Database Develop

Wow (possible NSFW)

So I'm working on a sextoy for guys. It utilizes haptic technology. Strange where life takes us sometimes!

Are you after beta testers?

Um... wow. I have a great sex toy already, and it also cooks and cleans... A little too emotional sometimes, but I'm pretty sure it ****s better than any inanimate object you'll throw together. Hey guys....
GET A GIRLFRIEND

Wow, talk about off-topic.

robinsonsam said:
Are you after beta testers?
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LOL perhaps. You will be the first to know! Well I used to joke about it before it came in house, but now I am a bit of believer. Yes a real life girl is the best option, but this comes in a close second!

burgertime said:
LOL perhaps. You will be the first to know! Well I used to joke about it before it came in house, but now I am a bit of believer. Yes a real life girl is the best option, but this comes in a close second!
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says the boy who has never felt vagina...
HAHA just kidding, just kidding. This thread just leaves you open to so many burns I don't know where to start. ;-)

P1Tater said:
Wow, talk about off-topic.
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LOL! This is about as off topic as you can get in a PPC forum.
Why in the hell would you even post this?
It's a little odd.......

burgertime said:
So I'm working on a sextoy for guys. It utilizes haptic technology. Strange where life takes us sometimes!
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Haptic feedback eh? I think that's already been developed LOL. It's called:
Vibrating ring condom + GF = Haptic feedback lmao.

Kraize92 said:
Haptic feedback eh? I think that's already been developed LOL. It's called:
Vibrating ring condom + GF = Haptic feedback lmao.
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Wow, For a young'en your pretty knowledgable.

Edited myself, I forgot mods have a soft spot for comments made between Kraize and I. It was said with good intentions, I promise.

JimmyMcGee said:
Wow, For a young'en your pretty knowledgable.
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Why thank you. Yes, today's generation is more perverse and they tend to have sex at a much younger age then you'd think so.

Kraize92 said:
Why thank you. Yes, today's generation is more perverse and they tend to have sex at a much younger age then you'd think so.
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Well then. With that said, anybody in here that's an over protected parent? if so, go check on your daughter!

kidnamedAlbert said:
Well then. With that said, anybody in here that's an over protected parent? if so, go check on your daughter!
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I'd agree. You may think your daughter is innocent, but unless you know her every move which is kinda scary, but if you do, then you have nothing to be afraid of. I mean I'm not a man whore who goes around sleeping with all the women I can find. I stick to one But it would be nice if parents started to talk about this to their kids. (Mind you, I come from a place where they would never discuss or have a sex talk EVER)

No child over the age of 16 is innocent. You just have to hope they aren't death penalty guilty..in context to your morals as a parent of course.
Ha, yes it is off topic. Is it anymore off topic then the bible or if your Muslim compared to mobile phones? No. Just thought I would post on it as it is very bizarre.

burgertime said:
No child over the age of 16 is innocent. You just have to hope they aren't death penalty guilty..in context to your morals as a parent of course.
Ha, yes it is off topic. Is it anymore off topic then the bible or if your Muslim compared to mobile phones? No. Just thought I would post on it as it is very bizarre.
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Wait wait. Was that directed at me? lol? I'm not muslim btw

Lol no I was not implying that you were Muslim, just that it's no more off topic then those topics.

Any update? lol

I have a comment; however, I think I should keep this to myself as I don't want to offend anyone. There are other forums on the net where you can talk more freely about these things and where it is more appropriate. I really don't think that it is appropriate for older adults to be discussing these things with minors anyways. Especially where it looks like this discussion will be heading.

hotrod101 said:
I have a comment; however, I think I should keep this to myself as I don't want to offend anyone. There are other forums on the net where you can talk more freely about these things and where it is more appropriate. I really don't think that it is appropriate for older adults to be discussing these things with minors anyways. Especially where it looks like this discussion will be heading.
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*Cough* *Cough*
Discussions are totally fine as long as it doesn't lead to any revealing photos, videos, etc. I mean kids can now go to Wal-Mart and buy condoms. No one will stop you. You just have to get used to it. I understand many might be uncomfortable with that idea, but still. It's the generation gap you could say.

mikechannon said:
I know you guys know where to draw the line.
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I certainly do, but does everyone else?

