Database Develop

Funniest Pic Ever

With the current laws in the court system atm someone takes to the street to protest for one side and another for the other side who wins in this photo you decide
Note: hope this doesn't violate rules
Sent from my T-Mobile myTouch 3G Slide using XDA App

off topic section next time ....

Those are those nuts with the family where the gandpa is the crazy preacher and his congregation is his family of 60+ people. They protest soldiers funerals claiming god hates fags since gays are allowed in the military. Honestly this whole family needs to be taken out and shot. They even have their grand kids of 3-4 years old yelling all fags die, god hates fags, etc...... I swear I these guys lived in my town I would accidentally drop a cd on my car floor and jump up on the curb and mow em down one after the other.

maxpower097 said:
Those are those nuts with the family where the gandpa is the crazy preacher and his congregation is his family of 60+ people. They protest soldiers funerals claiming god hates fags since gays are allowed in the military. Honestly this whole family needs to be taken out and shot. They even have their grand kids of 3-4 years old yelling all fags die, god hates fags, etc...... I swear I these guys lived in my town I would accidentally drop a cd on my car floor and jump up on the curb and mow em down one after the other.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Crazy stuff.

hehehehehheeheheheh :d ahahaha

Guy on the left is in the closet.
good day.

I try not to get mad at anything, but the Westboro Baptist Church makes me want to do terrible things.

The stick figures on the sign made me literally LOL.

Zardos66 said:
I try not to get mad at anything, but the Westboro Baptist Church makes me want to do terrible things.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
The Church in general does terrible things. Two wrongs don't make a right after all, right?

But 3 rights make a left

And 4 make a square

lonelykatana said:
And 4 make a square
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
lol, thats bang on

JimJam707 said:
But 3 rights make a left
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
You mean 3 wrongs make a right

Back on off-topic, people are douches. I'm as straight as anyone you'll ever meet, but the dude on the right is my new hero.
EDIT: Prejudice makes me want to fling poo like a chimpanzee.

