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How many of you here get soo low sometimes you feel like popping your head of? Yeah am that low now. Any bright ideas to get me bubble again, please????
Whoa dude!
remember, after every night there is a morning, Whatever cr*p you have to go through, whatever hurdles you have to jump, trust in yourself.
Best advice I've ever recieved.
If you want someone to listen to all your problems, I'm all ears. Just don't consider rash decisions.....life's waay too precious/
Thanks Buddy
Merlin_reloaded said:
remember, after every night there is a morning, Whatever cr*p you have to go through, whatever hurdles you have to jump, trust in yourself.
Best advice I've ever recieved.
If you want someone to listen to all your problems, I'm all ears. Just don't consider rash decisions.....life's waay too precious/
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What can i say???? Thank you. Simple words but believe me you made me feel alot better. I mean that. Thank you
and
u can also think about people who go through alot more a day then urself. I just joined the Army and just finished basic training 3 weeks ago, and now go to AIT to become a Information Systems Specialist. My schedule is crazy and I barely have time for myself, but I just keep my head up and look to my battle buddies for morale boosts.
Anytime
Glad to be of help/
Think...
Think about the people in life who matter. If they're the problem then think about... your phone.
My best friend completed suicide 4 years ago. It was devastating!!! The fact that you are here asking, is a good thing. I honestly would urge you to call a hotline the next time you get the blues so bad you feel this way. Suicide is a permanant solution to a temporary problem, and those left behind will never understand why...they will always be left with a hole in their hearts. Trust me on this fact. While it often seems as if it is only you, it isn't. I can guarantee that folks care about you, and that you aren't alone...so go to those folks, or as I mentioned before call a hotline. There is a line in Gone With the Wind..."after all, tomorrow is another day"...you make it dark or sunny, hopefully you will choose to make it sunny.
I hope whatever has you down passes quickly.
You know, i can identify with you man... Life gets ****ty and the past 2 months for me have been the worst, and in all honesty i cant say that i havent had the same thoughts... But i could never do it, i have 2 young daughters and 2 young step daughters that i love more than anything... And i hate to sound like i play favorites, but my 2 yr old means more to me than anything and i couldnt imagine possibly leaving her, if there is one thing that brings me back to this world and reality its her... Moral of my story, there has to be something that will center you and bring you back, think about it
Been there bro...
Been there too... 3 and 6 yr old boys and fantastic wife keep me going.
Check out St. Johns Wart. It really helps me out when Im feeling blue and has little side effects. It has been used extensively in Germany and Europe for years.
I agree with everyone else... There is always tomorrow and it will be a better day.
Cheers.
It would also be a good idea for you to start going to the gym.
Weight lifting has helped me trough some bad times in my life.
It's amaizing how much can a little phisical activity help you.
Go and try it, if nothing else you will at least blow off some steam.
moral of the story is find something to do, something to keep your mind busy, tomorrow is a different day, it cant rain all the time
Exercise...
Try a recumbent bike...
http://www.sunbicycles.com/sun/recumbents.htm
Just come to the usual forum..
Knew my gf in freshmen year of college, have been in relationship since..
we actually rented an apartment and lived together for ~4 years already..
now she needs to work far away while I stay for the last semester.. she told me I'm more like her family member than a bf, and she wants a passionate relationship..
and now she's about to be gone.. Its just too hard for me now..
Sorry to rip you guys day...
Well, it's going to hurt for a long time... but it will not kill you. Good luck.
of cause I know... and of cause I know this post is just immature... but its just difficult. But I would rather prefer a reason not like this one..
thought I really found a soul mate, but guess its not what I thought..
Welcome to the club, I broke up a 11 yr couple a few months ago....
aqw955 said:
Just come to the usual forum..
Knew my gf in freshmen year of college, have been in relationship since..
we actually rented an apartment and lived together for ~4 years already..
now she needs to work far away while I stay for the last semester.. she told me I'm more like her family member than a bf, and she wants a passionate relationship..
and now she's about to be gone.. Its just too hard for me now..
Sorry to rip you guys day...
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I've been there. Didn't think I'd ever get over her.. luckily I had some good friends to lean on and hang out with. You should do the same, bro.
orb3000 said:
Welcome to the club, I broke up a 11 yr couple a few months ago....
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wow! that's like marriage already.
