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Someone who CC's your boss on every e-mail

There’s this guy at work and nearly every time he e-mails me, he CC’s my supervisor.
It’s really annoying because that leads to my supervisor getting involved in things that really are none of his concern.
My supervisor is already a micromanager and very reactionary (always assumes that if he's being asked about something that someone's not doing their job)
Also the guy who's doing this is one of those people who loves to get involved in other people's projects and pretend to be a part of them, so that leads to people going to him for status updates instead of me.
Any advice on getting him to stop in a diplomatic way without it pissing them off or putting him in a position to want to "step it up" and get back at me?

Stonent said:
There’s this guy at work and nearly every time he e-mails me, he CC’s my supervisor.
It’s really annoying because that leads to my supervisor getting involved in things that really are none of his concern.
My supervisor is already a micromanager and very reactionary (always assumes that if he's being asked about something that someone's not doing their job)
Also the guy who's doing this is one of those people who loves to get involved in other people's projects and pretend to be a part of them, so that leads to people going to him for status updates instead of me.
Any advice on getting him to stop in a diplomatic way without it pissing them off or putting him in a position to want to "step it up" and get back at me?
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Send him an e-mail that'll be very embarassing to CC all over the place.
Actually, these kind of people are quite dangerous, because they like to keep their backs covered. So be careful.
One thing I'd like to find out is, ultimately, what is the gripe? Is the CC annoying you, or the CC annoying your boss and then your boss annoys you? Finding out the root cause of a problem instead of treating the symptoms will be way better.

FIght him like a man, next to the water cooler

jaszek said:
FIght him like a man, next to the water cooler
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Psh... real men fight with keyboards. May the man with the heaviest (1982-circa clickety keyboard) wins!

Spill coffee in his workstation so his computer dies a slow smoking death. Then take everything in his cube and freeze it in jello. Then put pictures of a small penis in the womens restrooms with his name all over it.

pm me his and your boss email, ill email him gayporn and cc your boss

kdj67f said:
Spill coffee in his workstation so his computer dies a slow smoking death. Then take everything in his cube and freeze it in jello. Then put pictures of a small penis in the womens restrooms with his name all over it.
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Y'know... I'd pay good money (ok, at least a buck or two) to see that.
Seriously, the dude's a loser and a trouble maker (as has been said up-thread). My advice would be to either completely cut him out of the process (death by starvation) or go further up the chain of command with materials and documentation and complain (death from above). Remember, there comes a point where the job isn't worth the hassle and frustration.

I had similar problem.
My boss is female. My colleague is male and trying to make his mark. I have one day every week when I work from a different office. He waits till I'm not around to ***** about me with her. I am more senior and better at the job. Even though she trusts me implicitly, it still annoys me that the guy is behaving like a little prick. He asks to have days off in the most busy times and only asks her when I'm not around; as if I would say no! I can cope with the work on my own and nobody asks him for anything if I'm around.
When he's done the *****ing thing 3 times I've blown my top with the two of them, collected some reports on all the works I've done and threatened to leave. They would/could not get anyone cheaper and with the same level of knowledge and control. The emails stopped and now, as long as he does not mess the work too much, I cannot care less what he does. I do my work and **** a snoot at the rest.
Cheers!

Unplug all the fans but a couple from his PC so it dies a slow painful death

He is probably a sociopath. These people are all around us. They're completely functional and often successful. They're not psychopaths, they won't start killing people. But they have no regard for the feelings and troubles of others. They will lie, cheat, manipulate their way to the top by any means necessary. Thats who you're probably dealing with. (There was this GREAT article by a big name psychiatrist on workspace sociopaths on reddit a while back but I can't find it, sorry)
Now, I've learned through experience that these people exploit the **** out of "diplomacy". They take advantage of the fact that you don't want to make a big thing out of this, they KNOW you wan't to keep a low profile and they exploit that weakness to bully you. Dealing with bullies is easy. Just walk up to him and tell him to stop. Flat out, plain and simple stop. Let him know crystal clear that you know what he's doing and you want him to stop. No diplomacy.
You could also fight fire with fire.
This will have repercussions ofcourse. It might mean going into a stupid office politics "war" with the guy. So think about it and choose whats right for your particular situation. But keep in mind that these abuses tend to increase and it will get to a point that it will make your worklife miserable. Its best to deal with it early and make the ****er know that it will cost him to **** with you and he better go find someone else.
OR I could be wrong and the guy is just advocating for transparency in the company (Doubt it. He only CCs your boss, not others.)

I say find him after work and beat his ass. Then pretend nothing happened when you are at work.

