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How do I use this program to catch my boyfriend sneaking text messages? In his account, you can see what time he sent and received them, but it will not show what the message said or anything because he deletes them. He is not the greatest boyfriend in the world, but I can't seem to leave him. I just have to prove that he is cheating behind my back in order to be strong enough to leave him.
Damn... Can't you just ask him? You have to sneak around too? Besides if you feel he's not totally honest, that means you dont trust him. Tough call
Cheers.
crazygirliegirl said:
How do I use this program to catch my boyfriend sneaking text messages? In his account, you can see what time he sent and received them, but it will not show what the message said or anything because he deletes them. He is not the greatest boyfriend in the world, but I can't seem to leave him. I just have to prove that he is cheating behind my back in order to be strong enough to leave him.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Stop messing around and dump the loser.
Interesting question. Bottom line is if you don't trust your boyfriend software isn't going to help.
If you DID read something he received which sounded flirty, it would not prove anything, it could be in fun or you just may not understand the context. If you read something he sent, the same applies.
So if you did read something, it would probably just leave you with more questions. Finally, people do cheat without ever exchanging phone numbers!
If you don't trust him, dump him and find someone you do trust.
Ok, this maybe belongs more to the off-topic
Cheers,
vlodeck.
crazygirliegirl said:
How do I use this program to catch my boyfriend sneaking text messages? In his account, you can see what time he sent and received them, but it will not show what the message said or anything because he deletes them. He is not the greatest boyfriend in the world, but I can't seem to leave him. I just have to prove that he is cheating behind my back in order to be strong enough to leave him.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
contact "Cheaters"
I think she's one of those girlies that are "wowed" by the boyfriend
Girly... honey... have you checked out the neighbour? Or that Starbucks barista? Well, here's a free tip for you: Both of them can f*&k you just as well if not better than your current manwhore.
Okay I just thought up a little game that can get amusing or funny depending on what the person in the next post says. All you have to do is answer the question above then ask your own "What-if" question. Just make your question in bold so everyone can see it quickly. Your reply to the question above you can be answered any way you'd like, if you seriously cant answer it(or the question is just plain stupid) then just say pass and post the question you wanted to ask.
MODS REMOVE ASAP IF: You don't approve, things get a little much, or this just turns into a cesspool of flames.
What if, the iPhone never came to the party?
What if, John F. Kennedy was never shot?
What if, Men never had nipples?
Choose this thread's destiny wisely
~~Tito~~ said:
Okay I just thought up a little game that can get amusing or funny depending on what the person in the next post says. All you have to do is answer the question above then ask your own "What-if" question. Just make your question in bold so everyone can see it quickly. Your reply to the question above you can be answered any way you'd like, if you seriously cant answer it(or the question is just plain stupid) then just say pass and post the question you wanted to ask.
MODS REMOVE ASAP IF: You don't approve, things get a little much, or this just turns into a cesspool of flames.
What if, the iPhone never came to the party?
What if, John F. Kennedy was never shot?
What if, Men never had nipples?
Choose this thread's destiny wisely
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
What if this thread never happened?
I would have probably lurcked some more on here and just posted a bit.
What if, 2 girls 1 cup was never concieved?
I probably wouldn't have lost my lunch on that fatal day that someone sent me the link.
What if the UK decided to switch from Pounds Sterling to Euros?
We'd still get screwed on the exchange rate
What if dinosaurs had not become extinct?
We wouldn't have to worry about getting screwed on the exchange rate
What if, the internet stopped working
There would be a ridiculous moral panic.
What if more people decided to play this game?
We might laugh sooner or later.
What if, it was okay to marry a whore but not a good girl?
What if XDA-DEVS never existed.......
Probably I would be using Android....
orb3000 said:
What if XDA-DEVS never existed.......
Probably I would be using Android....
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
and once again orb ruins it all by not following suit
p.s. ~~Tito~~...[lease keep it clean
So what if I never made this post??
Whoops
If you never made this post I wouldnt have realized that I contradicted my own rules .
What if apple was HTC and HTC was apple?
Meaning they are the same but with different personalities.
What if
Then every one would love apple and trow htc away and make fun of it
What if there was a cheep career??
There is, its called being a McDonalds manager.
What if, the world was slowly ending right now?
[Some sort of meteor or disaster happens on the other side of the world and it will take time for death to reach us]
~~Tito~~ said:
There is, its called being a McDonalds manager.