Has the word THANKS and SORRY become to cheap?

Do you think that, too?

Quite the opposite, i reckon they're still not used enough. Of course it's become easier to do online but people are still reserved and reticent to be polite to strangers. Natural reaction i guess. Perhaps the fact that people are being polite online may carry over to real life eventually?
Personally i've always found myself being awkward in real life social situations and heartfelt stuff just makes it worse. Gotta be drunk for that stuff! No such problem saying Thanks, please, sorry etc on here though.

I don't think the mods will like that. A "thank you" is a thing you'll have to deserve.

I will however 'Thank' any currently serving, or previously serving, member of any of the Armed Services on principal.
Should the OP decide to enlist and serve his Queen and Country i will be the first to hit that button!

Luckily for you, i am the queen Now, let's get f-ed up gentlemen!

I hate Justin bayber, will you thank me?
Sent from my SGH-T959 using XDA App

WTS thanks hitting. 1$ each. pm me
(kidding don't ban me)

But that doesn't help when you secretly have a crush on Rebecca Black. So no, i can't thank you yet.

BazookaAce said:
Luckily for you, i am the queen Now, let's get f-ed up gentlemen!
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Hear, hear!
Cheers!
Edit: Can i borrow a couple of your commonwealth countries for the weekend? Nothing important...perhaps Canada & Australia? I promise to return them in good condition!

If you have kids then you know what Im talking about.. Sorry loses its meaning very VERY fast... lol

Shift_Lock said:
If you have kids then you know what Im talking about.. Sorry loses its meaning very VERY fast... lol
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Lulz! So you feel like you're being played? Kids are masters at manipulation and will stop at nothing! The two 'angels' that i share a house with know exactly how to wrap me in knots.
Bless 'em. (They're not mine so i only have to digest them in bite sized chunks).
When i was younger i had terrible trouble admitting when i was wrong. I would defend my argument long after it had stopped being logical. I think that's common too. It stings the pride. I'm glad i'm not like that any more.

LOL! The 4 year old is the worst.. she runs her mom. her brother and her sister.. I try to keep it together... but damn... she knows all the tricks!

Shift_Lock said:
LOL! The 4 year old is the worst.. she runs her mom. her brother and her sister.. I try to keep it together... but damn... she knows all the tricks!
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The ones here are 4 (boy) and 5 (girl) and boy does she think she's the boss! My landlord is the most patient people person i've ever known, and is far too kind to be a disciplinarian, (he took me in after all), but she takes every advantage of the fact.
"Daughter of mine, you're going to bed soon so turn off that computer and go brush your teeth".
"No daddy, we don't go to bed at this time and i will play this some more, and then i will watch television for a while...", in the sweetest voice imaginable, as if she's explaining the way things are to a total idiot.
I love it! She always does what i ask her though.

They could be the most important words ever spoken to a person
Sent from my ADR6350 using xda premium

Flash mob robbery!!!

Just wanted to make sure everyone here is up to date on flash mob robberies, they are halarious, if you dont know about them yet check out you-tube and watch a few videos.
Basicaly the idea of a flash mob has turned from random bits of dance and entertainment to 50-100 people simotaniusley robbing/looting random corner stores and gas stations. I do not condone these acts (while I do think the videos are entertaining) and thought others may like to share opinions on this, so what do you guys think? I say its not long before a store owner pulls a weapon on these fools and we see mass casualties in a 7-11, how else are they gonna defend themselves against such a thing?
Is this happening in other counties or is this more of a U.S. based thing as of yet?
Please share which vidoes you find the most entertaining!!!!
(video for those unfamiliar)

I don't find anything remotely funny about small business owners being robbed by gangs of morons who deserve nothing more than being put against a wall and shot, one after the other, in the knee-caps.
I hope somebody does exactly that. On camera. Perhaps THEN i will laugh.

