Database Develop

Funniest Pic Ever

With the current laws in the court system atm someone takes to the street to protest for one side and another for the other side who wins in this photo you decide
Note: hope this doesn't violate rules
Sent from my T-Mobile myTouch 3G Slide using XDA App

off topic section next time ....

Those are those nuts with the family where the gandpa is the crazy preacher and his congregation is his family of 60+ people. They protest soldiers funerals claiming god hates fags since gays are allowed in the military. Honestly this whole family needs to be taken out and shot. They even have their grand kids of 3-4 years old yelling all fags die, god hates fags, etc...... I swear I these guys lived in my town I would accidentally drop a cd on my car floor and jump up on the curb and mow em down one after the other.

maxpower097 said:
Those are those nuts with the family where the gandpa is the crazy preacher and his congregation is his family of 60+ people. They protest soldiers funerals claiming god hates fags since gays are allowed in the military. Honestly this whole family needs to be taken out and shot. They even have their grand kids of 3-4 years old yelling all fags die, god hates fags, etc...... I swear I these guys lived in my town I would accidentally drop a cd on my car floor and jump up on the curb and mow em down one after the other.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Crazy stuff.

hehehehehheeheheheh :d ahahaha

Guy on the left is in the closet.
good day.

I try not to get mad at anything, but the Westboro Baptist Church makes me want to do terrible things.

The stick figures on the sign made me literally LOL.

Zardos66 said:
I try not to get mad at anything, but the Westboro Baptist Church makes me want to do terrible things.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
The Church in general does terrible things. Two wrongs don't make a right after all, right?

But 3 rights make a left

And 4 make a square

lonelykatana said:
And 4 make a square
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Click to collapse
lol, thats bang on

JimJam707 said:
But 3 rights make a left
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
You mean 3 wrongs make a right

Back on off-topic, people are douches. I'm as straight as anyone you'll ever meet, but the dude on the right is my new hero.
EDIT: Prejudice makes me want to fling poo like a chimpanzee.