Sent from my SGH-T959 using XDA App
ericc191 said:
I've been there. Didn't think I'd ever get over her.. luckily I had some good friends to lean on and hang out with. You should do the same, bro.
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+1
We have a song in our country that says "Ο έρωτας με έρωτα περνάει" (love goes away with another love). Go out with the most braindamaged friends you got meet other people get drunk get arrested do anything just dont let it eat your insides
Well, I just broke up with my girlfriend last week...
well... depends on the faith you put in..
Shes dong you a favor. Instead of continuing with a broken relationship and leading you on, she ended it.
You are young, and if you experience more of life then youll know more of what you want and dont want.
She does not deserve you if she didn't/doesn't realize what you have/had together. Some people are blind to, what is right in front of them.
I didn't write that. Prove it!!!
Me and my girlfriend of 3 years broke up 3 months ago, she was a cheating whore. I'm still semi broken up about it cause I actually did love her. But you gotta be strong and move on, focus on yourself and you will do great things with your life.
Sent from my HERO200 using XDA Premium App
Thanks guys.. your words and the wheel of time is the only cure as from now.
Guess I am just perceptual.. Thought I can do something for her at the end, but still I just couldn't do a single one.. We will both miss each other for our memories and importance, I ensure, things just didn't work out at the moment..
Given I lived 1/4+ of my life already, my purpose is still far from being reached.
much to learn son.. much to...
KyleBryant said:
Me and my girlfriend of 3 years broke up 3 months ago, she was a cheating whore. I'm still semi broken up about it cause I actually did love her. But you gotta be strong and move on, focus on yourself and you will do great things with your life.
Sent from my HERO200 using XDA Premium App
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Cheating.. one of the most evil practices of humans.. This large brain enclosed in us gave us the ability to considerate, to control..
btw, its a valid reason for you to really forget her.. love really requires more..
Babydoll25 said:
She does not deserve you if she didn't/doesn't realize what you have/had together. Some people are blind to, what is right in front of them.
I didn't write that. Prove it!!!
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First half.. not quite, she gave me the chance 4 years ago, I just didn't really do my best, just not enough... Second half.. yah.. we all did that at some point..
me too
I was in a relationship with my girl friend for 3 years and she broke up with me . . . she told me that she just didn't feel the same that I was more of family as well . . . this was a few months ago and it still hurts . . . but life moves on right
And what about me....? I talked to her I liked her and she said "u are just a good friend"....
Sent from my Desire HD
love is just dragging between lives. We just couldn't escape this.
Be graceful for what had been precious the most.
Regret only occur when you lost it, so does cherish...
Keep your head up! Stay confident, reassure yourself that you deserve better (or can get better), and spend time with friends!
Of course, time heals all wounds.
Man what a weekend. I've been working my ass off trying to become a better criminal and almost got caught this weekend. I'm slipping. I'm making mistakes I would have never made before. Like last night. I didn't scout the house correctly. Turns out there was a dog! The thing started barking and then woke up the owner.
Here's the thing I couldn't believe. The guy left the back door open! Wow. I was able to just get right in and get right out.
Anyways, on to the reason I've made this thread. Are there some good criminal apps? I want something like a watch out app. It would let me know when people are moving around me. Also I'd like an app that just gave general tips when you get in to sticky situations in someones house.
I'm beginning to research into all this as we speak but this is unfamiliar territory for me. I'm a tech Guy like you but criminal activity has never been an interest till now. If you have anything to offer as far as what to get, what to do, and what not to do it will be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
No one is going to help you.
Yes I understand that this is a joke.
Sent from my LG Optimus V using Tapatalk
I'd like to commission you for a theft. Could you possibly steal the thread that you are mocking and put it in a more appropriate section?
Lol. Thanks for the laugh!
So this has absolutely nothing to do with Android or anything...
So me and my wife have been together since freshman year in high school we are now 27.. have a 7 year old and a 1 month old. I love her.. and would never cheat on her..
A week or so ago I got a message from a cute chick on facebook saying she wanted to be my friend. I asked her why she said because she thought i looked cute in my pictures. I told her she wasn't so bad looking and we had a kind of flirty conversation. I did however tell her about my wife and kids and we talked about things like where we live and what not.. noting more than a PG conversation..
