Database Develop

[WORST JOKE] welcome to the worst jokes with ratings.

Hi all.
Just let us make the worst possible jokes . U can also rate (and comment) the jokes above u out of 10 stars.
The worst the joke is , the highest the rating should be...
MINE:
U know why i use a cell phone...
....bcoz
........bcoz
..............bcoz
I can't use a cell tower....
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c'mon . Who is the 1st one to rate and comment me.....

I give it a 6.
A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender yells at him to leave, saying, "We don't serve your kind here!"
The mushroom replies, "Why not? I'm a fun guy."
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I give it 5.
A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender stops it saying, "we don't serve u".
Then the mushroom says, "but I serve u".
Sent from my HTC Wildfire using XDA App

bharatgaddameedi said:
I give it 5.
A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender stops it saying, "we don't serve u".
Then the mushroom says, "but I serve u".
Sent from my HTC Wildfire using XDA App
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Sent from my PC36100 using XDA App
Www that's a 4.
Two ducks are sitting in a bathtub.
The duck in the front says to the duck in the back, "hey, pass me the soap!"
The duck in the back looks at the duck in front and says " what do i look like...a typewriter?!"
That's mine.

westicle said:
Sent from my PC36100 using XDA App
Www that's a 4.
Two ducks are sitting in a bathtub.
The duck in the front says to the duck in the back, "hey, pass me the soap!"
The duck in the back looks at the duck in front and says " what do i look like...a typewriter?!"
That's mine.
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Hmmm. 5 again.
An ant and a housefly are riding motor cycles. Both are coming in opposite directions on a road. They met with an accident in which ant got heavy injuries but the housefly doesn't. Guess why.
...
...
...
The housefly had wings. It flew just before the accident.
Sent from my HTC Wildfire using XDA App

bharatgaddameedi said:
Hmmm. 5 again.
An ant and a housefly are riding motor cycles. Both are coming in opposite directions on a road. They met with an accident in which ant got heavy injuries but the housefly doesn't. Guess why.
...
...
...
The housefly had wings. It flew just before the accident.
Sent from my HTC Wildfire using XDA App
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I give it a 8.34
Once an ant got a sugar cube for an elephant to eat, the elephant replied I can't I have diabetes.
Sent from my LG-P500 using XDA Premium App

4silvertooth said:
I give it a 8.34
Once an ant got a sugar cube for an elephant to eat, the elephant replied I can't I have diabetes.
Sent from my LG-P500 using XDA Premium App
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I give it a 7.13 cuz of the scardy elephant
Two fishes are in a tank.
one fish said to the other
"Oi, how do we drive this thing?"
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cheers

how many animals can you fit inside a condom?
#a **** and a few haires
(my favourate joke when i was little )

raving_nanza said:
how many animals can you fit inside a condom?
#a **** and a few haires
(my favourate joke when i was little )
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Doesn't like it. Its rule breaking.
Worst jokes doesn't mean rule breaking. Sorry to say ....
Sent from my HTC Wildfire using XDA App

****: [kok]
- noun 1. rooster 2. male bird 3. valve 4. the hammer in a gun.
Sent from my 'SilverBullet' HTCDesireZ running CM7

jockeinz?
insteed of jockeink u most go work custem kernalz for oure devices. this not fun. we sit here wait for devz but their jockinz not workz. i disapoints xda.

Blagus said:
insteed of jockeink u most go work custem kernalz for oure devices. this not fun. we sit here wait for devz but their jockinz not workz. i disapoints xda.
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I give it a 2.
A termite walks into a bar and askes, "Is the bar tender here?"
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A man and his wife wanted something new in their life so they go to the store and ask the clerk can I have something new? The clerk handed them a sign that said something new
Sent from my SGH-T959 using XDA App

conqu1stador said:
I give it a 2.
A termite walks into a bar and askes, "Is the bar tender here?"
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I give 8 XD If thats good I loeld lol

A man walks into a bar............. ouch!