3 Word Story Put togethe CURRENTLY AT PAGE 55!!! (o'.')-o Q('.'Q)

Hello thought i'd put it all together to make it easier to read im still adding but feel free to help add to it
if you cant tell im bored :/ btw also added txt file if you want to add then re upload in []'s is extra info or bits i added to make sense in ()'s is things that were there but don't make much sense
Edit: quite offended by some of the iPad comments on here as im using my ipad for the story and pc for typing
The fat man ran twenty miles round and round until he fell and went to rehab for
falling then he got up and started to dance like a chinpanzee with a very very large
pen in his left pocket, then went to mexico where he dated a rather nice banana in
pinstripes who was suspiciously not what she wanted to eat.
Whilst that's happening far far away on a distant planet where the came back
from the plastic beach geting blown by a mexican guy using a very large thread
closing moderator who closed a very sticky situation.
"Get yourself into a mental rehab" Mcintyre was singing, to an iphone, then found XDA
whilst browsing porn and did stuff with his tiny girl friends hand which was also
another name for a transforming robot which has the power to transform and split into
a HUGELY big piece of junk, which is worthless. Sell it quickly otherwise it will be
an iPhone, then your buggered, unless you dance to the biggest rom chef here whilst
chugging some delicious apple juice, which you made trying to forget about your Apple
with a worm.
Her big headahe caused me agro deep inside my thought about going to get some new
super powers so i can fly to a place where stories end but they don't and continue to
be exruciatingly long when all i want is to smash an iphone over something realy a
work of art like WP7S.
Sink or swim like Captain Planet when he go crying like a dirty girl trying to find
a Golden HD2 party in vegas that had a funny thing attatched [PAGE 10] used for
blowing small little holes in walls and a train that stopped in the middle of the
intergalactic track which was littered with broken iphones which she always hated.
Dark cloudy skies only on Wednesdays or possibly Mondays when there is a spaceship
that used humans for thousands of years as an army to stop apple from taking over
Microsoft Windows Mobile because I love this amazing invention.
Chips glorious Chips wich i threw at your mum with a hot dog in a hallway and
slipped into ROM cooking frenzy but my device dropped into a pile of stinky rotting
apples which i'll eat after, whilst laughing at steve jobs who's such a smoking weed
dude who likes unicorns roasted with sauce on a shiny just washed underpant.
It's about time to watch 'The annoying Orange' advert thats should die very slowly
whilst creating non-lactoseintolerant cheese for his girl friend who likes things
bigger kind of like my big ego [PAGE 15] which also likes tobasco sauce on chilli
con carni and fish and chips in a house with no windows or any apples just palm and
android. Palm was bought by apple machintosh, a stupid brand who has milkshakes and
many cows.However, The cows like to smoke some candy ciggarets on the xda portal and
learn about how to ride starships into orbit whilst eating crispy Kentuck Fried
Chicken and then a big mac attack with fries and mcnugget grenades,whoppers, and
lemonade.
Meanwhile the starship crashed on steve Martin, not jobs, in the market on a sale.
Meanwhile the cockroach was singing with History Maker by Delirious and also with
post man pat, [who] squated and shat on the ipad, which was worse than a frickin
android and palm bad buisnes plan or better put Poop in a pan.
"4 Words bro" said Fallen Spartan laughing his head, Shooting the Armeter with her
hand and then jumped [PAGE 20] out of bed. What a voyage! What a Dream! to the other
side of the world through a wormhole chased the mole through the shoal of sweaty
clothes which then lead to the creation of the cyber phone which killed off
Steve jobs and Apple for good.
April fools day is the beggining to annoy people but its over, not next time because
the oldman died from non stop laughing of a joke about fishing boats and his desire
to feel free swimming in water [being] accused of man slaughter thinking why the
elephant ate a pink ribbon with a text in cuneiform script written in invisible,
about mac os4.0 and it's ability to crap without flushing the toilet and smell like
a decade old.
A new millennium with a giant appetite for apples didn't fill my pocket with lots.
Brush your teeth with a good and very brown chocolate mars bar that everyone hated
[PAGE 25]like an iphone, that people threw in the loo that was nasty just like poo
and like wee little green men [that] seem to run little leprachauns who are evil
No flights allowed due to ash and plane crashes which happened to no one any where.
How's this story going on untill now please advice, which i know makes no sence
but i don't involve myself in any meaningfull conversation [because it] would be
fruitless because he loved all the double posts [because it] help to increase
my post count so i can get 300 posts then get more, nothing to post because a
mod will make you cry for mama.(What the hell are we talking [about] in this thread?
(Simon posting crazy, pimple or boil?, for food or increased post count, no more
flashing, my eyes hurt so i need [to] go to specsavers and get a cool pair of Orsis
sunglasses, Please ban simon [PAGE 30] just because he is quadrupling his post count
haha)
(Feel like puking on this forum because it's something, something green yellow and
blue and that douche called me noobie as well all were once smoke to much simon
posts noncense he wont quit and keep posting read this post Please ban simon second
the motion y'all are mean we are not yes you are why you little amazingly handsome
person you wish buddy like the other no0b that went looking 4 a girlvery very
unlikley he gets love,in his dreams likley to be wet beond measure unless with a
rulerGramatical error encountered stop replying to "the frog went" [Nice try to
start the story again there by M_T_M ] everything i post no frog reply? whadaya
mean by frog)
"Anyway how are you doing today?" "I'm going to make out with your left hand"
also with my HD2 that i use for cooking dinner for my [PAGE 35] beautiful
HTC device.
Rock around the clock, 1 o'clock , no [it's] actualy 3, [oh wait] or maybe 4
when i went to kick (the) steve jobs because of his job trying to build a barbie
house out of iPad's on a piece of broken cardboard whichh happened to have a
HTC HD2 in it, [although] that was broken.
(i Hate braces by XDA forum)
Recieving a punch right at the nose of your very first wife "arhhhhhh~~!!!~!!"
she shout[ed] "pull it out" and kiss my three yellow zucchinis in my hand that i
punch[ed] you [with] in a private place leaving me unconcious because it's big.
(bad grammar again, btw afaic imnsho, speaking in tounges, with avatar accent)
Whilst texting friends from holy tree to a Wower ( Out of idea's hi mr.clown)
and Master Yoda, Shower he took in his pants, a dangerous weapon lurks waiting
for the use on (a hot laptop) an innocent person [and] an elderly woman
who was hot [PAGE 40] he then lol'ed at the age of 85.
Enjoy living in college, this big thing he found yesterday was round and long,
kind of smelly like a soccer ball, or baby even.
Keep her happy for 48 hours, (and) [also] the baby cried for candy that was
spicy and very sweet according to her tounge [which was] used for collecting
more samples, which enhances recreational activities during practice on
monday evenings, running around naked in his house.
(Dang your fast, your just old, but better looking, you wish @ , the age of
50 whilst im only 15 and good looking Beat that, bed ridden always, im sexy
and amazing and every one loves me, high on crack (obviously) and this old
, ignored by old)
The man mentioned in the OP is my bestfriend and also my dress is stained red
like those in my closet that look awful to me and (rock roll animal)
(a mi no me gusta rock musica) potatoes and goats.
[PAGE 45] like llamas and french calendar cookies who enjoy a good cup of
my new senior member memberness.
(that's cheating dude, that's completley right)
Once upon a time there was ( i like desire, i like me, sense made none
mocking you are, forgive me peace, i love u 2,)
Old school stuff is just a joke today from a clown who's named Bozo,
or Mr.Pennywise who makes funny jokes of lemons out of his list of
victims and People magazine [whilst] sharpening his knife [and]
gutting [a] big deer, thinking about stuff [like] the new iphone 4
(random iphone reference??) that was trashed by a gnome.
"Drink more beer" "Out of rum?"
(needs some posting, stop double postingn stop stopping me, you old man, why
i oughta)
Why don't you run like hell outa this website and [then] rush back because of
ORUD.
(whoever that is??, this still going??, amazingly yes continue,Anyway
where were we?, playing this game [PAGE 50], an ORUD is
obessesive Rom updating dissorder, game in overtime , or rolling ur dum butt,
that 3 plus,learn to count,Going party now, well deserved Orb,
arriving from party, welcome back orb.)
Nite, work tomorow,dance all night sleep
all day, Now @ work, i saw something /"\ hahaha, very mature indeed, and sometimes
childish, with some new direction of thinking, whil task 29 phone, when your strange,
strange what galaxys???, thats goors lyrics,obscure reference now, Nonsense funny
thread,)
Miliz is old (why you little) but wise enough to fry squirrels and eat them and
[then give] (gave) them to my hackintosh.
(yo quireo un Hackintosh,) one fine day,( with old men, what the hell, just happened
here?,) withh all this, insane music playin whilst vigrously touching a bald eagle
on a tree branch eating raw monkey flesh till [THE] (he) (grammatical error above)
teacher flunkeed (you) [him] whilst drinking something he doesnt like [PAGE 55]

