Is this right or wrong? - Off-topic

Plz don't neglect my opinion, please give me your opinion, i need it to save myself.
The story goes like this, I love a girl, and I have talked to her dad, but her dad said no, and told that she is already engaged with an guy, and my dad even went and told that guy that, the girl and I both love each other, still than he married her, now all the people in her family thinks that that guy is very good as he still agreed to marry even after knowing all this, I think that he is so rude, as if he really loved her he would have understood her and let her go, her parents are proud of him, and they are telling me that I am bad and not really loving her , as if was loving her truly I would have let her go, She wants to get out of this mess, but loves her parents and don't wont to hurt them , so please tell who is good and who is bad.. Plz tell me as I need as more opinion as i get to make her understand the reality... The girl is shy, and everyone knows that she doesn't speak much, so to get something out of her ones needs to ask, her than only she will speak out, even her parents knew this, they never gave her a chance, always gave her excuse, like we will see to it, let some time pass, but they were plain excuses, they told me that they really cared about their daughter, and also told me that if she comes with me and marry me, than they will make there other daughter marry that guy.. now i don't understand what kind of love is that??

Can I ask what an NRI is before I make an opinion? Kinda borderlining on either side here.

NRI stands for Non Residental Indian, he is from Singapore, in India there is a trend to get a broom from anywhere else than India

There are something like 4 Billion women in the world. If this one won't stand up for what she wants there are plenty that will.

DirkGently1 said:
There are something like 4 Billion women in the world. If this one won't stand up for what she wants there are plenty that will.
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^^ this man gets it.
Sent from my PC36100 using XDA App

dirkgently1 said:
there are something like 4 billion women in the world. If this one won't stand up for what she wants there are plenty that will.
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+1 thats fore sure!

i don't mind as long as there's at least one that's willing to lay down for what i want

Dirk got it right.
Also, your cultural policies on marriage kinda suck.