DirkGently said:
I don't find anything remotely funny about small business owners being robbed by gangs of morons who deserve nothing more than being put against a wall and shot, one after the other, in the knee-caps.
I hope somebody does exactly that. On camera. Perhaps THEN i will laugh.
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Sorry I still see the entertainment value in these videos (big fan of worlds dumbest lol). However I believe we are on the same page, that the next progression is going to be a store owner shooting at these groups of wild teens looting there store, untill than whats stopping them? The thought process must be "they cant catch all of us" I guess, but im not sure why nobodys wearing masks, idiots must not understand that there are cameras almost everywhere. Imagine if you were a cop and were first on scene to one of these calls best bet might be to baragade your cruiser against the door and lock them all in untill backup arrives, however that locks the loanly clerk and any possible legit patrons inside as posible hostages. Could you imagine going in to pay for gas or buy some smokes and 50+ kids run in and start looting the place!

DirkGently said:
I don't find anything remotely funny about small business owners being robbed by gangs of morons
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^^ This
Sent from my GT-I9100 using xda premium

Yeah. Great, some store owner shoots one and the rest beat him to death...
That's entertainment alright..........
As someone who very regularly has to deal with the kind of moron who thinks its acceptable to steal from and threaten those who work in customer service I do not find this remotely funny.
I see, all too often just how badly the people that do these jobs can be affected by even a minor incident and something such as this could have serious repercussions on the life of a completely innocent person who is not insured against any loss or injury and will receive nothing in compensation should they find themselves unable to work afterwards.
By simply reposting these videos you are glorifying these acts and only inciting more of this kind of action by the type of mindless cretins who make life difficult for those of us who work hard to earn a living.

conantroutman said:
By simply reposting these videos you are glorifying these acts and only inciting more of this kind of action by the type of mindless cretins who make life difficult for those of us who work hard to earn a living.
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Meh... understood. I did actually find myslef wondering why such videos remain on youtube, thinking along the same lines that actually seeing such a video would only insight further flash mob robberies sparking the mind of wasted youth. However that is enough self reflection into myself and will be reserved for another day when I feel more like looking back onto things I may or may not have done, that may or may not have been the "best choices"
I started this thread in thoughts of conversation and nothing more, please do not mistake this as approval to such acts

Yeah point taken, its probably not fair to blame you personally so sorry about that.
Just annoys me that's all
Sent From My Fingers To Your Face.....

conantroutman said:
Yeah point taken, its probably not fair to blame you personally so sorry about that.
Just annoys me that's all
Sent From My Fingers To Your Face.....
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No worries

It's OK, you did call them fools after all, and you do raise the point that it won't be long before it turns really ugly, i.e, loss of life ugly. Had anybody thought you were glorifying the acts the thread would be closed by now!
As CTM said, these things can only go south. The robbers come with knives, so owners buy guns and before long the robbers have guns. It's exactly what's happened in the USA, and as much as the gun advocates, i.e NRA members, defend their position.. it's completely illogical. The argument is cyclical. You defend your home with a BB Bat, robbers bring knives. You buy a knife, robbers bring guns. You buy a gun and before long your kid has accidentally shot himself to death.
The arguments go back and forth while the only clear and logical answer is to smelt every single fkin gun in existence. Fortunately it's the one thing the UK government here at home has gotten right.
The only guns should belong to the Army and Specialist Police forces. Beyond that, they shouldn't even be made. The only reason these cocky little ****es think they can get away with robbing innocent people is because most people are too sensible to start an arms race where nobody wins. And most people are too decent to shoot somebody, even when they themselves are being robbed.
Personally, i have no such reservations. I would kill each and every one of the bastards given the chance. Which is exactly why we have gun control here!

^^^lol, a bb bat excellent makeshift weapon
Sent from my SilverBullet 'HTCDesireZ running CM7'

deliriousDroid said:
^^^lol, a bb bat excellent makeshift weapon
Sent from my SilverBullet 'HTCDesireZ running CM7'
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I would swing like Babe Ruth if i thought a direct hit would save the life of someone i loved!
Tony Martin was jailed because we don't have the 'Castle doctrine' in this country. The biggest mistake he made wasn't to open fire on the assholes who tried to rob him. It was missing, and then not burying the bodies that messed up his life!
Like i said, it's a good thing that the law doesn't agree with me!