Reserved for more

One more here

And one more to be safe (almost 200 pages in 4 posts if its completed

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahhaahahahaaaaaaa
Well don Macarony!!! Keep it up

We can have a best seller with that story.

Mr. Clown said:
We can have a best seller with that story.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
We should make a book out of it....i would buy it
Sent from my ADR6300 using XDA App

pretty f'n' funny.
good day.

hehe yeah publish it nd call it the story of off topic XDA or somthing better starting to some more just got back in

Update now got to page 50 !!!!
bracket () = junk
not mentioning names but it's mostly OG (guests i think), M_T_M and simon_WM just metioning
and were at 1585 words it could almost be a book and 8793 letters
(that might be incorect becaue ive tried 3 they all give me dif results )

Page 55
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

MacaronyMax said:
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
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Click to collapse
page 55 is the page where i first come in to the three word story!!!!

lol of topic a sec but how did you change your name ??

MacaronyMax said:
lol of topic a sec but how did you change your name ??
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
i contacted @mikechannon and asked him to do it for me!

Cool thanks

Post ur joke

If this is repost my bad post ur joke and if u want rank the joke before you
What do call a blonde brunette blonde
A blonde doing a cartwheel
Sent from my GT-I9000 using XDA App

Ahahaha! That joke is funy but wrong

What do blondes and railroad tracks have in common theyve both been laid all over america
Sent from my GT-I9000 using XDA App
Sorry blonde jokes stuck in my head at this time

A blonde is driving down the highway, and hears a radio announcement
"Emergency Announcement: There is a car driving the wrong way, please drive with caution"
The blond looks out her window and say "One? All of these idiots are driving the wrong way."

Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on her head?
A: All you can eat under a buck.

Okay doesnt have to be blonde jokes thats just what popped in my head
Sent from my GT-I9000 using XDA App

shadowscreation said:
Okay doesnt have to be blonde jokes thats just what popped in my head
Sent from my GT-I9000 using XDA App
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
A blonde stopped and asked a girl what time it was. The girl said it was 12:33. The blonde got pissed and said, "Every time I ask someone that, they give me a different answer. WTF?"

Mr goodbar took mrs figbar to the power house and laid her down on a mounds.
He stuck his butterfinger into her molly way and she cried out oh henry! And out popped a baby ruth
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I897 using XDA App

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.'
His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'It's fart football.'
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says 'Touchdown, tie score.'
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.' Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.' Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on the old man.He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally ****s the bed..The wife says, 'What the hell was that?' The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides.'
Sent from my GT-I9000 using XDA App

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A: A Rooster says in the Morning - "Cockll-doodlle-doooooo", while a blonde shouts, "Any-****'ll-doooo."