Related

[Q] Me and my girl had a fight

So we had another fight about me spending too much time playing with and talking about android and phones. As long as cellphones don't come up in conversation we were the happiest couple in the world. But I finally broke up with her because I couldn't even think about android without her getting mad at me. And I figured I would just find a girl that shared my interest. But I just realized that there are ZERO females(at least in the state of alabama) that even know what android is. Should I quit looking now? Does anyone have any advice to find them(if they exist that is)?
I lol'ed so hard.
if this isnt a troll , ur a noob for not being able to control urself not to talk about ur fone
sounded like my wife ...picking a fight because too much time on xda and phones.... Well, you can move from your state
souljaboy said:
if this isnt a troll , ur a noob for not being able to control urself not to talk about ur fone
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Sorry you think I'm a noob, but I can control myself enough to not talk about it, but WHY should I? I'm going to look for a girl with common interest, and if I don't find anyone I will suppress my techie talk. But until I know that she doesn't exist, why would I change the kind of woman I would like to date?
So next time your off just supermanning hoes think about what a relationship should be about.
This is what I get for asking for girl advice on xda
LMAOO! If your serious, I really think you messed up BIG time! Call her now, apologize, and get off of XDA.
sorry to hear it bro. my wife also gets pissy when im on modding/hacking forums too much, but she'll get used to it eventually
I somewhat agree with Original Android.... if you usually get along, apologize and try to consider some of her interests. some people just dont get our devotion(addiction) to such things
as far as quitting XDA..... bad idea. maybe just set a specific time for this great site.
its all about compromise homey..... i hate you for making me think serious!! j/k
Had a fight here too for this very same reason...
Mr. Clown said:
sounded like my wife ...picking a fight because too much time on xda and phones.... Well, you can move from your state
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orb3000 said:
Had a fight here too for this very same reason...
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Well my friend, it's time to negotiate . I did this with my wife, I agreed with her that I will spend some hours a week to be on the web and xda of course (while she's around). So both of us are happy since I comply with the terms when she's around ....but she's not always around you know.
Yes, time is not equal my girl says...
Anyway we should re negotiate a new way if possible
She's the one, I'm pretty sure of it
Original Android <3ers! said:
LMAOO! If your serious, I really think you messed up BIG time! Call her now, apologize, and get off of XDA.
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Ok first off, hope you are LOVING highschool and football still. And yes I messed up big time, she's truely a wonderful person. But I didn't have to call her, she called me and we came to a compromise. She said if I would buy her that "nexus thingy" and actually "teach" her what I was talking about, she thinks she would really enjoy learning about it. And in my mind it wasn't a compromise, I got exactly what I wanted..... oh wait I just spent $500 on an N1
griffincash said:
Ok first off, hope you are LOVING highschool and football still. And yes I messed up big time, she's truely a wonderful person. But I didn't have to call her, she called me and we came to a compromise. She said if I would buy her that "nexus thingy" and actually "teach" her what I was talking about, she thinks she would really enjoy learning about it. And in my mind it wasn't a compromise, I got exactly what I wanted..... oh wait I just spent $500 on an N1
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I'm going to be frank. Return that N1. The relationship is now headed in the wrong direction for the wrong reasons.
In your future relationships, if you're with your girl, be with your girl. Learn to compromise. Your partner's reaction to the particular behavior (i.e., dealing/talking Android) is ultimately just a natural reaction towards the frequency in which you exhibited it (i.e., excessively). Imagine if your partner asked you to accompany them to go shopping every day of the week for at least 3 hours each day. While you guys are shopping, she'll talk to you about every brand, and fashion, etc. Should she leave you because you aren't interested in her interests?
Your Android fetish is a hobby. There are more important things in life that you should be paying attention to. I'm not saying this girl is -the- one you'll be with for the rest of your life, but things like growing and improving social skills should take greater precedence than learning and keeping what's up with the latest and greatest on Cyanogen mods.
Take my advice for what it's worth to you. Just remember, at the end of the day, it's just a phone.
Im not returning the N1. I shouldn't have ever posted this thread. I know exactly what important things are in my life(what exactly did you even mean by that??). I'm going to stop this now because people don't and can't know every detail about our relationship and it is now being misinterpreted.
And it's not about roms or tweaks it's about the future of technology, which I think everyone can agree is rather important
well this is funny... you are trying to find a girlfriend on XDA ?
cupcake2301 said:
well this is funny... you are trying to find a girlfriend on XDA ?
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LOL, I lol'd big time.
Sent from my GT-I9000 using XDA App
PaulForde said:
LOL, I lol'd big time.
Sent from my GT-I9000 using XDA App
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So did I mate ! The OP should go to some dating fora or something why on XDA ! LOL !
fk, i had something like this too once, since then i didnt talk about phones that much anymore xD..
well but she knows now that this is like a hobby for me, and its not that bad when i talk about it from time to time...
hell we are techjunkies, but even we need to hold back with our tech **** when talking to a girl xD
(i knew that before, but, for example, i couldnt live with it, if my gf would buy an iphone.................XD)
griffincash said:
Im not returning the N1. I shouldn't have ever posted this thread. I know exactly what important things are in my life(what exactly did you even mean by that??). I'm going to stop this now because people don't and can't know every detail about our relationship and it is now being misinterpreted.
And it's not about roms or tweaks it's about the future of technology, which I think everyone can agree is rather important
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You telling me that it's not about ROM or tweaks and that it is actually about the future of technology is really a bad attempt at justifying your hobby. This is even illustrated by the following clause when you feel the need to garner further support of your hobby by amassing the opinions of your fellow XDA members.
But nevermind that, good luck with the relationship. I do hope that things work out in the end.
daamn!!!
I usually dont talk about phones when Im with my girl... hell I've even visited xda less, since Im in a normal relations (not those in which I have to be responsible for everyf**king thing.. - had one of those about a year and a half ago)
anyways - just find something to talk about that is interesting for both of you + keeps your mind off the phones...
or if you can't you can get yourself off the xda, or you can always ask someone to ban you.. just kidding
so basically she had the bravery to say : $500 fone or no sammiches
and ur happy about it

Has the word THANKS and SORRY become to cheap?