Definitely an option. But be very careful cause its really ****ing illegal >_>

With personal experience the proper way to handle hostile problems is to report it to management and human resources. But keep in mind that you also have to work with these people to so cool down before you say something that makes you look like the ass.
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My boss always CC's his goddamn boss when he emails me. Grinds my gears
Sent from the fireproof HTC Inspire 4G

natious said:
pm me his and your boss email, ill email him gayporn and cc your boss
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one and only real(and legal) solution , invite to gay clubs too just to "hang out"
also , do it while pretending to be a colleague sending from home address , keep doing till he stops

natious said:
pm me his and your boss email, ill email him gayporn and cc your boss
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This made my weekend.
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I know these types of people all too well. Having dealt with some myself. these people are not top be trusted, they can't wait to pull the rug right under your feet. They want to get ahead by making you look bad. My advice to you is to speak with him directly and ask him why he is doing it and tell him it makes you feel uncomfortable. As he can't be trusted he may have moved to bcc your boss instead, so you should voiced your concern with your boss as well. You must cover your ass at all times with this guy. So document anything important concerning him and always answer his emails as if your boss may be in bcc and don't take any **** attempt from him to make you look bad especially via email and answer him to set the record straight, r this is party of documenting.
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A dark alley. A late night event. A mindless ass-kicking.
It could be fun.

SciFiSurfer said:
A dark alley. A late night event.
It could be fun.
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See? Thats what happens when a passive agressive sociopath makes the big mistake of ****ing with a psychopath.

I did a stupid thing....

So this has absolutely nothing to do with Android or anything...
So me and my wife have been together since freshman year in high school we are now 27.. have a 7 year old and a 1 month old. I love her.. and would never cheat on her..
A week or so ago I got a message from a cute chick on facebook saying she wanted to be my friend. I asked her why she said because she thought i looked cute in my pictures. I told her she wasn't so bad looking and we had a kind of flirty conversation. I did however tell her about my wife and kids and we talked about things like where we live and what not.. noting more than a PG conversation..
IT NEVER WENT ANY FARTHER THAN THIS CONVERSATION AND ONLY ONCE...
So i left my FB page up and my wife snooped and read my messages.. she is now crying..
I do feel bad that she got her feelings hurt, but i don't really feel like i did anything wrong..
Let me know what you guys think about my mess i made... just curious about outside opinions..

Well, just tell her it was a mistake.
You were stupid and just liked the attention. It wasn't like you intended to cheat on her.
Think about how you would feel if you seen her doing that to you.
Nothing will gain you're trust back from her but time...

The above is very good advice.
This seems like a weird place to ask such a question, but what the hell, I'll give it a shot too.
Tell her you love her very much and that you would never, ever cheat on her. You have to be absolutely sincere about this and make yourself believe it even if you actually did think about cheating. Any doubt that you show she will pick up on now.
PS: I've never understood why everyone loves Facebook. I hate that ****.

shawayne21 said:
Well, just tell her it was a mistake.
You were stupid and just liked the attention. It wasn't like you intended to cheat on her.
Think about how you would feel if you seen her doing that to you.
Nothing will gain you're trust back from her but time...
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Thanks. Good advice
Haints said:
The above is very good advice.
This seems like a weird place to ask such a question, but what the hell, I'll give it a shot too.
Tell her you love her very much and that you would never, ever cheat on her. You have to be absolutely sincere about this and make yourself believe it even if you actually did think about cheating. Any doubt that you show she will pick up on now.
PS: Facebook sucks.
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I am sincere. I had no intentions of cheating..
LOL and i know but I am here alot you guys are like family and it seemed like a good place to get non objective view..

Its reasons like that me and my wife share a FB account. Full freaking transparency! Just tell her you got caught up for a minute because we all like to be flattered once in a while. I'm sure she has flirted at some point behind your back.

In times of great personal conflict and inner-turmoil with the ones I love, I also think of turning to an cell-phone internet message board of complete strangers for advice.

badaphooko01 said:
Its reasons like that me and my wife share a FB account. Full freaking transparency! Just tell her you got caught up for a minute because we all like to be flattered once in a while. I'm sure she has flirted at some point behind your back.
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+1 to this. My wife and I share one too and have the privacy set high. We orignally got it to "spy" on people but have since put some stuff on there. Agree also with the "everyone wants to feel special" once in awhile aspect too. I can garauntee that if you try hard enough, you can find some instance that she has flirted too, but why would you want to do that b/c you'll just end up over analyzing everything. Just say you are sorry.
Side story:
A long time ago (15+) before FB, G+ ot twitter, I used to work nights in college. I got home late one night and my girlfriend at the time was asleep. The phone rang and I used to have this habit of screwing with tele-marketers to hopefully piss them off enough to drop my number.
This time it was just a wrong number, but there was a shy, what sounded like a cute voice on the other line that apologized for calling the wrong number. Before she got off the phone, I asked her what she was wearing and messed with her a little bit, then hung up. Told my girlfriend in the morning about it and we laughed (full disclosure-sorry I'm honest like that).
Anyways this girl called back the next night too and this time my girlfriend was up and we totally messed with this girls head and got her to agree to meet for a 3-way (only problem was she didn't know my GF was on the phone so it was going to be with her and her boyfriend-I don't do two swords if you know what I mean).
Long story short, we completely messed with this girl and my phone company at the time had this feature that if right after you got an annoying call you could hit *57 and if you did it to the same number 3 times in one month, it got their phone shut off for a month for harassing.
If you can't or won't follow though woth something, don't chat with someone you don't know. For all you know, it could have been me on the other side of the Facebook message.