A koala is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks
past and looks up and says to the koala "Hey! What are you doing?"
The koala says "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."
So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have
a few joints. After a while the little lizard says his mouth is dry' and
is going to get a drink from the river.
The little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into
the river. A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and
helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard, "What's the matter
with you?"
The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking
a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into
the river while taking a drink. The crocodile says he has to check this
out and walks into the forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting
finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!"
The koala looks down and says
"Damn dude.......how much water did you drink?!!"

Oh I have a joke but listen very carefully.....
XDA

Try and catch your shadow if it insists.

Why did the crip cross the road?
CUZ

Man goes to the Doctors:
Doctor - "I'm sorry, it's Cancer"
Man - "How long do i have?"
Doctor - "Five"
Man - "Five? Five What? Five Years? Five Months? Five WEEKS?"
Doctor - "....Four, Three, Two, One...."

Dad

[LOL]Post your Lame and Awesome Jokes.

Everyone posts a joke in this thread. Let's go~
Me first：
A man always cuts cheese when he wakes up every morning. His wife is unable to bear that anymore ，so she tells her husband："If you keep doing that, your bowels will be blown out from your body someday"
Of course her husband dosen't believes her words.He keeps farting every morning.
One morning,wife woke up while her husband was still in bed .She went to the market and bought some chicken and some chicken bowels.When she went back home , her husband was still sleeping. At that moment, an evil idea came into her mind. She filled all the chiken bowels into her sleeping husband's underwear then went into the kitchen.
After a moment ,her husband woke up with a scream and rushed into the bathroom. The woman was so glad that she punished her husband successfully.
30 mins later, her husband went out form the bathroom .
"You are right, honey. I am so sorry ,I didn't follow your words. That horrible thing just happend." Said the husband. "But now everything is all right ! I used my fingers and some petroleum jelly ,I think I just put all my bowels back into my body!"

i would give some but youd have to put up a disclaimer against depravitty on the thread title

I heard this one on the radio:
Have you heard of the octo-mom special going on at Denny's?
It comes with 14 eggs, no sausage and the guy next to you is footing the bill.

did anyone hear bout the dyslexic who walked into a bra?
no??
oh well anywy the other one then
theres this guy called jeff goes into a rooftop bar and orders a pint he starts drinking it
another guy comes over and says scotch is better, it can make you fly so jeff says of course it cant
so the other guy down a scotch and jump out the window and then walks back in minutes later
so jeff asks how does that work, the guy explains that if you down it fast it rasies body temperature therefore hot things rise and you float to safety
so the guys bins the pint orders a scotch drinks it, jump out the windows and smashes into the floor outside
the barkeep tuts looks round at the guy who manged yto complete the challenge and says "superman you really are a wanker when ur drunk"

Im a dyslexic agnostic insomniac...
I stay awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.

A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him kind of funny but decides to serve him anyway. He asks "Mr. Skeleton, what can I get you?". the Skeleton says "I'll have a beer and a mop".

Irish bloke goes for a job interview as a blacksmith.
Blacksmith asks "so then son, have you ever shoe'd a horse before"??
Irish bloke then replies "NO but I once told a donkey to F**K off"
I thank you.......

What do you do if you see a spaceman.................
Park in it man.....

I tried to walk into Target but I missed.
Q:Why did the Pope cross the road?
A:He crosses everything! (no offense to Catholics but I don't find this offensive and I'm Catholic.)
Guy: You want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Guy: Women's Rights (no offense to women)
Guy: You want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Guy: Civil Rights (no offense to people that find this offensive.)
Guy: You want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Guy: Steve Jobs
Guy: You want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Guy: iPad
Guy: You want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Guy: Apple's products
Knock Knock
Who's There
I eat mop
I eat mop who (sounds like I eat my poo if said aloud)
Q:Why do midgets laugh?
A: The grass tickles their balls.
If a bunch of midgets do the wave, would it be called the ripple?

She was only the admirals daughter, but her navel base was filled with discharged seamen...

Post the lamest jokes you can think of, and lets ROFL everyone!
I'll start:
What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
"Dam!"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to go to the other side.
Swyped from my HTC Sensation

Two cupcakes are sitting in an oven. One cupcakes turns to the other and says, "Man, it's hot in here." The other one looks at him and shouts, "AHHH!!!! A TALKING CUPCAKE!"

A horse walks in a bar and the bar tender asks him "why the long face?"

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "we can't serve your kind here". So the mushroom says "ah c'mon I'm a fun guy!"

What does a menstruating robot use to catch the bleeding?
An iPad.

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'."
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well........It's not unusual........."

What is a grasshopper's favorite sport?
Cricket.