Do you think that, too?
Quite the opposite, i reckon they're still not used enough. Of course it's become easier to do online but people are still reserved and reticent to be polite to strangers. Natural reaction i guess. Perhaps the fact that people are being polite online may carry over to real life eventually?
Personally i've always found myself being awkward in real life social situations and heartfelt stuff just makes it worse. Gotta be drunk for that stuff! No such problem saying Thanks, please, sorry etc on here though.
I don't think the mods will like that. A "thank you" is a thing you'll have to deserve.
I will however 'Thank' any currently serving, or previously serving, member of any of the Armed Services on principal.
Should the OP decide to enlist and serve his Queen and Country i will be the first to hit that button!
Luckily for you, i am the queen Now, let's get f-ed up gentlemen!
I hate Justin bayber, will you thank me?
Sent from my SGH-T959 using XDA App
WTS thanks hitting. 1$ each. pm me
(kidding don't ban me)
But that doesn't help when you secretly have a crush on Rebecca Black. So no, i can't thank you yet.
BazookaAce said:
Luckily for you, i am the queen Now, let's get f-ed up gentlemen!
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Hear, hear!
Cheers!
Edit: Can i borrow a couple of your commonwealth countries for the weekend? Nothing important...perhaps Canada & Australia? I promise to return them in good condition!
If you have kids then you know what Im talking about.. Sorry loses its meaning very VERY fast... lol
Shift_Lock said:
If you have kids then you know what Im talking about.. Sorry loses its meaning very VERY fast... lol
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Lulz! So you feel like you're being played? Kids are masters at manipulation and will stop at nothing! The two 'angels' that i share a house with know exactly how to wrap me in knots.
Bless 'em. (They're not mine so i only have to digest them in bite sized chunks).
When i was younger i had terrible trouble admitting when i was wrong. I would defend my argument long after it had stopped being logical. I think that's common too. It stings the pride. I'm glad i'm not like that any more.
LOL! The 4 year old is the worst.. she runs her mom. her brother and her sister.. I try to keep it together... but damn... she knows all the tricks!
Shift_Lock said:
LOL! The 4 year old is the worst.. she runs her mom. her brother and her sister.. I try to keep it together... but damn... she knows all the tricks!
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The ones here are 4 (boy) and 5 (girl) and boy does she think she's the boss! My landlord is the most patient people person i've ever known, and is far too kind to be a disciplinarian, (he took me in after all), but she takes every advantage of the fact.
"Daughter of mine, you're going to bed soon so turn off that computer and go brush your teeth".
"No daddy, we don't go to bed at this time and i will play this some more, and then i will watch television for a while...", in the sweetest voice imaginable, as if she's explaining the way things are to a total idiot.
I love it! She always does what i ask her though.
They could be the most important words ever spoken to a person
Sent from my ADR6350 using xda premium

I did a stupid thing....