What if, the world was slowly ending right now?
[Some sort of meteor or disaster happens on the other side of the world and it will take time for death to reach us]
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Then I'd blow all my money away and enjoy myself on the best holiday ever with my family
So what if you invented a time machine......where would you go & why?
I would go back to the date April 1, 1976 and destroyed apple from forming
What if time didn't exist?
It would look a lot more like RPGs.
What if Google suddenly went down forever?
I would loose my email, and loose hope as apple dominates everything. Then id settle and get an iPhone. . .Internet search would be forever ****ty and would never be as good and simple as Google. Yahoo would probably dominate again as thats what people used before Google became popular.
What if, we found intelligent life on another planet?
Then Apple would send a team out to see how marketable their latest product is in the far out universe!
What if Barack Obama wasn't the president of the United States?
I know I'm British and have no interest whatsoever, but I think it's fun to throw that question in the ring
Hilary would come out of the closet at the inauguration .
What if, we never had violins?
Then we wouldn't have guitars
What if, you wake up and find out that everyone has died of a disease and you are the only one left on this world?
There’s this guy at work and nearly every time he e-mails me, he CC’s my supervisor.
It’s really annoying because that leads to my supervisor getting involved in things that really are none of his concern.
My supervisor is already a micromanager and very reactionary (always assumes that if he's being asked about something that someone's not doing their job)
Also the guy who's doing this is one of those people who loves to get involved in other people's projects and pretend to be a part of them, so that leads to people going to him for status updates instead of me.
Any advice on getting him to stop in a diplomatic way without it pissing them off or putting him in a position to want to "step it up" and get back at me?
Stonent said:
There’s this guy at work and nearly every time he e-mails me, he CC’s my supervisor.
It’s really annoying because that leads to my supervisor getting involved in things that really are none of his concern.
My supervisor is already a micromanager and very reactionary (always assumes that if he's being asked about something that someone's not doing their job)
Also the guy who's doing this is one of those people who loves to get involved in other people's projects and pretend to be a part of them, so that leads to people going to him for status updates instead of me.
Any advice on getting him to stop in a diplomatic way without it pissing them off or putting him in a position to want to "step it up" and get back at me?
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Send him an e-mail that'll be very embarassing to CC all over the place.
Actually, these kind of people are quite dangerous, because they like to keep their backs covered. So be careful.
One thing I'd like to find out is, ultimately, what is the gripe? Is the CC annoying you, or the CC annoying your boss and then your boss annoys you? Finding out the root cause of a problem instead of treating the symptoms will be way better.
FIght him like a man, next to the water cooler
jaszek said:
FIght him like a man, next to the water cooler
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Psh... real men fight with keyboards. May the man with the heaviest (1982-circa clickety keyboard) wins!
Spill coffee in his workstation so his computer dies a slow smoking death. Then take everything in his cube and freeze it in jello. Then put pictures of a small penis in the womens restrooms with his name all over it.
pm me his and your boss email, ill email him gayporn and cc your boss
kdj67f said:
Spill coffee in his workstation so his computer dies a slow smoking death. Then take everything in his cube and freeze it in jello. Then put pictures of a small penis in the womens restrooms with his name all over it.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Y'know... I'd pay good money (ok, at least a buck or two) to see that.
Seriously, the dude's a loser and a trouble maker (as has been said up-thread). My advice would be to either completely cut him out of the process (death by starvation) or go further up the chain of command with materials and documentation and complain (death from above). Remember, there comes a point where the job isn't worth the hassle and frustration.
I had similar problem.
My boss is female. My colleague is male and trying to make his mark. I have one day every week when I work from a different office. He waits till I'm not around to ***** about me with her. I am more senior and better at the job. Even though she trusts me implicitly, it still annoys me that the guy is behaving like a little prick. He asks to have days off in the most busy times and only asks her when I'm not around; as if I would say no! I can cope with the work on my own and nobody asks him for anything if I'm around.
When he's done the *****ing thing 3 times I've blown my top with the two of them, collected some reports on all the works I've done and threatened to leave. They would/could not get anyone cheaper and with the same level of knowledge and control. The emails stopped and now, as long as he does not mess the work too much, I cannot care less what he does. I do my work and **** a snoot at the rest.
Cheers!