PJcastaldo said:
Thanks. Good advice
I am sincere. I had no intentions of cheating..
LOL and i know but I am here alot you guys are like family and it seemed like a good place to get non objective view..
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Yeah man, what you SHOULD do now, dont know if youre willing to do so, but you should just give her your facebook password. If you know youre not going to do anything like that again, she should be able to have it.
It will get a LOADDD off her shoulders knowing she doesnt have to sneak up on you, but rather look for herself at any time.
Hope everything goes well for you man. Just give it time.

FACEBOOK IS FULL OF PEOPLE YOU USED TO KNOW AND DONT WANT TO TALK TO, TWITTER IS FULL OF PEOPLE YOU DONT KNOW AND WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO..IMO,Hope everything works out,

hope everything is working out.
Im just a couple yrs older than you and have have been married about the same time, have 1 child also; so I can understand how this would be a really emotional situation for her and then you.
others gave good advice. be honest w her. tell her it was a mistake. let her look through all your other FB, email, ect... messages to prove to her that this was a one time semi-inocent situation.
even though you did nothing wrong, and maybe you did not, but put yourself in her situation. if you found that on her FB, you would probably be pretty pissed too (at least I would be).
so let her look at everything, give her your passwords, what ever you need to show her that this was a one time incident, that it was nothing more then casual chatting, but you understand that she is upset and you see how it looks now, you would be too in her situation, and that you wont do it again.
good luck

Online cheating is cheating.
I have a different opinion.
I think you should have never added her and never had any type of conversation with her. There is no reason a married man with children should be adding random females to his Facebook.
Secondly, you said you had no intention of cheating, but what about online cheating? What if she had asked you to get on Skype so she could give you a little show. Are you telling me you wouldn't go and watch and maybe join on Skype yourself?
That is my opinion. We live in a new world, and online relationships are a form of cheating in my opinion. You wouldn't sit with this girl at a coffee shop and chit chat, you shouldn't online either.

That's why I'm getting married till I'm like late 20's/early 30's
Hope it works out mate!
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PJcastaldo said:
So this has absolutely nothing to do with Android or anything...
So me and my wife have been together since freshman year in high school we are now 27.. have a 7 year old and a 1 month old. I love her.. and would never cheat on her..
A week or so ago I got a message from a cute chick on facebook saying she wanted to be my friend. I asked her why she said because she thought i looked cute in my pictures. I told her she wasn't so bad looking and we had a kind of flirty conversation. I did however tell her about my wife and kids and we talked about things like where we live and what not.. noting more than a PG conversation..
IT NEVER WENT ANY FARTHER THAN THIS CONVERSATION AND ONLY ONCE...
So i left my FB page up and my wife snooped and read my messages.. she is now crying..
I do feel bad that she got her feelings hurt, but i don't really feel like i did anything wrong..
Let me know what you guys think about my mess i made... just curious about outside opinions..
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Tell her you love her AND that you were A COMPETE DUMBASS for having a meaningless, stupid convo. Then be good and don't do this AGAIN!
Sent from my HTC Sensation 4G using Tapatalk

One day I was at my girlfriend's house, her hot sister came to me and asked if I would like to sleep with her. I was shocked, and, as fast as I could, ran out of the house to my car. To my surprise my girlfriend was outside leaning against the car. She then said, "I knew I could trust you! ", then gave me a hug and told me she loved me.
Moral of the story?
Always keep your condoms in your car.

Wow, what a mess you've gotten yourself into.
If you haven't already, I think you need to first know and understand why your wife is upset.
After years of marriage, she certainly knows you as a person. If you're the type of person who doesn't cheat, she probably knows it. So it's not really a matter of "cheating".
It's a matter of loyalty and sense of security.
It's inevitable that people change over time. They're older, wiser, have different perspectives, etc. But the one thing that doesn't (ie, shouldn't) change is your commitment to your spouse.
when people first started dating, they think they're the perfect match for each other. After years of marriage you might:
-pack on some extra weight
-lose some hair
-no longer buy flowers for your wife
-no longer put up the toilet seat
-have different political views
-discover both of you have different tastes in music
-etc
But, damn it, she knows that at least she can confidently say "After all this time, my husband still loves me."
And if she has a bad day at work or if she just needs a hug, you're there for her. No matter what, you're suppose to have her back. You're her pillar to lean on. She might not need your support all the time, but she knows that if she does, you're there all the time, rock solid.
That "pillar" is what you've compromised here.
So when trying to make amends, don't focus on the FB chat. That's not the real issue at hand. Do what you need to do to let her know that you're still there for her.