So this has absolutely nothing to do with Android or anything...
So me and my wife have been together since freshman year in high school we are now 27.. have a 7 year old and a 1 month old. I love her.. and would never cheat on her..
A week or so ago I got a message from a cute chick on facebook saying she wanted to be my friend. I asked her why she said because she thought i looked cute in my pictures. I told her she wasn't so bad looking and we had a kind of flirty conversation. I did however tell her about my wife and kids and we talked about things like where we live and what not.. noting more than a PG conversation..
IT NEVER WENT ANY FARTHER THAN THIS CONVERSATION AND ONLY ONCE...
So i left my FB page up and my wife snooped and read my messages.. she is now crying..
I do feel bad that she got her feelings hurt, but i don't really feel like i did anything wrong..
Let me know what you guys think about my mess i made... just curious about outside opinions..
Well, just tell her it was a mistake.
You were stupid and just liked the attention. It wasn't like you intended to cheat on her.
Think about how you would feel if you seen her doing that to you.
Nothing will gain you're trust back from her but time...
The above is very good advice.
This seems like a weird place to ask such a question, but what the hell, I'll give it a shot too.
Tell her you love her very much and that you would never, ever cheat on her. You have to be absolutely sincere about this and make yourself believe it even if you actually did think about cheating. Any doubt that you show she will pick up on now.
PS: I've never understood why everyone loves Facebook. I hate that ****.
shawayne21 said:
Well, just tell her it was a mistake.
You were stupid and just liked the attention. It wasn't like you intended to cheat on her.
Think about how you would feel if you seen her doing that to you.
Nothing will gain you're trust back from her but time...
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Thanks. Good advice
Haints said:
The above is very good advice.
This seems like a weird place to ask such a question, but what the hell, I'll give it a shot too.
Tell her you love her very much and that you would never, ever cheat on her. You have to be absolutely sincere about this and make yourself believe it even if you actually did think about cheating. Any doubt that you show she will pick up on now.
PS: Facebook sucks.
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I am sincere. I had no intentions of cheating..
LOL and i know but I am here alot you guys are like family and it seemed like a good place to get non objective view..
Its reasons like that me and my wife share a FB account. Full freaking transparency! Just tell her you got caught up for a minute because we all like to be flattered once in a while. I'm sure she has flirted at some point behind your back.
In times of great personal conflict and inner-turmoil with the ones I love, I also think of turning to an cell-phone internet message board of complete strangers for advice.
badaphooko01 said:
Its reasons like that me and my wife share a FB account. Full freaking transparency! Just tell her you got caught up for a minute because we all like to be flattered once in a while. I'm sure she has flirted at some point behind your back.
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+1 to this. My wife and I share one too and have the privacy set high. We orignally got it to "spy" on people but have since put some stuff on there. Agree also with the "everyone wants to feel special" once in awhile aspect too. I can garauntee that if you try hard enough, you can find some instance that she has flirted too, but why would you want to do that b/c you'll just end up over analyzing everything. Just say you are sorry.
Side story:
A long time ago (15+) before FB, G+ ot twitter, I used to work nights in college. I got home late one night and my girlfriend at the time was asleep. The phone rang and I used to have this habit of screwing with tele-marketers to hopefully piss them off enough to drop my number.
This time it was just a wrong number, but there was a shy, what sounded like a cute voice on the other line that apologized for calling the wrong number. Before she got off the phone, I asked her what she was wearing and messed with her a little bit, then hung up. Told my girlfriend in the morning about it and we laughed (full disclosure-sorry I'm honest like that).
Anyways this girl called back the next night too and this time my girlfriend was up and we totally messed with this girls head and got her to agree to meet for a 3-way (only problem was she didn't know my GF was on the phone so it was going to be with her and her boyfriend-I don't do two swords if you know what I mean).
Long story short, we completely messed with this girl and my phone company at the time had this feature that if right after you got an annoying call you could hit *57 and if you did it to the same number 3 times in one month, it got their phone shut off for a month for harassing.
If you can't or won't follow though woth something, don't chat with someone you don't know. For all you know, it could have been me on the other side of the Facebook message.
PJcastaldo said:
Thanks. Good advice
I am sincere. I had no intentions of cheating..
LOL and i know but I am here alot you guys are like family and it seemed like a good place to get non objective view..
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Yeah man, what you SHOULD do now, dont know if youre willing to do so, but you should just give her your facebook password. If you know youre not going to do anything like that again, she should be able to have it.
It will get a LOADDD off her shoulders knowing she doesnt have to sneak up on you, but rather look for herself at any time.
Hope everything goes well for you man. Just give it time.