Unplug all the fans but a couple from his PC so it dies a slow painful death
He is probably a sociopath. These people are all around us. They're completely functional and often successful. They're not psychopaths, they won't start killing people. But they have no regard for the feelings and troubles of others. They will lie, cheat, manipulate their way to the top by any means necessary. Thats who you're probably dealing with. (There was this GREAT article by a big name psychiatrist on workspace sociopaths on reddit a while back but I can't find it, sorry)
Now, I've learned through experience that these people exploit the **** out of "diplomacy". They take advantage of the fact that you don't want to make a big thing out of this, they KNOW you wan't to keep a low profile and they exploit that weakness to bully you. Dealing with bullies is easy. Just walk up to him and tell him to stop. Flat out, plain and simple stop. Let him know crystal clear that you know what he's doing and you want him to stop. No diplomacy.
You could also fight fire with fire.
This will have repercussions ofcourse. It might mean going into a stupid office politics "war" with the guy. So think about it and choose whats right for your particular situation. But keep in mind that these abuses tend to increase and it will get to a point that it will make your worklife miserable. Its best to deal with it early and make the ****er know that it will cost him to **** with you and he better go find someone else.
OR I could be wrong and the guy is just advocating for transparency in the company (Doubt it. He only CCs your boss, not others.)
I say find him after work and beat his ass. Then pretend nothing happened when you are at work.
Definitely an option. But be very careful cause its really ****ing illegal >_>
With personal experience the proper way to handle hostile problems is to report it to management and human resources. But keep in mind that you also have to work with these people to so cool down before you say something that makes you look like the ass.
Sent from my PC36100 using XDA Premium App
My boss always CC's his goddamn boss when he emails me. Grinds my gears
Sent from the fireproof HTC Inspire 4G
natious said:
pm me his and your boss email, ill email him gayporn and cc your boss
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
one and only real(and legal) solution , invite to gay clubs too just to "hang out"
also , do it while pretending to be a colleague sending from home address , keep doing till he stops
natious said:
pm me his and your boss email, ill email him gayporn and cc your boss
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
This made my weekend.
Sent from my HTC Glacier using XDA App
I know these types of people all too well. Having dealt with some myself. these people are not top be trusted, they can't wait to pull the rug right under your feet. They want to get ahead by making you look bad. My advice to you is to speak with him directly and ask him why he is doing it and tell him it makes you feel uncomfortable. As he can't be trusted he may have moved to bcc your boss instead, so you should voiced your concern with your boss as well. You must cover your ass at all times with this guy. So document anything important concerning him and always answer his emails as if your boss may be in bcc and don't take any **** attempt from him to make you look bad especially via email and answer him to set the record straight, r this is party of documenting.
Sent from my GT-I9000 using XDA Premium App
A dark alley. A late night event. A mindless ass-kicking.
It could be fun.
SciFiSurfer said:
A dark alley. A late night event.
It could be fun.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Sent from my HTC Vision using XDA Premium App
See? Thats what happens when a passive agressive sociopath makes the big mistake of ****ing with a psychopath.
So this has absolutely nothing to do with Android or anything...
So me and my wife have been together since freshman year in high school we are now 27.. have a 7 year old and a 1 month old. I love her.. and would never cheat on her..
A week or so ago I got a message from a cute chick on facebook saying she wanted to be my friend. I asked her why she said because she thought i looked cute in my pictures. I told her she wasn't so bad looking and we had a kind of flirty conversation. I did however tell her about my wife and kids and we talked about things like where we live and what not.. noting more than a PG conversation..
IT NEVER WENT ANY FARTHER THAN THIS CONVERSATION AND ONLY ONCE...
So i left my FB page up and my wife snooped and read my messages.. she is now crying..
I do feel bad that she got her feelings hurt, but i don't really feel like i did anything wrong..
Let me know what you guys think about my mess i made... just curious about outside opinions..
Well, just tell her it was a mistake.
You were stupid and just liked the attention. It wasn't like you intended to cheat on her.
Think about how you would feel if you seen her doing that to you.
Nothing will gain you're trust back from her but time...
The above is very good advice.
This seems like a weird place to ask such a question, but what the hell, I'll give it a shot too.
Tell her you love her very much and that you would never, ever cheat on her. You have to be absolutely sincere about this and make yourself believe it even if you actually did think about cheating. Any doubt that you show she will pick up on now.