3 Word Story Put togethe CURRENTLY AT PAGE 55!!! (o'.')-o Q('.'Q)

Hello thought i'd put it all together to make it easier to read im still adding but feel free to help add to it
if you cant tell im bored :/ btw also added txt file if you want to add then re upload in []'s is extra info or bits i added to make sense in ()'s is things that were there but don't make much sense
Edit: quite offended by some of the iPad comments on here as im using my ipad for the story and pc for typing
The fat man ran twenty miles round and round until he fell and went to rehab for
falling then he got up and started to dance like a chinpanzee with a very very large
pen in his left pocket, then went to mexico where he dated a rather nice banana in
pinstripes who was suspiciously not what she wanted to eat.
Whilst that's happening far far away on a distant planet where the came back
from the plastic beach geting blown by a mexican guy using a very large thread
closing moderator who closed a very sticky situation.
"Get yourself into a mental rehab" Mcintyre was singing, to an iphone, then found XDA
whilst browsing porn and did stuff with his tiny girl friends hand which was also
another name for a transforming robot which has the power to transform and split into
a HUGELY big piece of junk, which is worthless. Sell it quickly otherwise it will be
an iPhone, then your buggered, unless you dance to the biggest rom chef here whilst
chugging some delicious apple juice, which you made trying to forget about your Apple
with a worm.
Her big headahe caused me agro deep inside my thought about going to get some new
super powers so i can fly to a place where stories end but they don't and continue to
be exruciatingly long when all i want is to smash an iphone over something realy a
work of art like WP7S.
Sink or swim like Captain Planet when he go crying like a dirty girl trying to find
a Golden HD2 party in vegas that had a funny thing attatched [PAGE 10] used for
blowing small little holes in walls and a train that stopped in the middle of the
intergalactic track which was littered with broken iphones which she always hated.
Dark cloudy skies only on Wednesdays or possibly Mondays when there is a spaceship
that used humans for thousands of years as an army to stop apple from taking over
Microsoft Windows Mobile because I love this amazing invention.
Chips glorious Chips wich i threw at your mum with a hot dog in a hallway and
slipped into ROM cooking frenzy but my device dropped into a pile of stinky rotting
apples which i'll eat after, whilst laughing at steve jobs who's such a smoking weed
dude who likes unicorns roasted with sauce on a shiny just washed underpant.
It's about time to watch 'The annoying Orange' advert thats should die very slowly
whilst creating non-lactoseintolerant cheese for his girl friend who likes things
bigger kind of like my big ego [PAGE 15] which also likes tobasco sauce on chilli
con carni and fish and chips in a house with no windows or any apples just palm and
android. Palm was bought by apple machintosh, a stupid brand who has milkshakes and
many cows.However, The cows like to smoke some candy ciggarets on the xda portal and
learn about how to ride starships into orbit whilst eating crispy Kentuck Fried
Chicken and then a big mac attack with fries and mcnugget grenades,whoppers, and
lemonade.
Meanwhile the starship crashed on steve Martin, not jobs, in the market on a sale.
Meanwhile the cockroach was singing with History Maker by Delirious and also with
post man pat, [who] squated and shat on the ipad, which was worse than a frickin
android and palm bad buisnes plan or better put Poop in a pan.
"4 Words bro" said Fallen Spartan laughing his head, Shooting the Armeter with her
hand and then jumped [PAGE 20] out of bed. What a voyage! What a Dream! to the other
side of the world through a wormhole chased the mole through the shoal of sweaty
clothes which then lead to the creation of the cyber phone which killed off
Steve jobs and Apple for good.
April fools day is the beggining to annoy people but its over, not next time because
the oldman died from non stop laughing of a joke about fishing boats and his desire
to feel free swimming in water [being] accused of man slaughter thinking why the
elephant ate a pink ribbon with a text in cuneiform script written in invisible,
about mac os4.0 and it's ability to crap without flushing the toilet and smell like
a decade old.
A new millennium with a giant appetite for apples didn't fill my pocket with lots.
Brush your teeth with a good and very brown chocolate mars bar that everyone hated
[PAGE 25]like an iphone, that people threw in the loo that was nasty just like poo
and like wee little green men [that] seem to run little leprachauns who are evil
No flights allowed due to ash and plane crashes which happened to no one any where.
How's this story going on untill now please advice, which i know makes no sence
but i don't involve myself in any meaningfull conversation [because it] would be