FACEBOOK IS FULL OF PEOPLE YOU USED TO KNOW AND DONT WANT TO TALK TO, TWITTER IS FULL OF PEOPLE YOU DONT KNOW AND WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO..IMO,Hope everything works out,
hope everything is working out.
Im just a couple yrs older than you and have have been married about the same time, have 1 child also; so I can understand how this would be a really emotional situation for her and then you.
others gave good advice. be honest w her. tell her it was a mistake. let her look through all your other FB, email, ect... messages to prove to her that this was a one time semi-inocent situation.
even though you did nothing wrong, and maybe you did not, but put yourself in her situation. if you found that on her FB, you would probably be pretty pissed too (at least I would be).
so let her look at everything, give her your passwords, what ever you need to show her that this was a one time incident, that it was nothing more then casual chatting, but you understand that she is upset and you see how it looks now, you would be too in her situation, and that you wont do it again.
good luck
Online cheating is cheating.
I have a different opinion.
I think you should have never added her and never had any type of conversation with her. There is no reason a married man with children should be adding random females to his Facebook.
Secondly, you said you had no intention of cheating, but what about online cheating? What if she had asked you to get on Skype so she could give you a little show. Are you telling me you wouldn't go and watch and maybe join on Skype yourself?
That is my opinion. We live in a new world, and online relationships are a form of cheating in my opinion. You wouldn't sit with this girl at a coffee shop and chit chat, you shouldn't online either.
That's why I'm getting married till I'm like late 20's/early 30's
Hope it works out mate!
Sent from my T959 using xda premium
PJcastaldo said:
So this has absolutely nothing to do with Android or anything...
So me and my wife have been together since freshman year in high school we are now 27.. have a 7 year old and a 1 month old. I love her.. and would never cheat on her..
A week or so ago I got a message from a cute chick on facebook saying she wanted to be my friend. I asked her why she said because she thought i looked cute in my pictures. I told her she wasn't so bad looking and we had a kind of flirty conversation. I did however tell her about my wife and kids and we talked about things like where we live and what not.. noting more than a PG conversation..
IT NEVER WENT ANY FARTHER THAN THIS CONVERSATION AND ONLY ONCE...
So i left my FB page up and my wife snooped and read my messages.. she is now crying..
I do feel bad that she got her feelings hurt, but i don't really feel like i did anything wrong..
Let me know what you guys think about my mess i made... just curious about outside opinions..
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Tell her you love her AND that you were A COMPETE DUMBASS for having a meaningless, stupid convo. Then be good and don't do this AGAIN!
Sent from my HTC Sensation 4G using Tapatalk
One day I was at my girlfriend's house, her hot sister came to me and asked if I would like to sleep with her. I was shocked, and, as fast as I could, ran out of the house to my car. To my surprise my girlfriend was outside leaning against the car. She then said, "I knew I could trust you! ", then gave me a hug and told me she loved me.
Moral of the story?
Always keep your condoms in your car.
Wow, what a mess you've gotten yourself into.
If you haven't already, I think you need to first know and understand why your wife is upset.
After years of marriage, she certainly knows you as a person. If you're the type of person who doesn't cheat, she probably knows it. So it's not really a matter of "cheating".
It's a matter of loyalty and sense of security.
It's inevitable that people change over time. They're older, wiser, have different perspectives, etc. But the one thing that doesn't (ie, shouldn't) change is your commitment to your spouse.
when people first started dating, they think they're the perfect match for each other. After years of marriage you might:
-pack on some extra weight
-lose some hair
-no longer buy flowers for your wife
-no longer put up the toilet seat
-have different political views
-discover both of you have different tastes in music
-etc
But, damn it, she knows that at least she can confidently say "After all this time, my husband still loves me."
And if she has a bad day at work or if she just needs a hug, you're there for her. No matter what, you're suppose to have her back. You're her pillar to lean on. She might not need your support all the time, but she knows that if she does, you're there all the time, rock solid.
That "pillar" is what you've compromised here.
So when trying to make amends, don't focus on the FB chat. That's not the real issue at hand. Do what you need to do to let her know that you're still there for her.
TO YOUR WIFE :
plz forgive him, it's nothing, he's a loving husband if he's asking such a small thing here, that means he loves you alot.
Sent from my X8 using Tapatalk
DevStaffAndroid said:
Sent from my X8 using Tapatalk
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now THATS a helpful answer xD
Sent from my GT-S5570 using XDA App
Me and my GF had a three day fight cause I never changed my Facebook profile from "single" to "in a relationship", and she thinks she had it bad. Of cpurse her drama queen sister conviced her it was so i can cheat. I only log in once or twice a month and never thought to change it.
OP you guys should just delete all your Facebook profiles, its more trouble than it's worth, like the situation you got into.
Facebook is nothing but a gathering for information and statistics anyway.
Simply don't post stuff at all