TO YOUR WIFE :
plz forgive him, it's nothing, he's a loving husband if he's asking such a small thing here, that means he loves you alot.

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DevStaffAndroid said:
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now THATS a helpful answer xD
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Me and my GF had a three day fight cause I never changed my Facebook profile from "single" to "in a relationship", and she thinks she had it bad. Of cpurse her drama queen sister conviced her it was so i can cheat. I only log in once or twice a month and never thought to change it.
OP you guys should just delete all your Facebook profiles, its more trouble than it's worth, like the situation you got into.
Facebook is nothing but a gathering for information and statistics anyway.

Simply don't post stuff at all

Anyone else hate the holidays?

I appreciate the idea behind the holidays, but since those ideas are mostly lost on sales and media hype plus the fact I'm a miserable pos, add in personal problems, I f***** hate holidays. I know I'm not alone. Or am I? I say f*** fake smiles and lies. Everyone just stay home and order Chinese food.
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I like the Holidays. My birthday is on December 25th...
Sorry, I don't share your POV
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I'd go mental without the holidays. Working in a place you don't overly enjoy means you cherish any day you get away from the place.

I love the holidays. Lots of classic movies being shown on the TV.
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Nothing is better for me than spending the time with my family and getting away from lifes problems for a bit.

Jay Rock said:
Nothing is better for me than spending the time with my family and getting away from lifes problems for a bit.
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This is my same thinking and feeling

agazza said:
I love the holidays, you can be drunk for days!
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Also this

I don't hate the holidays, but I do hate what they have become. It's just another excuse to guilt-trip people with little or no money into parting with what they do have, just to line the pockets of some fat git who owns a shop or two. I've tried asking people that normally get me gifts not to get me anything, but they just ignored that and bought me stuff anyway. This year I've asked that they donate to a charity of my choice instead. Let's see how that goes down.
To me, it should be about a time of celebrating and enjoying the company of family and friends - people who you care about. It's not about giving gifts. That's just commercial crap that's been drummed into us since birth.
But yes. Drunk for days

Archer said:
I don't hate the holidays, but I do hate what they have become. It's just another excuse to guilt-trip people with little or no money into parting with what they do have, just to line the pockets of some fat git who owns a shop or two. I've tried asking people that normally get me gifts not to get me anything, but they just ignored that and bought me stuff anyway. This year I've asked that they donate to a charity of my choice instead. Let's see how that goes down.
To me, it should be about a time of celebrating and enjoying the company of family and friends - people who you care about. It's not about giving gifts. That's just commercial crap that's been drummed into us since birth.
But yes. Drunk for days
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Well said!
Of course, they won't want to give to charity because charity doesn't give back. People need to get away from this 'give-to-receive' culture. As you said, everybody's spending money they don't have and lining the pockets of those who do already have it.
Give love, give kindness, give hugs... but if i need socks i'll go buy them myself thank you very much!

DirkGently said:
Well said!
Of course, they won't want to give to charity because charity doesn't give back. People need to get away from this 'give-to-receive' culture. As you said, everybody's spending money they don't have and lining the pockets of those who do already have it.
Give love, give kindness, give hugs... but if i need socks i'll go buy them myself thank you very much!
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That's the thing - I'm still gonna buy gifts for people as I don't want to upset anyone that expects it. I find it quite ironic that I'm the one that decides to go against the "make the rich richer" idea, but I'm still the one that ends up buying gifts for people.
So anyway, are we talking about all holidays here, or is it just the international codeword for Christmas?

Archer said:
So anyway, are we talking about all holidays here, or is it just the international codeword for Christmas?
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All holidays. I'll even go one step further, and include any family/social events where people who don't like each other fake it and act all cheery.
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erasable said:
All holidays. I'll even go one step further, and include any family/social events where people who don't like each other fake it and act all cheery.
Sent from my HTC Sensation XE with Beats Audio using xda premium
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I used to hate holidays, but then i realised that as long as you stay far away from everyone else in the world, holidays are actually awesome! My advice, if it looks like you're going to be surrounded by people and unable to get a minute to yourself, go book into a nice hotel room and stay there until it's all over!
Thankfully i have sanctuary at home and don't get disturbed. Holidays are just bonus time off work!