DirkGently said:
I would swing like Babe Ruth if i thought a direct hit would save the life of someone i loved!
Tony Martin was jailed because we don't have the 'Castle doctrine' in this country. The biggest mistake he made wasn't to open fire on the assholes who tried to rob him. It was missing, and then not burying the bodies that messed up his life!
Like i said, it's a good thing that the law doesn't agree with me!
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And what is this 'Castle doctrine' ?

Tomdg07 said:
And what is this 'Castle doctrine' ?
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It's the law that you have in the US that say's you have the right to protect yourself in your own home, against those that would trespass or do harm against you on your property.
Somebody breaks into your home and you shoot them? Their fault!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castle_doctrine
Sadly even this can lead to f**k ups of epic proportions. Take for instance new US laws that allow for entry to a property by law enforcement without the need for a warrant, or for announcing "Police..come out with your hands up..."
Tragically, a recent case highlighted the flaws in this. Police went to an ex-Marines house, on false evidence that he was supplying drugs. Rather than knock on the door they tried to break it down. He thought that his home was being invaded, so to protect his family to picked up his rifle and opened fire on the 'intruders'. He was shot forty times.
What would you have done?
If neither he, or the police were packing guns, everyone would have lived!

DirkGently said:
It's the law that you have in the US that say's you have the right to protect yourself in your own home, against those that would trespass or do harm against you on your property.
Somebody breaks into your home and you shoot them? Their fault!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castle_doctrine
Sadly even this can lead to f**k ups of epic proportions. Take for instance new US laws that allow for entry to a property by law enforcement without the need for a warrant, or for announcing "Police..come out with your hands up..."
Tragically, a recent case highlighted the flaws in this. Police went to an ex-Marines house, on false evidence that he was supplying drugs. Rather than knock on the door they tried to break it down. He thought that his home was being invaded, so to protect his family to picked up his rifle and opened fire on the 'intruders'. He was shot forty times.
What would you have done?
If neither he, or the police were packing guns, everyone would have lived!
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That's what I thought you were referring to, and yes it is an epic fail, no matter how "justified" you are I doubt it's ever worth it. I have a friend who shot and killed an intruder, no charges ever filled however I know he well never be the same. Partially in a good way as his life wasn't always on the up and up and has since in ways changed for the better for both him and his family, but we'll never be the same.
Sent from my SGH-I997 using xda premium

These videos and the acts portrayed within are just terrible. I for one believe we need more small "mom and pop" stores, not less. Acts like these can very well cause someone innocent to be hurt (the morons doing these things NEED to be hurt....but I digress....) and drive these small stores out of business. Terrible, just terrible.
Sent from my HTC PH39100 using xda premium

It makes me sad to see this kind of stuff happen in the states... I can barely believe it!
Sent from my Nexus One using xda premium

1) flash mobbers deserve whatever a store owner it's willing to give out.
2) I stand firmly in support of castle doctrine ... come into my house when
I'm not expecting you, and we'll see how it works.
My 2¢,
G
Sent from my Viper-powered Evo 3D via Tapatalk

I will do you a (dis)service

Hello XDAers. Actually, just OTers.
For Christmas, anyone and everyone who posts here will get either a service (or disservice) from me. Just post anything, a single word or a wall of text, and I will gladly (or reluctantly, depending on my energy levels) write something good or awful or awfully good about what you wrote in relation to you.
Now, begin.

woo.....PLOP

Shi! Shizzz
Sent from my X10i using xda premium

Hey :| Poker face.
-We do what we must because we can; for the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead-