IT NEVER WENT ANY FARTHER THAN THIS CONVERSATION AND ONLY ONCE...
So i left my FB page up and my wife snooped and read my messages.. she is now crying..
I do feel bad that she got her feelings hurt, but i don't really feel like i did anything wrong..
Let me know what you guys think about my mess i made... just curious about outside opinions..
Well, just tell her it was a mistake.
You were stupid and just liked the attention. It wasn't like you intended to cheat on her.
Think about how you would feel if you seen her doing that to you.
Nothing will gain you're trust back from her but time...
The above is very good advice.
This seems like a weird place to ask such a question, but what the hell, I'll give it a shot too.
Tell her you love her very much and that you would never, ever cheat on her. You have to be absolutely sincere about this and make yourself believe it even if you actually did think about cheating. Any doubt that you show she will pick up on now.
PS: I've never understood why everyone loves Facebook. I hate that ****.
shawayne21 said:
Well, just tell her it was a mistake.
You were stupid and just liked the attention. It wasn't like you intended to cheat on her.
Think about how you would feel if you seen her doing that to you.
Nothing will gain you're trust back from her but time...
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Thanks. Good advice
Haints said:
The above is very good advice.
This seems like a weird place to ask such a question, but what the hell, I'll give it a shot too.
Tell her you love her very much and that you would never, ever cheat on her. You have to be absolutely sincere about this and make yourself believe it even if you actually did think about cheating. Any doubt that you show she will pick up on now.
PS: Facebook sucks.
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I am sincere. I had no intentions of cheating..
LOL and i know but I am here alot you guys are like family and it seemed like a good place to get non objective view..
Its reasons like that me and my wife share a FB account. Full freaking transparency! Just tell her you got caught up for a minute because we all like to be flattered once in a while. I'm sure she has flirted at some point behind your back.
In times of great personal conflict and inner-turmoil with the ones I love, I also think of turning to an cell-phone internet message board of complete strangers for advice.
badaphooko01 said:
Its reasons like that me and my wife share a FB account. Full freaking transparency! Just tell her you got caught up for a minute because we all like to be flattered once in a while. I'm sure she has flirted at some point behind your back.
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+1 to this. My wife and I share one too and have the privacy set high. We orignally got it to "spy" on people but have since put some stuff on there. Agree also with the "everyone wants to feel special" once in awhile aspect too. I can garauntee that if you try hard enough, you can find some instance that she has flirted too, but why would you want to do that b/c you'll just end up over analyzing everything. Just say you are sorry.
Side story:
A long time ago (15+) before FB, G+ ot twitter, I used to work nights in college. I got home late one night and my girlfriend at the time was asleep. The phone rang and I used to have this habit of screwing with tele-marketers to hopefully piss them off enough to drop my number.
This time it was just a wrong number, but there was a shy, what sounded like a cute voice on the other line that apologized for calling the wrong number. Before she got off the phone, I asked her what she was wearing and messed with her a little bit, then hung up. Told my girlfriend in the morning about it and we laughed (full disclosure-sorry I'm honest like that).
Anyways this girl called back the next night too and this time my girlfriend was up and we totally messed with this girls head and got her to agree to meet for a 3-way (only problem was she didn't know my GF was on the phone so it was going to be with her and her boyfriend-I don't do two swords if you know what I mean).
Long story short, we completely messed with this girl and my phone company at the time had this feature that if right after you got an annoying call you could hit *57 and if you did it to the same number 3 times in one month, it got their phone shut off for a month for harassing.
If you can't or won't follow though woth something, don't chat with someone you don't know. For all you know, it could have been me on the other side of the Facebook message.
PJcastaldo said:
Thanks. Good advice
I am sincere. I had no intentions of cheating..
LOL and i know but I am here alot you guys are like family and it seemed like a good place to get non objective view..
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Yeah man, what you SHOULD do now, dont know if youre willing to do so, but you should just give her your facebook password. If you know youre not going to do anything like that again, she should be able to have it.
It will get a LOADDD off her shoulders knowing she doesnt have to sneak up on you, but rather look for herself at any time.
Hope everything goes well for you man. Just give it time.
FACEBOOK IS FULL OF PEOPLE YOU USED TO KNOW AND DONT WANT TO TALK TO, TWITTER IS FULL OF PEOPLE YOU DONT KNOW AND WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO..IMO,Hope everything works out,
hope everything is working out.