I don't care for holidays either. It's like a mandatory hang-out. If I wanted to be around someone, then I'd be around them. Why would I want to pretend and force it?
I don't want people buying me stuff that I didn't want in the first place, and then I can't even return it to the store because 1. it's not customary to give the receipt with a gift and 2. they'll be upset if I get rid of it.
I don't want to have to try and guess what item each person would like me to buy them, only to have them interpret my choice of gift as if there's some hidden meaning behind why I chose that particular gift.
Holidays/celebrations just seem full of forced feelings, unnecessary traditions, and reluctance to go against what everybody else is doing because of the fear of being that one person everybody's talking about. 'He said he doesn't want anybody to buy him any gifts for Christmas, and he doesn't even celebrate his birthday or New Year's. Weeeeird!'
When I accomplish a long sought-after goal, or one of my friends/family get some sort of really good news or something, I don't mind celebrating it. But I would celebrate because I genuinely see a reason for it. How is the fact that it is the date that you were born on X number of years ago equate to candles, cake, ice cream, and gifts? It seems a little OCD to me to keep track of dates like b-days, anniversaries, holidays, and the like. But it is overlooked in the name of celebration.

It's a mixed emotions for me. Like what the other poster said it's like forcing yourself to be with someone you don't really want to be with. But there are times where I get to meet a mutual friend of a family, which most of the time are really nice people.

well, I personally love the holidays. I love having a whole week off to get away from school and spending time with family. I also love the snow (which doesn't apply to people who live in hot areas lol.)
I don't mind gifts but it does make me feel kind of guilty that people spend so much money on them when that money could go to places like charity.

I hate holidays, and the fact that I work in a store that already had christmas decorations and sweets in goddamn september doesn't help.
On the other hand, holiday food FTW.

Krasus said:
I hate holidays, and the fact that I work in a store that already had christmas decorations and sweets in goddamn september doesn't help.
On the other hand, holiday food FTW.
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Well put. Every cloud has a silver lining, and a decent Christmas meal makes up for at least some of the crap that comes with the holiday season!

I abhor the holidays most of them have lost traditional meaning and became a corporate gimmick
Such a G, posting on the fly from my epically epic

I feel the same way as you, on top of me not really having much of a family anymore to celebrate it with Sucks
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My ex-girlfriend cheated on me. She is pregnant with my baby. FML.

Wow, so today I found out that my ex-girlfriend now, been messaging her ex-boyfriend telling him he misses her and loves her and wants to be with him behind my back. Let me remind you that she is pregnant with my kid. I read her google chat log and found out all different kind of messages. I was completely shocked and completely *****ed at her. I told her stup*d as* to pack up her sh!t and get the f*ck out of my house. To think I was going to marry her as*.

Wow that's harsh man. Sorry to hear it. If there was no kid involved I'd say you're lucky to have found out, but that's just wrong on the little one. What a role model Mummy's gonna be

Sorry to hear that also, I think you need to care about your child now. Try not to confront her or him, just don't give a crap for the well being of your child (that needs to be your primary focus from now on).
Cheers man and good luck.

Archer said:
Wow that's harsh man. Sorry to hear it. If there was no kid involved I'd say you're lucky to have found out, but that's just wrong on the little one. What a role model Mummy's gonna be
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Yeah, I really ended up with something huh.. Nice way to start off the New Years.. F*ck that b!tch!
UPDATE: She's calling me telling me sorry and how she doesnt want me to leave.. What a dumb b!tch. Seriously. I told her to get the f*ck out of my life and get her sh!t out. Tired of her bullsh!t.

Mr. Clown said:
Sorry to hear that also, I think you need to care about your child now. Try not to confront her or him, just don't give a crap for the well being of your child (that needs to be your primary focus from now on).
Cheers man and good luck.
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Archer said:
Wow that's harsh man. Sorry to hear it. If there was no kid involved I'd say you're lucky to have found out, but that's just wrong on the little one. What a role model Mummy's gonna be
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Thank you both for hearing me out. Really appreciate the comments. Its good to talk to someone about something awful like this.

Make sure you don't sign that birth certificate until you get DNA confirmation that it's your baby.
I have a friend that got trapped and is paying child support on a child that's not his because he signed (acknowledged) that the child was his.
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Above&Beyond™ said:
Yeah, I really ended up with something huh.. Nice way to start off the New Years.. F*ck that b!tch!
UPDATE: She's calling me telling me sorry and how she doesnt want me to leave.. What a dumb b!tch. Seriously. I told her to get the f*ck out of my life and get her sh!t out. Tired of her bullsh!t.
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That's going to be a hard line to take if she's pregnant with your child... sounds like she might be a part of your life for good now, one way or the other. :/
Still, sorry to hear it bro.

Yeah, it's a tough situation all round. As said above, you are going to be involved in her life now for many, many years, so as Mr Clown said you need to forget your anger towards them because the little one is the most important thing.
Obviously, I agree with Android300ZX that a DNA test is a wise precaution.