fruitless because he loved all the double posts [because it] help to increase
my post count so i can get 300 posts then get more, nothing to post because a
mod will make you cry for mama.(What the hell are we talking [about] in this thread?
(Simon posting crazy, pimple or boil?, for food or increased post count, no more
flashing, my eyes hurt so i need [to] go to specsavers and get a cool pair of Orsis
sunglasses, Please ban simon [PAGE 30] just because he is quadrupling his post count
haha)
(Feel like puking on this forum because it's something, something green yellow and
blue and that douche called me noobie as well all were once smoke to much simon
posts noncense he wont quit and keep posting read this post Please ban simon second
the motion y'all are mean we are not yes you are why you little amazingly handsome
person you wish buddy like the other no0b that went looking 4 a girlvery very
unlikley he gets love,in his dreams likley to be wet beond measure unless with a
rulerGramatical error encountered stop replying to "the frog went" [Nice try to
start the story again there by M_T_M ] everything i post no frog reply? whadaya
mean by frog)
"Anyway how are you doing today?" "I'm going to make out with your left hand"
also with my HD2 that i use for cooking dinner for my [PAGE 35] beautiful
HTC device.
Rock around the clock, 1 o'clock , no [it's] actualy 3, [oh wait] or maybe 4
when i went to kick (the) steve jobs because of his job trying to build a barbie
house out of iPad's on a piece of broken cardboard whichh happened to have a
HTC HD2 in it, [although] that was broken.
(i Hate braces by XDA forum)
Recieving a punch right at the nose of your very first wife "arhhhhhh~~!!!~!!"
she shout[ed] "pull it out" and kiss my three yellow zucchinis in my hand that i
punch[ed] you [with] in a private place leaving me unconcious because it's big.
(bad grammar again, btw afaic imnsho, speaking in tounges, with avatar accent)
Whilst texting friends from holy tree to a Wower ( Out of idea's hi mr.clown)
and Master Yoda, Shower he took in his pants, a dangerous weapon lurks waiting
for the use on (a hot laptop) an innocent person [and] an elderly woman
who was hot [PAGE 40] he then lol'ed at the age of 85.
Enjoy living in college, this big thing he found yesterday was round and long,
kind of smelly like a soccer ball, or baby even.
Keep her happy for 48 hours, (and) [also] the baby cried for candy that was
spicy and very sweet according to her tounge [which was] used for collecting
more samples, which enhances recreational activities during practice on
monday evenings, running around naked in his house.
(Dang your fast, your just old, but better looking, you wish @ , the age of
50 whilst im only 15 and good looking Beat that, bed ridden always, im sexy
and amazing and every one loves me, high on crack (obviously) and this old
, ignored by old)
The man mentioned in the OP is my bestfriend and also my dress is stained red
like those in my closet that look awful to me and (rock roll animal)
(a mi no me gusta rock musica) potatoes and goats.
[PAGE 45] like llamas and french calendar cookies who enjoy a good cup of
my new senior member memberness.
(that's cheating dude, that's completley right)
Once upon a time there was ( i like desire, i like me, sense made none
mocking you are, forgive me peace, i love u 2,)
Old school stuff is just a joke today from a clown who's named Bozo,
or Mr.Pennywise who makes funny jokes of lemons out of his list of
victims and People magazine [whilst] sharpening his knife [and]
gutting [a] big deer, thinking about stuff [like] the new iphone 4
(random iphone reference??) that was trashed by a gnome.
"Drink more beer" "Out of rum?"
(needs some posting, stop double postingn stop stopping me, you old man, why
i oughta)
Why don't you run like hell outa this website and [then] rush back because of
ORUD.
(whoever that is??, this still going??, amazingly yes continue,Anyway
where were we?, playing this game [PAGE 50], an ORUD is
obessesive Rom updating dissorder, game in overtime , or rolling ur dum butt,
that 3 plus,learn to count,Going party now, well deserved Orb,
arriving from party, welcome back orb.)
Nite, work tomorow,dance all night sleep
all day, Now @ work, i saw something /"\ hahaha, very mature indeed, and sometimes
childish, with some new direction of thinking, whil task 29 phone, when your strange,
strange what galaxys???, thats goors lyrics,obscure reference now, Nonsense funny
thread,)
Miliz is old (why you little) but wise enough to fry squirrels and eat them and
[then give] (gave) them to my hackintosh.
(yo quireo un Hackintosh,) one fine day,( with old men, what the hell, just happened
here?,) withh all this, insane music playin whilst vigrously touching a bald eagle
on a tree branch eating raw monkey flesh till [THE] (he) (grammatical error above)
teacher flunkeed (you) [him] whilst drinking something he doesnt like [PAGE 55]