My ex-girlfriend cheated on me. She is pregnant with my baby. FML.

Wow, so today I found out that my ex-girlfriend now, been messaging her ex-boyfriend telling him he misses her and loves her and wants to be with him behind my back. Let me remind you that she is pregnant with my kid. I read her google chat log and found out all different kind of messages. I was completely shocked and completely *****ed at her. I told her stup*d as* to pack up her sh!t and get the f*ck out of my house. To think I was going to marry her as*.
Wow that's harsh man. Sorry to hear it. If there was no kid involved I'd say you're lucky to have found out, but that's just wrong on the little one. What a role model Mummy's gonna be
Sorry to hear that also, I think you need to care about your child now. Try not to confront her or him, just don't give a crap for the well being of your child (that needs to be your primary focus from now on).
Cheers man and good luck.
Archer said:
Wow that's harsh man. Sorry to hear it. If there was no kid involved I'd say you're lucky to have found out, but that's just wrong on the little one. What a role model Mummy's gonna be
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Yeah, I really ended up with something huh.. Nice way to start off the New Years.. F*ck that b!tch!
UPDATE: She's calling me telling me sorry and how she doesnt want me to leave.. What a dumb b!tch. Seriously. I told her to get the f*ck out of my life and get her sh!t out. Tired of her bullsh!t.
Mr. Clown said:
Sorry to hear that also, I think you need to care about your child now. Try not to confront her or him, just don't give a crap for the well being of your child (that needs to be your primary focus from now on).
Cheers man and good luck.
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Archer said:
Wow that's harsh man. Sorry to hear it. If there was no kid involved I'd say you're lucky to have found out, but that's just wrong on the little one. What a role model Mummy's gonna be
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Thank you both for hearing me out. Really appreciate the comments. Its good to talk to someone about something awful like this.
Make sure you don't sign that birth certificate until you get DNA confirmation that it's your baby.
I have a friend that got trapped and is paying child support on a child that's not his because he signed (acknowledged) that the child was his.
Sent from my SPH-D710 using XDA App
Above&Beyond™ said:
Yeah, I really ended up with something huh.. Nice way to start off the New Years.. F*ck that b!tch!
UPDATE: She's calling me telling me sorry and how she doesnt want me to leave.. What a dumb b!tch. Seriously. I told her to get the f*ck out of my life and get her sh!t out. Tired of her bullsh!t.
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That's going to be a hard line to take if she's pregnant with your child... sounds like she might be a part of your life for good now, one way or the other. :/
Still, sorry to hear it bro.
Yeah, it's a tough situation all round. As said above, you are going to be involved in her life now for many, many years, so as Mr Clown said you need to forget your anger towards them because the little one is the most important thing.
Obviously, I agree with Android300ZX that a DNA test is a wise precaution.
Just one pertinent question: Are you sure it's your kid?
One thing to say: She's only sorry because she got caught. Ditch the b*tch bro, plenty of other chicks out there.
also MAKE SURE U RECORD everything when it come time to back what u need ex tv,couch,phone,printer,computer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkt7Dx_uK5Y SHE DA CHEATING HO*
Its cheaper to keep her. Eff child support. My dad had to go through it 7, yes that's right, SEVEN times.
-My life is a shooting range, people never change-
watt9493 said:
Its cheaper to keep her. Eff child support. My dad had to go through it 7, yes that's right, SEVEN times.
-My life is a shooting range, people never change-
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This statement really pisses me off. One of my employees always says it all the time. It is not about what option is less expensive...it is about what makes you both happy.
You both need to have a heart to heart and decide if you want to make things work or if it is best to separate ways. Take it from someone who was married for 6 years with someone who didnt seem like he wanted to be there...in the end, I was tired of being in love with a man that didn't seem to feel the same about me and we were divorced. Now I am a single mom and things are much better off.
Examine your relationship now before you get to involved. Your baby will be best with 2 parents who love each other, rather then 2 parents who only stay together for the kid.
I agree you should catalog everything that you had pre-relationship with her. It's not marriage but things can go south very fast. I also agree with who ever posted about not signing the birth certificate until you know 110% sure that the baby is yours. I had a girlfriend who was messing around with other guys behind my back when she got pregnant (found that out after we went through everything). Good luck bro
Damn... Sorry to hear that bro
Sent from my LG-P999 using xda premium
Hey man, altough you think this is the end of the world, it isn´t. Let your friends and family comfort you, that life goes on.
That will be a prolonged pain. Find time to spend totally away from her to heal.
I'm gonna go back on what I previously said, after thinking about it some more. We've all made mistakes - I've made tons of them! If you care enough about the girl to be planning a family and marriage with her then maybe it's worth at least seeing what happens.
It's easy for someone not in the situation to knee-jerk but what do we know about how you two really feel about each other? Nothing.
Just use this place to vent and see our responses, then ignore them all completely and do what's best for you, your misses and the little one. Just be honest and you can't go wrong.
I usually don't repeat myself but:
-Make sure you get a DNA test!
-A lot of females use that (I'm pregnant) against a guy to keep him. It may very well be true but be careful.
-Record everything! Make a backup on Gmail. I would use Google Voice and have Google Voice be your primary voicemail. If she calls you and leaves a voicemail it will get saved to Google Voice where you can download it to your desktop and keep it on file.
-Take most if not all the things she says to you with a grain of salt.
-Make sure you don't end up looking like the deadbeat that just picked up and left. They tend to make themselves look like the victim to their friends and family.
-If the child is yours take care of your business and appreciate them because they are pure.
-If you find it in your heart to forgive her make sure you really forgive her and not bring it up when you get into the occasional argument.
I have experience in this. My GF cheated on me twice. The first time she would go out with her "girls" (multiple instances of partying with her "girls" and coming back late in the AM) and I found out she was going out with a guy that I knew who was in our circle of friends. She would cut school and hang out with this guy all the while I was paying for her education. She doesn't work or hasn't in the 4 years we've been together because I took care of everything as a man. The second time I caught her was on her birthday when I came home early (unannounced) from work to surprise her and caught her leaving the neighbors house and overheard her on the phone discussing the events with her BFF. I couldn't forgive her because the thought of me seeing this guy's car every day and the fact that I know he's be laughing at me from behind the confines of his home taking me for a sucker. The only reason I haven't pummeled his face in is because of my daughter.
I have a kid with her and I still live with her but we are only together for the sake of my daughter. She graduates this month from school and will get a job in her field so we will sit down and discuss our arrangements and separation.
Just make sure you cover all your bases man.
*** Again, Do the DNA test!! Don't fall for that guilt trip she may put on your about you denying your child and not trusting her ***
They will use that against you and make you succumb to signing the certificate.
Hang in there man, it's tough. I think that you best pursue what's going to be the best for your son or daughter.
There is a test they can do for paternity during gestation, it determines gender among other things of the child, mostly done for at risk older mothers.
If in the end you find you are a father, ill tell you first hand (literally holding my Lil guy) its a feeling like no other. You've got to do what's best for your own, which will likely be to split. Your gf likely grew up on a household with a limited example of a father figure, and you certainly don't want your own kid to turn into the same type of person as her.
Yeah, DNA test seems good suggestion. Make sure wich base it came from. Also maybe ask for a ETA.
Oké, now go to Dr Phill or Jerry Springer. Last time i checked it was a technical forum.
Cheers

Help me please..