Just one pertinent question: Are you sure it's your kid?
One thing to say: She's only sorry because she got caught. Ditch the b*tch bro, plenty of other chicks out there.

also MAKE SURE U RECORD everything when it come time to back what u need ex tv,couch,phone,printer,computer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkt7Dx_uK5Y SHE DA CHEATING HO*

Its cheaper to keep her. Eff child support. My dad had to go through it 7, yes that's right, SEVEN times.
-My life is a shooting range, people never change-

watt9493 said:
Its cheaper to keep her. Eff child support. My dad had to go through it 7, yes that's right, SEVEN times.
-My life is a shooting range, people never change-
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This statement really pisses me off. One of my employees always says it all the time. It is not about what option is less expensive...it is about what makes you both happy.
You both need to have a heart to heart and decide if you want to make things work or if it is best to separate ways. Take it from someone who was married for 6 years with someone who didnt seem like he wanted to be there...in the end, I was tired of being in love with a man that didn't seem to feel the same about me and we were divorced. Now I am a single mom and things are much better off.
Examine your relationship now before you get to involved. Your baby will be best with 2 parents who love each other, rather then 2 parents who only stay together for the kid.

I agree you should catalog everything that you had pre-relationship with her. It's not marriage but things can go south very fast. I also agree with who ever posted about not signing the birth certificate until you know 110% sure that the baby is yours. I had a girlfriend who was messing around with other guys behind my back when she got pregnant (found that out after we went through everything). Good luck bro

Damn... Sorry to hear that bro
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Hey man, altough you think this is the end of the world, it isn´t. Let your friends and family comfort you, that life goes on.

That will be a prolonged pain. Find time to spend totally away from her to heal.

I'm gonna go back on what I previously said, after thinking about it some more. We've all made mistakes - I've made tons of them! If you care enough about the girl to be planning a family and marriage with her then maybe it's worth at least seeing what happens.
It's easy for someone not in the situation to knee-jerk but what do we know about how you two really feel about each other? Nothing.
Just use this place to vent and see our responses, then ignore them all completely and do what's best for you, your misses and the little one. Just be honest and you can't go wrong.

I usually don't repeat myself but:
-Make sure you get a DNA test!
-A lot of females use that (I'm pregnant) against a guy to keep him. It may very well be true but be careful.
-Record everything! Make a backup on Gmail. I would use Google Voice and have Google Voice be your primary voicemail. If she calls you and leaves a voicemail it will get saved to Google Voice where you can download it to your desktop and keep it on file.
-Take most if not all the things she says to you with a grain of salt.
-Make sure you don't end up looking like the deadbeat that just picked up and left. They tend to make themselves look like the victim to their friends and family.
-If the child is yours take care of your business and appreciate them because they are pure.
-If you find it in your heart to forgive her make sure you really forgive her and not bring it up when you get into the occasional argument.
I have experience in this. My GF cheated on me twice. The first time she would go out with her "girls" (multiple instances of partying with her "girls" and coming back late in the AM) and I found out she was going out with a guy that I knew who was in our circle of friends. She would cut school and hang out with this guy all the while I was paying for her education. She doesn't work or hasn't in the 4 years we've been together because I took care of everything as a man. The second time I caught her was on her birthday when I came home early (unannounced) from work to surprise her and caught her leaving the neighbors house and overheard her on the phone discussing the events with her BFF. I couldn't forgive her because the thought of me seeing this guy's car every day and the fact that I know he's be laughing at me from behind the confines of his home taking me for a sucker. The only reason I haven't pummeled his face in is because of my daughter.
I have a kid with her and I still live with her but we are only together for the sake of my daughter. She graduates this month from school and will get a job in her field so we will sit down and discuss our arrangements and separation.
Just make sure you cover all your bases man.
*** Again, Do the DNA test!! Don't fall for that guilt trip she may put on your about you denying your child and not trusting her ***
They will use that against you and make you succumb to signing the certificate.

Hang in there man, it's tough. I think that you best pursue what's going to be the best for your son or daughter.
There is a test they can do for paternity during gestation, it determines gender among other things of the child, mostly done for at risk older mothers.
If in the end you find you are a father, ill tell you first hand (literally holding my Lil guy) its a feeling like no other. You've got to do what's best for your own, which will likely be to split. Your gf likely grew up on a household with a limited example of a father figure, and you certainly don't want your own kid to turn into the same type of person as her.

Yeah, DNA test seems good suggestion. Make sure wich base it came from. Also maybe ask for a ETA.
Oké, now go to Dr Phill or Jerry Springer. Last time i checked it was a technical forum.
Cheers

Just found out...

that my wife is having an affair. I can't tell my family, friends, or co-workers because they all know her and I'm trying to keep things normal for my kids. So I thought I would tell a bunch of near-strangers instead because I have to tell SOMEBODY! I'm ok, not going to do anything crazy or stupid, I just wanted to get it off my chest.