Two parrots sitting on a perch.
One says to the other "Can you smell fish?"

xaccers said:
Two parrots sitting on a perch.
One says to the other "Can you smell fish?"
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9's!
MacaronyMax said:
I give 8 XD If thats good I loeld lol
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LOL
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park your car, man!
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conqu1stador said:
9's!
LOL
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I'd give it a 3 of sorts.
A white cat was walking along when it fell into the drain.
A black cat walks by and says?
Meow.
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sakai4eva said:
I'd give it a 3 of sorts.
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1. 'ZOMG' the lowest rating yet!?
why do milking stools only have three legs?
Because the cow has the udder!
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Sent from my PC36100 using XDA Premium App

^ I give it a 4.99
Once there were three ants walking. The first said I have two ants behind me,second says I have two ants behind me,third says the same thing,how......
They were walking in a circular path.
Sent from my LG-P500 using XDA Premium App

Tell a Joke

Do what it says on the tin (title) lol
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”
The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

Here's a joke....
Archer : Hey did you search before starting this thread?
Zd0s : Yes.
Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk 2

Archer said:
Here's a joke....
Archer : Hey did you search before starting this thread?
Zd0s : Yes.
Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk 2
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Hahaha. I love this joke.
Sent from my XDA using HTC Vision.

R.i.p adam yauch of the beastie boys

Sent from my SPH-D700 using xda premium

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
WARNING>>>>>>>>>>>>>>some of the vids I posted may not be SFW!!!

Holy crap man, wow........just wow
*you can add him to the bank here
http://forum.xda-developers.com/showthread.php?t=1540495

boborone said:
Holy crap man, wow........just wow
*you can add him to the bank here
http://forum.xda-developers.com/showthread.php?t=1540495
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will do

RIP

My fav song
RIP MCA

We are losing so many good artists
Michael Jackson
Whitney Houston
And now Adam yauch

http://www.pandora.com/station/424328874683071417

Brace yourselves
beastie boys are going to become more famous

husam666 said:
Brace yourselves
beastie boys are going to become more famous
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as they weren't famous enough

davidrules7778 said:
as they weren't famous enough
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which is why I said more

husam666 said:
which is why I said more
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whatever

What next?
"Justin Bieber shot in Iraq".
NO WAI!
Sent from my R800i using xda premium

IrishStuff09 said:
What next?
"Justin Bieber shot in Iraq".
NO WAI!
Sent from my R800i using xda premium
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this would please me, not make me sad

NO SLEEP TILL BROOKLYN.
R. I. P BROTHER.
YOU WILL BE MISSED.
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I777 using xda premium

I need to go find a bottle of Brass Monkey if they still make it.
RIP MCA

85gallon said:
I need to go find a bottle of Brass Monkey if they still make it.
RIP MCA
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You can make your own
Vodka,rum and orange juice
Sent from my SPH-D700 using xda premium

Ringtone now 'girls' in the great man's honour. Sad, sad day.
Sent from my GT-I9000 using xda premium

R.I.P. Adam Yauch. Another great talent gone too soon.

Adam's in heaven with Cookie Puss at last.
So much joy and great memories. Part of the party soundtrack to my and our lives.

What Simpsons episode is this?

I remember watching it many years ago. What I remember of it is that Springfield is under a heat wave and everyone seeks shelter in Springfield Elementary for its cooling system. Edna Krabapple is outside greeting people.
This cool looking guy with a leather jacket enters, saying: "Edna K" or something similar. Then this big black guy (Fat Albert?) with a red shirt enters, saying: "hey hey hey" in a very deep voice.
What episode am I talking about?

Theshawty said:
What episode am I talking about?
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errrrrrm.....
The one that you just described?
Sent from my Xoom using XDA Premium HD app

conantroutman said:
errrrrrm.....
The one that you just described?
Sent from my Xoom using XDA Premium HD app
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Well, the thing is, I don't remember which season and which episode it is, hence why I'm posting here.

"Bart of Darkness" is the first episode sixth season

lamborg said:
"Bart of Darkness" is the first episode sixth season
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That's not the one.

Theshawty said:
That's not the one.
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Is it Poppa's Got a Brand New Badge or I don't know.