PS: I've never understood why everyone loves Facebook. I hate that ****.
shawayne21 said:
Well, just tell her it was a mistake.
You were stupid and just liked the attention. It wasn't like you intended to cheat on her.
Think about how you would feel if you seen her doing that to you.
Nothing will gain you're trust back from her but time...
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Thanks. Good advice
Haints said:
The above is very good advice.
This seems like a weird place to ask such a question, but what the hell, I'll give it a shot too.
Tell her you love her very much and that you would never, ever cheat on her. You have to be absolutely sincere about this and make yourself believe it even if you actually did think about cheating. Any doubt that you show she will pick up on now.
PS: Facebook sucks.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
I am sincere. I had no intentions of cheating..
LOL and i know but I am here alot you guys are like family and it seemed like a good place to get non objective view..
Its reasons like that me and my wife share a FB account. Full freaking transparency! Just tell her you got caught up for a minute because we all like to be flattered once in a while. I'm sure she has flirted at some point behind your back.
In times of great personal conflict and inner-turmoil with the ones I love, I also think of turning to an cell-phone internet message board of complete strangers for advice.
badaphooko01 said:
Its reasons like that me and my wife share a FB account. Full freaking transparency! Just tell her you got caught up for a minute because we all like to be flattered once in a while. I'm sure she has flirted at some point behind your back.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
+1 to this. My wife and I share one too and have the privacy set high. We orignally got it to "spy" on people but have since put some stuff on there. Agree also with the "everyone wants to feel special" once in awhile aspect too. I can garauntee that if you try hard enough, you can find some instance that she has flirted too, but why would you want to do that b/c you'll just end up over analyzing everything. Just say you are sorry.
Side story:
A long time ago (15+) before FB, G+ ot twitter, I used to work nights in college. I got home late one night and my girlfriend at the time was asleep. The phone rang and I used to have this habit of screwing with tele-marketers to hopefully piss them off enough to drop my number.
This time it was just a wrong number, but there was a shy, what sounded like a cute voice on the other line that apologized for calling the wrong number. Before she got off the phone, I asked her what she was wearing and messed with her a little bit, then hung up. Told my girlfriend in the morning about it and we laughed (full disclosure-sorry I'm honest like that).
Anyways this girl called back the next night too and this time my girlfriend was up and we totally messed with this girls head and got her to agree to meet for a 3-way (only problem was she didn't know my GF was on the phone so it was going to be with her and her boyfriend-I don't do two swords if you know what I mean).
Long story short, we completely messed with this girl and my phone company at the time had this feature that if right after you got an annoying call you could hit *57 and if you did it to the same number 3 times in one month, it got their phone shut off for a month for harassing.
If you can't or won't follow though woth something, don't chat with someone you don't know. For all you know, it could have been me on the other side of the Facebook message.
PJcastaldo said:
Thanks. Good advice
I am sincere. I had no intentions of cheating..
LOL and i know but I am here alot you guys are like family and it seemed like a good place to get non objective view..
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Yeah man, what you SHOULD do now, dont know if youre willing to do so, but you should just give her your facebook password. If you know youre not going to do anything like that again, she should be able to have it.
It will get a LOADDD off her shoulders knowing she doesnt have to sneak up on you, but rather look for herself at any time.
Hope everything goes well for you man. Just give it time.
FACEBOOK IS FULL OF PEOPLE YOU USED TO KNOW AND DONT WANT TO TALK TO, TWITTER IS FULL OF PEOPLE YOU DONT KNOW AND WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO..IMO,Hope everything works out,
hope everything is working out.
Im just a couple yrs older than you and have have been married about the same time, have 1 child also; so I can understand how this would be a really emotional situation for her and then you.
others gave good advice. be honest w her. tell her it was a mistake. let her look through all your other FB, email, ect... messages to prove to her that this was a one time semi-inocent situation.
even though you did nothing wrong, and maybe you did not, but put yourself in her situation. if you found that on her FB, you would probably be pretty pissed too (at least I would be).
so let her look at everything, give her your passwords, what ever you need to show her that this was a one time incident, that it was nothing more then casual chatting, but you understand that she is upset and you see how it looks now, you would be too in her situation, and that you wont do it again.
good luck
Online cheating is cheating.
I have a different opinion.
I think you should have never added her and never had any type of conversation with her. There is no reason a married man with children should be adding random females to his Facebook.