You should get her drunk and drop her off in the ghetto

austontatious said:
that my wife is having an affair. I can't tell my family, friends, or co-workers because they all know her and I'm trying to keep things normal for my kids. So I thought I would tell a bunch of near-strangers instead because I have to tell SOMEBODY! I'm ok, not going to do anything crazy or stupid, I just wanted to get it off my chest.
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hmm that really sucks man...
when are you going to tell her? eventually you have to...
dont do strange things , keep it up mate

Sometimes doing the right thing, is the hardest thing.
Stuff like this would me up from the inside, i respect people who take the well being of their family over themselves.
Keep strong man, dont let **** like this bring you down
Nexus s
iPad 3rd gen

And dont forget her to show where her stuff and bags are.. when you showed her that, show her where the door is.
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Are you 100 percent sure. This is some serious ****.
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Wrong forum I know, but i'm sorry to hear about your wife. Are you absolutely sure? Someone close to me told his best friend his girl was cheating (lie) so he could be the one to comfort her and become her new guy...it worked. Be sure...btw do you still love her?
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Naw, I'm sure. I don't normally do this, but I felt like something was up, so I snooped her FB. Found a convo between her and this guy talking about their feelings for each other. She might not be banging him, but feelings are maybe worse.
I couldn't ever let my kids know anything - my parents used me and my sisters as weapons in their divorce, I won't do it.
I believe that you have to take some ownership if your significant other cheats - People cheat because they have a need that isn't being met. So I take some responsibility. It still feels a little like being punched in the stomach.

austontatious said:
Naw, I'm sure. I don't normally do this, but I felt like something was up, so I snooped her FB. Found a convo between her and this guy talking about their feelings for each other. She might not be banging him, but feelings are maybe worse.
I couldn't ever let my kids know anything - my parents used me and my sisters as weapons in their divorce, I won't do it.
I believe that you have to take some ownership if your significant other cheats - People cheat because they have a need that isn't being met. So I take some responsibility. It still feels a little like being punched in the stomach.
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"People cheat because they have a need that isnt being met" --> i completely agree with that!
You gotta talk it out.. and yess. The 2nd option is to show her the door..
Sent from my Nexus S using Tapatalk 2

It wasn't me
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austontatious said:
Naw, I'm sure. I don't normally do this, but I felt like something was up, so I snooped her FB. Found a convo between her and this guy talking about their feelings for each other. She might not be banging him, but feelings are maybe worse.
I couldn't ever let my kids know anything - my parents used me and my sisters as weapons in their divorce, I won't do it.
I believe that you have to take some ownership if your significant other cheats - People cheat because they have a need that isn't being met. So I take some responsibility. It still feels a little like being punched in the stomach.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Yes people do cheat cause they are missing something from the relationship, but that isn't your fault. If there was something wrong with your relationship it was both duty to sit and talk about it or maybe search for council. If there wasn't nothing wrong with the two of you, then it's her entire fault, and once again she had the duty to sit and talk with you about it.
And piece of advice, don't just patronize cause of the kids, it will be mush worse. Go to her, talk with her and explain what you just found out. After that both of you make a decision. In case of divorce, at least try to make it the most friendly as possible...

I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through...
I'm a very jealous man and even non issue things drive me insane.
Obviously you can't deal and live with her doing this and be a normal family forever... Take it one day at a time and think it through.
Maybe go see a Counselor or something to talk, many local counties have a department of health and human services where most services are free or low cost where they don't charge you to start and bill you according to your income.
It's very private and uplifting.
. I used them for aoda for some personal issues I had. If you need anyone to talk to, you can pm me.
Also if you have some type of cash or homes /property, please start checking out divorce attorneys and only attorneys that specialize in divorce, preferably a male firm.
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Also I found some things my gf lied to me about to my face multiple times about her past in her Facebook and when confronted months later after a long night together at the bar she still denied it until I said I saw it in her Facebook and the next thing was why are you going through my **** lol
It shouldn't of been a issue because it was her past but I knew she was lying and that was my issue.
Anyways sadly Facebook and other social networking is making this type of behavior easier.
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austontatious said:
Naw, I'm sure. I don't normally do this, but I felt like something was up, so I snooped her FB. Found a convo between her and this guy talking about their feelings for each other. She might not be banging him, but feelings are maybe worse.
I couldn't ever let my kids know anything - my parents used me and my sisters as weapons in their divorce, I won't do it.
I believe that you have to take some ownership if your significant other cheats - People cheat because they have a need that isn't being met. So I take some responsibility. It still feels a little like being punched in the stomach.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
their was a guy in Michigan who logged into his wifes email and found she was cheating on him... He was later arrested and charged... see this... he now faces 5 years and a felony so he may not be ever able to work again as felons are usually unable to get work.
http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/appeals-court-rules-husband-can-be-charged-criminally-for-reading-wifes-email/
---------- Post added at 04:00 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:57 AM ----------
dpeeps74 said:
It wasn't me
Sent from my Nexus S 4G using xda premium
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
http://youtu.be/cQ4axo9rmJY
also in some states like Indiana and Colorado adultery is illegal
On the books
Excerpts from state adultery laws:
South Carolina: “Any man or woman who shall be guilty of the crime of adultery or fornication shall be liable to indictment and, on conviction, shall be severally punished by a fine of not less than $100 nor more than $500 or imprisonment for not less than six months nor more than one year or by both fine and imprisonment, at the discretion of the court. ...‘Adultery’ is the living together and carnal intercourse with each other or habitual carnal intercourse with each other without living together of a man and woman when either is lawfully married to some other person.”
Minnesota: “When a married woman has sexual intercourse with a man other than her husband, whether married or not, both are guilty of adultery and may be sentenced to imprisonment for not more than one year or to payment of a fine of not more than $3,000, or both.”
North Carolina: “Fornication and adultery. If any man and woman, not being married to each other, shall lewdly and lasciviously associate, bed and cohabit together, they shall be guilty of a Class 2 misdemeanor: Provided, that the admissions or confessions of one shall not be received in evidence against the other.”
New Hampshire: “A person is guilty of a class B misdemeanor if, being a married person, he engages in sexual intercourse with another not his spouse or, being unmarried, engages in sexual intercourse with another known by him to be married.”