Me and my gf have a fight... i accidentally pushed her... but she said to her family i "hit" her... now her family hates me... i know i shouldn't have done it in the first place but i was mad on what she told me.. i lost control.. i shouldnt have done it.... i **** it up...
But again i just pused her?.. i didnt punch her.. if i punch her she be bleeding with black eyes... but no, i stop myself...
I still love her,, I'm hoping she will forgive me.... my parents said she should forgive me if she really loves me...i made a mistake and i won't do it again... but she's having a hard time believing me....
... i message her family and ask for forgiveness.... idk if they will forgive me.....
.. i just feel like my gf like someone new now and just using the "hit" alibi..... but i still love her and i dont wanna think that way... thats why im still tryng to fight for her..
Can you tell us more about the situation?
You aren't supposed to hit girls ever.
But the situation may turn out better for you based on what happened.
Sent from my SGH-T989 using xda premium
If you truly just pushed her, and that is not good, and she is running around saying you hit her , then kick her to the curb. She is psycho and will lie to get a desired result. And that is not something to lie about. Things will only get worse.
She told me " i dont know what i feel about you anymore".. "i dont wanna hurt your feelings".... thats why i lost my mind.. but i really didnt punch her or anythinh...
85gallon said:
If you truly just pushed her, and that is not good, and she is running around saying you hit her , then kick her to the curb. She is psycho and will lie to get a desired result. And that is not something to lie about. Things will only get worse.
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Thats the thing.. i dont get her anymore... i just really pushed her.. but again.. what she keeps telling people is i hit her.... and the reason i pushed her is because she was acting weird... she doesnt even listen to me anymore.. i told her that we can talk this out.. you dont need to talk to ur mom about this im already here...
Sent from my SGH-I777 using XDA
...she told me i control her too much.... she bought this wig and it doesnt look good on her and i told her stop wearing it... but she said all her friends say it looks good... but im just being honest.. she doesnt believe me..... wtf....
Sent from my SGH-I777 using XDA
how old are you? dude just leave her alone and act like you dont care and then she will trip out that you arent worried about it or she will just move on and not care! either way prob a good thing since she is acting funny. oh yea and have you seen how many girls are out there in the world find a new one!
Is "pushed" considered abuse or "hit".. ugghh... i just took all the blame... i didnt really hit her.. wtf..
... my parents find it hard to trust her.. her parent find it hard to trust me..... wtf should i do? Im asking forgiveness to her family and hope that they will..... i wanna still fight for this relationship...i dont wanna just throw everything away.....
Sent from my SGH-I777 using XDA
DustByte said:
...she told me i control her too much.... she bought this wig and it doesnt look good on her and i told her stop wearing it... but she said all her friends say it looks good... but im just being honest.. she doesnt believe me..... wtf....
Sent from my SGH-I777 using XDA
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Meh if she likes the wig and her friends like the wig let her wear it. If you feel she is not respecting your opinion and its making you angry maybe you should take a break and possibly meet other people and see how you feel after a couple of months. She sounds like she wants a break at the moment. Also I agree if she is going to lie about your altercation its probrobly better to try and move on as you probrobly can't trust her after future arguments
Sent from my HTC EVO 3D X515m using xda premium
fleurdelisxliv said:
how old are you? dude just leave her alone and act like you dont care and then she will trip out that you arent worried about it or she will just move on and not care! either way prob a good thing since she is acting funny. oh yea and have you seen how many girls are out there in the world find a new one!
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we are both 19... we've been together for 2 years...i jsut dont wanna throw it all away.... i tried acting i dont care but.. but ,, but ,,, but i fkkking love her...
DustByte said:
Is "pushed" considered abuse or "hit".. ugghh... i just took all the blame... i didnt really hit her.. wtf..
... my parents find it hard to trust her.. her parent find it hard to trust me..... wtf should i do? Im asking forgiveness to her family and hope that they will..... i wanna still fight for this relationship...i dont wanna just throw everything away.....
Sent from my SGH-I777 using XDA
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Pushing is legally considered assault most places. Cut your losses while you can.
hungry81 said:
Meh if she likes the wig and her friends like the wig let her wear it. If you feel she is not respecting your opinion and its making you angry maybe you should take a break and possibly meet other people and see how you feel after a couple of months. She sounds like she wants a break at the moment. Also I agree if she is going to lie about your altercation its probrobly better to try and move on as you probrobly can't trust her after future arguments
Sent from my HTC EVO 3D X515m using xda premium
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thats the thing.. i find it hard to trust her.. but again, i love her so much, and shes not like this before.... ugghhh...
i dotn want it to look that its her fault... we both made mistake, but she doesnt accept that she made a mistake too.. she always wanna be right.. i hate that... she not using ehr brain.. all shes using is her emotions.. wtf.....