Im just a couple yrs older than you and have have been married about the same time, have 1 child also; so I can understand how this would be a really emotional situation for her and then you.
others gave good advice. be honest w her. tell her it was a mistake. let her look through all your other FB, email, ect... messages to prove to her that this was a one time semi-inocent situation.
even though you did nothing wrong, and maybe you did not, but put yourself in her situation. if you found that on her FB, you would probably be pretty pissed too (at least I would be).
so let her look at everything, give her your passwords, what ever you need to show her that this was a one time incident, that it was nothing more then casual chatting, but you understand that she is upset and you see how it looks now, you would be too in her situation, and that you wont do it again.
good luck
Online cheating is cheating.
I have a different opinion.
I think you should have never added her and never had any type of conversation with her. There is no reason a married man with children should be adding random females to his Facebook.
Secondly, you said you had no intention of cheating, but what about online cheating? What if she had asked you to get on Skype so she could give you a little show. Are you telling me you wouldn't go and watch and maybe join on Skype yourself?
That is my opinion. We live in a new world, and online relationships are a form of cheating in my opinion. You wouldn't sit with this girl at a coffee shop and chit chat, you shouldn't online either.
That's why I'm getting married till I'm like late 20's/early 30's
Hope it works out mate!
Sent from my T959 using xda premium
PJcastaldo said:
So this has absolutely nothing to do with Android or anything...
So me and my wife have been together since freshman year in high school we are now 27.. have a 7 year old and a 1 month old. I love her.. and would never cheat on her..
A week or so ago I got a message from a cute chick on facebook saying she wanted to be my friend. I asked her why she said because she thought i looked cute in my pictures. I told her she wasn't so bad looking and we had a kind of flirty conversation. I did however tell her about my wife and kids and we talked about things like where we live and what not.. noting more than a PG conversation..
IT NEVER WENT ANY FARTHER THAN THIS CONVERSATION AND ONLY ONCE...
So i left my FB page up and my wife snooped and read my messages.. she is now crying..
I do feel bad that she got her feelings hurt, but i don't really feel like i did anything wrong..
Let me know what you guys think about my mess i made... just curious about outside opinions..
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Tell her you love her AND that you were A COMPETE DUMBASS for having a meaningless, stupid convo. Then be good and don't do this AGAIN!
Sent from my HTC Sensation 4G using Tapatalk
One day I was at my girlfriend's house, her hot sister came to me and asked if I would like to sleep with her. I was shocked, and, as fast as I could, ran out of the house to my car. To my surprise my girlfriend was outside leaning against the car. She then said, "I knew I could trust you! ", then gave me a hug and told me she loved me.
Moral of the story?
Always keep your condoms in your car.
Wow, what a mess you've gotten yourself into.
If you haven't already, I think you need to first know and understand why your wife is upset.
After years of marriage, she certainly knows you as a person. If you're the type of person who doesn't cheat, she probably knows it. So it's not really a matter of "cheating".
It's a matter of loyalty and sense of security.
It's inevitable that people change over time. They're older, wiser, have different perspectives, etc. But the one thing that doesn't (ie, shouldn't) change is your commitment to your spouse.
when people first started dating, they think they're the perfect match for each other. After years of marriage you might:
-pack on some extra weight
-lose some hair
-no longer buy flowers for your wife
-no longer put up the toilet seat
-have different political views
-discover both of you have different tastes in music
-etc
But, damn it, she knows that at least she can confidently say "After all this time, my husband still loves me."
And if she has a bad day at work or if she just needs a hug, you're there for her. No matter what, you're suppose to have her back. You're her pillar to lean on. She might not need your support all the time, but she knows that if she does, you're there all the time, rock solid.
That "pillar" is what you've compromised here.
So when trying to make amends, don't focus on the FB chat. That's not the real issue at hand. Do what you need to do to let her know that you're still there for her.
TO YOUR WIFE :
plz forgive him, it's nothing, he's a loving husband if he's asking such a small thing here, that means he loves you alot.
Sent from my X8 using Tapatalk
DevStaffAndroid said:
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now THATS a helpful answer xD
Sent from my GT-S5570 using XDA App
Me and my GF had a three day fight cause I never changed my Facebook profile from "single" to "in a relationship", and she thinks she had it bad. Of cpurse her drama queen sister conviced her it was so i can cheat. I only log in once or twice a month and never thought to change it.