Google_Nexus said:
their was a guy in Michigan who logged into his wifes email and found she was cheating on him... He was later arrested and charged... see this...
http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/ap...e-charged-criminally-for-reading-wifes-email/
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The laws differ in each state and it's a real Grey area.
How do we know she didn't leave her fb open?
Some states allow call recording in court with only one party knowing.
. I believe in a relationship, let alone marriage, that everything should be open, accessible and on the table. but everyone is different.
. I personally would start some spy stuff. There are apps in the play store that secretly install and forward all texts received and sent and if it's your bill and your name on the account its legal.
It's your life and future, along with your children's lives at stake.
Need more information pm me for the app names.
Gps trackers are small and magnetic and are easily hidden.
If it's your car It's also legal.
It's your life.
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Sensitive guy strikes again. These online douchebags talk to and act like they care about ur wife's feelings, then talk em into some crazy affair. Then leaves her high n dry and she realizes she should be with you, for the kids. Put her out, dude, there's tons more that value family and true love more than she apparently does. Hasn't happened to me, but ive had some friends fall prey to "sensitive guy". But, you cant just blame him cud it takes em both to start it. Put her out while u still have some sanity. You'll feel great about it.
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mangohorse said:
Sensitive guy strikes again. These online douchebags talk to and act like they care about ur wife's feelings, then talk em into some crazy affair. Then leaves her high n dry and she realizes she should be with you, for the kids. Put her out, dude, there's tons more that value family and true love more than she apparently does. Hasn't happened to me, but ive had some friends fall prey to "sensitive guy". But, you cant just blame him cud it takes em both to start it. Put her out while u still have some sanity. You'll feel great about it.
Sent from my Kindle Fire using xda premium
Click to expand...
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,, I also to fell prey to the quote unquote sensitive guy with my ex 4 years when we were having problems he would swoop in and act like he was caring, listening and whatever. She left and moved out of my place, when she tried to come back and I wasn't having it she was devastated, but I told her now she knew how I felt that entire week and what I did wrong, but it was nothing about me. What goes around comes back around.
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Things are not so easy as you guys put it. Yes it's a ****ed up situation, yes he has all rights to feel bad about it, but by no means he should loose his temper.
If it was me, I would pickup my things and move to a motel our something like that followed by an attorney visit to take care of the divorce. Thing is, there's kids involved, kids that I'm sure he loves. He must do things right to get the best for him and for his kids.
It's easy to talk when we are single, cause we can do pretty much what we want and send the consequences to the hell, not so much when we are married
Sent from my
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YYYYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

That really sucks man... just talk to her ask her what she want being with you...if her answer is negative better of divorcing her and find another wife that will love you and your children..
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DeuXGod said:
Things are not so easy as you guys put it. Yes it's a ****ed up situation, yes he has all rights to feel bad about it, but by no means he should loose his temper.
If it was me, I would pickup my things and move to a motel our something like that followed by an attorney visit to take care of the divorce. Thing is, there's kids involved, kids that I'm sure he loves. He must do things right to get the best for him and for his kids.
It's easy to talk when we are single, cause we can do pretty much what we want and send the consequences to the hell, not so much when we are married
Sent from my
( •_•)
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Nexus S
(⌐■_■)
YYYYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
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Yeah I definitely didn't say to do anything related to revenge or anger.
Just advised that he should get more proof and be 150% sure before he says anything. Then if is true, then go get that attorney to get all your affairs in order before the confrontation.
Also OP, I know this is none of our business, but has your relationship with her changed at all recently or anything? What about sex life? Is it the same? Worse?
Is she going out more, working "longer hours", or just acting suspicious?
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