Secondly, you said you had no intention of cheating, but what about online cheating? What if she had asked you to get on Skype so she could give you a little show. Are you telling me you wouldn't go and watch and maybe join on Skype yourself?
That is my opinion. We live in a new world, and online relationships are a form of cheating in my opinion. You wouldn't sit with this girl at a coffee shop and chit chat, you shouldn't online either.
That's why I'm getting married till I'm like late 20's/early 30's
Hope it works out mate!
Sent from my T959 using xda premium
PJcastaldo said:
So this has absolutely nothing to do with Android or anything...
So me and my wife have been together since freshman year in high school we are now 27.. have a 7 year old and a 1 month old. I love her.. and would never cheat on her..
A week or so ago I got a message from a cute chick on facebook saying she wanted to be my friend. I asked her why she said because she thought i looked cute in my pictures. I told her she wasn't so bad looking and we had a kind of flirty conversation. I did however tell her about my wife and kids and we talked about things like where we live and what not.. noting more than a PG conversation..
IT NEVER WENT ANY FARTHER THAN THIS CONVERSATION AND ONLY ONCE...
So i left my FB page up and my wife snooped and read my messages.. she is now crying..
I do feel bad that she got her feelings hurt, but i don't really feel like i did anything wrong..
Let me know what you guys think about my mess i made... just curious about outside opinions..
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Tell her you love her AND that you were A COMPETE DUMBASS for having a meaningless, stupid convo. Then be good and don't do this AGAIN!
Sent from my HTC Sensation 4G using Tapatalk
One day I was at my girlfriend's house, her hot sister came to me and asked if I would like to sleep with her. I was shocked, and, as fast as I could, ran out of the house to my car. To my surprise my girlfriend was outside leaning against the car. She then said, "I knew I could trust you! ", then gave me a hug and told me she loved me.
Moral of the story?
Always keep your condoms in your car.
Wow, what a mess you've gotten yourself into.
If you haven't already, I think you need to first know and understand why your wife is upset.
After years of marriage, she certainly knows you as a person. If you're the type of person who doesn't cheat, she probably knows it. So it's not really a matter of "cheating".
It's a matter of loyalty and sense of security.
It's inevitable that people change over time. They're older, wiser, have different perspectives, etc. But the one thing that doesn't (ie, shouldn't) change is your commitment to your spouse.
when people first started dating, they think they're the perfect match for each other. After years of marriage you might:
-pack on some extra weight
-lose some hair
-no longer buy flowers for your wife
-no longer put up the toilet seat
-have different political views
-discover both of you have different tastes in music
-etc
But, damn it, she knows that at least she can confidently say "After all this time, my husband still loves me."
And if she has a bad day at work or if she just needs a hug, you're there for her. No matter what, you're suppose to have her back. You're her pillar to lean on. She might not need your support all the time, but she knows that if she does, you're there all the time, rock solid.
That "pillar" is what you've compromised here.
So when trying to make amends, don't focus on the FB chat. That's not the real issue at hand. Do what you need to do to let her know that you're still there for her.
TO YOUR WIFE :
plz forgive him, it's nothing, he's a loving husband if he's asking such a small thing here, that means he loves you alot.
Sent from my X8 using Tapatalk
DevStaffAndroid said:
Sent from my X8 using Tapatalk
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
now THATS a helpful answer xD
Sent from my GT-S5570 using XDA App
Me and my GF had a three day fight cause I never changed my Facebook profile from "single" to "in a relationship", and she thinks she had it bad. Of cpurse her drama queen sister conviced her it was so i can cheat. I only log in once or twice a month and never thought to change it.
OP you guys should just delete all your Facebook profiles, its more trouble than it's worth, like the situation you got into.
Facebook is nothing but a gathering for information and statistics anyway.
Simply don't post stuff at all
Ok folks, I don't frequently ask for advice in matters of the heart or personal stuff. Typically I confine myself to the realm of IT and phones. But awhile back when I was still whacked out over my Ex, I hurt someone I cared for greatly. It's been tough making things work out but I decided to lay everything on the line and I am mailing the following letter to her in hopes of things working out. Any input especially from the fairer sex (if there be any here :laugh would be appreciated. Any thoughts folks?