NJ___Jon said:
woo.....PLOP
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Hey Jon.
How's Jersey treating you? Remember that time Snooki went woo and PLOP her ass on your boner and you thought you got herpes? Well, I've got some good news, and some bad news. Are you seated down. If you're not, please sit down. If you're seated, please make yourself comfortable. Not in that way, Jon.
Well, the good news, it's not herpes. I'm sure you're glad, right? The bad news is it's AIDS, so you're pretty much fvcked. I mean, you fvcked. Fvcked up, I mean. Not that I was watching you bang Snooki or anything, I'm sure any position would do, really. But the good news is that now you don't have to live that much longer with the humiliation of knowing that you banged Snooki. Which leads me to the final piece of bad news, since you were drunk that night. You banged Snooki.
Anyhows, I'll be chillin' in Malaysia 'til your wife says it's ok to come back to Jersey. She's loving it here, by the way.

shahkam said:
Shi! Shizzz
Sent from my X10i using xda premium
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Dude, remember that time I brought you to the Victoria's Secret after-party and you went European and got Shizzz in your pants? I told them it was mayonnaise.
She went shi though, and I'm sure the complete and utter humiliation did not push you so far into the closet you ended up in the back ends of Narnia.

Nice imagination, write to this:
Nice imagination, write to this.
Sent from my LG-P999 using xda premium

Sakaiaikikikikikikiki
-My life is a shooting range, people never change-

sakai4eva said:
Dude, remember that time I brought you to the Victoria's Secret after-party and you went European and got Shizzz in your pants? I told them it was mayonnaise.
She went shi though, and I'm sure the complete and utter humiliation did not push you so far into the closet you ended up in the back ends of Narnia.
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One thing to say LMAO !
Sent from my X10i using xda premium

I_am_Error said:
Hey :| Poker face.
-We do what we must because we can; for the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead-
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TO: Mr, Error, I Am.
SUBJECT: Inappropriate behaviour during lectures.
Mr. Error, I bid you good day, despite the fact that you have utterly ruined mine, as well as others' so far. True to your moniker, you have more than managed to personify the very deification your status as the anthropomorphic personification of all that is wrong and erroneous in your time here.
Firstly, Miss Hěi is of a slightly more... sensitive disposition. While her mental and physical disabilities does contribute to her almost clubbing you to death with her umbrella, your childishly immature action of teasing her name by calling out to anyone sitting beside her warrants such response and it is the faculty's opinion that that you deserved it. Calling someone with Down Syndrome "poker face" is also socially frowned upon.
As such, I must inform you that you are now the official Teaching Assistant in the classroom, until and unless your next shenanigan caused further uproar and humour in the faculty whereupon you will be further elevated in the Clown School.
Retards.

moeahmad1995 said:
Nice imagination, write to this:
Nice imagination, write to this.
Sent from my LG-P999 using xda premium
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Moe. You're fvcking 16 already. Stop screaming "ah" and going mad. Your chantings are now so loud the Jones down the street are jonesing. All I hear is
Ricey magic nation light tooth tits: Ricey magic nation light tooth tits.
Which makes no sense.

watt9493 said:
sakaiaikikikikikikiki
-my life is a shooting range, people never change-
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To: 9493, Watt.
Subject: Demise of your partner.
Date: 19th october 2011
Mr 9493, it is with regret that I inform you that your partner Mr 9493, Volt has recently passed. However his life insurance merely covers accidental death and the U.S. Army does not extend DADT benefits retroactively. Accidental insurance could not be used to cover his procedures as he was last seen waving a machete and saying he was a samurai prior to dismembering his member. I quote, verbatim from the transcript that he was last heard yelling "Sakaiaikikikikikikiki" and that is seven kis which is two kis more than the company motto therefore also disqualifying him from the company insurance. However, I am able to offer you a stipend from the widowers' fund as long as you were able to furnish proper proof of matrimony, holy or not. Pictures of anal coitus is not sufficient proof of marriage or of civil union, merely of union, albeit from his face it seemed quite civil. Your adoption of his surname and insistence of it's usage is not evidence either.
As such, unless you furnish us with court admissible proof of civil union and/or marriage in fourteen (14) days from the date of this letter, we will close this file.
Thank you.