Reserved for more

One more here

And one more to be safe (almost 200 pages in 4 posts if its completed

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahhaahahahaaaaaaa
Well don Macarony!!! Keep it up

We can have a best seller with that story.

Mr. Clown said:
We can have a best seller with that story.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
We should make a book out of it....i would buy it
Sent from my ADR6300 using XDA App

pretty f'n' funny.
good day.

hehe yeah publish it nd call it the story of off topic XDA or somthing better starting to some more just got back in

Update now got to page 50 !!!!
bracket () = junk
not mentioning names but it's mostly OG (guests i think), M_T_M and simon_WM just metioning
and were at 1585 words it could almost be a book and 8793 letters
(that might be incorect becaue ive tried 3 they all give me dif results )

Page 55
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

MacaronyMax said:
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
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Click to collapse
page 55 is the page where i first come in to the three word story!!!!

lol of topic a sec but how did you change your name ??

MacaronyMax said:
lol of topic a sec but how did you change your name ??
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
i contacted @mikechannon and asked him to do it for me!

Cool thanks

Geek food?

Hi guys can you list me food that make you think about geek? I need that for a project. Thanks
Sent from my Nexus One using XDA App

Alphabetical soup?

Fast food.

Chips and dip...i always seem to have that around
swyped from my cyanogenized and gingerbreaded EVO

Anything quick, us geeks are always busy doing something.
Or busy doing nothing, obesity should be a main characteristic of the fabled geek...yet it's been pretty clear to me that a lot of geeks I know are skinny, I have no clue why (I am included in the skinny statistic)

Snacks. Biscuits, crisps, chocolate bars, etc.

twitch153 said:
Anything quick, us geeks are always busy doing something.
Or busy doing nothing, obesity should be a main characteristic of the fabled geek...yet it's been pretty clear to me that a lot of geeks I know are skinny, I have no clue why (I am included in the skinny statistic)
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Us geeks have a fast metabolism, hence why we are skinny

jaszek said:
Us geeks have a fast metabolism, hence why we are skinny
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
True that! High five to not being Chubby wumpskins!!! (Fat people)

Burgers for me!

jaszek said:
Us geeks have a fast metabolism, hence why we are skinny
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Ahhh so that's why I never gain any weight......
Geek food you say..... hmm
Either.... microwave burritos or......
Oven roasted pork tenderloin with a herb and mustard crust, caramelised apples in a cider reduction with crushed potatoes and broad beans..... mmmm geek...
Then some pop tarts for dessert..
Sent from my fingers to your face...

twitch153 said:
True that! High five to not being Chubby wumpskins!!! (Fat people)
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
I notice that since I turned 18 my belly started to come out a bit more. Stopped growing up, and now I'm growing out .

jaszek said:
I notice that since I turned 18 my belly started to come out a bit more. Stopped growing up, and now I'm growing out .
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Watch out That junk food will bite you in the a$$ if you don't watch yourself and at least exercise haha

the first thing u find in the kitchen fast eat, or nothin geeks forget to eat or 2go to toillet

twitch153 said:
Watch out That junk food will bite you in the a$$ if you don't watch yourself and at least exercise haha
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
I noticed, I gained 20 pounds in the last 3/4ths of the year.

Best food for geeks:
1. Anything that I can eat in front of the monitor/keyboard
2. Something that is easy to clean off said monitor/keyboard
3. Something sweet and diabetic-coma inducing to wash it down

So a shadowrun themed cookbook with wyvern tail and spectral chips? I am a geek/cook so I can cook 18 hours in a day while going on my nexus one
Sent from my Nexus One using XDA App

Microwave burritos and Mountain Dew. Ultimate Geek food.
Special shout out to Jolt cola, but that was more for us vintage gamers

ramen
high energy (caffine) drinks

Red Bull (or Mother for the Aussies ) and pizza

Ur skinny? When was this???
twitch153 said:
Watch out That junk food will bite you in the a$$ if you don't watch yourself and at least exercise haha
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Sent from my T959 using XDA Premium App

King of the Hill

Ok. Im king of the hill. How are you going to become king and what are you going to do to remain there?
To start i have put up a 10ft wall surrounding myself.
Edit: I should have added you become king of the hill after your post.
Sent while riding a tauntan across the ice fields of Hoth

I have told my soldiers to get ladders and catapault and now they are climbing your walls and shooting you with their sword and poking you with their guns.
Sent from my LG-P500 using XDA Premium App

The poking from the guns and shooting of swords was not very effective so i was able to re-group. During my time away i learnt some ninjitsu which has enabled me to sneak in unseen and dispatch you. The hill is mine.
Sent while riding a tauntan across the ice fields of Hoth

While on my exile I found a new KungFu master (he has nice phone he can oc it to 2ghz) and learned how to defeat a ninjitsu Guy with a toothpick and I came I saw and I conquered. The hill is mine again.
Sent from my LG-P500 using XDA Premium App

I took a bulldozer and dug up the hill. Game Over.
I didn't write that. Prove it!!!

My all the avatar friend came and racked up your bulldozers and the hill was saved and made me the King of hill.
Sent from my LG-P500 using XDA Premium App

a bunch of lawyers arrive and baffle you with legal jargon you leave scratching your head as i take my place at the top of the hill. to try and secure my position i arrange for a castle and moat to be built.