Post your favorite TV shows

There NEEDS to be a thread about TV shows.
So, post your favorite TV shows.
I'll start off-
Big Bang Theory, Game of Thrones, Who's Line Is It Anyway?, Dragon Ball - Z, Burn Notice, Modern Family

According to Jim, How i met your mother, My name is Earl

How I Met Ur mother
Sent from my GT-S5660 using xda app-developers app

pityu100 said:
According to Jim, How i met your mother, My name is Earl
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batman38102 said:
How I Met Ur mother
Sent from my GT-S5660 using xda app-developers app
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I used to love How I met Your Mother, but now I kinda feeling like that they're just delaying the ending.
I hope it doesn't end with - "And kids, I never met your mother. You're adopted"

Breaking Bad, Sons of Anarchy and How I Met Your Mother.
Sent from my SGH-T889 using xda app-developers app

Kabir Saxena said:
I used to love How I met Your Mother, but now I kinda feeling like that they're just delaying the ending.
I hope it doesn't end with - "And kids, I never met your mother. You're adopted"
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Actullay no...according to wikipedia season 8 will be the ending. Barney gets married to Robin and ted marries to the his kids mother then THE END
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SenorBlanco said:
Breaking Bad, Sons of Anarchy and How I Met Your Mother.
Sent from my SGH-T889 using xda app-developers app
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I love sons of Anarchy too. Amazing show.

batman38102 said:
Actullay no...according to wikipedia season 8 will be the ending. Barney gets married to Robin and ted marries to the his kids mother then THE END
Sent from my GT-S5660 using xda app-developers app
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Actually, I think Barney is the only thing keeping the show alive. His charisma and his casanova image.
And, I just checked up on Wiki. I hope its right., that its ending.
I still really like the show, though.

Kabir Saxena said:
There NEEDS to be a thread about TV shows.
So, post your favorite TV shows.
I'll start off-
Big Bang Theory, Game of Thrones, Who's Line Is It Anyway?, Dragon Ball - Z, Burn Notice
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
But there IS a thread...
Favorite TV show thread
Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 2

Dexter
Breaking Bad
The Walking Dead
Justified
Modern Family
Seinfeld
Oz

Desperate housewives and Friends ..

There's already a thread for TV shows. Use it.
Sent from my GT-N7000 using Tapatalk 2

LoopDoGG79 said:
But there IS a thread...
Favorite TV show thread
Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 2
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That thread hasn't been used for almost a year.
I saw no point in reviving it. And someone posted in that thread also that there's already a thread for that.
LordManhattan said:
There's already a thread for TV shows. Use it.
Sent from my GT-N7000 using Tapatalk 2
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eibbor82 said:
Dexter
Breaking Bad
The Walking Dead
Justified
Modern Family
Seinfeld
Oz
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Click to collapse
How could I forget modern family?!
Adding to op.

Kabir Saxena said:
That thread hasn't been used for almost a year.
I saw no point in reviving it. And someone posted in that thread also that there's already a thread for that.
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So, that means instead if bumping it, just make a new thread so you become the master of that idea instead?
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I don't want to be 'the master of the idea' . I can add credits of op of that thread since he was the 'Master of the idea'
Though I never looked at that thread before I searched for TV shows. And I searched for TV shows AFTER I got the idea myself. So I AM the 'Master of the idea'

The big bang theory

jootanen said:
The big bang theory
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Finally! Someone that likes big bang theory. :thumbup:

There is nohing wrong with bumping themed threads if you have something useful to add. However, there is also this: http://forum.xda-developers.com/showthread.php?t=1029216
Ok, my list, in no particular order except the top 3:
Sherlock BBC
Doctor Who
Castle
Person of Interest
Top Gear
Haven
Merlin
Stargate SG1 & Atlantis
Firefly
MASH
I like clever plots, original characters, excellent dialogue and good acting, so most modern shows annoy me to no end... -.- I also hate political and inter-personal drama.

ShadowLea said:
There is nohing wrong with bumping themed threads if you have something useful to add. However, there is also this: http://forum.xda-developers.com/showthread.php?t=1029216
Ok, my list, in no particular order except the top 3:
Sherlock BBC
Doctor Who
Castle
Person of Interest
Top Gear
Haven
Merlin
Stargate SG1 & Atlantis
Firefly
MASH
I like clever plots, original characters, excellent dialogue and good acting, so most modern shows annoy me to no end... -.- I also hate political and inter-personal drama.
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Click to collapse
Looking at your choice, I think you may like white collar and burn notice too