Redacted
,
There’s a great deal of things I would like to say to you. Many would most likely just be a rehash of things I have said before. I don’t believe though that anything I ever say from this moment on would be sufficient to change the way things are right now. I know I have tried time and time again to express my sincere regret for my actions. I did something terrible to you. It wasn’t getting you sick, it wasn’t making you feel used, and it wasn’t being a real jerk to you. It was turning my back on you. I walked away when I should have stayed and stood by you. I truly regret my actions and if I could, I would take them back and do things differently. I would have stayed by your side. I would have shown you that I was a good man and that I truly do care for you.
I’ve said this before and I do mean it, I have always felt something for you. Ever since we were children a part of me has been in love with you. Not just because I think you are beautiful, but because of who you are. I’ve always loved the way you carried yourself, the way you moved, the way you sat, everything. It wasn’t until we were adults that I realized behind the beauty and grace was a mind that was as wonderful as the rest of you. You are an amazing woman whom anyone would be lucky to have in their life.
When I changed my status and you messaged me, we talked and ended up admitting truths. When you accepted my offer for a date, I was elated. How often does the woman of your dreams, the one you’ve had a crush on your entire life, the one you always imagined asking out, actually pay attention to you and says yes to a date with you? When we went out, I thought I was over the past and I was wrong. I didn’t mean to hurt you the way I did.
The worst thing for me is being alone. Not necessarily being alone, but being alone in my thoughts. When I’m alone, I have nothing to distract me from my thoughts. I’ve had time to evaluate my actions, my decisions, and my life. I see a great many mistakes I have made in my life. Many of them I cringe at knowing I did or said those things. I look back at turning my back on you and I want to just berate myself and kick myself over and over again for what I did. I was a fool for doing that. You deserved better than my actions and I have no excuse for what I did. Regardless of my mindset or my thoughts at the time, you deserved someone who would be there especially when he caused it. I wasn’t.
Since then, I have wanted nothing more than to make it up to you. To show you I am the man you deserve. I’ve wanted nothing more than to deserve you. I know I’ve made a royal mess of my life due to my actions and have damaged yours as well. You were doing great and while you may have wanted more in life and would have eventually attained that goal, I set you back. I don’t know how far and I hope it’s not nearly as far as I believe it to be. I believe you deserve the best in life. I believe we all do. I don’t know if I am what’s best for you, but I know that for me, settling for anyone other than you would be a grave mistake on my part. I would be a true fool to not try and show you I am a good man and I deserve a second chance.
I’ve tried calling you a fair amount lately, as well as texting you. You haven’t answered my phone calls and lately haven’t answered a single text. I can’t say I blame you for not talking to me all things considered. I’ve been terrible to you and haven’t been the person you need in your life. I want to be that man but I don’t know if you can ever let go of the past and the distrust. I don’t know if you can ever truly trust me again. That in itself is a shame as I am a good man and would be willing to do just about anything to ensure your well being and your happiness. Once committed to something, I am determined to see it through. Perhaps you think I should be committed for being this way, but it’s who I am. It takes something major to change my mind about things. I think you know that by now.
I know that between not working and with the medical issues you’ve mentioned that you might be unsure of things. I know that you’ve said you don’t believe I can make decisions that take you into consideration. I want you to know that even knowing that you have problems medically, that if things are as bad as you fear, that you may not be around for as long as you would like to be, I am still here and I won’t walk away just because things are difficult again. I did once and I learned a valuable lesson from doing so. I learned what was worth fighting for and what wasn’t. I want to be there for you. I want to show you the support you deserve and be there for you when you want and need me. I already am even though you may not want me to be.
You agreed with me once that if I had not been a fool and been the man a woman like you deserves, we both may have been happy together right now. Despite all the bad, we would have been together and together we would have worked towards something great.
There’s a saying, one that I agree with, “Nothing good in life is ever easy.” I believe that the best things in life are worth fighting for. I believe that you are worth it. That despite where I may stand in your eyes or in your heart, I believe trying is the right thing to do. I may be wrong but without your input, I don’t know to stop.
I am not asking you to jump into anything with me. I would like for you to, but I can wait a bit for that. What I am asking is that we start over and that you let me prove to you that I am worth a second chance. I want to prove to you that I am the man you deserve, one that will always be there for you. I’d like to pick up things where we left off, but I don’t believe that’s an option anymore. I’m willing to start anywhere you think we should just so that one day I can rebuild the trust I shattered and one day we can have a relationship that puts others to shame.
I want to be more to you than a bad decision easily forgotten. I believe I deserve better than that and I believe that I can be the absolute best choice you’ve ever made.