I climb half way to the top of the hill, start invoking The Force, letting the power flow through me, electrifying you with my lightning, then removing you from the top of the hill using Force grip, throwing you down the hill. I them calmly continue to climb to the top. The hill is mine. An old Sith say: "There's no weakness, there's The Dark Side"
Sent from The Dark Side using the Sith mastery of The Force

forelli said:
I climb half way to the top of the hill, start invoking The Force, letting the power flow through me, electrifying you with my lightning, then removing you from the top of the hill using Force grip, throwing you down the hill. I them calmly continue to climb to the top. The hill is mine. An old Sith say: "There's no weakness, there's The Dark Side"
Sent from The Dark Side using the Sith mastery of The Force
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
i fly my military helicopter and shoot you down causing you to fall off the hill and i have an army guarding it

davidrules7778 said:
i fly my military helicopter and shoot you down causing you to fall off the hill and i have an army guarding it
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
i move a small band of rebels close to the hill, you scramble your helicopters which attack the wrong people.. something to do with the communication devices you were using not being compatible (probably made by apple?). the friendly fire incident leaves your troops in utter chaos allowing my small band of rebels to walk in and take the hill like candy from a baby.

You guys are crazy with all these complicated methods. Things are soo much simplier and easier......................just call Chuck Norris
Sent from my HTC Desire

dexter93 said:
You guys are crazy with all these complicated methods. Things are soo much simplier and easier......................just call Chuck Norris
Sent from my HTC Desire
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Might as well close this thread now. Nothing can trump Sir Chuck Norris.
Way to ruin the game.... hahah

Poor boy steps in a mound of fire ants. While spitting bolts of raid and burning them with the magnifying glass held in his third arm, I simply walk by the over zealous Chuck and take my place under a tree with a cup of coffee, my nook, and a spliff. Waiting for next charge I find peace.

RinZo said:
Might as well close this thread now. Nothing can trump Sir Chuck Norris.
Way to ruin the game.... hahah
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Don't you love the art of xda trolling with Chuck? I'm the master....
Sent from my HTC Desire

And I am back with earthquake creater monster machine and shook the whole hill and destroy all the castle and walls and someone sitting under a tree and all spammers now I am the king and I have transformers and terminator protecting the hill now.
Sent from my LG-P500 using XDA Premium App

I would love to be a mod so I could close this thread and remain king...but I'm not. So I'm posting and gaining kingship.
-Remember, Android hell is a real place and you will be sent there at the first sign of defiance-

twitch153 said:
I would love to be a mod so I could close this thread and remain king...but I'm not. So I'm posting and gaining kingship.
-Remember, Android hell is a real place and you will be sent there at the first sign of defiance-
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Sheesh. I am king of XDA's OT, hence in anything that is under MY province shall acknowledge me as king.
Kneel, or you will be made to kneel (mostly by me asking real nicely, pretty please with cherries and berries on top), to your King.

sakai4eva said:
Sheesh. I am king of XDA's OT, hence in anything that is under MY province shall acknowledge me as king.
Kneel, or you will be made to kneel (mostly by me asking real nicely, pretty please with cherries and berries on top), to your King.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
PFFFFT?! King?! My arse! You are a squire at most, your long absence has made you weak and lowered your rankings my good sir.
Now you will be brought down by the sword and made to profitable labor by the whip! (Or you can just continue making fun of Husam, whichever tickles your fancy) Don't tickle your fancy while I'm around, I get....uncomfortable.

If this thread is locked down I want all the thread like 3 word story,I'm back,banana family,random image to be locked down too said one of my terminator who is guiding the hill (he has got a phone from future and its really cool) I said shut up do your duty, I am still king of the hill.
Sent from my LG-P500 using XDA Premium App

twitch153 said:
PFFFFT?! King?! My arse! You are a squire at most, your long absence has made you weak and lowered your rankings my good sir.
Now you will be brought down by the sword and made to profitable labor by the whip! (Or you can just continue making fun of Husam, whichever tickles your fancy) Don't tickle your fancy while I'm around, I get....uncomfortable.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
You, my good sir, is most certainly wrong. I have long carved out my Kingship of XDA's off-topic with my rapier wit, broadsword trolling, hammering command of English, scalpel-like sarcasm, vice-hard poetry, brass-knuckle-duster-worthy teasing of Husam's virginity, arrow-straight love of Transformers pr0n and, most of all, my nuclear bomb power of the "Off-Topic Endless Loop" (patent pending).
As King, I have a most noble heritage and it is my right, and possibly my left too, to be THE KING!
And I shall not do manual labour.
4silvertooth said:
If this thread is locked down I want all the thread like 3 word story,I'm back,banana family,random image to be locked down too said one of my terminator who is guiding the hill (he has got a phone from future and its really cool) I said shut up do your duty, I am still king of the hill.
Sent from my LG-P500 using XDA Premium App
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
You shut up. Your King (me) demands it

[LOL]Post your Lame and Awesome Jokes.