Two oranges walk into a bar. One turns to the other and says, "You're round".

idavid_ said:
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to go to the other side.
Swyped from my HTC Sensation
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
This is so stupid I lol
Sent from my SGH-T959 using XDA App

Assassinate the person above you!

RULE CHANGE!
No more rules! The person above you is your target! Take them out!
Now ladies and gentlemen, eliminate your targets!

Been done before and was closed then too. Reason being that we dont really need umpteen x the person above you threads.
Sent From My Fingers To Your Face.....

Unlocked as prior consent was given...
My bad.
Sent From My Fingers To Your Face.....

XDA has hired me to exterminate conantroutman, as his auto-terminate thread programming has gone haywire and must be...................
A lethal toxin has been sprayed on his laptops keyboard, and he shall die a slow agonizing death over the next several days.

i have hired myself to kill travisbean . he makes crap statements which he thinks are jokes ... a machine gun has been kept in place near the fields where he comes to graze ( see his avatar) he will be shot at site ....doing so i will free the earth from a joke-noob ( person who doesnt know what jokes are )

-RDR- said:
i have hired myself to kill travisbean . he makes crap statements which he thinks are jokes ... a machine gun has been kept in place near the fields where he comes to graze ( see his avatar) he will be shot at site ....doing so i will free the earth from a joke-noob ( person who doesnt know what jokes are )
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
The XDA community hired me to assasinate -RDR- for being a hater.
I shall cut off the first 5 layers of his skin on the bottom of his feet.
Show him the exit (which he wouldn't be able to get to unless he walks 1 mile barefoot on top of lots of glass shards)
As I am firing my 357 at him.

I have been hired to assassinate mznatnat as she has a gun in her profile picture!

matt4321 said:
I have been hired to assassinate mznatnat as she has a gun in her profile picture!
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
StormMcCloud has hired roofrider to terminate u because u failed to read and adhere to the OP by not explaining how u did ur job.
How is roofrider gonna get u? Nvm, u probably were unsuccessful with ur last job, so that means mznatnat has already gone Chainsaw Massacre on u and roofrider just walks in and makes sure ur done.

roofrider said:
StormMcCloud has hired roofrider to terminate u because u failed to read and adhere to the OP by not explaining how u did ur job.
How is roofrider gonna get u? Nvm, u probably were unsuccessful with ur last job, so that means mznatnat has already gone Chainsaw Massacre on u and roofrider just walks in and makes sure ur done.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
I have been hired to kill roofrider because he has been slacking on his job.
I will throw tomatoes at him until dies.

I've been hired to kill veeman because he has stolen a large amount of tomatoes from the federation of China.
I will make him dance on legos, and watch him die. :angel:

I have been hired by France to kill ArmorD because he has a Swiss flag and they do not like Swiss Cheese.
I wait until I see him walking alone down an empty street and I shoot him with a tranquilizer dart. He wakes up to find himself hanging above a tank of sharks who haven't eaten in 4 days. I make two large cuts on his calf muscles and drop him into the tank where the sharks devour him.

I've been hired by the Leader of Zombie Pandas to kill StormMcCloud to eliminate a rival zombie gang.
After i watched him kill ArmorD i got an even better idea. I drop him into a giant fish tank filled with hundreds of Irukandji (most venomous jellyfish)..it might not kill him but lets him suffer for days, the most excruciating pain.. burning sensation all over the body(he'll wish he was dead). If that does not kill him after a week i'll have 2 box jellyfishs come over and sting him and he's history.

I've been hired to kill roofrider by Hellboy because I do the funny stuff
I'll kill him at work with a old-fashioned nokia who is gonna smash his head and he'll never know because I'm invisible
Sent from my heart using Xperia X8

I have been hired to kill X8invisible13 by the Legion of Doom for his constant attempts to join their ranks.
I created and rigged a contest in which the winner would get a free Lamborghini and I made sure that X8invisible13 was the winner. Unbeknownst to him I strapped a bomb to the bottom of the car. He was allowed to do 3 laps around Road Atlanta in the car and as soon as it hit 88mph BOOM he was obliterated.

Rules changed!

StormMcCloud has changed the rules and must now be taken out in a horrible fashion. He will be stripped down, tied up, and covered in honey. Then he will be hung upside down in the woods until the mosquitos suck all his blood out of his body.

WiredPirate will have a cannon tied to his legs and dropped into briny depths of Davy Jones' Locker.

StormMcCloud ironically killed by lightning gun.

063_XOBX gets electrocuted and dies trying to fix his RROD.

WiredPirate said:
063_XOBX gets electrocuted and dies trying to fix his RROD.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
WiredPirate suffers a very slow and painful death by skrillex.