You once said that I should focus on rebuilding my life. You said that I should fix my life before trying to start a relationship with you. I am working towards that every day. I have good and bad days but overall, things are moving in the right direction. I believe though that when I am not working or able to work towards my goals, the free time I have so to speak, that those times are when I should work on rebuilding your trust and our friendship, that those times should be spent with you.
I am going to rebuild my life better than before. I want that life to include you, to be there for you and you for me. I would like for us to be together for as long as we have on this earth. I would ask for the next life too, but I don’t want to seem too eager or greedy. I know things don’t always work out as planned and that all of this may be wishful thinking, but I truly believe that we were in each other’s paths again after so long a time apart for a reason. I do not believe though that our paths should diverge just yet. I believe that there is more for us here and that we should pursue it. I hope that deep down you feel the same way. I hope that somewhere deep inside is the desire to see things work out and for us to have a chance together even after everything that I caused.
I’ve made mistakes in my life before. I’ve made a great many of them, but none as great or none I regret more than hurting you and breaking your trust. I want you to know I will spend the rest of my life and do anything I have to in order to earn back your trust and friendship, to earn back the look in your eyes when you looked into mine, the right to hold your hand in mine again, to hold you close and say the things that matter in life.
I want to try again. I want to be the man for you. Will you let me be that man?
Sincerely,
Darrell
You sound like a young man. Take some advice from a 33 yr old that has walked many paths and who has loved and lost. As cliche as it sounds, its true, if its ment to be, it will happen. Explaining to her how you hurt and and how much you love her will not make her comeback. The heart wants what it wants. I know the pain at time seems unbearable at times and the obsesive thoughts seem to never to stop, but in time, the pain starts to recede, the thoughts slowly die down. Concentrate on yourself for now, stay away from alcohol, and live one day at a time. In time, you will find that special someone, and she will be nothing but a memory.
Man I hate to tell you but I hope the kids in OT don't have a hay day with this. It's a legitimate request. If things get to outta hand, hit me up with a PM. I've been down this road and it's not an easy one. If you want advice, shoot me a message. Best of luck to ya man!!
A toast from my Gnex aboard the Satisfaction!
Actually I'm 33. Big loveable guy at heart lol.
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DarrellRaines said:
Actually I'm 33. Big loveable guy at heart lol.
Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using xda premium
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O rly!? :what: Me and you have lived very diffrent lives.
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Some parts of it seemed long and repetitive.
I think you can cut it shorter but still say what you want to say.
If she hasn't replied your texts or returned your phone calls, a letter this long may be thrown out immediately.
Just my 2 cents.
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LoopDoGG79 said:
O rly!? :what: Me and you have lived very diffrent lives.
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I've been lucky. Up until recently I should say. I love freely and end up getting hurt a lot. We are the sum of our life experiences.
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I immediately skipped to this line at the bottom
I want to try again. I want to be the man for you. Will you let me be that man?
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That's all I need to read to tell you that you need to move on. Sorry, but it's true. Just the fact that you're asking her if you can "be that man" just says a lot.
I believe I deserve better than that
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Prove it. Go out there and find somebody better. After all, you do deserve it.
Ooooohhhhhh k, now that I've re-read it, I gotta take back what I said. Dude, you can't put yourself out there like that. You might as well be the weird stalker guy that watches her go to the grocery store. You gotta move on man. Swallow what little bit of pride you have and keep on going.
A wise man once told me, the only way to get over one girl is to get under another.
A toast from my Gnex aboard the Satisfaction!
'I am not asking you to jump into anything with me. I would like for you to, but I can wait a bit for that.'
you shouldn't write 'i can wait a bit'...
it sounds like 'yeah if you don't get laid by me next week, i'll search for another one'...
just write 'i can wait'
PS: good luck to you man!
Okay, I'm writing this in Notepad as I read what you wrote.
First paragraph, I'd trim this down. A lot of it is shooting yourself in the foot is going on here if your goal in this is to try to win her back.
"I turned my back on you. I walked away when I should have stayed and stood by you. I truly regret my actions. I wish I'd had the sense to stay by your side - I wish I could have been a better man."
Second paragraph, I'd cut this entirely, at least this early on.
Third paragraph : "You deserved better". You could attach this to the first at this point. A lot of this feels like a guilt trip for her when you're claiming you've hurt her. Don't tell her why YOU are needy and need her - why should she care (even if she does) ?