Everyone posts a joke in this thread. Let's go~
Me first：
A man always cuts cheese when he wakes up every morning. His wife is unable to bear that anymore ，so she tells her husband："If you keep doing that, your bowels will be blown out from your body someday"
Of course her husband dosen't believes her words.He keeps farting every morning.
One morning,wife woke up while her husband was still in bed .She went to the market and bought some chicken and some chicken bowels.When she went back home , her husband was still sleeping. At that moment, an evil idea came into her mind. She filled all the chiken bowels into her sleeping husband's underwear then went into the kitchen.
After a moment ,her husband woke up with a scream and rushed into the bathroom. The woman was so glad that she punished her husband successfully.
30 mins later, her husband went out form the bathroom .
"You are right, honey. I am so sorry ,I didn't follow your words. That horrible thing just happend." Said the husband. "But now everything is all right ! I used my fingers and some petroleum jelly ,I think I just put all my bowels back into my body!"

i would give some but youd have to put up a disclaimer against depravitty on the thread title

I heard this one on the radio:
Have you heard of the octo-mom special going on at Denny's?
It comes with 14 eggs, no sausage and the guy next to you is footing the bill.

did anyone hear bout the dyslexic who walked into a bra?
no??
oh well anywy the other one then
theres this guy called jeff goes into a rooftop bar and orders a pint he starts drinking it
another guy comes over and says scotch is better, it can make you fly so jeff says of course it cant
so the other guy down a scotch and jump out the window and then walks back in minutes later
so jeff asks how does that work, the guy explains that if you down it fast it rasies body temperature therefore hot things rise and you float to safety
so the guys bins the pint orders a scotch drinks it, jump out the windows and smashes into the floor outside
the barkeep tuts looks round at the guy who manged yto complete the challenge and says "superman you really are a wanker when ur drunk"

Im a dyslexic agnostic insomniac...
I stay awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.

A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him kind of funny but decides to serve him anyway. He asks "Mr. Skeleton, what can I get you?". the Skeleton says "I'll have a beer and a mop".

Irish bloke goes for a job interview as a blacksmith.
Blacksmith asks "so then son, have you ever shoe'd a horse before"??
Irish bloke then replies "NO but I once told a donkey to F**K off"
I thank you.......

What do you do if you see a spaceman.................
Park in it man.....

I tried to walk into Target but I missed.
Q:Why did the Pope cross the road?
A:He crosses everything! (no offense to Catholics but I don't find this offensive and I'm Catholic.)
Guy: You want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Guy: Women's Rights (no offense to women)
Guy: You want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Guy: Civil Rights (no offense to people that find this offensive.)
Guy: You want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Guy: Steve Jobs
Guy: You want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Guy: iPad
Guy: You want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Guy: Apple's products
Knock Knock
Who's There
I eat mop
I eat mop who (sounds like I eat my poo if said aloud)
Q:Why do midgets laugh?
A: The grass tickles their balls.
If a bunch of midgets do the wave, would it be called the ripple?

She was only the admirals daughter, but her navel base was filled with discharged seamen...

Post the lamest jokes you can think of, and lets ROFL everyone!
I'll start:
What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
"Dam!"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to go to the other side.
Swyped from my HTC Sensation

Two cupcakes are sitting in an oven. One cupcakes turns to the other and says, "Man, it's hot in here." The other one looks at him and shouts, "AHHH!!!! A TALKING CUPCAKE!"

A horse walks in a bar and the bar tender asks him "why the long face?"

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "we can't serve your kind here". So the mushroom says "ah c'mon I'm a fun guy!"

What does a menstruating robot use to catch the bleeding?
An iPad.

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'."
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well........It's not unusual........."

What is a grasshopper's favorite sport?
Cricket.

Two oranges walk into a bar. One turns to the other and says, "You're round".

idavid_ said:
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to go to the other side.
Swyped from my HTC Sensation
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
This is so stupid I lol
Sent from my SGH-T959 using XDA App