Oh, I see what's going on here, and I shall have no part in it!
Oh... I guess I had no choice
Sent from my SilverBullet 'HTCDesireZ running EliteMod'

deliriousDroid said:
Oh, I see what's going on here, and I shall have no part in it!
Oh... I guess I had no choice
Sent from my SilverBullet 'HTCDesireZ running EliteMod'
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That's not what you said when we did it to you.
*wink*

sakai4eva said:
That's not what you said when we did it to you.
*wink*
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O.O
-We do what we must because we can; for the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead-

sakai4eva said:
That's not what you said when we did it to you.
*wink*
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You said you would tell nobody
*runsaway*

Hi!
Sent from my SGH-T959 using xda premium

VeryCoolAlan said:
Hi!
Sent from my SGH-T959 using xda premium
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Hi said Alan,
Who thinks he's cool indeed.
No said sakai,
Little fvcker will bleed.
Jump goes Alan,
Faster than a hare.
Meh said sakai,
His worst night-mare.
Fly, Alan, FLY!
Run away for good!
Heh, said sakai,
Turned him into dog food.
DISCLAIMER: read OP part about disservice.

...
From my fingers to your eyez

cdesai said:
...
From my fingers to your eyez
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ME: Hey.
cdesai: ...
I'm sorry man.
...
Look, I didn't meant for it to happen that way, man.
...
I'm sorry.
...
Stop looking at me like that. You're my friend, and I'd be here for you anyway.
...
Guilt isn't what kept me here. Loyalty is.
...
I'm really sorry.
...
Alright, alright! So it's my fault!
...
Just because I accidentally ripped your vocal chords out doesn't mean you should give me the silent treatment!

Forgot Something... Need help.

Guys,
I forgot my wife's Birthday what should i do to make upto her?

Sign the divorce papers.

A new Mercedes or a diamond necklace should suffice.
And do mark the date on your calender for next year. lol.

A cookbook.

063_XOBX said:
A cookbook.
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Ahh more sandwich recipies, I like your style.

Signing a death certificate is a better option LOL...
Come on guys a cookbook is not a option. Although i would love that sandwichs.

dude

Romantic dinner that you cooked for her?
Sent from my R800x using xda premium

Run.
Sent from my GT-N7000 using Tapatalk 2

ever been a time she forgot yours?

Quasimodem said:
ever been a time she forgot yours?
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Never... To make things worse i asked her to silent her mobile at 12 in night, as she was getting messages obviously... How stupid of me.

4silvertooth said:
Never...
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dang... you coulda used that... anything laying around looks like you just bought it?

Someting you could get for yourself, a good whore. Cause you ain't getting any for quite some time dude.
Don't bother with craigslist, torn up hoes. You need something to take your mind off the impending doom.
I know divorce ain't easy, I've been there. Watch War Of The Roses to get an idea. And take that advice for the next marriage.
Good luck.

A kitten. And cry saying that you couldn't find the right kitten for her in time for her birthday. Get the tears flowing.

Depending on your timezone the days not over yet... say you gotta take a dump you'll be right back... go pick something up... play it off...
Not sent from your phone...

Quasimodem said:
ever been a time she forgot yours?
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LOL
Don't matter
I've tried that card
...bout all you do now is grovel on the floor for scraps of forgiveness.
It's a slow and painful recovery my friend...slow and painful...
Plus it's one her favor take it from a 30 year man here...her's count yours don't.

Pretend to have a heart attack and when you're in the emergency room, explain everything to the doctor. Your wife comes in to see you and there you are in a hospital bed with a present for her.

veeman said:
A kitten. And cry saying that you couldn't find the right kitten for her in time for her birthday. Get the tears flowing.
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http://www.amazon.com/Kryolan-Tear-...1356237530&sr=8-1&keywords=kryolan+tear+stick
vasoline works for Glenn Beck

Invest in a lead codpiece.
Easier than it sounds, harder than it looks.

TheSkinnyDrummer said:
Invest in a lead codpiece.
Easier than it sounds, harder than it looks.
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Ever heard of lead poisoning? A trauma plate is clearly what's needed.