Fourth paragraph, same as second. This feels kind of random and unnecessary at this point.
Fifth paragraph. Okay. I don't know the situation, so that makes this really hard. But I wouldn't say in your letter that you DESERVE a second chance. Don't put this on her like she somehow needs to do you a favour. " I know I’ve made a royal mess of my life due to my actions and have damaged yours as well. You were doing great and while you may have wanted more in life and would have eventually attained that goal, I set you back. I don’t know how far, but I hope you're still able to attain all you wanted*" (*I don't know the situation, so I don't know how much she can expect ?) Tell her how you can HELP her attain whatever it is you set her back from, even if you can't directly.
Sixth paragraph. This whole letter is really vague so far - have you edited it for the internet ? If not, I'd be more specific. "I don't know if you can ever trust me again, that I understand". She knows she's been ignoring you - you don't have to tell HER that.
Seventh. "I wish I had been good enough to not have to hurt you in the process of learning what was worth living and fighting for". Somethingn like that.
Eight. You've basically said this before. Stop dwelling on it - it happened. What can you do to at least tell her in words that you're comitted to making a CHANGE ? What would you do in the FUTURE with her if you got back together at this point ? What would you do for HER ?
Nine. "Starting over" is not what you want. If you started over, well, you'd end up in the same place, right ? You need to express that you've learned and that that is always with you - that you're not going to mentally "start over".
Ten. Okay, what progress HAVE you made ? Can you tell her about THAT ? What can you do to make progress with her ? What would you like to do if you were to start "slow" ?
Eleven and Tweleve. I'm not going to comment on these, specifically.
Okay, so.
If I was reading this, I would feel you're too focused on NEEDING her and it's a lot of words, words, words - but no action. It's all talk and not much substance to actually mean something to someone who's been hurt. Address what you did. Address what you would DO. Address HOW you've changed, what you're doing. Let her know specifics about what you're doing to improve your life and yourself. Let her know HOW you can help her, what are you willing to do ? How can you support her ?
I'm not here to comment on if this is the right thing to do or if you need to move on. Maybe you do - I don't know. I don't know you or the situation. I'm just reading this, trying to think about if I'd been sent it.
I'm reading a whole lot of "I WANT you in MY life" - but no really good reasons why she should want to be in yours. Why should she ? ... SHOULD she ? If it really would be good for her, why ? Don't tell her that she needs to "fight" for this with you - if she's the one who's been hurt, why should she have to struggle any more ? Show her that you've changed and advanced enough that it wouldn't need to be something difficult.
Don't take this too personally. I don't know you, I don't know her - I don't know what happened. I can't tell you the best 'advice' possible without that.
Beware rebounds. If you haven't fixed your **** before trying to move on, you'll invariably **** up again and probably make the same sort of mistakes - or hey, maybe even all new ones. Figure your **** out - it's what this girl you're writing to wants to see - and it's what any girl who isn't going to be another couple broken hearts is going to want to see. It's old, but it's true - you can't expect to find someone to fully love and commit to you if you're not even fully what you want from yourself.
I tried. :good:
^ Great suggestions.
To OP, I read the whole thing. Twice. You're truly expressing yourself, but you don't need to keep reminding her what happened. She KNOWS what happened. And I would even say she dwells on it. So saying stuff like 'I turned my back on you" wouldn't really help. Being self critical is fine, but I found it to be slightly overkill.
And, in the whole letter, I kept searching for the world "sorry". You haven't said sorry even once. You NEED to tell her your sorry. She NEEDS to know that. You need to actually apologize to her instead of saying that you are unworthy.
If you really think she's the one, go pursue her, and don't let up.
I'm much younger than you, but I hope my advice helps.
Best of luck, mate.
So I read your letter and I can see that you're very troubled with the situation. A lot of people here have given you great advice, I'd really consider not shooting yourself in the foot like the person above stated.
My main concern is the letter seems more about you feeling bad and wanting to make things right rather than actually apologize and let the chips fall where they may, again like the person above stated.
My two cents, take out at least half of your "I"s . Don't beat yourself up especially in a letter to her as that won't inspire confidence in you as a man. Straight up, be a man; apologize for whatever happened, tell her what you feel, and then give her space. Sucks but other than that you'll suffocate her.
Hope all goes well man.
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