my husband still loves me."
And if she has a bad day at work or if she just needs a hug, you're there for her. No matter what, you're suppose to have her back. You're her pillar to lean on. She might not need your support all the time, but she knows that if she does, you're there all the time, rock solid.
That "pillar" is what you've compromised here.
So when trying to make amends, don't focus on the FB chat. That's not the real issue at hand. Do what you need to do to let her know that you're still there for her.
TO YOUR WIFE :
plz forgive him, it's nothing, he's a loving husband if he's asking such a small thing here, that means he loves you alot.
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DevStaffAndroid said:
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now THATS a helpful answer xD
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Me and my GF had a three day fight cause I never changed my Facebook profile from "single" to "in a relationship", and she thinks she had it bad. Of cpurse her drama queen sister conviced her it was so i can cheat. I only log in once or twice a month and never thought to change it.
OP you guys should just delete all your Facebook profiles, its more trouble than it's worth, like the situation you got into.
Facebook is nothing but a gathering for information and statistics anyway.
Simply don't post stuff at all
Hey Guys,
so I'm 14 and coloured and my whole Village and school is full of "white",
i mean i have many friends but my computer science teacher is such a b***h.
She bullying on me where ever she can's just like in this project she said to me i have to use all the basic html comands without div's and so on. But to my other "white" classmates she said that they can usw everythung she helps them and when the others are disturbing the teaching lessons everytime she yells at me. my whole class thinks that she hates me...
So how would you handle it?
BTW: sry for my Bad english Dudes i'm living in Germany
milestone97 said:
Hey Guys,
so I'm 14 and coloured and my whole Village and school is full of "white",
i mean i have many friends but my computer science teacher is such a b***h.
She bullying on me where ever she can's just like in this project she said to me i have to use all the basic html comands without div's and so on. But to my other "white" classmates she said that they can usw everythung she helps them and when the others are disturbing the teaching lessons everytime she yells at me. my whole class thinks that she hates me...
So how would you handle it?
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Click to collapse
you take away her power, dont try to handle it with her, go her supervisor, ie the rector and report her. Aslong as you and you classmates and her are involved she will have the power.
If you want to do however want to solve it between you and her, start by talk to her straight up about the situation. If she dont accknowledge or take you serious, then tell her that you are heading to the rectors office.
Dont be afraid to start some beef, if you keep ignoring stuff like this then I can assure you wil send a signal that it is okey to do it.
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I already wanted to go there with my friends but she's a kind of teacher if you say something wrong she won't forget it, oh yeah and my nice headteacher -_-, 2 years ago i start to went to go in a laptop class i and my friend got a virus, where the systemadministraor said that was our own fault and i have to transfer 30 bucks to the bankaccount from the school, we done it already that that day bit one week later my headteacher came into the class took my laptop and heavily shouted at me so that i began start crying but he didn't stop he was contunine,
even my class teacher said that he was overacting, when i get home my dad calles the headmaster and said that whats he problem war after a quick talk my headteacher admit that he didn't look for along 3 weeks at his Bankaccount if the money was already there, so he just yelled at me without any information but my White friend didn't had any problems
Call the Police?
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milestone97 said:
I already wanted to go there with my friends but she's a kind of teacher if you say something wrong she won't forget it, oh yeah and my nice headteacher -_-, 2 years ago i start to went to go in a laptop class i and my friend got a virus, where the systemadministraor said that was our own fault and i have to transfer 30 bucks to the bankaccount from the school, we done it already that that day bit one week later my headteacher came into the class took my laptop and heavily shouted at me so that i began start crying but he didn't stop he was contunine,
even my class teacher said that he was overacting, when i get home my dad calles the headmaster and said that whats he problem war after a quick talk my headteacher admit that he didn't look for along 3 weeks at his Bankaccount if the money was already there, so he just yelled at me without any information but my White friend didn't had any problems
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Is the headteacher your rector? you need to talk to someone who can do something about it, ask your dad or anyone who maybe have time to join you in class, to let the teachers know that you are not alone in this. If it doesnt help then you bring media attention to it. Dont worry, your father seems like he can protect you no matter what.
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milestone97 said:
I already wanted to go there with my friends but she's a kind of teacher if you say something wrong she won't forget it, oh yeah and my nice headteacher -_-, 2 years ago i start to went to go in a laptop class i and my friend got a virus, where the systemadministraor said that was our own fault and i have to transfer 30 bucks to the bankaccount from the school, we done it already that that day bit one week later my headteacher came into the class took my laptop and heavily shouted at me so that i began start crying but he didn't stop he was contunine,
even my class teacher said that he was overacting, when i get home my dad calles the headmaster and said that whats he problem war after a quick talk my headteacher admit that he didn't look for along 3 weeks at his Bankaccount if the money was already there, so he just yelled at me without any information but my White friend didn't had any problems
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In the US, we have superintendents over school districts. There should be something similar for you. Unless schools are privately owned and funded then you may have nobody to go to other than the headmaster.
If you were in the US, I'd have more advice to give. I just don't know how things work there.
Either way, you don't deserve it. Don't just sit back and take it. You need to stand up for yourself. I'm sorry this is happening to you, racism is something that no one should tolerate - regardless of race.
Take a sound recorder, keep recording until there's racism, when you've got enough evidence show it to your local council or someone in power, such as school governors and your parents
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The thing is that they won't call me a ****** at least the teachers...
i mean there many guys who made racism jokes when i'm around or they have massivly prejudice, that many tiny things over the years that let you feel different... like the thing where my neighbours collected signatures cause our house is concealeing them their sun so they wanted us to move out.
BTW: I don't know if we have something like a superitendor^^
Oh yeah and the headteacher and recoter is the same in germany
How about changing school? Are the other schools in the area that you can switch to?
No... how i said this is a small village... i just wanted to wait cause next year i will be finished with this school and will going to another school in a city with more foreigners
So what the racism here? You think because you black she using racism on you, maybe its just they you see it.
milestone97 said:
Hey Guys,
so I'm 14 and coloured and my whole Village and school is full of "white",
i mean i have many friends but my computer science teacher is such a b***h.
She bullying on me where ever she can's just like in this project she said to me i have to use all the basic html comands without div's and so on. But to my other "white" classmates she said that they can usw everythung she helps them and when the others are disturbing the teaching lessons everytime she yells at me. my whole class thinks that she hates me...
So how would you handle it?
BTW: sry for my Bad english Dudes i'm living in Germany
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Click to collapse
The first question is how do you behave in class?
It is very easy as a teenager to feel that teachers are out to get you when their actions can be understandable.
We had someone in our class who messed around and was passive aggressive to the teachers. As far as he was concerned the teachers had it in for him, as far as they were concerned he was a troublesome child who took up too much of their time to the detriment of the other kids.
Now, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
Some teachers would target him and one tried to get him suspended. She was an art teacher and hated by most students, so one day they all lined up the stairs to the art room blocking the hand rail from her, she slipped. Rather than blame the kids who had caused the accident, she tried to have my friend suspended even though he was sat in the class nowhere near the stairs, behaving himself. She said because he was a disruptive child she was busy thinking what to do with him during the lesson so slipped on the stairs. Thankfully another teacher pointed out how stupid she was being.
Our head of year used to poke kids with the force of a punch, so if they complained it didn't sound that bad and would be ignored, imagine it, saying "he poked me really hard" it doesn't sound serious does it?
If you are genuinely always well behaved, never disrupt the class and are being unfairly harassed, then your parents must get involved and complain formally.
Who runs the school? In the UK most are run by the county council so a complaint can be made to them. Schools also often have governors; parents who help run and guide the school, if you have them get your parents to complain to them.