OP you guys should just delete all your Facebook profiles, its more trouble than it's worth, like the situation you got into.
Facebook is nothing but a gathering for information and statistics anyway.
Simply don't post stuff at all
I asked my person of interest for the first time in my life. We met in a group discussion which went for 2 weeks and I had a liking for her from 1 month ago. When I asked, she was nice about it and said no and that we should stay friends. I shrugged it off and said OK, thanks for being nice.
The problem is that, I can't think of anything else now, I know that the world isn't ending just because 1 person rejected me. However I can not stop myself and it is turning me into a depressed wreck. How do you guys deal with it? What is your story?
Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk 2
Every experience with a person of the opposite sex, whether friendship or romance, is a lesson to learn to prepare you for meaningful relationships later, such as marriage. Learn from it and move on. Remember, being friends with girls is good, because they have other friends who are girls, and may try to hook you up.
Excreted from my Nexus 5
[Guide] Headphone/Earphone Buying
You've had a strong mating reaction to a member of the opposite sex. Your body has released a flood of dopamine into your brain so you will feel vaguely sick and your appetite will be suppressed.
I suggest playing Counter Strike for twelve hours a day until your brain functions return to normal.
I find distraction is the best reaction in this situation your mind will get over it with time, and not much else. So keep yourself busy while you wait! Play some games you've not played in a long time, (like counter strike as suggested above ), or do you have any android projects you have always wanted to try like making a custom Rom, or beta test some non stable roms for some devs, I also recommend going for a long walk. It sounds to simple to make any difference but a long walk can give your mind a chance to rattle things out and come to terms with things lastly your right, the worlds not going to end for some girl, so don't beat yourself up about it your only human and we have good and bad experiences, just be glad that ones over
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DirkGently said:
You've had a strong mating reaction to a member of the opposite sex. Your body has released a flood of dopamine into your brain so you will feel vaguely sick and your appetite will be suppressed.
I suggest playing Counter Strike for twelve hours a day until your brain functions return to normal.
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Listen to this man, he is wise beyond his years. I'm 34, and have had my share of rejection. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you will get over it. Just concentrate on you for the time being.
Sent from my GT-I9505G using Tapatalk
When a study about love was carried out, scientists put subjects in an MRI scanner and looked to see what was going. They would show the subjects pictures of somebody they loved to see which areas of the brain were activated and then show them pictures of somebody they hated. The same areas of the brain were activated in both cases.
Right now you're suffering because of feelings of love for this girl, but when you start to hate her for rejecting you, the feelings that you have, and the reaction your brain has to it will be exactly the same. Either way it's angst and despair.
Love=Hate. Get your head around that!
DirkGently said:
When a study about love was carried out, scientists put subjects in an MRI scanner and looked to see what was going. They would show the subjects pictures of somebody they loved to see which areas of the brain were activated and then show them pictures of somebody they hated. The same areas of the brain were activated in both cases.
Right now you're suffering because of feelings of love for this girl, but when you start to hate her for rejecting you, the feelings that you have, and the reaction your brain has to it will be exactly the same. Either way it's angst and despair.
Love=Hate. Get your head around that!
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Huh, explains why I hate my wife sometimes.
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LoopDoGG79 said:
Huh, explains why I hate my wife sometimes.
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Now would be a good time to clear your Browser history!
DirkGently said:
Now would be a good time to clear your Browser history!
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That's what incognito mode is for.
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LoopDoGG79 said:
That's what incognito mode is for.
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The OP did ask how people here deal with rejection, so perhaps one of you married guys could answer that? My understanding is that wives say no all the time! :laugh:
The tried and true method would be Alcohol of course. That's what guys usually turn to at these difficult times. To find out how that works, it's best to imagine the alcohol as Pac-Man running through your arteries, chomping away at all the nasty hormones until it's cleared all the levels. Once you're good and drunk all the hormones are gone, leaving you with a strange urge to eat a greasy lamb kebab, and a minging headache in the morning.