,.... why everyone telling me to move on and theres a plenty of girl out there
i love her soo much.. omg.. fkk thss...
if her family cant forgive me, i guess thats the time to tell myself i need to move on...
85gallon said:
Pushing is legally considered assault most places. Cut your losses while you can.
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then i guess its all my fault... i messed this up?... ugghhh.. i just hate the way she acted...
she just started keeping secrets... writinng "pros" and "cons" about me... wtf...
Watch out for her man....my brother had a girlfriend who did pretty much the same thing.....after he gave up on her she lied even more about him because she still liked him......does your chick do drugs lol?
sent from my girlfriends bearded clam
I think maybe you should stop with the confessions to criminal acts online, actually all together, keep your hands to yourself, cut your losses, take an anger management class and find a new woman who performs sexual favors and not reality tv drama filled escalations of bad situations. You got lucky, she could have really messed your life up. And still may.
Sent from my SGH-I777 using XDA
Not to be rude but my last relationship started out by just pushing it also had controlling.. i stayed and in the seven years it turned into domestic violence by him.. it was the worst time of my life if you honestly love someone that much let them go if its meant to be itll be.. but you can never say you didnt mean to push hit or say things because its in you learning to control yourself and anger is the first thing i would recommend before allowing her or someone else in your life.. and any girl that wants the attention by lying is honestly just a little immature still and not worth it
Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using XDA
DustByte said:
She told me " i dont know what i feel about you anymore".. "i dont wanna hurt your feelings".... thats why i lost my mind.. but i really didnt punch her or anythinh...
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Click to collapse
Did no one else read this? There is nothing okay about getting physical with someone because he or she tells you about being unsure of how he or she feels about the relationship.
You need to give her some space, and you need to figure out what made you feel violence was the answer to her being honest with you. Some people might sugar coat this but that's how this kind of stuff keeps going on. You assaulted her and you need to realize that. There's something wrong with how you saw fit to handle the situation, and honestly it sounds like you are basing too much of who you are on the relationship. Nip this in the bud, now.
MissionImprobable said:
Did no one else read this? There is nothing okay about getting physical with someone because he or she tells you about being unsure of how he or she feels about the relationship.
You need to give her some space, and you need to figure out what made you feel violence was the answer to her being honest with you. Some people might sugar coat this but that's how this kind of stuff keeps going on. You assaulted her and you need to realize that. There's something wrong with how you saw fit to handle the situation, and honestly it sounds like you are basing too much of who you are on the relationship. Nip this in the bud, now.
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Click to collapse
i know its my fault? i realized that?..... but she leaves under our families' roof.. she said i control her? cause i keep asking where she goes? who she with?.. my family and i are just worried about her... but no she wants to live free..
... she got kicked out by her mom, no one in her family took her in.. my family did... they didnt like her at first but since i love her they let her in.....
she was hospitalized.. she called all her family members and no one came.. no one answered her call.... im the only one who sat right next to her....
now she have problems with me, she's bestfriend with her mom again?? she cant even talk about it to me? why? is that a relationship?
and now that i "pushed" her all her family is present to help her? now they support her? now they all hate me? now theyre here with her? wtf....wtf...
ScubaSteev said:
Watch out for her man....my brother had a girlfriend who did pretty much the same thing.....after he gave up on her she lied even more about him because she still liked him......does your chick do drugs lol?
sent from my girlfriends bearded clam
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Click to collapse
she doesnt do drugs...
@OP
Dude, whatever is going on with that girl and you, it sure ain't love. I haven't actually read a single word you've written that indicates you love her, just going on about how much you and your family have done for her.
She doesn't owe you anything and if she is having doubts about the relationship it is far better that she tells you than keeps it secret. When she told you, that was your opportunity to sit down with her, talk, tell her how you feel and try to work on things -.not to react the way you did or to blame her for her feelings.
Accept that it is probably over. Give her space, let her carry on living under your family's roof if she needs to and let her know that you are sorry, will be there as a friend if she needs it and will deal with the anger issues - professionally if you need to.
The way you reacted physically at 19 years old isn't just a sign of immaturity, it is a precursor to a much worse future - take that as advice from someone who has done time and seen / heard many things that would scare the crap out of you. Deal with your anger NOW before it deals with you.

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