DirkGently said:
The OP did ask how people here deal with rejection, so perhaps one of you married guys could answer that? My understanding is that wives say no all the time! :laugh:
The tried and true method would be Alcohol of course. That's what guys usually turn to at these difficult times. To find out how that works, it's best to imagine the alcohol as Pac-Man running through your arteries, chomping away at all the nasty hormones until it's cleared all the levels. Once you're good and drunk all the hormones are gone, leaving you with a strange urge to eat a greasy lamb kebab, and a minging headache in the morning.
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I prefer to let her drink alcohol, and much away at her hormones, and hopefully get her to stop rejecting me. Of course, it could backfire depending on the time of the month and poor choice of words or actions on your part, which of course you know you did a week later in some random argument... You know what, a beer sounds good right now.....
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Time *will* make it easier. Think back to anything else in your life that brought you down, from simple things like not being able to buy that brand new game you wanted because you didn't have enough cash, right through to the more serious things in life, like losing friends and/or family and suffering grief. Think about those things and how it felt like you'd never get over them (depending on the seriousness of whatever it is you're thinking of), and then think about how you feel about it now. You'll realise that things just do get better over time.
Incidentally, I personally wouldn't take the advice to drink through it. Alcohol lowers certain chemical levels in the brain for days after that regulate how you feel. You can do yourself serious damage that way and turn a temporary problem into clinical depression, not to mention the fact that relying on alcohol for anything is a recipe for disaster.
Hidden Username said:
I asked my person of interest for the first time in my life. We met in a group discussion which went for 2 weeks and I had a liking for her from 1 month ago. When I asked, she was nice about it and said no and that we should stay friends. I shrugged it off and said OK, thanks for being nice.
The problem is that, I can't think of anything else now, I know that the world isn't ending just because 1 person rejected me. However I can not stop myself and it is turning me into a depressed wreck. How do you guys deal with it? What is your story?
Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk 2
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What is the real reason behind your depression
1- You were rejected
2- You cant be with her anymore, and i am pretty sure you can't be friends
Archer said:
Incidentally, I personally wouldn't take the advice to drink through it...
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Hey, men have been drinking because of women since the dawn of time. It's why we invented the pub!
The OP isn't 'depressed', he has a sad.
DirkGently said:
Hey, men have been drinking because of women since the dawn of time. It's why we invented the pub!
The OP isn't 'depressed', he has a sad.
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I know what you're saying, and I wasn't trying to be heavy or down on what you said, but without moderation it *can* become depression with the addition of alcohol, over long term. A few nights cutting loose is obviously a totally different thing though.
I've personally known people start off just a bit low and end up fully depressed because of alcohol. It's unfortunately a very slippery slope as it *does* make you feel better when you're drinking, but leaves you lower than you started for a few days afterwards, which can lead to another drink because, "Hey, it worked last time, right?" And rinse and repeat. Sad becomes depressed becomes clinically depressed, and that can last for life if not treated correctly.
Anyway, this is far too heavy and now I'm having a sad. There's always the old adage, that the easiest way to get over someone is to get under someone else
Archer said:
There's always the old adage, that the easiest way to get over someone is to get under someone else
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And with that the OP gets the best solution to his problem! :good:
I wouldn't seriously encourage anyone to drink to resolve issues. I'm a teetotaller myself so i find crying into my cornflakes works best for me when i'm blue, or going down the gym and pumping iron for an hour or two. We'll go with the latter one as it sounds more manly!
m1l4droid said:
Huh, I've never experienced rejection. Because I've never tried!
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He who dares wins Milad, he who dares wins. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Alcohol is a short term solution, and has long terms impact.
I would recommend you to just stay busy, go out hang out. Play games( yes it does work)
dont rely on alcohol.
m1l4droid said:
Believe it or not, this Tuesday, in a social gathering at my university, a girl approached and talked to me. I didn't get her number in the end though. It was getting awkward when I said 'I should be going' and left for home. But it was the first of many things for me.
Sent from my Slimmed Galaxy S3 GT-I9300
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Practice makes perfect. With a little more practice you'll be getting girls' numbers, then their address...oh wait. :what:
Yeah, I've been there but at least this girl of yours was nice about it and told you politely and even wanted to remain friends. The girl I fell for just ignored me completely and blocked me on all social media . My advice ? Go out with your mates. Hit the gym. Spend time with the family. Take up a new hobby. Video game a little. Just do something to take your mind off her . It's the holidays, cheer up